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As we grow, we tend to accept the voices of people who are significant to us and which often remain with us throughout our lives.
Daily stressors and challenging life events such as trauma, illness or bereavement can damage our self-esteem if not handled with the experience of proportionality.
However, people with low self-esteem often feel that they need to always say ‘yes’ to every demand – and when this happens, they can become resentful, take on too much and then harbour feelings of anger. Some individuals think that physical attractiveness will guarantee self-esteem and will spend a fortune on cosmetic surgery because they believe that their outward appearance is everything, whereas, in reality, confidence and self-esteem come from inside of ourselves. Driving a 12 litre Ferrari to work might make you feel good about yourself but it is very unlikely to win you promotion in your job.
When you have a healthy self-esteem, you tend to feel positive about yourself and about your life in general. Filed Under: Blog, Self-improvement About Carole SpiersCarole Spiers CEO of leading UK stress management consultancy, Carole Spiers Group, working with equal success both in the UK and the Gulf. Haroon and I believe that, through empowering young people with the value of education and social entrepreneurship, we can make a positive change both for the individuals and for society as a whole and create something for future generations. Low self-esteem affects every aspect of our lives, from our career choices to our relationships, creating a life that leaves us feeling unaccepted and unfulfilled. Overcoming Low Self-Esteem with Mindfulness ePub (Adobe DRM) can be read on any device that can open ePub (Adobe DRM) files.
They are usually based on your life experiences and the messages that you have absorbed about your character and mentality. If you convince yourself that it is safer not to step outside of your comfort zone, then this avoidance technique will become a part of your personal profile.  Every time you avoid something, it will reinforce your underlying doubts and fears about yourself.
One day you might wake up feeling ‘down’ and lacking in self-confidence and the next day feel supremely optimistic. We need to be aware that  although an outward appearance is important, character and integrity come from within and are very easily recognised.
Everyone we meet, at work or in a social context, makes a considered judgement about us after only one minute.
The problems that you face during the day become challenges to overcome – and when you do overcome them, that reinforces your self-image.

She is an international motivational speaker, a weekly business columnist for Gulf News and is regularly called upon by the BBC, national press and media for comment.
When we feel that we are not good enough, we may avoid work and social opportunities and settle for less than we deserve. But self-esteem, is in fact, based in emotion – it is how we feel about ourselves that depicts whether we have good or poor self-esteem.The same goes for our levels of confidence – sure, if we feel we look good then our confidence is up, but it is far more important to believe in yourself and your abilities than merely looking good.
Many crucial experiences that help to form our beliefs about ourselves, frequently occur in childhood and parents, siblings and teachers all have an impact on bolstering our self-esteem. And it is important to remember that comment about us may not necessarily be accurate but may be based on the prejudice of the other party. But it is how you handle both types of experience that will determine who you become and what you will achieve. In this scenario, it is important to practice the art of positive thinking – to always count what you do have, not what you do not. And that is based, not on what car you drive, but on what opinion and what experience you have – and how you are able to communicate that experience to others. Maybe then those nagging little voices from the past will be put to one side and you can move on in your life. Overcoming Low Self-esteem with Mindfulness looks at how mindfulness can help us to wake up from the bad dream of negative thinking and see where our own thoughts, beliefs and reactions have led to poor choices.
Healthy confidence comes from belief in oneself as a good and capable person.So just how do we go about improving our self-esteem and overcoming insecurities?Change what you believe and you will change how you feelWhen you have a specific image of success that you ‘should be’ your mind associates happiness and contentment with that picture.
On the other hand, lack of encouragement from family or friends, or the stress of bullying at school or work, are traumatic events that can all affect our own self-image. The converse of this is that the right word at the right time, especially in our formative years, can make a huge difference to our future confidence and self-esteem. Your own personality plays a vital role here and the love and care of your family can often determine your personality. To one person, a metre high wall will seem to be an impossibly high obstacle to overcome – to someone else, it will appear to be virtually insignificant. With a strong focus on the latest mindfulness studies, this book shows how to clear mental clutter and see the truth of who we are so that we can make healthy choices for ourselves.

So when you compare your self-image with the image of success you begin to judge yourself for not meeting with that image of perfection and begin to feel unworthy and not good enough. Having said that, some of us are naturally more negative than others and set impossibly high standards for ourselves – thereby setting ourselves up to fail. In this warm and well-researched book, Deborah Ward says that when we focus on the present moment and live our own lives according to our own needs and values, we can develop a mindful life that builds our self-esteem and helps us to make loving and fulfilling choices. Take a good look at what sort of images you are comparing yourself to and, perhaps, it’s time to get real about your expectations. In other words, perhaps it is more important to be a reliable and trustworthy partner than to look like a stick insect, sorry, model.
Look at the values and qualities that you believe are important and ascribe those to your image of success – I bet you will find that you meet the standards in more ways than one resulting in better feelings about yourself and increased self-esteem.Practice self-acceptance and realise that all humans are flawedNo matter how hard we try to be perfect, we will always make mistakes and we will always have limitations as well as strengths. Human beings are inherently flawed and constantly striving for perfection is a futile battle.
Practice self-acceptance of your limitations and your mistakes and focus on enhancing your strengths. Insecurities and low self-esteem often arise when we feel ashamed or embarrassed about our flaws.Set realistic and achievable goalsSelf-acceptance does not mean that you have to jettison all attempts at self-improvement. Feeling stagnant, or worse still, failing at meeting the goals we set for ourselves only serve to strengthen self-judgment and lessen self-worth.
It is really important to have goals and desires as these keep you moving forward and improving on yourself and your lifestyle. Achievements in these areas make you feel great about yourself, but be careful that you are not setting unrealistic goals that are not attainable. Make sure that the goals you set for yourself are attainable and realistic, thereby ensuring you achieve them.Practice acceptance of othersBy learning to love those around you, accepting them with their flaws, their failures and their successes, you learn to love yourself as well.
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