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09.03.2016
Empower Others to Get All A's & Share!300026This section is all about emotions and learning about our mental health. As I attempt to write this June Emotion Commotion article on confidence, I’m getting stuck.
In addition to changing your mindset, there are other tactics you can try to help build your self esteem.
As someone who started out stuck on what to write, I’ve certainly come up with quite a bit to say! Identity writer Kimberly Elmore is currently employed by Delta Dental of New Jersey in the corporate communications department as the community relations coordinator. As human beings we all have issues, hang ups, and problems that threaten to not drag us down. Join over 65,000 women to Increase your happiness, self-worth and success by downloading over $1,500 in free tools and gifts! There are lots of ways to improve your self-confidence over the long-term – but sometimes you need an instant boost. Most of us have a critical inner voice that tells us we’re stupid, not good enough, that we’re too fat, thin, loud, quiet… Being able to change that inner voice is key to feeling self-confident on the inside, which will help you project your confidence to the world. Whatever the situation that’s causing you a crisis of self-confidence, you can help yourself immeasurably by holding yourself to your own standards alone. Even if you’ve only got a minute or two, duck into the bathroom to make sure you’re looking your best. If you believe in a higher power, whether God, or another spiritual force, it can be a real boost to self-confidence to say a silent prayer.
Keep your self-confidence up by taking gradual steps forwards, rather than freezing when faced with what seems like a giant leap. Have you ever sat through an entire class at college or meeting at work without saying a word? About Latest Posts Ali LukeAli writes about personal growth and development on her blog, Aliventures. Sometimes people just drag their confidence downhill because they are always repeating negative thoughts to themselves and our thoughts define our reality. My confidence tip is to maintain a Universal Perspective, remember how small we all are and how fleeting our lives are. And I am also interested on speak slowly point, because all this time I have been speaking quickly. Confidence, I agree about the smile, in Chinese the character for confidence and faith are the same. Once you are comfortable saying the words to yourself, ask a friend to listen to you say the phrase.
Research for the index, which measures overall job confidence as well as job confidence among the unemployed, shows that 76% of the country became more job confident, or maintained the same confidence levels in their job and ability to find work over the last three months.
Individuals in London, the South West and the East Midlands felt most confident about employment, in contrast with the West Midlands, Yorkshire and Humber, who have seen little change over the last quarter. Among the reasons for increased confidence is the proactive approach people have taken to improving their jobs prospects. The Index suggests that economic recovery is continuing to boost the nation’s job confidence, with 61% of employed people still feeling that it would take them less than six months to find a new job if they were made redundant.
Two-fifths (41%) of the people questioned now expect that they would need less than three months to find a new job, compared to only 38% in the previous three months. Joe Billington, director of the National Careers Service, said that jobseekers must continue to update their CVs and tailor them to each vacancy. A pretty heavy question but one I think that you can appreciate. If YOU are the most confident person that you know then no need to read further. You can go finish taming lions or asking-out super-models or whatever it is that the most confident people in the world do. See the thing about confidence is that it is at the core of so many other issues and at the subconscious mind level, the lack of confidence affects EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE.
In this self-paced 4-part series How To Be The Most Confident Person You Know – Using Four Simple Techniques you will learn exactly how to do #3. You will not see any of this material anywhere else on the web because this will not be just theory but my own personal stories and Herculean struggles that have gotten me to where I am today and the techniques that I’ve learned along the way. In a nutshell I basically said by the end of this four-part course you will become the most confident person that you know.
I was in a job where I felt like I was just another number on the payroll, waiting for the end of the day and Monday was a dirty word to me.
I instead tried to convince myself that I should be lucky just to have a job in this crazy economy! The funny thing about lack of confidence is that when you fear doing something you end up being your #1 critic and talking yourself out of what you fear most. I even visualized crawling back to the former boss begging him to take me back and letting him know how silly I was to think that I could leave the comfort zone of my cubical and corporate America. Coincidentally there were many similar lost souls there as it happened to be the same campground area where one of the most profound spiritual teachers, Eckhart Tolle was giving a talk.
Tolle said that lack of confidence (or low self-esteem) will always be a challenge to maintain because one cannot constantly be in a state of high self-esteem. That would mean continually giving yourself positive affirmations and reassuring yourself of your own value. You end up judging yourself against either what someone else thinks or what you think that someone else thinks about you. But that’s all most of us know how to do, compare ourselves and that usually means judging either others or ourselves.
The amazing little secret is that once you stop comparing yourself and making judgments,there is no such thing as lack of confidence because you have nothing to be fearful of. That typically has the effect of making you question your self worth which leads to low confidence.


This is the beginning of being The Most Confident Person You Know because now you are automatically on level-ground with everyone else.
You can’t control what someone says or does but you can control the way you react to it. Getting upset is natural–we all do it, but again its your reaction to that event that matters more than anything else.
If you are not grateful for something in your life that is usually the same thing that you place little value on. Expressing gratitude bolsters self-worth and self-esteem. When you realize how much people have done for you or how much you have accomplished, you feel more confident and efficacious. Unfortunately, for many people, it comes more naturally to focus on failures and disappointments or on other people’s slights and hurts. Gratefulness can help you unlearn this habit.
Instead of automatically thinking, “Woe is me,” in response to any setback, the practice of gratitude encourages you instead to consider what you value about your current life or how you are thankful that things aren’t worse. Think of someone that was very influential in your life, someone that has done something amazing for you or something important for you.
The point here is that you are calling someone out-of-the-blue and unexpected and unscheduled. Well it made my day just knowing that you now have it as a building-block to becoming The Most Confident Person That You Know. And to me passion is something that excites me and something that gets me closer to my purpose in life (or my yearly goal). So the Idea Machine is a technique to write down 10-20 ideas a day about anything that you can possibly imagine. Idea Conception + Idea Nourishment + Idea Execution = Confidence that you can creatively get closer to whatever helps you to grow as a person.
Yesterday was probably one of the funnest techniques that I’ve come across to help get the confidence juices flowing.
The worst thing about future situations is the tension and anxiety that slowly builds before the actual event. I spent so much time worrying about what people would think of my presentation that I sometimes forgot what I was saying.
For the longest three seconds of my life I saw nothing but curious faces looking at me–almost as thought they have been waiting for this moment.
Well thankfully I quickly segwayed into something else but let me tell you–there is nothing worse than feeling like a complete fool in from of a crowd.
In fact from that day on, which was actually not that long ago, I promised myself that this would never happen again. As it turned-out, I was actually correct in thinking about my presentation before hand but what I did wrong was obsess over and dissect only the parts where I thought I would look bad or come off as looking like a fraud. The trick was to not think about what I would say or how I would look but how I would feel.
However following her advice I started off visualizing the people smiling in the audience, then some of them actually so nervous that it was hard for them to maintain eye-contact with me, then some of them actually not wearing any clothes, then finally a great line starting to form before I was finished speaking of people lining up to speak to me after the presentation.
You see the more ridiculous I played out the scenario in my mind the more confident that I was actually the one that would was in for a good show. Well since I started those visualization and fantasy-scenario techniques I have been eager to give presentations ever since. Not only visualize but actually feel it–feel the emotions as your are simulating that scenario in your head. For some of us it’s hard to learn to become confident just by reading a series of techniques. Even though the past four techniques that I shared over the past four days are some of the most powerful in the world. Kimberly Elmore, an Identity Staff Writer, has dedicated her time to educate and discuss a particular emotion in each issue. Stuck with that song in my head, and stuck with what words to type about the word confidence! As a matter of fact, my confidence level has grown just from exploring the concept of confidence in order to write this article! During Kimberly’s college years she served as the arts & entertainment editor of her college newspaper, and interned in the public relations department at the March of Dimes.
You can’t walk into an important work meeting, (or a class at college or a room full of strangers at a party) whilst frantically re-reading a self-help manual, or making a last-minute phone call to your life-coach. You don’t just smile because you are happy and confident – you can smile to make yourself feel better. Give them your smile; you’ll almost certainly get one back, and being smiled at is a great self-confidence boost. Make your inner voice a supportive friend who knows you fully but also recognizes your talents and gifts, and wants you to make the best of yourself.
Other people have different values from you, and however hard you try, you’ll never please everyone all of the time. Brushing your hair, giving your face a good wash, retouching your makeup, straightening your collar, checking you’ve not got a bit of parsley stuck between your teeth … all of these can make the difference between feeling confident in your physical appearance and feeling anxious about an imagined flaw. Perhaps you spill your drink on someone, you arrive late for the big meeting because of traffic problems, or someone who you wanted to speak to gives you a cold brush-off. If you’re not sure what to do, look for one simple step that you can take to make progress.
If you gabble, you’ll end up feeling worse as you know you’re being unclear to your audience or to the person you’re in a conversation with.
Have you had an evening out where friends chatted happily while you sat and stared silently at your drink? By changing our inner voice and speak to ourselves in a more positive way, it will definitely boost our self confidence. That brings up all of the feelings of success and confidence which at least put me in a positive space.


Taking an extra few moments to take a total account of appearance, loose ends, accessories etc, has made a huge difference for me.
This may at first feel intimidating but once you get past the ego and accept this, you will be able to rise above the Battle of the Egos out there and smile at it all (because it is all so, so silly) and this will give you immeasurable self-confidence. Up until now- I thought that a sign of intelligence was being able to speak quickly, as if you know everything about the topic that you were speaking about. I used to think that by speaking fast, you will picture urself as if you have command over what your are talking and shows your confidence. It suprises me how so many people complain about nothing, they’re warm, they have a roof over their heads, their healths fine. I find that expecting myself to do a piece of work and expecting to do it successfully is critical when it comes to saying no to the inevitable distractions that the mind throws up to derail my efforts. If you want to start to speak out and be heard, you have to practice hearing your own voice first. This marks an increase of two percentage points compared with the last Job Confidence Index. Nearly one quarter (24%) of unemployed people have applied for work experience compared with only 12% in the previous Index. Steve Jones, he is actually one of the foremost experts on confidence in the world–and has a VERY successful, well-established practice in beautiful Savanna, GA. It’s a great way for women to open up and become more aware of our emotions, feelings, and human behavior.
Someone who has confidence is secure in who they are — emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Feelings such as fear, anger, and being overwhelmed can make our confidence level take a nose dive, whereas, love, courage, and enthusiasm feelings can make our confidence level soar!
Acceptance of ourselves and the things we cannot change, appreciation for what we offer the world and what the world has to offer, and striving to achieve on deeper levels all can positively impact our confidence. Reality is I would clam up, especially when I was in a new situation meeting new people — I wouldn’t feel confident. To figure out what others were saying about confidence, find a top 10 list of things to do to build confidence.  I wasn’t confident that I could write about confidence!
The act of smiling is so strongly associated with positive feelings that it’s almost impossible to feel bad while smiling. Don’t worry that people will think you’re too overweight, underweight, too feckless, too boring, too frugal, too frivolous … hold yourself to your standards, not some imagined standards belonging to others.
That might mean making eye contact at a party, introducing yourself to a stranger, breaking the ice in a meeting, or asking a question of your interviewers that shows your knowledge of their industry and company.
Chances are, you weren’t feeling very self-confident at the time – and you probably felt even worse afterwards. As a corporate trainer, the first the my audience perceived was the image I presented to them…followed by my presentation. But that is so wrong, I was often told by people to slow down, never thought that my fast pace is sounding like jibberish to them. We should be able to enjoy the lush things, a plunge in a pool, an ice cream, life’s a sensual experience. And you build up your affirmations and their strength overtime you get into a power mode that you can’t conceive of today. In addition, 33% have attended training to progress in their careers, compared to 28% three months ago. If you perceive yourself as insecure, you’ll most likely be insecure and others will think you’re insecure.
Talk to a trusted friend about your insecure feelings – in sharing with others, you’ll learn you are not alone.
And remember that commonly-held values and standards vary from society to society: you don’t have to accept them just because the people around you do. If you’re giving a talk or presentation, pause at the end of phrases and sentences to help your audience take in what you’ve said. I feel that I’m highly confident at work, but in my personal life, I still struggle with feeling confident when it comes to certain friendships and dating, as well as new experiences. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” Confidence can become a part of your destiny – it all starts with your thoughts and your perception of yourself. Appreciate yourself, your body, your imperfections, and what you can contribute to this world.
Even if you don’t think you have much to say, your thoughts and perspective are valuable to those around you. Make them the centre of your being and who you are, when you invest who you are into something it’s something deep like your identity, so your bound to go at things with enthusiasm then. Practice saying it out loud in front of the mirror until you really start to hear yourself saying the words. When you give to others, you really are giving a gift to yourself – the gift that you are worthy and have much to offer. Its mission is based around helping women realize their true potential and self worth by sharing stories in a safe place that allows each of us to learn from one another and discover our true identity.
I have a decent sense of self worth (being a contributor and reader of Identity has certainly helped me in this area) and my self esteem has certainly improved as I’ve gotten older and had more life experiences – but – confidence is still a little foreign to me!
If you perceive yourself as confident, you’ll build confidence and others will think you are confident.



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