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21.03.2014
I truly believe that what I’m about to share with you has the possibility to be life-changing for you. This has really defined not only the way I work, but the way I live my life: I choose to be confident. I truly believe down to my core that if you go through life with confidence and faith, it doesn’t matter what life throws your way, because you will always use it as a tool for your own inner growth, and life will always point you in the right direction.
It’s when you go through life second guessing yourself and playing the role of the victim that you somehow get lost along the way. Tammy Holliday - Alex, I have been thinking about my non-existent confidence for the last two weeks, What a great video!
As you go on to talk about the shopping cart analogy I walked through the exercise with you to put those thoughts back on the shelf. Felicity Chambers - Thanks Alex for another amazing video and on a subject close to my heart. I will say that I could not agree with you more regarding faking it ’til you make it. I am so identified with all that you say here, somehow I feel I already knew most of this things but needed to be aware of them. I like your elevator challenge, I hate elevators, so I think I will take on that challenge and start up conversations with my neighbors from now on.
Their confidence clears the way for you to see them for who they are: A person who has embraced their complete self and shows up with all of it, without apology or guilt or shame, without feeling inferior or superior to anyone, and totally and completely comfortable in their skin.
In this post, I want to keep it super practical, with super actionable steps that you can take immediately to awaken, build and boost your confidence.
Okay, now that you are ready, let’s talk about 31 actionable steps and immediate tips to become confident.
Sometimes it seems the confidence is often the missing element in those who can’t seem to find their success groove. Also, it is always interesting the way changing your physiology can literally change your internal state. Hi Natalya, thanks for reading and glad you were so taken by it that you are taking it alng with you. I’m reading your free confidence course (step 6) And I think this post was a good abstract of course. Hi there this was an awesome post, I think we constantly are battling with our internal monologue thinking that other people will judge us if we do this, say we aren’t right if we do that. Oh great, another job search, interview process, and eternal wait to be hired to finally start making money again. Last year, Life Works Families Blog asked me to guest post for them on the topic of interviews.
Head over to the Life Works Families Blog,  get the answers and learn how to be confident in an interview! What People Are Saying"I love your website and social media pages, more importantly your overall concept. Not feeling confident puts you into an indefinite rut and can cost you what you most want in life.
If they just gave up at that moment of low confidence, the world would have missed out on their great achievements.
The best way to boost your confidence is by doing something that will make you feel amazing.
For example, if you’re going to ask a successful local entrepreneur to be your mentor, you need to do your research. Once you have that information, plan your communication and how you’ll go about asking this person to be your mentor. I don’t mean be annoyingly persistent – I mean be persistent in the sense of doing things consistently that help you be more confident. In the example of the mentor, if you write him or her one email and you give up after not hearing from him or her, you’ll never get a mentor and grow your business. Now, nothing usually happens in a day, but your confidence doesn’t have to go down because of that.
When you finally reach your objective, take a second and bask in the amazingness that is you! Therese Cator is the founder of Cator Media and has taught entrepreneurs and artists how to use the web to grow their online empire. I have thought about this post probably more than any other post I’ve published here on this blog. How do you give yourself a good kick in the butt when you’re struggling with confidence?  Are there any tricks you’ve learned to help you overcome your insecurities??  I’d love to hear what you think! I think it would be so great if we could implement these kinds of lessons in schools, maybe even a class for socializing and self-esteem, or at least some kind of outlet for kids to share their insecurities and learn how to deal with them. It’s easy to be confident when you know people or when you have been doing a job or hobby for some time. I’m so glad you enjoyed this video and I LOVE your tip on imitating the posture of a confident person – amazing! I always enjoy following your journey, how you move forward and help others, even though some topics are not so relevant for me. Yes, I’m on the 12th floor haha, and find elevators can be very awkward if you allow it haha. I’m so glad that you enjoyed this video, I really wish more of my favorite up-and-coming entrepreneurs knew this.
I find that when business is in a slow spot I start second guessing myself and listening to those thoughts, like you mentioned.


I’m so glad you enjoyed this video, and I really LOVE your suggestion of giving three reasons as to why it’s OKAY! And the things we struggle with and overcome become the foundation of our deepest passions.
If you don’t already believe confidence to be the foundation for all your success in life, discover this higher self and prepare to bring your self-confidence to the show of your life first, darling! I will wait until you check out the posts above because it’s super important (super is my word of the day!) to believe with all your heart that confidence will pave the way to your dreams. Start to pay attention to yourself: I know this sounds obvious, but are you REALLY paying attention to yourself?
Walk into a room as if you own it: How do you walk into your own bedroom or your own kitchen? Keep your head over your shoulders: Check in with yourself and see if your head and your ear lobes are staying over your shoulders. Keep your chin parallel to the ground: As you check in with yourself, see if your chin is parallel to the ground or is it at an angle, which means your head is probably not straight. Compare yourself only to the yesterday version of you: Aim to be better than yesterday and only better than yourself, not anybody else. Pay attention to the inner dialogue: What are you telling yourself in that head of yourself? Walk briskly: When you are walking in the street or school or at work, walk with a purpose.
Look people in the eye when speaking: I find it so frustrating when people avoid my eyes as they speak to ME directly.
Treat everyone the way you want to be treated: If you want to have kindness and attention from people, give it first. Offer praise or compliment to make others feel good: This is a great way to start a dialogue and it shows others that you pay attention to them and that you care enough to say something. Show interest in others: When you meet someone or when you greet your peers or colleagues, show interest in what is going on in their life. Practice saying no: This is a big one in claiming your power and sticking to what you want in life. Practice asking for something: Asking for what you want is another way to build confidence fast but it comes with practice. Act like the dream vision of you: The way you become the ultimate vision of yourself is by starting to Be That Dream Vision Now.
Comparing ourselves to what I call a phantom is no fun for us or for the phantom, ha ha ;)!
This way it is not just about how to LOOK confident, but how to develop actual internal confidence. How do you think that believing in most powerful and merciful God can improve someone’s confidence?!
If your religion views bring you peace and help you accept yourself as you are and open your heart to goodness, then it can only be good for your confidence. Having the confidence to do the things you believe in takes a lot of courage, I guess its just comes with practice. Sometimes going with the flow is just as important as saying no and then being gracious about it. You know, that time you have to move across the country and find a new house, new doctor, new dentist, new school, new friends… and a new JOB?
Once you’ve prepared and sent our resumes, you still have survive (and rock) that dreaded interview.
Life Works Families is an employment support organization for military spouses and partners of British Military members. I have a great degree from a good school and can’t find anything in our new duty station.
At one point or another in everyone’s lives, they wonder if they can actually do what they set out to do. They are your role models for a reason – you are working up to their level and beyond.
If you call him or her a couple times after the email or try to be at an event they will be at, you may just get the mentor you want.
Persistence is the key to making what you want to happen happen… and giving yourself a huge confidence boost in the process.
Take a picture, share your reached goal with your friends, or find some other way to remember this moment when you hit confidence lows again.
Her clients have been on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday, at the Sundance Film Festival, on best-sellers lists, on Broadway, on network and cable television, and have featured in major publications like New York Times to name a few. DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT NEGATIVE VOICE IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD!  This is by far the most important step to gaining and maintaining confidence.
I think, while all of these are important, #1 and #2 are by far the ones that are the most difficult but the most crucial to being confident.
He has appeared on TV and radio, and is the author of several other books, including Brilliant NLP, Managing with the Power of NLP, NLP Business Masterclass and Beat Your Goals. Thanks so much for sharing I handle my insecurities by trying my hardest to tackle them head first, or giving myself little challenges like blogging 5 times a week for a few months, or timing how long it takes to do things, or committing something to myself and holding myself to it!
I especially enjoyed the part of elevator- I grew up at 8th floor so elevator was my daily experience and I never thought of it being awkward, but when you started telling that you speak with all of unknown people in the elevator- now that I think is really awkward!! I know that we should control our thoughts more often and I think I will ask me more often if I put this thought in my basket and if the thought is me from now on. Once you have the right mindset, stepping outside one’s comfort zone is not as hard as first thought.


I’ve also always had a difficult time meeting new people, which I think stems from the fear of what others will think of me.
I never want to disappoint anyone and I am always over thinking what others might think of me.
Their age, nationality, sex, race or profession is a complete non-issue because their confidence makes you look past all this. That’s what led to the 21-Step Confidence Building Series, which is a FREE email course you can sign up for, and where I give you actionable practical steps to build that inner confidence. Start to become self-aware, listen to your voice, watch your posture, see how you show up in every sense of the word.
And you don’t have accurate and conclusive information about the person you are comparing yourself to, anyway, so you are comparing yourself to a phantom. Ladies (or guys?), wearing the right amount of make-up and knowing how to wear it well is a huge confidence boost. Take both as they come, thank the person offering it, and decide what to do about it (if anything). Notice every aspect of your body and where you may be a sending a message that makes you unapproachable. Start with small stuff like asking for the price on something before you work up to the big stuff like asking for that overdue promotion at work! You are responsible for it and that knowledge can boost your confidence and help you feel in control of your life.
I know you guys are experts at this and hey, we are in this fun journey together and I love learning from you! Our feelings and emotions respond to how we hold our body, but too often people tend to be unaware of how they hold their body and a slight a adjustment (or a few) can make a huge shift.
Copied the article to all my devices to read weekly as a reminder what a big difference confidence makes! If my significant other or close friends were that inflexible or if I was that inflexible then you stop getting invited places. No content on this site may be used in any fashion without written consent from Prolific Living Inc.
I really enjoyed your tips and especially when you said that one can go for a walk or sing or something when negativity starts battling them. This confidence is representative of a deep trusting in the perfection of your path, and an immense feeling of self-respect no matter how bad you seemingly mess up.
I have found that those things that make you uncomfortable at first, actually make you grow so much! Now, thanks to your shopping analogy (and other great tips) I can leave these thoughts on the shelf or throw them out of my basket at checkout!
A couple times just in the past week I’ve come out of my shell a bit more and those times instantly brought excellent networking moments for my business! Because to a polo novice (I am talking about the sport on horseback) I know everything, but I really don’t compared to someone who has played all their lives. Unless you really mess up, in which case you say it once, definitively and sincerely and you are done. If you want to be rich, stop acting like a penny pincher and start focusing on building your wealth. Being decisive is the one that stood out for me, I never thought that being indecisive sends a message to people that I am not confident.
Being gracious and rolling with it is just as important as having to pick places you refuse to go. Research what organizations or associations he or she belongs to and find out if there are future events or social networking opportunities that you can join in. By learning a series of practical techniques you will create new and permanent states of mind and behaviours, enabling you to call on a core of inner confidence at any time.
Who wants to listen to let alone buy info from someone who lacks confidence in themselves?? As this happens, some clarity comes into your train of thought and can steer you in a direction which might surprise you.
Now that I have graduated school I am wanting to make something of myself and I hope that with time and more confidence in myself I can! Of course I think you could write a blog post about every single one of these suggestions because they are all so good. I think life is a constant journey, and just because you teach something doesn’t ever mean you have it all together yourself!
But I have overcome that fear and anxiousness by really doing my research and trusting myself, and so far I have only received appreciation from my fellow polo fans. And if it doesn’t, I just try replacing it with a positive one I’m glad the shopping cart analogy helped, as well!
And yet you may change, my dear, you may improve and grow and all that, but start loving yourself now. But that thinking comes from a place of fear, and not love…and I want to be living in love, while continually discovering the best version of myself.



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