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In this one, I want to shift the focus to the other aspect of Radical Self-Empowerment: Radical Self-Forgiveness.
The emotion that drives our need to beat up on ourselves for what we are ashamed of having done or are doing, or didn’t do that we should have done, is guilt. I work with people who have a fairly normal guilt threshold, a reasonably developed conscience, a basic level of ability to make decisions after using the right amount of anticipatory guilt, who would understand the difference between appropriate guilt and inappropriate guilt, and so on. I also deal with perfectionists who are stricken with guilt because everything they do is not as perfect as it should be. In my upcoming Radical Self-Forgiveness workshop, we go into depth on how to apply the formula in any situation where guilt is experienced, but here’s the main principle. Don’t bother asking your ‘human self’ (ego) for forgiveness by going into your mind with it. Once we recognize that what we see and criticize in others is simply a reflection of what we can’t stand in ourselves, it becomes clear that we are being given an opportunity to heal the split within ourselves. Make a list of two people you have disliked and then list each and every quality you saw in them that you found unacceptable. The more what you see ‘out there’ upsets you, the more vital it is that you love and accept it within you.
While looking at the list of qualities you have recognized as being the parts of you that you had previously denied, repressed and projected onto a lot of people, read the following statements out loud, slowly and deliberately, making sure you get the full meaning of the statement. I now see that all these people have been mirroring for me the parts of myself I have made wrong and have judged, denied, repressed and projected onto them. I am now taking back the projections and am now willing to love and accept this part of me. Conversely, I realize that if I continue to judge those parts of myself and resist loving them, they will grow stronger. If the underlying belief about one or more is actually ‘true,’ then my acceptance of it as just being who I am will allow me to transform the energy and use the positive power inherent in that part of me to good purpose.

Having brought my shadow aspects to the light, I realize that my Spiritual Intelligence has facilitated every one of these healing opportunities; and I honor and bless all the people on my list for being willing to be healing angels for me. As non-native speaker I am not sure, how important this part is, to fully grasp all the details of this, or if it changes the spirit of the text, if I would ignore this clause. Establish a rewarding career as a Radical Living Master Coach and help others transform their lives. Can’t Travel?Become a Radical Living Coach in the convenience of your own home with this Online Home Study Program. Receive a weekly inspirational and topical message from Colin Tipping, and, as a bonus, we'll send your own personal copy of "Jill's Story - A Story of Healing Through Radical Forgiveness." Give yourself the gift of Radical Forgiveness. The first one is a big yellow envelope (created with my old paper texture, and blank postage stamp), with red Top Secret stamp.
The secret to that was loving what was being mirrored for you by, in that particular instance, the ‘crazies’ out there creating mayhem around the world. Sociopaths have little ability to feel this emotion, so they have no ability to make good decisions based on an anticipation of appropriate guilt. It’s my secret formula for self forgiveness, if you like, except it’s not so secret really since it is in my Radical Self Forgiveness book, but you may not have a copy on your bookshelf. By taking back all our projections and loving the parts of us we had previously hated, we expand into Love for ourselves and return ourselves to wholeness.
Nevertheless, it is important to list every quality you saw in the two people and didn’t like, even if some of them feel totally unlike you and, at first sight, you feel unable to own them.
It is simply a matter of accepting the principle, “If You Spot It, You Got It.” In other words, if you see it in someone else and it upsets you, then it’s yours.
Resist the temptation to continue judging those qualities as ‘bad’ and criticizing yourself for having them. Share the power and profound benefits of Radical Forgiveness and make Radical Living a way of life for yourself.

However, the good news is there is a formula that really works, and that’s what I want to share with you today.
Then there are those at the other end of the scale who are chronically afflicted with it and feel guilty about everything and anything, even when it has nothing to do with them.
When it comes to handing out forgiveness favors, the big honcho, who will step up to the bar to handle your plea, will always be the Inner Judge, aided and abetted by the Critical Parent.
This is the self that is still connected to the divine and knows who you are and why you are here in human form.
We also expand our Love and gratitude for those who ‘volunteered’ to show up and mirror our shadow for us. They may be highly symbolic of something in your shadow that is hard to identify, or be representative of some other quality that your subconscious mind links to the one listed, but several times removed. Then there are those who tend to worry about what others might think, even when doing what is right for them.
By using the tools associated with the Radical Self-forgiveness method, we bypass the mind automatically and go straight to the Higher Self.
Bear in mind, too that this phenomenon works with groups in exactly the same way as with individuals. However, we have learned over the years that if you try to do it without using the tools, it doesn’t work. Also, just as we said that in order to take the power away from core-negative beliefs, it was essential to love ourselves for having the beliefs, it is every bit as important to love ourselves for having these qualities.
As we saw in Chapter 11, it was highly likely that America went to war with Iraq because Saddam Hussein resonated a huge amount of self-hatred and shame that was in America’s shadow, and he represented the perfect person and country on whom to project it.

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