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19.03.2016
No matter who your parents are, there are a few things that you can do to drastically increase the chance of having them say "YES" rather then "NO." Drastically!
Parents love to pretend they are cool and collected, but in reality, they are very predictable. So much so that I guarantee that if you read the tips below, you can improve your life in several ways! Nothing gets you a faster "No" from parents than giving them a feeling that they owe you or that you "deserve" things. So, when you ask for something, use an equal amount of gratitude and an equal amount of asking. The point is not to trick your parents into thinking you care; the point is that appreciation spreads good will, which will certainly come back to you. One thing your parents care about, whether they admit it or not, is how they appear to others.
This request sounds appreciative, responsible and like you're a kid that knows the value of money. The main thing you will need to prove to them is that you're mature enough to deserve that thing you want.
If you show that you want to contribute to the family and don't resent your responsibilities, you will start to be seen in a whole different light -- a more grown-up light. This will give Dad (or Mom) time to consider what you want, and also make you look more mature by showing that you are patient enough to wait a day for the reply.
Setting the stage for any question you want to pop is a key to increasing the odds for "Yes"! Your persistence will most likely not be annoying or be regarded as questioning your parent's authority; It will actually be seen as an adult way of taking responsibility and going after what you want. For more tips, get three chapters of my upcoming book, How to Get Your Parents to Agree with You on Almost Everything, free! A feature in National Geographic‘s October 125th anniversary issue looks at the changing face of America in an article by Lise Funderburg, with portraits of multiracial families by Martin Schoeller, that celebrates the beauty of multiracial diversity and shows the limitations around our current categories when talking about race.
In many ways race is about difference and how those differences are codified through language, categories, boxes, segmentation, and even the implicit sorting that goes on in our heads in terms of the way we label others and even ourselves. Appearance and identity are most certainly linked when it comes to racial categories, but there is another important ingredient in that stew: Experience.
For three years now I have been collecting stories about race and cultural identity on the Race Card Project, and it has provided a window into society like no other I’ve ever experienced in more than three decades of working as a journalist. More amazing is how the exercise, over time, has opened a window for people to share much more than just their six words about who they are and what they are feeling.
The Pew study found that among newlyweds in 2010, 36 percent of Asian women married outside their race, compared with 17 percent of Asian men.
The six-word tales that have poured into the Race Card Project create a portal that allows us to dive beyond the surface into the deeply nuanced issues of racial ambiguity and cultural identity.
There are also those who don various identities based on convenience, advantage, or comfort. Blue-eyed teenagers who grow outsize afros to win easy (or at least easier) acceptance on the basketball court.
Asians with Irish last names who delight at seeing the faces of potential employers when they show up for job interviews. I’ve been in journalism long enough to know that people who are exceedingly happy with their lot in life are less likely to share their stories if given the chance. I think of the six words submitted by Phyllis Kedl, of Minneapolis, who could not be more proud of her multiethnic brood that includes fourteen grandkids, only five of whom are ethnically related to Phyllis and her husband.
If you don’t know what I am talking about, think about the phrase “post-racial,” with its suggestion that we could take some kind of express elevator up to the top floor where the view was great, the air was clear, and no one would make you feel icky or uncomfortable. In any case, Ali Berlinski says she uses prickly humor to talk about her eclectic upbringing. Navigating cultures is something that National Geographic and the Race Card Project have in common, and we want to include you in our journey to better understand the changing face of America. Michele Norris is a host and special correspondent for NPR and the curator of the Race Card Project. What I don’t understand is how someone can cry over what box to tick about their race, get over yourself. I alwas thought for the longest time that I was purely black, as I knew superficially that both my mom and dad were black. I am glade that the census show that blacks are still marrying blacks but interacial marriages is on the rise .Men care less than women when it come to the race mixing it is rising with females to.
As much as I like this piece, and I really do think that it along with The Race Card Project really hit the nail on its head when discussing how nuanced race is, I wish there was more emphasis on ethnic identification and how that in itself is a manifestation of race. I’ve been considered Rwandan (I am currently in Rwandan), Burundian (because I speak French), Congolese (again because I speak French), Ugandan (because I speak English in a non-Anglophone country), Kenyan, even French Guyanese (because I was black), Surinamese (because I spoke English and was black), Guyaneses (because I was a black anglophone), Brazilian, and last but not least Trinidadian. Like I said, I bring this up just to illustrate that it is not only people who are visibily racially ambiguous who feel the identity struggle. I am white meaning Scottish, Irish, German, American Indian…and other things I am sure. Yet, people tend to think I’m Persian, or Lebanese, or Syrian, Middle Eastern in general. Here in the US people are like i am irish, i am cuban, i am jewish, i am strong black woman, i am puerto rican, i am white.


Race; each of the major divisions of mankind, each having distinct physical characteristics.
I hate it when people say mixed is better, when you’re more likely to be fetishized and pushed away by your own culture(s), not to mention you experience racism from more than one race in different ways. A great man, but we should never forget his descendants, one of whom was a successful businessman and did well during the US Civil War – Colonel John Wayles Jefferson. My mother was an award winning Siberian husky, and my father was a flea bitten Labrador mix, I was adopted from a pound to a family who adores my mixes heritage. My paternal grandmother was said to have really dark parents, both of whom were part Jewish and part African.
The New York Times had an article some years back about doctors treating patients and subscribing medication based on race. My nine yrs old son is mix of Turkish ( Georgian, Russian, Turkish) and Italian (Jewish, Portugese, Italian) he has light skin but not fair and getting tanned very easy, has high cheek bones and slightly slant eyes but looks like a one line when he smiles :)) also tall for his age.
I have brown skin, type 4 hair, and was born in America so automatically people will call me African-American though I in no way identify with or hold the same cultural values from any group of people belonging to one of the countries in Africa.
Your parents will allow you to do more, trust you more and be more willing to see life from your perspective. Sure, they are responsible for your well-being and all that, but this is not an exercise in fairness. Two things you can always offer are doing specific chores and getting better grades in specific topics. Saying, "I'll get better grades," is one thing, but it's much better to say, "I'll get better grades in History." You also actually have to mean it and do your part. Adults often feel judged about their parenting skills, and any way you can help them to feel confident as parents is a good thing. Offer to take on small responsibilities and always do what you said you would do and a tiny bit more. There is no room for that on those official census forms, but when a person picks up a writing instrument to choose which box they check, experience most certainly helps guide their hand. Mary’s City, Maryland, wrestled for years with what box to check when confronted with official forms. The submissions that arrive via snail mail, the Internet, and Twitter are often accompanied by comments, essays, pictures, and artwork.
Pew also found that 26 percent of Hispanics married outside their race, compared with 9 percent of whites and 17 percent of blacks.
Identity is not always a concrete concept but rather something that is situational, or shifting, based on time, place, growth, or circumstance.
Erica Shindler Fuller Briggs of North Charleston, South Carolina, is asked the question “What are you?” so often she has started charging people for the answer. In either case she has made her point, prompting those who seek information about her identity to ask themselves a question: Why is it important?
Those who have something to get off their chest are more likely to sidle up to the keyboard. In matters of romance, I have also repeatedly heard the phrase that “the heart perhaps is the last frontier,” with the idea that a rainbow generation would lead us to a promised land where race was at least less prickly than it’s been in the past. We want to see and hear how you identify yourself in terms of culture, race, or even region. Please read the book Working Toward Whiteness – How America’s Immigrants Became White – The Strange Journey from Ellis Island to the Suburbs by David R. Check out the human genome project and genetic research which have scientifically proven that races do not exist.
Also, remember “whiteness,” like “race,” is a human invention created and perpetuated by society.
I want to live and associate with my own tribe and have my children and grandchildren look like me as well as have them be self-sufficient, hard-working individuals that grow up with values and a sense of tradition.
Homo sapien is one species (out of other homo groups now extinct) with varying geographical adaptations and even more cultural (group rules) variations. Despite that, I have more of the filipino features (I can get as tan as my mother, but if I don’t tan im very white, while my sister stays a pretty light shade even if she does tan) And also I have an asian nose.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, our outward physical appearance provides neither a benefit nor disadvantage in nature.
European Jews, Ashkenazi, are first and foremost European or white, so mixing that title in with nationalities and ethnicities is incorrect! Notice how out of all the things I mentioned, no one ever seemed to consider the fact that I could possibly be American. I wrestle with that every day of my life although I consider myself black, but my mixed heritage places me all over our global map. Also, some doctors also zoom in on certain afflictions that might affect black people ,but in the process miss the proper diagnosis. Your parents care about one thing (having to do with you) almost more than anything: Your growing up into a responsible, happy adult. She needs a bone marrow transplant but a shortage of African-American and multiracial donors has kept her waiting for two years, because matches rely on shared ancestry.
But to understand race—and more specifically racial ambiguity—it helps to understand those whose lives are defined by it. And of the more than 30,000 submissions I have archived, a large percentage, in some way, touch upon multiracial experiences—most specifically marriage, parenting, and the questions of identity for the resulting offspring.


At age 42, she’s developed a hard edge around the constant questioning of her identity over time, and for understandable reasons. Our diversity is the marvel of the world and represents one of our greatest strengths as a nation. But for a subject as historically and emotionally fraught as this, I am honored that anyone chooses to share their story and that the Race Card Project has become a forum where people can emote but also absorb a bit of life as lived by someone else.
But I have seen enough other stories come through the site to know that grandchildren have also had a way of melting away generational bias, or even fear of the unknown, and replacing it with love and pride and fierce protectiveness. So my sister usually just goes under the term white, but I usually have to say I’m mixed? The real issue with humans and their prejudices stems from ethnicity – the social traits that bind groups together. America is a country made of immigrants from all over the world, and everyone just wants to know where they fit in!
I love it when people ask me where my family comes from and I go listing off everything I’ve ever learned of my family heritage. Any way you can show them that you are moving in the right direction will help your case endlessly.
To put that in context, one of out of every seven new marriages is among people of different racial backgrounds.
But the six-word stories present a broad mosaic that informs us in these times and will serve as an amazing archive in the future as we try to understand the years when America was steaming toward a majority-minority status. Nina Boyd Krebs, whose book of the same title explores how people form diffuse cultural boundaries in the new Global Frontier. At one point, a shoe store manager assumed she was Hispanic and fussed at her for not knowing her own language. It heralds progress but not without pain for those who live on the knife-edge of multiple cultures. To insist otherwise is to dismiss the observations, views, and experiences of the thousands of people who have shared their stories with me. Differences in these [abstract] concepts can manifest as a simple slur all the way to genocide. What I don’t understand is why people keep referring to me and my children as looking Asian because my eyes are slightly almond shape.
Jewish tribes of Asher and Levi, Russian Jew, Hungarian, Romanian, French, English, Scottish, Irish, Welsh, Norwegian, Choctaw, Cherokee and Iroquois. Us South Africans, should be a united country but still today you get a young generation that judges you because of your race. Believe me -- proud parents' hearts and wallets are much more likely to be open to your requests. His last name speaks of his heritage but it is hard to easily slot him into a single category based on his outward appearance. That will become evident if you spend any time scrolling through the stories that my project, the Race Card, has received.
Do you have siblings who identify themselves in different ways, even though your biracial background is the same? People will find ANY characteristic to divide – when what we should be doing is uniting as the human race that we are all a part of. Combine those with his first wife, my grandmother, and then add more English and Scottish to it with some German and you get me. When he had to fill out those forms, sometimes he would check multiple boxes and let someone else figure out how to handle the confusion.
He grew up around kids of all races, and I had friends of different races, but it wasn’t a deliberate thing. When I was in Greece they thought I was Greek, when in Hawaii they thought Hawaiian, in Mexico they think I’m Mexican.
As Anglo-Saxons migrated from the German Angles and Saxon tribes west to the British Isles. Everyone is made up of the various people their families have married and produced children with over the entire history of this planet. I did learn one thing the stats show even though white men do not marry black a lot but when they do it last the most than any other race they never talk about that race mix ,that when they do it last not so much with black men and white women are divorcing the most Asainsbmix race couples divorce a lot check the stats I did . I have light tan skin (that can get really dark in the summer)long brown hair, brown almond shaped eyes with a slender muscular build.
And unlike my six siblings (Maria, Jude, David, Michelle, and Elizabeth), I have the only identifiably Nigerian name (Oluseyi Segun), which has baffled many, even Americans, when I say that I am American.
I love it because every race is beautiful and I wouldn’t change my melting pot blood for nothing. When the census forms changed, allowing individuals to choose more than one category, David Kung tore into the envelope, checked multiple boxes, and then sat down and cried.




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