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Yes – it doesn’t matter that much WHAT you say, as long as you project the right vibe - see our series on how to pick up girls for more on that.
But, I clearly remember when I was first learning this stuff, I got incredibly frustrated with that advice. There are some topics that girls respond better to than others, so ideally you want to have the right vibe AND an interesting conversational repertoire.
And it often helps to get some specific examples of things successful guys say and do when they approach women – if for no other reason than to pick up on the underlying mindset these lines come from.
Below is a list of challenges you'll run into on the approach, or before approaching, a new girl - and the solution to each of them. In this case, however, it’s ALREADY on her mind… and you need to address it fast, or she will be gone. Challenge: She’s on the phone - how many approaches have you missed out on because a girl you wanted to meet was making a call? You can also do this implicitly, by walking up to her and looking at her as if you were expecting her to hang up… most women usually do. Girls will often deny that they were looking at you… they unconsciously know that whoever initiates a social interaction holds less power in the situation (this is why they'd rather get approached than do the approaching). Solution: Approaching her right there and then – even if you speak quietly like I suggested above – is going to create a lot of social pressure for both of you… more importantly for her. If you really want to meet a girl in a situation like this, I suggest you wait till her stop and get off the bus or train with her. Solution: I usually skip these approaches these days – they can be done, but again the social pressure is pretty high for her. If she’s only with other girls her own age, simply treat the whole group as if it was one girl.
How about when you want to meet a girl and you do the approach - or you're just about to - but one of these problems emerges?


Solution: Keep insisting… simply keep talking to her as if you expected her with absolute certainty to stop and talk to you. Problem: She throws up a time constraint in the middle of your conversation and suddenly says she has to go. Solution: The first thing you need to ask yourself is – did you say something to make her suddenly want to leave; is this a pretense you triggered? Solution: AGREE with her, again, and then spin that into the REASON why you should hang out together.
She’s not really giving you a red light here – a red light would be if she left and ended the conversation.
This is a yellow light, and as we discussed in previous articles, the way to deal with a yellow light is to REMAIN UNFAZED and continue the conversation with a very chill, relaxed vibe. And that, again, is the bottom line of all contingency planning – your vibe is much more essential to your success than the specific words you say.
Sign up for our email insights series and get a copy of our popular ebook “How to Text Girls” FREE. I am a single man and here is a truth many women ignore: Believe it or not, many men are shy. Nothing you will read here are clever lines that somebody thought up while sitting on a computer in his basement – all of the strategies you are about to read have been successfully used on real women in the real world hundreds of times.
This gives her time to process the fact that somebody is talking to her, break out of her own internal dialogue, extrovert, focus her attention on you and stop. Walk up to her and tell her that if she’s going to look at you like that, she will at least have to talk to you.
Getting approached by a man in this situation might legitimately be dangerous for her, so you need to adapt your approach a bit.
It sounds silly but it makes a WORLD of difference – psychologically, and in terms of responses.


If you see a girl in a group like that while you travel though, you won’t ever see her again so you might as well go for it.
Agree with her and talk about how you probably won’t have any time in the next couple of weeks either. She probably doesn’t want to be the topic of gossip for the next couple of days, as her friends all tease her for letting herself get picked up by some random dude at work.
This is an old technique used by successful salespeople, but it works just as well to meet girls.
Today, it seems to be quite common the girls are walking around wearing (white ;-) ) earbuds. You will have to go direct in this case, as you simply won’t have enough time to mess around with anything else. Then offer that maybe you might make an exception and take 20 minutes to grab a quick coffee with her, but you’re not sure yet.
Casinos are free, drinks are free and of course you will need to ask that man next to you some tips on Craps. There will be a man who will sit next to you and start talking and talking about the Red Sox.
And wine tastings are far better than bars – you can actually talk without that obnoxious drunk leaning on you. You are expected to be terrible, after all that is why you are at the driving range practicing. The driving range supplies the balls and believe me – there is nothing more satisfying than getting that aggression you have been building up all week, by smacking a few balls.



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Comments

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