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19.03.2016
I think we do a huge disservice to our children when we stress self-esteem instead of self-respect.
For more posts on the topic of Children, visit Bridget Chumbley’s place, One Word at a Time. When we understand that before anything else we are sons and daughters of the Living God, it will change the way we look at ourselves. Amen…I think we, as a society, are seeing the consequences of placing so much emphasis on self esteem in recent years.
We are relational creatures and we find our way through our primary relationship with our creator, who loves us dearly. Tremendous teaching…I hope this makes it to every parents email, blog or whatever…just so they see this truth!
Confidence is one of my favorite traits, as I believe lack of confidence and self-esteem is one of the easiest ways to sell ourselves short. So confidence and esteem can be gained by changing our outer reality, by it is most often gained by changing our inner one. The Office of Personal & Career Development guides and inspires Wake Forest students to take charge of their personal and career development from their initial days on campus.
Maintaining a healthy sense of self-esteem is something many people struggle with.  It can be especially hard for Wake Forest students, because they are surrounded by other very talented people who are smart, or artistic, or athletically gifted, or very beautiful, or whose lives seem like they are so easy.


It’s easy to make comparisons – what if your child thinks her roommate is the prettiest girl on campus? There is also a notion I learned when I spent my WFU semester in the Dijon, France program from my French host mother, a psychologist. The fact of the matter is that our students need to be spending a little time and energy on developing in each of these dimensions. Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. An individual with a healthy self-respect “likes” themselves — even when encountering the inevitable failures in life.
If they sold self-esteem in the Sky Mall catalog, it would like like a smiling (but evil) Buddha.
Being the mother of a 11-year-old girl going on 16 or something, I’m dealing with this on a daily basis.
To esteem something is to “hold in high regard.” Self-respect and self-esteem are quite different.
While on the other hand, you raised an excellent point, it’s almost like self-respect is not even part of the equation. When life is lived in fellowship with him, to his glory, all the rest falls into its proper place.


But my Dad has long insisted that Self-esteem is bogus, and I think self-respect got thrown out with it, because us kids got neither. Self-esteem balances precariously upon a comparison with someone who’s always “a little better.” When we esteem someone or something, we face serious trouble if we do not measure up to those standards. Our esteem may ebb and flow, whereas a healthy self-respect (liking ourselves) is always grounded in what we are (and are not) — not in what we can or cannot accomplish. He takes any type of discipline as if they were directed at his spirit and not his actions. Or has parents with significantly more money?  Or has the perfect romantic partner?  Your child might feel much less by comparison. Yes, a good self-respect will help him some, but if he doesn’t (with the help of his counselor) work through these things that are tearing him down, he will have no self-esteem and therefore will have no self-respect.



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