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Slideshare uses cookies to improve functionality and performance, and to provide you with relevant advertising. Using The No Contact Rule To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Dear Kurt: My boyfriend and I broke up a while back and I realize now that I really want him back but I don’t know how to get his attention without looking desperate. Using The No Contact Rule To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back ? No Text Messaging ? No Facebook ? No Twitter ? No Phone Calls ? No Messaging Through FriendsI think you get the picture. Clipping is a handy way to collect and organize the most important slides from a presentation. If you take some time to look around the site you will notice that every single article I have written that is based around the no contact rule has hundreds (and sometimes thousands) of comments from women. Psstt… if you are asking that then you probably did break it.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
Anyways, the no contact rule is a relatively simple idea that gets more complex as you peel the layers back. For example, the general premise of the no contact rule states that you are supposed to ignore an ex under any circumstances for 21-90 days straight. As a result, the advice I gave women was slightly flawed because I hadn’t seen enough to formulate an opinion of my own.
You often hear the ex recovery experts out there preach the strictness that goes along with the no contact rule.
There has probably never been a truer phrase that I have muttered in my time on this earth than that phrase above. In all my years doing this the one big epiphany I have had is that every situation I encounter is unique and may require different tactics to succeed. This upsets me because I honestly just want to help everyone who needs it and the thought that I might fail you at times is disheartening. So, I guess I am fighting a losing battle in that sense since this is such a complex process.
Nevertheless, I am all about improving YOUR odds so you can succeed in the end and I intend on searching for answers for the rest of my life if I have to, to improve your odds dramatically.
If you want to persevere with the no contact rule in a situation where it looks like you won’t be able to do it then you have to be willing to adapt. Well, that and the fact that the women who actually listen to my advice always seem to do better in the end. Most women who are faced with these situations fail because they think that utilizing the no contact rule is impossible. So, what I am going to do for you is go through each of these situations one by one and explain the adaptations, alterations and tweaks that I recommend in each situation.
It’s kind of hard to implement a no contact rule when your significant other lives with you.
If he instigates a conversation your job is to be nice but not to linger in a conversation too long. He needs to feel like there is a definite difference between the normal you that he is so used to and the post breakup you.
This is why, when you live with your ex, you need to put on this facade that things aren’t ok. There definitely has to be some type of difference between you before and after the breakup if you live together. So, when it comes to putting things together I am always the first person in line to attempt it. This principle isn’t just true of physical problems like putting together a TV stand. So, the idea behind the no contact rule while living together is to give your ex a problem to solve so you can position him in an area where he is going to be forced to gain your approval to fix the problem.
This is another one of those situations where you can’t really use the no contact rule. Well, before we get to that I think it is important to mention that work and school are two different entities and within those entities are different entities. So, what I would like to do now is take these different entities within entities and explain how the no contact rule has to be altered to fit the needs of each individual entity. In my opinion the differences between high school and college present a big enough difference to warrant a divide.
So, obviously I am going to be talking about the changes you have to make during your period of no contact in each of these cases. The biggest disadvantage that follows high school is the fact that your opportunity to see your ex boyfriend is higher than it would be in college.
Now, an advantage that goes along with the no contact rule in high school is the fact that I haven’t met many high school students who have been able to successfully implement it. You want to be short with him but not mean which is actually a pretty hard thing to accomplish if you think about it because we automatically assume that someone is mad with us if they are short with us.
Anyways, other than the situations where you are forced to communicate with him the no contact rule pretty much remains the same.
Do this for 30 days and then you can begin the process outlined in The No Contact Rule Book.
An ex boyfriend who you have dated through college has probably seen more when it comes to relationships and you have to use this to your advantage.
A man who was in a relationship with a girl who cheated on him is most likely going to be paranoid that his next girlfriend will do the same to him. Since you are in college I am going to assume that you are going to be taking a class together. So, lets say that you walk into class one day and you completely ignore your ex and you start talking to some other guy that sits near you. Again, if he tries to talk to you apply the same rules as above in that you are pleasant but very short.
Also, one thing I forgot to mention above was the fact that the second he gives you an opportunity to exit the conversation you take it. There are a lot of women who visit this site that wonder what they should do with regards to the no contact rule if they work with their ex. I look at this as any type of job that you won’t see your ex five days a week like you would with a career.
Think of a summer job for a kid in high school or just a job on the side to pick up some extra cash. The biggest positive that goes along with a part time job is that the job only requires some of your time so it makes the no contact rule slightly more effective because you won’t have to see your ex all the time. A career is a job that you will be at for many years and it is looked at as a full time job where you will have to see your ex boyfriend a minimum of five days a week. Obviously performing a no contact rule is going to be extremely tough in this situation so you are going to have to adopt a form of limited contact.
In other words, the rules of no contact still apply but since you are going to be forced to talk with your ex (since you see him 5 days a week) you are going to have to figure out exactly how to approach conversations with him.
If you look depressed, angry and sad then your one word answer is going to be taken as negative.
If you look happy, upbeat and bubbly then your one word answer is going to be taken more positive.
Obviously you can’t do the no contact rule if you have to communicate with your ex over the kids. She is living with her parents so she can use the no contact rule in some respects with not contacting and seeing her ex. No, in this case Mary is allowed to break the no contact rule to talk about topics concerning the child. As long as it’s about Jake (the child) Mary can break the no contact rule to communicate. No, any time she breaks her no contact rule it has to strictly be about her child and that’s it. You will find that since you are forced to communicate a bit more with your ex during NC in this situation that the chances of having him bring up the past relationship are slightly more likely.
This site has becomes famous in underground circles and as a result a lot of the ideas I have presented on it have gone viral. When women do this to men it is almost equivalent to having an annoying gnat buzz around your head and no matter how many times you try to swat it away it just keeps on buzzing around. In fact, I don’t think I have ever talked about crazy men text gnatting women who have done the no contact rule on them. So, what happens if you use the no contact rule on an ex boyfriend and he texts you the following series of text messages seven days into NC?
Most experts will have you believe that you should continue your no contact period if this happens. You have to remember that the main reason that you are doing NC in the first place is to get your ex back and if he is begging for you back you have already won! So, do you break no contact right there and then and have the happy reunion that you so desperately want? Your ex boyfriend has to do seven positive gnat messages in one day for you to break NC off early. So, if he sends you five text messages (begging for you back) and calls you twice then that would be considered seven positive actions in one day and you can break NC off early to discuss his terms of reinstatement. Lets say that your ex boyfriend has sent you ten text messages all with one common theme, they are all negative.
If your ex boyfriend tries to send a text message like this to you he is trying to illicit a reaction out of you. So, why would you give your ex boyfriend the pleasure of communicating with you if he has just got done cursing you out? The only time you get to reward him with the proverbial cookie is if he his positive about wanting you back. There are different protocols that have to be put into effect for each of these situations. He has kind of forced your hand here if he calls you up one day and asks for his things back.
It is at this point that you are going to be faced with a pretty tough decision if you are already doing the NC rule. Remember, our goal with the NC rule isn’t to steal his things and make him so mad that he never talks to you again, which you run the risk of doing if you ignore his attempts to exchange things. So, here is the protocol that I want you to put in place if he contacts you during your NC period and wants his things back. If he tries to bring up your past relationship you just use some of the tricks I taught you already with the previous situations. The very first thing you need to determine is how important the things you want back from him are. For example, if its just a silly toothbrush you left over at his place it would be a little ridiculous if you wanted that back when you could just go to the dollar store and get one for a buck.
If you can live without the things that he has then don’t bother breaking NC for them. If you do deem the things important enough then you have my permission to break NC for them. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of.
What are the rules on close friends (who used to get on well with your ex) speaking to your ex during the NC period?
It is a complicate situation as i have two sons and a very horrible relationship with their father.
After the break up we kept being in touch every day for almost a month, we saw each others , slept together and we have been miserable because we kept talking over and over about the same thing.He has always reached me out though, even though he was the one deciding to leave me and instead of not contacting him i have always been there because i was so scared of loosing him.
I am devastated and angry with my self because I have not been strong enough to raise my standards and i have nurtured so far his confusions. I am currently doing NC with my ex, but he send me a message with some information he really needs. Well, I wrote a book that is almost as long as the very first Harry Potter book and it talks about the no contact rule exclusively. IF you can break it…Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? As stated above, it is basically an agreement with yourself that you are going to cut your ex out of your life for a certain period of time.
So, we have already established that in order to do a NC (No Contact Rule) correctly you are going to have essentially cut your ex out of your life for a minimum of 30 days.
You may find that as you embark on this essential 30 day freeze out from your ex that they may try to initiate contact with you.
You didn’t think you were just going to sit around on the couch all day catching up on re-runs of Friends during this time did you?
The smartest thing that you can do during NC is to improve yourself both mentally and physically. Becoming the sexiest version of yourself is only half the battle when it comes to taking a positive step towards getting your ex back. Prepare yourself for the fact that there is no guarantee that you will be getting your ex back. In this section we are going to study some of the major benefits to implementing a NC rule immediately after your breakup.
You might learn after some soul searching that you don’t want to get back with this person again. My ex broke up with me after we had a massive fight and we even had the worst horrible fight right after the breakup. Also, there’s an upcoming fun event, which would be 3 weeks from when he broke up with me, with all of our mutual friends. Also, Since you said its okay to go, and it’d be 3 weeks into NC, this won’t be breaking the NC rule will it? My relationship lasted about two months – we got along extremely well and I developed very strong feelings in that time but he broke up with me prior to his move overseas.
What do I do about snapchat please – if I put things on my story he can see them, and if he sends me things directly do I open them? Lets see quick background summary we went out for over a year and after the break up were back and forth. I’ve started yesterday no contact but I have some unresolved issues in what regards material things like sharing the same cellphone plan. My ex broke up with me about a month ago and blocked or deleted my number then after contacting him via social media begging and pleading he told me he needed some time , 3 days later he contacted me positively I ended the conversation the next day I contacted him and then he ended the conversation now it looks like he’s blocked me or deleted my number? Every single day I get hundreds of comments, emails and Facebook messages on my Facebook Page asking me all kinds of questions about the no contact rule. Of course, time is a great equalizer and pretty soon answering the same questions over and over again began to wear on me. For example, I am guaranteed to answer the following three questions pretty much every single day. One of the most annoying things for me when I write about relationships is that no two relationships are ever alike.
The no contact is not immune to this principle as evidenced by the many different situations that can accompany it. In fact, I often find myself wishing there was some sort of cheat sheet I could point people to so that all their NC questions could be answered in a snap. UNTIL NOW!Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
Hopefully a lot of you who are reading this page are already aware of my E-Book, The No Contact Rule Book.
About a year ago I came to the conclusion that I need to put something together for people who were embarking on the long arduous journey of implementing the no contact rule. So, I put together this monster book (that’s almost as long as Harry Potter) to explain and outline the entire process of the no contact rule. Imagine that you are about to embark on the incredibly hard task of implementing a period of no contact on your ex boyfriend. Now, before we start dissecting these items one by one I feel it is important to mention that I want this particular guide to be completely comprehensive. I want you ladies to be involved in this process so we can create the ultimate cheat sheet for people who have questions about no contact.
In this section I am going to assume that you have no knowledge what-so-ever on what the no contact rule is.
The No Contact Rule- A period of time (which you select) in which you completely ignore your ex in every way imaginable.
Probably what you want to hear is how the no contact rule can help you if you decide to use it. Lets say that your boyfriend broke up with you because you were a little too clingy during your relationship. Now, if you did a good job reading my site you would know that I am a fan of the 30 day no contact rule for most cases (21 days in some cases.) So, you decide that you are going to implement a month long no contact period where you completely ignore your ex by essentially freezing him out of your life. Now, since you were clingy he is probably expecting you to contact him first after the break up. This has been the first time that you have ever ignored him and all of a sudden he begins to see your value.
By ignoring him you are proving to him that you know your own value and that you don’t need him to be happy.
One of the best insights I can give you about men is the fact that we all want to feel needed or wanted. Now that you have a better idea of what the no contact rule is lets take a look at how to handle it during some of the most complicated situations. When you are with someone for a long time it is normal for the two of you to swap items here and there.
For example, lets say that your boyfriend has an apartment and you still live at home with your parents (no judgement here.) Lets also say that you dated your boyfriend for well over a year. The question on the table right now is how do you approach this situation if you are in the middle of a no contact rule. In my mind there are really two different approaches on how to handle this and it all depends on what situation you find yourself in. Well, is it him asking for his things back or is it you that wants your things back from him? In a perfect world you would have left items with him that you wouldn’t have really cared about. Remember, a perfect no contact is one where you don’t have to break your silence for anything.
Lets say that the items you left with your ex mean a lot to you and you absolutely need them back. Lets talk a little about how you should approach seeing him in person when you do go to get your things.
Don’t let him know that anything is wrong with you or that you are even hurt about the breakup. Because it’s going to make him realize that being without you is not a very good feeling. If your ex boyfriend calls you up one day and asks you if he can have his things back during the no contact rule this kind of paints you in a corner where you are going to have to break the no contact rule to give him his things back. Well, with the situation above you had the privilege of choosing whether or not your things were important enough to take back. The no contact rule pretty much hinges on the fact that you are supposed to completely freeze out your ex for a certain amount of time. When I first wrote about the no contact rule I didn’t really think that much about the many different situations that you could encounter if you were to do something like this.
Of course, it wasn’t until I started getting comments that I started to realize that for many people the no contact rule can be quite challenging. I mean, what if you are going to school and you have a bunch of classes with your ex so you are forced to see him? As a general rule of thumb I would just say that you should assume that any man you meet is the most shallow person ever.
Well, you are going to be seeing your ex on a daily basis if you work with him so you really have two choices on how to approach the situation. Now, just using your common sense what do you think most men are going to find more attractive? If you feel you could lose a few pounds then get your butt to the gym and lose those pounds. I want your ex to be unbelievably attracted to you every single time he sees you in person.
Because if you can get him to think of you like that AND you are using the NC rule on him he is going to want you even more and that puts the ball in your court. The no contact rule strictly states that you can in no way have any contact with your ex boyfriend during the time period you have implemented the rule. I mean, you and your ex were employed to do a job and that job was to help your company make money.
Well, in the case where you are forced to interact with your ex for work I want you to keep things strictly business. Lets say that you do an amazing job of keeping things strictly about your work but unfortunately your ex starts engaging you on more general topics.
This is another one of those topics that I really didn’t think much about when I wrote about the no contact rule initially.
Of course, the ladies visiting this site were quick to point out the issue with this and no contact. Ok, now that we have the pleasantries out of the way lets take a look at how you should approach the no contact rule if you have a child with your boyfriend. Lets say that you have a child with your ex boyfriend and you have decided to use NC on him. Now all of a sudden you are having this debate in your head on whether or not you should break no contact so you can tell your ex when he can see his son next.
The only time you can break the no contact rule in the case where you have a child with your ex is if you have to communicate with your ex about that child. Going through a break up when you live with your boyfriend has to be one of the most disheartening feelings ever. I mean, one moment everything in your relationship is going great and the next you feel like an outsider in your own home. So, the question on the table right now is how are you supposed to approach no contact if you find yourself in a position where you have to live with your boyfriend?
Lets take a moment and talk about some of the changes you are going to have to make if you live with your ex boyfriend. Now, if he is a gentlemen he would probably opt to sleep on the couch without starting any type of fight over who is going to sleep where.
Of course, most men out there aren’t gentlemen and will opt to get into a massive argument on who will sleep where rather than just taking the hit and sleeping on the couch themselves. You are going to be tempted to feel sorry for yourself, sulk throughout the house, sit in a corner and cry or even cry so hard that you can’t even function.
When you live with someone then that means that you are most likely going to have to talk to them at one point. This causes a bit of a problem with the no contact rule which strictly forbids contact with your ex in anyway shape or form.
While you can still abide by the rules of not responding or sending texts, phone calls, facebooks or skypes to your ex the face to face contact bit may be a little hard to get around since you will probably see this person a lot until you get a new living situation figured out. So, the question on the table is how do you approach a situation where you are forced to interact with your ex boyfriend face to face. As a general rule I have always said that it is best to act like a respectful roommate would act.
In other words, don’t be rude or mean to your ex just give him very casual answers to the questions he asks. If he throws a hissy fit because you won’t engage him on this topic you simply remove yourself from the situation.
So, I guess what most of you ladies are wondering is if it is ok for you to break a no contact rule (that you have already committed to completing) just to wish your ex a happy birthday. Hmm… how can I get this through your head so that you understand once in for all if you can break NC just to wish your ex a happy birthday or whatever holiday is coming up. There is one main reason why I think it’s dumb to wish your ex boyfriend a happy birthday or holiday during NC.
In other words, wishing your ex boyfriend a happy birthday isn’t really going to help you in what you really want to have happen, him taking you back. Hi i recently left my ex, basically i found out he was texting a girl behind my back that he slept with when we was on a break. What if my ex bf still don’t contact me after the 30 days or more of no contact rulr what should i do? Two weeks ago, he had minor surgery, during the first week, he texted me all day, all the days. OK, I try again to make it shorter, since I see other posts with yesterday’s date being answered and mine still waiting for moderation. 3) I don’t know if we (he) broke up, i got a (possibly) drunken mail threatening with break up under certain conditions. 6) When that turn happened half a year ago, I gradually lost my free spirit and became a creepy, clingy, nagging girlfriend.
He tried to contact me on every possible channel on the first day (or rather day zero, within hours after his mail and text). And we have a lot of friends and acquaintances in common, should I avoid them when he is not with them?
Ever since the creation of this site there has been one strategy that it has been associated with it above all others. You know, that pesky little rule that forces you to ignore your ex boyfriend on purpose for a certain amount of time with the hope that he will miss you and you can be that much further along with your plans to win him back.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? I must admit that while I get a lot of association with the no contact rule I am not the one who initially came up with the idea but if I ever do meet the person who came up with it I would shake their hand.
Because I have seen the power of the no contact rule (if it is implemented correctly) firsthand and it is POWERFUL!
And these are just a small handful of the women who have gotten back in touch with me after they got their exes back (using NC.) I literally have HUNDREDS of stories just like this saved to my iMac. Anyways, I don’t think there is any doubt about the fact that the no contact rule does work when it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back.
When it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back you always need to have a contingency plan. This page is going to be very long because I am going to be tackling things in an in-depth manner (like always) but at the same time I am going to make sure that this page is going to be very easy to digest because what we are talking about here is very advanced stuff. That means that if your ex boyfriend were to call you, text you, Facebook message you or contact you in any other way, shape or form you would flat out ignore him. Now that you have a brief idea of what the no contact rule is lets move on to talking about how we measure a failed no contact period. Now, maybe old age is starting to catch up to me (which at 25 would be kind of pathetic) but I can’t think of anything outside of those two reasons.
Luckily, the two reasons I gave above are all we need to really have an in-depth discussion. Pretty much the whole reason women get excited about the no contact rule is the fact that it has the power to potentially make their ex boyfriends miss them so much that they will want to come back to them on the spot once the period of time is up. While it almost never works out that way (NEWFLASH you have to do more than just no contact to win your ex back) it can be very saddening when you don’t even receive a response from your ex after no contact. Most women are under the impression that if their ex boyfriends do not message them during the no contact rule it means that NC is not working. Because, in order for you to even have a chance to win your ex boyfriend back you have to communicate with him.
That is the situation you are in if your ex boyfriend doesn’t contact you after the no contact rule is complete. I recently went through the comments here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery and compiled a list of the first 20 women I could find who implemented the no contact rule on their exes.
That means that 17 out of 20 women had successful no contact periods while the other 3 women didn’t. This means that there is an 85% chance that you will have a successful no contact rule in which your ex boyfriend gets back in touch with you. I gave you ironclad instructions to NOT contact your ex under any circumstances (except the ones here) and you disobeyed my orders. A woman breaking no contact early because she either misses her ex or he calls her during the no contact rule is without a doubt the most common mistake I see on Ex Boyfriend Recovery. Of course, after further investigation I find out that she really didn’t do the no contact rule right as she broke it 3 days in after he messaged her on Facebook and she would sporadically break the no contact rule throughout the 30 days. You see, this woman was under the impression that the no contact rule meant that she could respond to him only if he contacted her first. Notice how the NC period starts on the left of the line and then as time goes by it ends on the right of the line. Because, instead of giving your ex boyfriend time to reminisce and miss you, you are signifying to him with your actions (of interrupting NC) that you are still into him and as a result he isn’t going to respond the way you want him to after the no contact rule. The point I am trying to get at here is you have to be disciplined when it comes to the no contact rule.
Of course, I created this page for women who are in a worst case scenario situation in which the no contact rule doesn’t work. So, lets move on to the exciting part of this article, figuring out what to do if things aren’t going your way after the no contact rule.
Lets assume that you are in a worst case scenario where your no contact rule has just failed. Then at day 31 (the day after day 30) you send a text message to your ex boyfriend and he doesn’t respond. Luckily for you I have come up with 5 strategies on how to approach a failed no contact rule. If you go back and read my original thoughts that I had on the no contact rule years ago here what do I recommend that you do if you mess it up?
Mess It Up= breaking it prematurely by messaging your ex boyfriend in any way shape or form outside of the allowed instances. It means that if you determined that you were going to use a 30 day no contact rule and on day 12 you broke that no contact rule then you have to restart the 30 days from that point on. We are assuming a worst case scenario so that means that no only did you break the no contact rule (and not start over from square one) but you also reached out to your ex boyfriend AFTER no contact was over and he ignored you. Rather than taking a step back and re-evaluating the situation they continue to text their ex or call him. This comes off as desperate and will have the opposite effect of what we are trying to accomplish here.
So, what I have been recommending to women lately (with great success) is a staggered approach to the no contact rule.


Lets say that you have contacted your ex boyfriend after your failed no contact rule and he has ignored you. Well, rather than messaging him again the next day I would say jump back into no contact for a week and try again.
If you fail at getting his attention again after a week then go back into no contact for 2 weeks. Well, lets imagine that you have completed the no contact rule and not gotten a response from your ex. Simple, you are going to continued the staggered approach and go back into the no contact rule for three weeks. Initially I talk about how I recommend a 30 day no contact rule for women who are trying to get their ex boyfriends back.
Now, I am not some sort of math wiz but by my count if you reach weeks using this approach 6 weeks will have already passed. In that case (and only in that case) it may be time to admit defeat and focus your energies in recovering from the relationship.
Well, breaking the sacred bond of no contact like this pretty much defeats the entire purpose.
The Purpose- To use silence to make your ex boyfriend realize what he is missing out on and to kick start his feelings for you. So, rather than trying a staggered approach to the no contact rule (which is heavily focused on trying to get your ex boyfriend to respond to you) the prolonged approach is geared towards making him miss you.
While it is true that there are no contact rules that can be extended for up to 90 days I am not a fan of those type of prolonged periods. I have found that there is a correlation between moving on and a super prolonged period of no contact. 45 days is a perfect prolonged period because it gives your ex boyfriend time to miss you and at the same time not enough time has gone by for him to lose feelings in you yet. Know that I have a very specific way that I like to teach women to reach out to their ex boyfriends after no contact. Look, I understand the temptation of not sending a good first contact text message after ignoring your ex boyfriend.
However, you have to keep in mind that if you used the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend you just ignored him (on purpose) for hopefully 30 days. So, what I would like to do now is teach you my method for getting in touch with an ex boyfriend after the no contact rule. This is a small little screenshot of one tiny aspect of a redesign that Ex Boyfriend Recovery is going through. This is the kind of effect your first contact text message needs to have on your ex boyfriend. He will see it and be so intrigued by it that he will have to respond to your text message just to find out what you are going on about. If we dated in the past and you texted this to me after ignoring me for 30 days I would respond to it. I am intrigued by the fact that you ignored me for that long and are reaching out to me for the first time. I can’t tell you how many times I have stumbled across a situation just like the one described above through this site. Men have this funny tendency to come back into the picture after women have moved on already.
Well, I don’t have exact statistics on this or anything but what I do have is a theory. Well, instead of tinkering with the no contact rule what if you took the exact opposite approach and moved on without moving on. Move on without moving on is an idea I came up with that basically leverages my theory above.
Now, before I move on to our final strategy I will admit that this particular strategy is a bit riskier than the others. Hi hope this reaches you, I can’t find a situation like mine basically am pregnant (planned pregnancy witch we both planned) anyway before I found out we had a small fall out witch ended in us braking up and with in a day he was dating someone else. After some thought I decided to make this episode solely about the no contact rule because Christina is just starting hers and I would like to explain the immense benefits to starting a no contact period. This one is pretty obvious.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes?
I get into this idea that really getting your ex boyfriend back is a function of his emotional state. So, internally you have to be prepared with the possibility that things may not work out for you.
The idea is that you gain enough capital that you can move on without moving on and we all know what happens then. She probably went to my website, read the tactics that help get an ex-boyfriend back and decided that the no contact rule was the way to go.
This episode is going to be structured differently because Christina didn’t give me a question with a lot of substance where I could dive into her situation. When you go through a breakup, it’s probably one of the most stressful times that you will go through in life. One of the benefits of the no contact rule is that it allows you to ease things down a bit. The no contact rule allows time to go by so that your ex-boyfriend can get into a not-so-highly negative emotional state. This is the common mistake that many women make when they beg for their ex-boyfriends back immediately after the breakup. In order for him to get into that highly emotional positive state, he needs to level out first. Benefit number one of how the no contact rule helps you get your ex back is that it helps ease things down a bit.
Another reason that I like the no contact rule is that I compare it to hitting the reset button on a video game.
This is something that I’ve learned over years of experience, through watching women implement the no contact rule. Then, on day 10, he contacts you and says, “I miss you.” At this point, he has given you three positive actions, telling you that the no contact rule is working here.
There is also a wrinkle in here that you can use to get the no contact rule down to three days. You would possibly punish, but you would continue to do what you’re doing, which is not to reward this person. In the unlikely event that it does not help you get your ex back, I also want you to work to build emotional confidence capital during the no contact rule.
If you’re doing things to heal yourself during the no contact rule, you are doing two things at once. I’ve had people come to me after the no contact rule and say, “I am so grateful that I found your website and your advice. It’s constantly there, checking your work, making sure you’re on point, that you have the right rules and what to do in every single situation.
If you are interested right now and want a step-by-step game plan on how to get your ex-boyfriend back, please go to the show notes of this episode and I will have information for you on how to get my book. I left a message on your podcast yesterday, but I am not sure how I will know you have responded to it. Okay Chris, I have been going for a week strong on the NC rule and so far, I have not had an urge to give in. Yeah i did nc rule but i broke my nc rule on 26 day bcoz of his birthday was on 30 day of nc rule.
Hi chirs its been over two weeks since the nc and I haven’t heard anything from him yet. My boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago and I have strictly enforced the no contact rule until about 10 minutes ago.
Btw, I just realized that I made it seem like I broke the NC rule, but in truth he broke it first and I just replied. See we had plans right after we broke up, but I asked for a rain check since I needed time.
I wonder what’s the purpose of no contact if after passing 30 days im the one who will be pushing after a serious commitment!
Isn’t that go against the fact that men shud pursue u and eventually they will if they rly deeply want to? Hi Chris (: I’m about 2 weeks into my no contact period, and my ex has texted me three times! I just wanted to say first of all that reading everything on your site has helped me through this difficult time I’m going through. Does no contact work when your ex is friend zoning you and you’re pregnant (6 months in my case) with his child? This website has a lot of information about the no contact rule since it is an essential stepping stone to getting your ex boyfriend back. Well, the same can be said about the no contact rule as there are parts of it that can be very complicated. No Contact– A rule stating that you are not allow to call, text or get in touch with your ex boyfriend for a certain period of time. And yet, that simple idea turns out to be one of the hardest things to successfully complete when it comes to the ex recovery process. What does it mean if your ex boyfriend doesn’t contact you during the no contact period?
You know what really sucks?Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? When you ignore someone with the intent of making them want to talk to you more and instead they don’t talk to you at all.
Essentially what I am going to be doing here is bridging the gap between you and your ex boyfriend.
I promise that I am going to do everything in my power to make that a reality for you and I want YOU to hold me accountable to it. I have already defined what the no contact rule is in the opening paragraph of this guide but I haven’t really talked about what the purpose of it is. Seriously, when you sit back at the end of the day having completed a no contact rule what is it that you are aiming to have accomplished? When you were a small baby and they neglected you for even a few seconds what did you do to get their attention? The point I am trying to make here is that silence is very powerful and the no contact rule uses silence to it’s advantage. However, the no contact rule also uses something else as equally powerful as silence to it’s advantage, the power of ignoring.
Speaking from personal experience I can tell you that any time a girl I really like ignores me it bugs me on a deep level.
The no contact rule is meant to tap into that loss and cause an ex boyfriend to contact you but is that the true purpose of the no contact rule? Does your ex boyfriend even need to contact you during NC for you to be able to get him back?
Well, if you take a look at the true purpose of no contact (to make him feel like he misses you) you can’t really tell if he misses you or not if he never contacts you.
First though, I would like to take the spotlight off of him for a while and talk about YOU.
You see, every day when I wake up one of the first things I do is answer as many comments on this site as possible.
Too often do I run into someone who completely misunderstands the purpose of the no contact rule. You see, a large portion of women who visit this site are under the impression that all they have to do to get their ex back is the no contact rule.
While I am certainly annoyed to get responses like that I do have to take some of the responsibility. This is me taking responsibility for not explaining the no contact rule as thoroughly as I should have. While it is entirely possible that those three outcomes can occur it is also possible that all three may not occur. Then you are going to be extremely disappointed and depressed if stuff like this doesn’t happen at all. I guess the main point I am trying to make here is that if you manage your expectations you will be much better off.
It is a well known fact that I have talked to over 24,000 women through this site and let me tell you that when you talk to that many people you start to learn a thing or two. Lets switch gears for a minute here and talk about why your ex boyfriend wouldn’t contact you during this delicate time that we like to call the no contact period.
There are a lot of different reasons for why an ex boyfriend would refuse to contact you during the no contact period.
Lets start out with probably the most likely reason that he may not contact you during no contact, his stubborn nature. As I teach in my No Contact Rule Book, some men are extremely stubborn and will refuse to be the one that reaches out first during the no contact period. These are generally the type of men that absolutely love hearing compliments about themselves in relationships. Some men are just wired this way and it is really unfortunate because with these men it will usually be you that has to take the first step.
Lets say that you are doing the no contact rule and you happen to run into a stubborn guy who won’t contact you at all. If you are an avid reader of this site then you have probably come across my massive 10,000 word guide on how to get your ex boyfriend back. In other words, in that massive guide I actually recommend that you are the first one to make contact with your ex after the no contact period. I think too many women are conditioned by society to think that making the first move on a guy is wrong. Sometimes it really pays to be the first one making the move on your ex because not only can you control things a little bit better it is always kind of nice when a guy feels wanted.
One of the most overlooked factors when it comes to the no contact rule is how the actual breakup will affect your boyfriend. This is something I have talked about numerous times throughout this site so it only makes sense that I talk about it again here.
This victimized role he is going to place himself in is going to cause him to want revenge on you in some way shape or form.
We have also discussed how it is possible that just the act of breaking up can cause a guy to paint himself as the victim. You have embarked on the no contact rule and you are feeling pretty darn good about yourself.
You can always expect a little bit of stubbornness to be involved when it comes to someone using silence as revenge. I know that was an incredibly weird picture for me to paint right now but the point I am trying to make here is that your ex boyfriend knows that deep down HIS silence will hurt you and it’s his only way of getting back at you without actually seeming crazy. This may spark an interesting debate though because if an ex boyfriend is using his own silence to hurt you does it mean that he would ever consider a reconciliation? While it is always important to find that delicate balance between logic and emotions it is also important to remember that the mere fact that your ex is trying to get back at you through the use of his silence means he is feeling emotions.
While those emotions may be negative they are still emotions and if you play your cards right you can turn them in your favor. A few months ago I got a message from a woman whose ex hadn’t contacted her during her no contact period.
I would like to take a look at what could possibly be going on in his mind if he takes a really long time to contact you. Well, lets assume that you are embarking on a 30 day no contact rule and lets say that after 21 days your ex boyfriend hasn’t gotten in touch with you.
Well, one thing that you can automatically assume is that a guy who doesn’t contact you during the no contact period always has a bit of stubbornness to him.
That battle between the pride and the heart is what your ex could be going through if he is experiencing what we are talking about here. Towards the beginning of this guide I went on this whole rant about how the no contact rule can still be working even if your ex doesn’t contact you. Originally, I thought it would be fun to write a massive 10,000 word article on how to get your ex boyfriend back and see what happened.
Men are expected to make the first move, pay for dates, text first, etc, etc (you get the idea.) Thus, many women feel almost entitled when it comes to men talking to them. What’s interesting is that I have had multiple women contact me here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery wondering if they should contact their ex after the no contact. Since this guide is specifically focusing on men who haven’t contacted you during NC lets use that as an example. So, we have a guy who hasn’t contacted you at all during your 30 day no contact period.
Remember, your main goal here is to get your ex back and in order to do that communication is key. Besides, sometimes you will have to message your ex first and earn the right back to get him to message you. I and my boyfriend(Ex now ) broke up about three days ago.we had two rough months, fighting every other day. Does the fact that i told him to not to contact me on the day of our break up violates the no contact rule?
What should one do if their ex who broke up with them tells them they don’t want them to reach out?
It wasn’t a fight that broke us up and I wish it was because maybe this would be easier.
The 30 days are al,out over, he didn’t contact me, though he promised me to be able to speak in a normal way to me, if I would wanted to. Now I would like to get my money and give him his stuff back, also I would like to show him how good I’m feeling.
Do you know if there is any study’s or scientifically articles I could read about this whole topic? Hey I have been going through the site quite often but my situation is a bit different .I liked this girl and we were in a realtionship. It’s already been three months AMOR and how will I know that she is willing to be with me again? Find out more at our About Us page, send us a message on our Contact Us page and like our Facebook page! You need to cut all communication with him or else he’ll never startto miss you.Does It Work?Hell yeah this works! So, what happens when you are faced with a situation where you can’t do the no contact rule? With college you are often running from building to building taking different classes and with high school, while you may be taking different classes, you may be in the same building a lot of the time. If he tracks you down or if you are forced to talk to him make sure you aren’t rude to him. If she talks about the weather, the amazing game last night or something that reminded her of Mike then that is considered a breach of the no contact rule and you will incur the wrath of me.
So, the protocol that is in place here has to do with how important the items you want back are. Before we split he borrowed me his cellphone, he didn’t use it anymore, but he texted me that his phone broke and now he has to use it again but in order to reset it he needs some of my accounts details.
So if you want a much clearer picture of how this all works I recommend you check that out. Remember, your goal with a no contact period is not to become a jerk so there is no reason to use it that way.
However, if you know for a fact that your ex became less attracted to you over the course of your relationship you can work to change that. In fact, you could make the argument that the mental side of things during the no contact period is even more important than the physical side.
Hopefully this section will make you realize the true importance of not talking to your ex for 30 days.
The no contact rule isn’t just a psychological tactic to getting your ex back it is also a way to ensure that you have time to properly heal. I am sure you have met one of these types of couples that break up every few months only to get back together again after a few weeks. We had a huge fight where i was drunk and i left his place at midnight and walked home i said i was never coming back. I meant to say that we’ve been broken up for a month already, but we were still talking and calling each other for the past few weeks. Amor believed my long term boyfriend left me because of GIGS, which I can confirm because he is now in a relationship with his best friend. When we’re all together, should I be friendly happy and confident but then cold and distant to him? Prior to the breakup, he became noticeably distant, much of which I attribute to him mentally transitioning to his new life in a new country. I hung up the phone and texted him some questions, he replied and said that he did not want to talk to me anymore.
It used to be one of the things we used lots (Long Distance) and until a week ago when I asked him to stop taking snapshots of pictures of me (!) we still used it quite a lot. He graduated college a year ago and has been working, while I’m still in school where we met.
Then I finally gave up on him and then we tried being friends but I gave up on that also due to why and feelings.
Now, when I first started this site I didn’t mind answering the same questions over and over again because for me it was mind blowing that so many people wanted advice from me. However, if you aren’t then I would like to take a small moment to let you in on what it is. You understand the basic principle of no contact but midway through your no contact a situation arises and you don’t know how to handle it. So, if you can think of any other situations (that can occur during the no contact period) then make me aware of them in the comments section and I will update this page to answer them. So, since you don’t know what the no contact rule is I am going to give you a quick crash course. Obviously after the break up you are very heartbroken and you take to the internet to find a way to get your ex back. Well, sometime throughout that year I am assuming that you stayed over his place for the night or left some of your things there.
So, exchanging items after a break up is a very common situation you could find yourself in if you are in the middle of the no contact rule. Well, in this case I think we can make an exception and break the no contact rule so you can get them back.
If he tries to talk to you about your relationship with him don’t engage him with it at all.
In other words, he is basically saying that even if he met a girl with the best personality in history he still wouldn’t date her if he found her unattractive. Of course, this is kind of thrown out the window if you work with your ex since you will be forced to either see or interact with him on a daily basis. In other words, the only type of interaction you should have with him should be about work. Before you read on I want to make you aware that I have written multiple guides specifically covering what you should be doing to get your ex boyfriend back if you do have a child with him here and here.
I mean, he still does have a right to see his son since he has been a very good father to him. Well, when you have a child with your ex you have to keep things strictly about that child.
If you feel your ex boyfriend is like this don’t even engage in an argument with him.
In fact, a part of you may hope that your ex feels so sorry for yourself that he rushes over to your side and tries to make you feel better. He is probably expecting you to sulk around the house, sit in a corner, cry and do everything in your power to try to get his attention. So, somehow having a man think that he didn’t mean as much to you as he thought he did is going to make you more attractive in his eyes because deep down he wants to be the most important person in your life. You want to respond to all of his questions in a very upbeat manner without going into a lot of detail. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES CAN YOU BREAK THE NO CONTACT RULE TO WISH YOUR EX A HAPPY BIRTHDAY OR A HAPPY HOLIDAY. We just started NC, but theres one glaring issue: we are both part of the same super close friend group. And what if he’s also waiting me to contact him first since i was the reason why he brokes me.
With his depression I became depressed too, I’m like a shadow of myself now, thinner and thinner, the world loosing colours etc. First tried to call a few times, then a text (and it was his first text, perhaps this was the first thing he did when he opened his eyes after that night) about being sorry for texting me in the middle of the night. If you add an additional 4 from the four weeks you have ahead of you that means that 10 weeks will have gone by and you will have given your ex boyfriend plenty of opportunities to respond to your attempts to reach out. That means that in a perfect world you will be ignoring your ex boyfriend for 30 days straight.
This needy persona is the exact opposite of what drew your ex boyfriend to you in the first place. Anyway he wanted something to do with baby witch you would expect but after a arugument with his ex (mother of his first child not the new girlfriend) he decided he didn’t want anything to do with the baby we are having! The truth is that I never wanted to let anyone in on it so it wouldn’t mess up with it happening naturally but I have decided to scrap that and just let you in on it.
He will be a lot easier to get back if he is in a happy emotional state as opposed to a negative one. So, the no contact rule allows you time to focus on yourself and do things that will enrich your life. Today we’re going to be talking about the no contact rule and the importance of it when it comes to trying to get your ex-boyfriend, husband or lover back. The reason I love the no contact rule so much is that it gives you a two-pronged approach to your love life. Nevertheless, I’m going to try to make the no contact rule a little bit more clear with what it tries to accomplish. Ironically, building emotional capital is what I’m more eager to talk about, but we’ll start with how it helps you get your ex-boyfriend back. I don’t think human emotions work where they, all of a sudden one day, go from a highly emotional negative state to a highly emotional positive state, unless you won the lottery. If you successfully do the no contact rule, you don’t mess up and you don’t contact your ex during that time, it can really work in your favor.
It’s going to be easier to start over from a place that’s not equal to you both yelling at each other.
If he creates three positive actions in the 30 days, you can move that from 30 days to 21 days. You are helping get your ex-boyfriend back and you are also preparing yourself in a positive way if you don’t.
The other 50% what to say, what to do, how to work a situation, how to properly text, what to expect when texting, how to set up a date and what to do on a date. I will give you a link to the page that explains what the book is about and the results that it has had. My bf broke up with me and we have been on the NC period for 2 days now and HE just texted me: “how are you?”. Me and my bf are in a realtionshp since 8 years 1month ago he tld me that i love sume1 else and is committed with her. His best friend told me a couple days ago that he told her that he just wants to be alone and to find his own happiness and that i should start dating other people. Our schedules just do not work with eachother and I know that you require and desire more attention than I am currently able to give you… i wish we could still be friends (not friends with benefits) I truly do love spending time with you but my schedule make it really difficult. You are going to have to influence him enough so he will want to expedite that process though.
Well, today we are going to be tackling one of the most asked questions when it comes to the no contact rule.
This guide is going to be looking at that situation specifically and breaking it down from your side and your ex boyfriends side. If you think I slacked off when writing this then just let me know in the comments and I will be sure to correct the problems that you see. The point I am trying to make here is that the more attached you are to someone the greater the chances that them ignoring you will affect you.
I suppose I could have done a better job of explaining the complexities of how this is all supposed to play out. It can be entirely possible that the no contact rule was working you just have no idea because he has an amazing poker face.
I have seen a lot of people with that attitude fail but I have also seen a lot of people with that attitude succeed.
In other words, they get addicted to the compliments and admiration they get in a relationship and they convince themselves that the girl has to do all the work.
You go in thinking that he is a shoe in to message you throughout the period but it doesn’t happen at all.
Yes, there are time where you have to view it as a game (the talking phase, getting your ex back, etc.) However, when it comes time to actually build or grow your relationship communication is going to be required. You are always going to have to be the one to take the first step and press the action when it comes to communicating. Does this mean that you are going to have to be the one to press the action after the NC rule is completed? It just means that with some guys you are going to have to be the one to make the first step. While I would tend to agree with that you are in a very unique situation here in that we are talking about your ex boyfriend. Remember, the guy who is stubborn may want more than anything for you to contact him but he just can’t get out of his own way sometimes. It could be entirely possible that your ex boyfriend has gone through the following progression. Granted, if you cheated on your guy then he is the victim but even in cases where there was no cheating the sheer fact that he had to break up with you is going to make him feel like the victim. If a guy has broken up with you the emotions he is going to experience after the breakup may cause him to feel like he was the victim.


You have managed your expectations about him reaching out during NC but you are a human being after all and you can’t help but wonder why he has been silent on his end for 10 days straight.
You have been in the no contact period for about 10 days but he hasn’t contacted you. If he does happen to get in touch with you from anywhere between 21-30 days then I would consider that to be a pretty long time for an ex boyfriend to not respond to you. However, if he does end up biting the bullet and contacting you in that 21-30 day window that means there is a serious internal battle going on within him. Well, obviously Ex Boyfriend Recovery took off after that but if you go back and revisit the first official guide I wrote for this site you are going to learn a few interesting things. While I have definitely made some major changes in my philosophy on exes since then (it was inevitable that I evolve with the site) pretty much the basic game plan for getting an ex back is the same.
They literally asked me what I thought and when I told them that I thought it would be ok they decided against it because of that sense of entitlement. Your NC time period has just concluded and you are debating on whether or not you should contact him via a text message. Well, if the two of you just have this never ending no contact battle with one another then nothing is going to happen that could help you two reunite. You get to control when the conversation is started and assuming you play your cards right when it will end. There were in-numerous unpleasant fights where hurtful words were exchanged back and forth.
So i felt that he actually didn’t want to let go of me though he told me off whenever he was angry. A part of me feels glad to be out of that relationship because i was going through a lot for the past month but the other part of me wants him to come around.i want him to miss me and come back to me.
It will actually help for you to focus more on yourself and for him to have a break and miss you..
My boyfriend and I had a great relationship, but when his father became sick he had to move interstate to live with him and look after him.
Most women would hold on as long as they love a guy, but the great beauty about it is when she finally gets over with her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, there is no going back. She would also like to use the no contact rule on Mike but she isn’t sure on how to approach it when she has to communicate with him over their child.
It caused us to argue a lot because we had different opinions on what was happening and he started saying that I was changing and i wasn’t the same person i was and neither was he.
I am trying to be vigilant because I know that if he really wants to talk to me, he would pick up the phone and call, instead of a single message every morning. Now, my birthday is coming up in about 3weeks and of course he being the polite guy he is will whatsapp me. If you find yourself in these situations and ONLY IN THESE SITUATIONS you can break your no contact agreement but there is a certain way you have to act.
While this situation may suck it certainly isn’t impossible to cut off a significant portion of your contact with them.
Well, by doing this you are going to have to start your NC period over again FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.
This is a perfect time to improve yourself which is exactly what you are going to be doing during this time. When talking about physical changes during the NC period you should aim to become the sexiest version of yourself.
By now you should realize that the NC rule is important even if you aren’t trying to get your ex back because it will force you to focus on the most important thing, YOU!
Taking a break from your ex for a minimum of 30 days will give you time to calm down and think more rationally.
It’s interesting, because it allows you to essentially turn the tables on them and gain control over the situation. Someone who feels so strongly about their ex goes on the 30 day freeze out period and after the 30 days are up they realize that they have no desire to get back with this person again. I didn’t speak to him for a week and then i freaked out when he added a girl on fb and contacted him and he seems to be not wanting to get back together. Just by spending some time catching up and talking to him that day, I realized by his body language indicated he does still have feelings for me and he does still love me, even though it didn’t tell me those things directly. After we saw each other last week (we just hung out we didn’t hook up or anything), he told me he had a good time catching up with me and to text him when I arrived home safely. I pushed and proded and apologized for whatever hurt him for like 20 mins and then gave up as he pushed me away. It has been a month since I last spoke to him, and I had told him we were having a no contact period.
The last one was last year September (about 7-8 months ago), and he finally had enough of it and would never came back even after I apologied or tried begging.
I just want to know if this happens, is she worth enough to me to give this relationship another try? He said we were in different places in our lives and he needed to be independent and be able to make tough career and life decisions without worrying about disappointing me.
Now, this can be an incredible thing for the two people experiencing the relationship but for me, someone who is trying to help others by looking for trends, it can be quite annoying as there are so many situations that I have to cover.
Luckily you end up on my website, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, and learn about the no contact rule.
Of course, you did have a lot of amazing qualities outside of the clinginess and as time goes on your ex boyfriend begins to think back to those qualities. By day 10 of this no contact period your ex begins to get a little antsy and decides to break the ice first with a simple little text message. So, by ignoring your ex boyfriend in this case you are essentially telling him that you don’t need him to survive.
If you ex does try to talk to you about normal stuff like the weather don’t be mean to him.
You are still technically in no contact and I don’t want him to think he even has a chance with you. In this case your ex has already contacted you which means he has deemed his things important enough to take back. I know a lot of experts would have you believe that all you need is an amazing personality to make a man yours but if I am being 100% honest with you I am not quite sure I believe that.
Be nice with your answers to his questions but also don’t make your answers very long.
In other words, if your ex tries to talk to you about anything else other than that child your job is simple, DO NOT ENGAGE HIM.
Of course, you do live with this person so your relationship is bound to pop up at one point. This is how we met, and we still get together, have group chats and snapchats, etc, to the point where we really can’t separate ourselves from it. And if you need to reply to the group chat, just reply but don’t reply to his messages there. We continued to talk via whatsapp but it became harder for me to get him to answered my texts.
I didn’t text him back and then I found about no contact rule, and decided to try it. He continued to text and I continued answering with short texts (3 in total, versus a lot from him). It doesn’t require a lot of thought and in the past your ex boyfriend responded to everything you sent him. Of course, after you have gotten over the breakup and moved on you are no longer displaying that needy persona. It’s this idea that the emotional state of a man matters when you’re trying to get him back.
Then, as he grew dissatisfied or things happened in the relationship, the two of you broke up. The theories that I’m describing are so complex that they can go off into hundreds of different possibilities.
I’m not going to say that it’s completely like a video game where you reset and you’re able to start over from the beginning.
If he creates seven positive actions in one day, you can move the no contact rule from 30 days to 3 days. I talked a little bit about this in that episode and the importance of not rewarding someone who is negative towards you. We’re not going to reward your ex-boyfriend for lashing out at you just because you don’t want to talk to him.
Anyone who tells you, “I guarantee you I will get your ex back 100% of the time,” is a flat out liar. There are all of those things and a lot of situations, like what to do if he has a girlfriend.
For 30 days straight, you’ll get lesson after lesson, teaching you what to do every step of the way. I took 6 hours to reply him and, according to what I’ve read online in these past 2 days, I tried to show him that I was alright, saying “Hi!
Also considering that he is going thru a very stress in his family, with lots of big problems.
But I did leave a voicemail saying last time him and I spoke was for an hour and a half on the phone..
I kept queit i thought he is jokng with me then next day he said sorry to me and everything went ok. I’m gonna be honest I don’t wanna go down that road of contacting him so what would you suggest if this does happen ??
However, I don’t know if that means it’s possible for him to maybe reconsider thinking he might not fall in love with me in the future? I told him that it wasn’t and vaguely said something about maybe hanging out after spring break and then went back to not talking to him again until the 10 minutes ago when I caved and texted him about a band we both like since they released a new album. Keep in mind he has never ever before told me he loves me; but in this message of him breaking up with me he did.
Youre an amazing woman and you deserve someone who has the time to devote to you that you deserve! What about when you were a little bit older and saw something at the store that you really wanted but they were simply silent to your request?
For example, I remember when I was younger and a girl I was falling for wouldn’t respond to my texts I logged on to Facebook and looked at her profile to see if she was online.
You start off with really high hopes that throughout this process he will end up contacting you. Anyways, it seems that I have developed a new pet peeve when it comes to communicating with you ladies. Most women get extremely depressed when an ex boyfriend doesn’t message them at all during the no contact period. So, there is no use getting all depressed over a strategy that is literally at it’s beginning.
I feel that women often have an advantage over men because women are constantly talking to other women about their feelings.
People have a tendency to only remember the bad stuff about the relationships towards the end. While your expectations have been managed your only human and you can’t help but wonder what is going on in his mind. On day 30 of her no contact period her ex finally broke down and sent out a message to her. It doesn’t matter if he blew your phone up with text messages during NC or if he completely ignored you as you were ignoring him. Secondly, I can tell you that I am absolutely thrilled when a girl takes the initiative to message me. However the uncertainty as to where we stand bothered and hurt me a lot (i never wanted to break up because i loved him too much. This makes sense given his day turned to night behavior and why he broke up with me so suddenly.
And the most important thing is, were you active in improving yourself, going out, doing new activities, meeting new people, had a make over during nc?
Your aim now is to get him to that point by your actions and words.It’s Not Over YetWhen it comes time to get your ex boyfriend back there’s something that you need to keep inmind. If you slipand drop him a tiny ‘how are you doing?’ text, then you’ve given the power during the breakupback to him.
I suggested we take space and then see if we felt the same after a while and decided to come back or move on. But no matter what I tell you in this article I know that there will be a certain percentage of you who struggle. I personally don’t agree with either of those assessments but then again each broken relationship is different and will require unique individual time frames. In order for this process to work you need to prove that you can go 30 full days without relying on your ex for a conversation. For example, if you let yourself go a little bit during the relationship then it would be wise to use your time getting in better physical shape. Obviously the positive mental changes is going to cover mental aspects but it will also help you understand the importance of not falling off the map socially. With a month of free time away from your ex you can really get a lot done in the healing department.
They are built by strong ones and the no contact period allows you the proper amount of time to start building that strong foundation again. He said that his heart bled the previous week and that he had already gone through the distraught phase basically where I am this week. Once I left, he gave me a long hug, told me that he had fun catching up, and to text him when I arrived home safely. But now i cant send the text tomorrow bc its way too close to the day he was seen out with his ex! In between these 7-8 months we did contact, or we would see each other because he was helping me with something.
I would consider this a huge impediment to repairing our relationship or just our channels of communication before his move. I sent him a long Facebook message (he deleted me off of Facebook) and he still hasn’t replied to it.
He started contacting me again and at first I did not reply then I did minimally and now he keeps inviting to hangout with his friends…. Just like the initial discussion over getting your things back this is strictly business and that business is just to get your things back. Of course, he does leave a voicemail on your phone and curiosity gets to you so you decide to listen to it.
It is possible that in the morning he noticed the drunken text he sent in his phone… Although, of course later he probably discovered the mail too.
I feel that was always the one saying sorry even when it was not my call, I did whatever he asked me 90% percent of the time. So it’s been 3 weeks since 0 contact from both of us would you say I should admit defeat and move on? I’m also going to dive into something that I’ve never talked about with the no contact rule and why I love it so very much. In order to really convince him to get back with you, he has to be in a highly emotional positive state. If you woke up one day and you won the lottery, I’m pretty sure that would put anyone in a good mood. I probably shouldn’t bring it up because I’ll lose all credibility as an ex recovery expert. He says, “Hey, I miss you.” Then, on day seven, he contacts you again with the same message. Around day 10, your ex-boyfriend contacts you seven times, either through text messages, phone calls or Facebook. He sends you text messages that say, “I miss you.” He calls and leaves a really sweet voicemail.
He actually came back to me but I denied him because I feel so great about myself.” These are the people who did such a good job at building emotional confidence capital.
What I’m explaining here with this two-pronged approach is that building emotional confidence capital helps you out no matter what.
It uses the no contact rule as a two-pronged approach to help you get your ex-boyfriend back and also prepare you for the possibility that you may not get him back. That is just as important as the no contact rule if you really want to increase your chances of getting your ex-boyfriend back. Three weeks after the break up and he told me he just didn’t care about me anymore and so on.
Me and my bf had a realtionshp since 8 years and few months ago he scld me on a little thng and said me that stop telng your friends that v are going to marry soon i have a realtionshp with someone else and i love her wil Marry her.
But one whole month i felt he is rude with me and when ever taks with me when he wants aur when that grl avoids him he said me sorry i knw but he is havng a gf i m dam sure.
I really really liked him and could picture myself with him long term so what should I do to make sure we don’t stay as just friends? But his best friend sent a snapchat of my ex and himself to me during this time though, and I know he sent it on purpose.
It just so happens that the time I did look at her profile she was online and I remember I blew her phone up angry that she was ignoring me. However, after your 30 days are completed he hasn’t contacted you and you are left feeling pretty depressed. Remember, the no contact rule is only the first step of the entire ex boyfriend recovery process. It want’s what it wants and eventually it wore my pride down and a few days later I sent that message. Believe me when I say it takes a man who is incredibly stubborn to not contact you during a 30 day NC period. Seriously, I am so used to messaging girls (who I am romantically interested in) first that it is kind of annoying to me to keep doing it.
I agreed and at times it was really difficult but we were both committed to making it work (we spoke on the phone every day, we would plan trips to see each other etc.). The most common mistake we as humans make when we’re trying to get someone backafter a breakup it to contact them incessantly because we think that they will move on without usovernight. As your ex boyfriend looks around to find out how you are dealing with the breakup, he should see nothing and I guarantee that after a few weeks of this your ex boyfriend isdefinitely going to come searching for you.He will do it under the guise of “calling to see how you’re doing”, or probably he will make upsome lame excuse to stop by your house and pick up something that belongs to him. Thus, this page is meant to teach you how to successfully implement the no contact rule so you can put yourself in the best position to get your ex back.
However, you also need to remember that you are creating a new life of which they are separate from (or you need to appear to be creating one.) Again, keep any conversation simple, short and pleasant. It can be especially hard when your heart is begging you to just pick up the phone and type a simple text message to your ex.
Not only are the health benefits immense to getting in good shape but it can legitimately be a step in the right direction to getting an ex boyfriend or girlfriend back. Nothing is going to get accomplished if the both of you are constantly a word away from getting into an argument. I did do that, but he ended up replying the following day because he apparently slept early cause he had a long shift.
I tried to move on, and got myself a rebound bf but very soon I realised I don’t like him, and my ex knew about this, as if he is okay.
He called me countless times, my family, friends, work, came to my place twice, tried to contact me on every channel. I ended up clingy, miserable, masstexting, calling, mailing and asking for more all the time. It seems like today is the first day that Christina is going to be trying out the no contact rule.
It’s not going to be easy to convince someone who is in a highly emotional negative state to get back with you.
After the no contact rule is over, you can work him to get him into a highly emotional positive state. As time goes by, your ex-boyfriend begins to think, “I kind of miss her.” That’s what you want.
Only in this case if he creates seven actions in one day can you move the no contact rule down to three days. Stuff of that nature is a positive action towards him wanting or convincing you to come back to him.
Now you have an idea of how the no contact rule can help you and why it’s such a good idea. I cried alot and was quiet didnt said him anything next day he said me sorry and said evrythng was a lie and then few weks everything was ok then i realized that he is avoidng me rude behavior with me and al the time says me i wil nt mary you or al the tyme i text hm aftr few days he replies me than i saw your Site and i strt nc rule he is textng me cls me daily but whatevr happens i wil complete 30 days nc rule.
Is it even possible to make him want to get back together with me if he doesn’t think he’ll love me? I really hope that we can still be friends and hang out and stuff ?? i really enjoy talking with you.
We all come to a certain point in our lives where we get to finally laugh about our previous heartbreaks. However, the reality of the situation is much different than what we think and I’llshow you.Imagine that you were the one who broke it off with your ex boyfriend? I have realized that I still have expectations of him, and I still care for him, so being friends is proving difficult for me.
This amount of time will give you and your ex enough breathing room to calm down and look at the situation more rationally. Unfortunately, by breaking NC you are losing power and control over your relationship which at this stage is a very bad thing.
I cried for 6hours and went a little crazy and sent him all these texts and called him and fb msgd him and he did block me. He texted me, sent me a snapshot, and liked my picture on my social media, but I completely ignored it. I was thinking I could send a text and then have another no contact period so that he doesn’t understand why I am ignoring him again. I was thinking probably he has moved on that’s why he could still be like friend with me. When a man is in a highly emotional positive state, he’s a lot easier to get back than when he’s in a highly emotional negative state. Errr… Now I see that I should have ignored his text, but he knows I would answer even a spam text, cause it is really not my type to ignore anyone at all… Maybe I destroyed everything? U said strt nc rule and idid he texts me daily and cls me al the time and i have strtd nc rule and im avoiding hm what should i do next i seriously need your help chris you are doing a very good job and helpng ever1 plz help me out what should i do.
30 days seem a little too short for me but i am worried this might affect the whole game plan if we extend it. What about when you were in high school and you really liked a boy who wouldn’t give you the time of day? Dealing with your exboyfriend’s phone call correctly is an important part to winning him back.Read more on how to deal with your ex boyfriend’s phone callThe End ResultYour ex boyfriend is going to be blown away!
I kept insisting on an answer and unfortunately even performed that needy behavior you guys talk about for a little less than a month.
I am very sure my ex is the one I love because waking up everyday I miss him so much and I am willing to give up the current rebound bf if my ex is willing to come back.
I’m just afraid if things get comfortable she would do this to me again… what should I do? It’s the way people act when they love someone so much and that person doesn’t want to be with them. But I’ve read on websites that when you send the first text after the 31 days, you should send, “Hey!
However, although our relationship was a happy one, I always got the impression that he didn’t appreciate me as much as he should have, and this seems like a great opportunity to start fresh. He said that we are over and that its hopeless to even think of a relationship because we don’t seem to understand each other.
The meet up went reaaaally well, he told me I looked amazing and very happy, and he was happy for me. I was insisting because we were still together but he didn’t treat me like a girlfriend, he became more distant. I am determined to stick with the NC rule however, do you think it would ruin my chances to build rapport with him if I don’t congratulate him on such a big event in his life? I probably have to work on myself before we can be together again because of my currently extremely low self esteem but I’m so sorry for him and so sad and miss him terribely. I know this is a bit random, but I just wanted to say thanks for all the great times we spent together.
Maybe if youd be willing to give it another try later, like maybe after you graduate I would be up for it in a heartbeat. I was wondering what you think my chances might be since he said he wanted to be single right now.
There were many external factors that led to our fights such as Job issues, exams, illnesses we both were going through. He broke up with me after 4 months of long distance and his reason was that he felt like he couldn’t be a good boyfriend given the situation with his dad. Here we have collected funny and mean ex-boyfriend quotes to help you move on and give a good love about the past.Funny Ex Boyfriend Quotes1. He has absolutely no idea what is going on because it’s the exact oppositeof what he expected.
The last text yesterday I asked him if he has a new gf already or falling for someone new but he just didn’t reply, so I assume he probably has. That’s what you become to your ex-boyfriend if you constantly message him after the breakup. I always complained that i was not getting enough attention and he complained i don’t try to understand his situation. He said he has an obligation to take care of him and just doesn’t have the time to think about anyone else right now. He expected that you’d come running after him and that you’d beg him toleave the door to the relationship open a crack in case he wanted to reconcile?Well guess what. And I decided I couldn’t be like that, so I took in into my own hands and broke up with him. She has a boyfriend to use as a jealousy tool (that’s literally what she does with him), while I gave up seeing most of my friends most of the time, not to make Him jealous. I can completely understand this, as I asked before we did long distance if he felt he had time for a girlfriend (even though he assured me that he did). It was very painful because I didn’t want the relationship to end but I knew it was what I had to do.
But also because I cheated on him (repeatedly …) a year ago and he only found out this year)?
You have put him out of his comfort zone,and made your ex boyfriend face the fact that he can’t play games with you at this moment. I want to try the No contact Rule but I don’t know if I need the other book the Ex BF pro book instead.
We still talk occasionally and he tells me he still loves me and misses me but still just isn’t in the position to be in a relationship.
It iseither he chooses to take you back (and hopes you will accept) or he risks losing you forever.If you want to get your ex boyfriend back, the first thing you need to do is to get his attentionagain. I miss him so much and I guess I want to know if there is anything I can do to change his mind? Cutting off all contact will not only get his attention, but it gets him thinking about youagain as well and that’s exactly what you want.Now before you go I want to introduce you to someone who has helped thousands of people whohave been in your exact situation.
His methods are slightly unorthodox but they really work andhe’s really keen on helping folks just like you.Meet T. Class is the only time we talk, but it’s only about the project itself, I avoid any other topic. This drunken mail happened the night after we had this fight and he accompanied it with a text so that I could wake up and see what he wrote. We have texted maybe once or twice, because we had to for school; but it was only a few messages long and I was the one to cut the conversation short.
Thank you for all the advice & articles, it has been really helpful in the healing process! So I assured him that I understood and I didn’t pressure him to go and I told him that I believe he is a strong person and that I cared for him and loved him and I would be there as a friend. I applied the NC but he called and called and called and he reached out to my family and friends to know if I was ok… everybody was worried because he sounded so worried (I never did NC before no matter how hurt I was I was always the one making peace, under any circumstances). It was very difficult the first week, but it has become easier and I’m working on myself along the way. Every girl has that one boy, no matter who theya€™re with of how long ago she had feelings for him, he will always be the one that when a love song is played, hea€™ll be in her mind.
And there’s a school dance shortly after where girls invite guys and I wanted to invite him to that, which is 23 days from now. I went to work, and got some special treatment with friends and sports and arrived home very late at night, until when he had looked for me twice at my place and called everybody.
I’m afraid he was just worried but not because he wants me, just for some other reason. I want him to remember the good things about me and let go of the past but I don’t know how to make him let go of my mistakes (though I have never done anything as bad as cheating). I cried again and I couldn’t resist and sent a msg about how well he had chosen the date of our anniversary for this. Originally posted by Lauren ConradWhile dwelling on a recent breakup may be good for some, it is always better to leave an ounce of love for yourself.
You are going to be fine and you will meet someone better who will not take you for granted and who will love you unconditionally.
If you are inspired by these ex-boyfriend quotes, be sure to read Inspiring Letting Go Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes and Cheer Up Quotes. Share this article with your loving friends and family at Google Plus, Facebook, and Twitter.



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Comments

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