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By David Hamilton Filed Under: Change - Growth, Mindset Self confidence is one of the biggest things most people want for prosperity and success. So how do we generate that kind of confidence, that we see those “successful” people have? I look back at my information technology career in New York City, and how I started knowing very little about technology. I worked my way up to the manager level because of my drive and work ethic from ground zero. This definitely helps for reducing resistance to taking action in starting a business, advancing our career.
We often mistake confidence for the feeling of shining valiance and courage, that we think should be in place before taking action. They just did it, and then later noticed they were confident, but it wasn’t a second thought either way, whether they actually felt confident. If so, try allowing them to be there instead of controlling them, this should free your energy up to act, instead of fighting with yourself. You see the feeling of confidence and real self-confidence don’t have to be there together. And practicing doing this will make you pretty much unstoppable with everything but the most extreme fears. Awareness and mindfulness practice of allowing those fearful thoughts and emotions to be there, acknowledging them is one of the most powerful ways to have self-confidence in any situation.
It’s building up a new relationship with fear, transforming it even to a fuel that can help propel you into action, is truly a wonderful thing.
To create a story of how you want to show up in the world based on what matters most to you, and the kind of life you want to lead and the kind of person you want to be, deep down, every day.
This gives us a solid guidance system to making sure we focus on what’s really important to do, regardless of the fear that is there. For years, and years, and years I tried to get rid of fears first, tried to get self-confidence first and searched for countless ways on how to improve self confidence. Don’t be a technique chaser, trying to find that magic technique of how to increase self confidence. It’s all part of the skillset of learning how to build the muscle of change, anyways. Read previous post:How To Control Your EmotionsEmotion is at the root of being human, whether we like it or not. That means, I am without fear, I am not afraid of other people’s responses (Have I got it right? A small child totally depends on the help of the adults (father, mother, grandma, grandfather, etc.) in its life.
February 6, 2014 by travisnturner Leave a Comment A collection of awesome pins on self-discipline.
January 23, 2014 by travisnturner 1 Comment Persistence and perseverance are essential to developing self-discipline.  I find that it is helpful to read some quotes on persistence whenever I am tempted to give up. So the first thing you are going to want to do, if you are serious about resisting temptation, is make peace with the fact that your willpower is limited. Think about when you are most likely to feel drained and vulnerable, and make a plan to keep yourself out of harm’s way.  Be prepared with an alternate activity or a low-calorie snack, whichever applies. Also, don’t try to pursue two goals at once that each require a lot of self-control if you can help it. The good news is, willpower depletion is only temporary.  Give your muscle time to bounce back. The other way in which willpower is like a muscle (and the really great news for those of us trying to lose a few pounds) is that it can be made stronger over time, if you give it regular workouts. For example, in one study, people who were given free gym memberships and stuck to a daily exercise program for two months not only got physically healthier, but also smoked fewer cigarettes, drank less alcohol, and ate less junk food.
In fact, every aspect of their lives that required the use of willpower improved dramatically.
Emotional clarity comes when how we feel on the inside about what we are compelled to do is in alignment with what we intellectually believe we should do.
Discusses a study conducted by Wharton professor Katherine Milman who found that test subjects that were only given their reward (audio access to the Hunger Games) exercised 51% than those where the reward was not restricted. Ever wonder why your resolve to hit the gym weakens after you’ve slogged through a soul-sapping day at work?
It’s because willpower isn’t just some storybook concept; it’s a measurable form of mental energy that runs out as you use it, much like the gas in your car.

Further studies have suggested that willpower is fueled by glucose—which helps explain why our determination crumbles when we try to lose weight. Since it’s a finite resource, don’t spread yourself thin: Make one resolution rather than many. As Tierney explains, “People with the best self-control aren’t the ones who use it all day long. November 1, 2013 by travisnturner 1 Comment The definition of self-discipline, self-control, self-mastery, and self-denial are similar, with only slight differences.  Related terms include resolve, willpower, and determination.
Self-discipline – Training and control of oneself and one’s conduct, usually for personal improvement. Self-control – The ability to exercise restraint or control over one’s feelings, emotions, reactions.
Self-mastery – The ability to take control of your life without being blown off course by feelings, urges, circumstances. In nature, a good example of focus persistence is the beaver.  I have never seen a beaver work, but imagine that they hard at work diligently until the dam is complete. If you are dealing with a project or obstacle that can be overcome in one or two sittings, than you are dealing with a challenge that requires focus persistence.  Without focus persistence, you will find that a project may take days or even weeks when in reality you could finish it in a few hours if you really tried. For example, if you are painting your front room, you could knock it out in a long Saturday if you committed yourself to focus and stick with it.  Projects that you keep putting off at work are often of this variety, where you finish them quickly when you actually have to. With focus persistence, you can “single-handle” projects, finishing them in one sitting.  This saves you tons of time and energy that would have been spent getting back into the project, each time you regained your place and started working on the project again.
When you are dealing with an ongoing or long-term project, you are dealing with a challenge that requires endurance persistence.  Endurance persistence is more compatible with the natural ebbs and flows of life, and can be developed even by those who struggle with self-discipline or who are easily distracted. In nature, ants are the epitome of the endurance persistence.  An ant picks up a minuscule payload, but due to their extraordinary endurance persistence and swarm-live behaviors, they can move large amounts of dirt just by sticking with it. The one drawback, however, to endurance persistence is that it can be terribly inefficient and wasteful at times.  If you have a high degree of endurance persistence, but a low degree of focus persistence, you may find yourself stretching out projects that could be completed in one session into many, many sessions.
The key to developing both types of persistence is learning to avoid distractions, developing will power to muscle your way through obstacles, and hanging tough over time.
Over time, if you can develop both focus and endurance persistence, there will be no limits to the goals you can achieve!
September 15, 2013 by travisnturner 1 Comment Incremental thinking is a valuable tool in building self-discipline and achieving goals. You are used to doing (or not doing) things a certain way, and any variation from what you are used to doing is difficult.  Incremental thinking overcomes this inertia by proposing “baby steps” of change, rather than unrealistic amounts of effort. In contrast, all-or-nothing thinking denies the fact that change is hard.  It falsely presumes that great changes can be made overnight. Why is this?  For one thing, when you first try something, you are usually not very good.  But over time, you get better and better, meaning that your efforts become more effective and thus result in more change (given the same amount of effort).
Second, the more you do something, the more enjoyable it (usually) becomes allowing to keep doing it.
Third, over time you start doing things habitually and thus make a lot of actual effort without spending much mental effort (as you do it on auto-pilot).  This allows you to preserve your will power, which you’ll need as you tackle new challenges and goals. Incremental thinking promotes persistence and resilience.  In contrast, all-or-nothing thinking reduces perspective and encourages quitting. However, if you engage incremental thinking, you’ll have improved perspective and be able to persist in the face of setbacks.  You calmly state, “well, I already lost 7 pounds this month so a little gain is acceptable.
September 1, 2013 by travisnturner 2 Comments Self-discipline and setting goals are closely related. To use an analogy, self-discipline is the process of learning to drive a car.  Goal setting is the process of mapping the destination and the route you will take. Trying to develop self-discipline without setting a goal is like learning to drive in a parking lot. You might learn a few things, but the real learning comes when you take the car out on the road.  In the context of self-discipline, the “road” is the specific goal you choose.
It is important to set your goals carefully.  Setting an inappropriate goal can frustrate you and may actually impede your ability development of self-discipline. For instance, if you are new to running, a good goal might be to run a 5K race in two months.  It would probably be a bad idea to set a goal to run a marathon, especially if don’t have the time to train properly.
People commonly overlook the important role of mental preparation when exercising self-discipline and setting goals.  If you don’t prepare your mind, you are more likely to start before you are ready and quit before you achieve the goal. A written plan is essential to developing self-discipline and achieving your goal.  Your plan should, at minimum, provide detail as to what you are trying to accomplish, the steps and timeframe. If you are not ready to commit to five hours a week of writing, you might decide to set an easier goal of creating a blog instead of an e-book.

When people set goals and exercise self-discipline, they often make them as unpleasant as possible.  Perhaps they think that torturing themselves in achieving goals is somehow a badge of honor. When setting a goal, try to select one that you’d enjoy reaching and working towards.  It is better to accomplish a small goal than to give up on a big one. In addition, it is a good idea to minimize the amount of self-discipline needed to achieve the goal. For instance, you come up with two plans that will help you reach your weight loss goal of losing five pounds in the next thirty days.
In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves… self-discipline with all of them came first ~Harry S. August 1, 2013 by travisnturner 1 Comment The importance of self-discipline cannot be overrated.   The development of self-discipline is essential to learning new skills and becoming successful. Self-discipline also helped this beach perform pull off this awesome trick pictured to the left. Self-discipline is also an important mark of character and maturity. In fact, self-discipline increases happiness and also benefits relationships. Self-discipline is an important ability to develop because it facilities the acquisition of all other skills.
A person with self-discipline has the patience and persistence needed to learn and master new skills.  In contrast, an undisciplined person will give up or cut corners when things inevitable get tough, limiting their ability to develop new skills. Success requires skill, knowledge, hard work, and persistence, which all require self-discipline. And finally, a disciplined couple can work together effectively as parents, enabling them to divide-and-conquer the difficult but important work of raising children.  And where both parents have self-discipline, the children are likely to be disciplined as well. How can a person gain self-assurance, how can we convey assertiveness to children and adolescents?
Yet, in the daily life, we encounter times over unconsciously situations where we may not react as confident. So it can learn to trust itself, try out new things, become independent and relying on itself.
They were better able to control their tempers, and less likely to spend money impulsively.  They didn’t leave their dishes in the sink, didn’t put things off until later, and missed fewer appointments. And if you manage to stick with it by, say, not smoking for a week, give your willpower a rest by indulging in a nice dinner. They’re people who structure their lives so they conserve it.” That way, you’ll be able to stockpile vast reserves for when you really need it, like hauling your lazy butt to the gym. When the truth emerges (that change is hard), those engaged in all-or-nothing thinking quickly give up and stop making effort, and thus, are not able to make the desired change. Self-discipline is the ability to direct your thoughts and actions towards a specific objective.  Goal setting is the process of picking the specific objective that you will work towards.
There’s plenty of movement, but you never know if it’s going to be forward, backwards, or sideways  ~H. Learning new skills like a foreign language or computer skills can be difficult and time-consuming.
For instance, the best grades typically go to hardest working students though not necessarily the most gifted ones.  Success also requires the habit of setting and achieving goals, which requires self-discipline.
Success requires the careful management of limited resources of time, energy, and money.  A disciplined person achieves goals, in part, by their efficient and focused use resources. Therefore, it is paramount that the child or young person has plenty of opportunities to make their own experiences. Persons can accomplish these things by using incremental thinking to develop self-discipline.
In such situation, it would be worthwhile, finding out what we are afraid of and why we seem unable to encounter other people without fear.
Depending on how the child progresses, the opportunities it is presented with, the child will develop strategies to learn, comprehend, inquire and how to respond.
And last but not least, it will execute these skills accordingly to what it has learned so far. Doing everything and literally wrapping the child and even more so, the young person, into cotton wool does not serve their development.

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