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While Christina did ask me more questions about the no contact rule I decided to make the focus of this episode around the friend zone or what to do if your ex boyfriend places you in the friend zone.
To recap, it cuts off the emotional support he is expecting from you and raises your value in his eyes.
Ah the good ole reverse psychology tactic.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? I can’t help but think that if I suddenly just start ignoring him, he’d see it as me being a drama queen. I remember the first day when we exchanged numbers with each other, she was hitting on me very hard. What we’re dealing with when you’re trying to get your ex back is the fact that, if your ex friend zones you, you already have history to fall back upon. If you are in the friend zone and you don’t have a romantic history with a person, that means that they’ve already classified you as someone that they don’t ever want to be in a romantic relationship with. I can’t tell you how many stories I run across from women saying, “We were friends for eight years. If you keep doing what you’re doing and expecting a different result, it is literally insane.
Here is the nifty thing that no contact does when you’re looking at a friend zone situation.
Of course, you can’t expect to get out of the friend zone and get your ex-boyfriend back just by using the no contact rule. What I would like to talk about for you, Christina, is what you should be doing after the no contact rule to get out of the friend zone or have your ex-boyfriend look at you in a different light, as a potential romantic partner.
I’m not an expert on gays but I know about the stereotypical gay best friend and what they’re there for.
After sending mixed signals, being hot and cold, being into him one minute and out the next, the last thing that I want you to do is be willing to walk away. In the show notes, I’m going to create this game plan of what you should do to work yourself out of the friend zone.
Again, if you haven’t reviewed or subscribed to the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Podcast, please do so on the iTunes page.
I’ll also put information in the show notes of this episode for how to get in touch with me or leave a voicemail and potentially get your question answered.
My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. Although I am older than him, the truth is that we shared the same life goals, values, and beliefs. Overall, we were very happy throughout the relationship aside from minor bickering arguments which was not a big deal to me as I know that, that happens naturally in every relationship. After the break up I naturally pleaded for him to give me a second chance to not be so demanding of all of his free time- I know that was something that I needed to work on anyways.
After 14 days and breaking my NC period once, I decided that I would really commit myself to a 30 day NC period. Long story short, I did a two month round of NC last year, called my ex, to which he didn’t pick up his phone. We talked for a bit because he had to get back to work, but hinted at us continuing our conversation later this week.
I’ve been active on social media and actively been working on myself and I feel great.
It’s hard to tell, based on how well you know him, maybe he’s jealous or really missing you? The only reason I asked if he just wanted an ego-boost is because I seem to mostly be the one initiating contact with him. I’ve been reading your site for the past 2 months and feel you give one great advice. I met a guy three months ago and at first we was totally into me and then he slowly became less interested.
I feel.he has friend zoned me but when we hnag out we hnag out for like 6 hrs at a time and have an amazing time. Do I do NC for 21 days then do social media after the 21 days or social media in the 21 days? The purpose of texting is to build enough rapport to call, calls should build rapport for a date.. You may be trying hard to get close to a girl, close enough to tell her that you like her, but one fine day she turns around and tells you that you’re such a great friend, or worse, you’re just like a brother to her. You may get really close to a girl with all the hopes of getting into her pants, but somewhere along the way, you may have taken a few detours that led you right into the friend zone. For a guy, a friend zone is the worst place to be in, especially when he likes the girl who behaves like a friend. In a friend zone, the two involved friends of the opposite sex are just friends and nothing more. And soon enough, the girl loses all realization of the fact that this guy has a package down there. Just a little side note before we get started, if you haven’t already gone to the iTunes page for the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Podcast and left a review and subscribed, please do so. Today we’re going to hear from Christina, a woman who is afraid that she’s putting herself in the friend zone with her ex-boyfriend. You fear that your ex is going to place you in the friend zone with the way things are going right now.
I’m sure I’ve friend zoned more than one woman but there’s only one particular woman that comes to mind when I think about the friend zone.
I couldn’t help but think, “If I were to date this person, would she do the same thing to me?” That’s what I was thinking when she was making her pitch to get me to go with her. Often times, if someone in that position does get out of the friend zone and starts dating that person, it doesn’t work out in the end. Christina mentioned that she’s a little afraid of restarting the no contact rule on her ex-boyfriend because she doesn’t want to come off as being rude, giving him the cold shoulder or starting drama. He says, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result every single time.” I understand your fear completely, Christina. If you keep talking to him, messaging him and meeting his emotional needs, you expect him to all of a sudden wake up one day and say, “I made a mistake.

He might expect you to listen to his problems and become that one friend he can always count on. When he comes to you looking for his emotional needs to get met and you’re not there, he doesn’t know what to do. First, if you’re doing the no contact rule, you’re going to cut off the emotional support system that he has with you.
With my tactics, you’ll become more impressive than this other girl he finds, and he’ll probably friend zone this other girl, too. Understand that your chances, if you’re being friend zoned, aren’t as great as another general woman trying to get her ex back. In fact, there were no inclinations aside from when he would get mad at me for being upset about things (natural in a relationship) that he was at the point of leaving me.
She has taken “my side” a little more than his on the whole break up because she loved us together, thought that we were a perfect match, and thinks that the reasons he used for breaking up with me are wrong. Basically, I plan on using all of Chris’s tactics to attempt winning our relationship back. With that said, i still had to see him all the time as we had bills and whatnot in each others names.
But he did call me back like 30 seconds later (apparently I called him as he was just getting home).
My ex and I were together for a little over a year, he joined the Air Force and within 2 months of our relationship he went to Basic Training and did not come home until the holidays ( so 10 months ). We went for a quick bite to eat last Tuesday and everything was fine, we both enjoyed the time I felt. My ex and I have been talking every day now, him initiating the conversation each time, but we have never spoken about our past relationship, so there is no way of telling in which direction this is heading. It’s a place where she and a guy can sit together and talk about anything and get real friendly with each other. They project no sexual interest towards each other and behave in a completely platonic manner. And he just becomes another sexless thing she hangs out with all the time as a platonic friend. If a guy likes a girl, he has to make it subtly obvious that he’s sexually interested in her.
All you need to do is drop a few hints now and then to let her know that you’re really into her.
Make it obvious that you like spending time with her in whatever way possible, but don’t ask her out or tell her you like her just yet. When I listened to your situation, there are two main points that you brought up that I want to cover today.
I would like to make this episode specifically about how to get out of the friend zone if you find yourself in it.
I didn’t really think logically in the front of my brain, “She’s of lower value.” That happened subconsciously. For those of you who have listened to this podcast and have come to understand the values that I have, I hold loyal-ness and trustworthiness to a very high standard. She would always tell me about her relationship problems, try to appeal to my ego and say, “I wish I could find a guy like you,” alluding to, “I want you.” I never really had feelings for her. He did go out of his way and lock me down.” It’s not impossible to get out of the friend zone in that particular situation.
When I’ve been friend zoned in my life, it’s always the girls coming to me to get their emotional needs met, and that’s it. The night he ended things we had even spent the whole night together with dinner and a movie only for him to go home at the end of the night and end things stating he had “been thinking about it for a while but was scared to do it”. He responded to everything I said but the responses were things along the lines of “I don’t want to fight or ever be enemies with you”, “This is sad and truly a loss to both of us”, “This is not easy. We continue to hangout regularly and promised that we wouldn’t let anything change between us, and we haven’t. However, I am concerned that BECAUSE he wants to be “friends” or is “okay” with being acquaintances, me initiating contact with messages seeming like I am ALSO “okay” with being friends will ultimately land me in the friend zone and for me that simply won’t do. It was really hard for awhile and i acted very desperate because i couldnt understand why he wanted to break up. Our communication was ok, we talked like nothing had changed between us, but I was doing most of the contacting. But I sent him a text wondering how he was doing (something basic) earlier this week with no response. For example, how long should I wait in between him initiating contact with me and me initiating contact with him?
How can I get him to initiate contact without looking like I’m being desperate to talk to him?
I’ve only known him for 3 months how long should I do the NC for and should I use social media to get his attention during this time while trying to improve myself or is this a helpless situation? He can try to be a friend with the hope of getting an occasional cuddle or a warm boob pressing hug now and then, but he’s always going to be just be a friend while she dates every other guy in the yearbook. If a guy behaves like a pushover and a doormat, no girl will feel even a tingle of sexual chemistry. Use these easy tips to get the message across and get her to desire you while you’re at it. I know it seems like I’m making a big deal out of that, but that’s because it is a big deal. I don’t want to give him a reason to think that I’m trying to manipulate him or that I’m cold-shouldering him because I’m angry.
I’m going to tailor it towards your situation and give you an idea of what you need to be doing to go forward. I remember reading her text and thinking, “Wow, that was forward.” I’d never had a girl come on to me that fast.
Another thing that she did that really turned me off to her as a potential romantic partner was the fact that she did have a boyfriend. I think that kind of relationship has a higher success rate than, we were friends for 10 years, then we worked things out and we dated. She is basically friend zoning the gay friend, not that the gay friend would want to be romantically involved with a woman.

You message your ex and say, “Hey, could you do me a favor?” He responds, “Sure, what’s the favor?” You say, “Could you help me move my things into the new apartment?” Treat him like that.
For those of you listening, if you have not picked up Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Pro and you want a step-by-step guide for how to get your ex-boyfriend, ex-husband or ex-lover back, this is the guide for you.
In fact, if any of those topics were ever brought up while we were together, it was him initiating it and making comments about how “when we move in together” etc.. You were a huge part of my life and taught me many life lessons”, and even “I don’t want you to ever change. Before I initiated NC with him, he had asked how I would feel if we were both to be at his sister’s house at the same time, mentioning that he had no problem with it.
He kept saying he just needed some time and everything would be ok, but then it wasnt so i would freak out everytime i saw him for awhile.
Are they genuine questions or just looking for me to lift his mood for a couple of seconds? It went amazing also, we even went to dinner afterward and he seemed pretty flirtatious, saying I looked pretty and play fighting with me.
Could you ever live with yourself by just being the friend of a sexy girl who dates every other guy but you?
She goes ahead and dates every single guy in the world, and finally, at the end of the movie she sees her true love in the form of her best friend. And if one of her friends come by, grumble audibly in a funny manner and say something like “just when I thought I was going to get some alone time with you, this guy pops up out of nowhere!” and just laugh.
To be honest, being in the friend zone is probably one of the worst positions you can find yourself in if you’re going to launch a “get your ex back” campaign. If you do a role reversal with him and put him in your role, ironically, he’ll start thinking that you’re the catch.
Before we officially started dating, it was I that had the issue with the age difference at first but after getting to know him more, he displayed more maturity and better relationship skills than anyone I had dated within my own age group. During our break up he has surprised me with gifts here and there, and reaches out at least every other week usually with a text of something funny and asks how i am. At this point, I’ve come to terms with it and have been actively taking steps to improve my own wellbeing. Some girl who’s desperate right at the beginning and doesn’t make me work for it lowers her value. It’s a common fear women have that, “If I use the no contact rule, he’ll find someone else. I said that scenario would never happen and he got upset indicating that he isn’t able to “have fun” because I am “always” over there (his best friend is renting a room out of their house for now as well which adds another complicated layer onto things). But in the beginning 6 mths it was me reaching out, crying, and just trying to figure out what was happening. After the NC I texted him, and he called me out for ignoring him and said “Now I hear from you? Him bringing up the conversation to put more of an effort into our relationship to make it last. What I’d like to do for you, Christina, and the listeners is talk about what goes on in a man’s mind when he friend zones a girl. I simply told him that I was living MY life day to day and doing whatever I am invited to do so I am sorry if he feels like he can’t have fun because of that. In the last 4 months i have stopped trying to work on things and just been trying to work on me but i still see him once a month for like an hour, we talk (and sometimes a little more, but he is fine if we dont, doesnt seem to care anymore, but he will still kiss or hug me before leaving).
He told me he wanted to breakup then a week later we talked via phone and he said it was more of a break, he has to get his feelings figured out. What you have here is a friendship where one person has severe strong feelings for the other person. The next day he started acting distant, took hours to reply to my texts and wasn’t very flirty anymore. I feel like i am in the friendzone and worse, i have been here so long i dont know if its even possible to get out now, and have put a bad taste in his mouth with my desperation. He texted me Saturday but the same thing happened, took hrs to respond and didn’t seem interested, yesterday was the same way. Although we talk and i see him, we have not been on a date or even so much as watched a movie together since we broke up.
He felt like he wasnt good enough for me and that I could find someone local and better than him.
I texted him this morning with some exciting news, asked him how his project was going, still took a long time to respond. At first I thought this was just a self-esteem issue, so I told him that while he was stationed half across the country for about another month and a half that he could think about it and when he saw me in person the next month he would need to have himself figured out or we would cease to talk entirely and I would have to think about being friends with him. After he took forever to respond, I asked him if he was ok with talking everyday again just to make sure both of us were comfortable with it. Our break up was really both of our faults, and i see now how much i needed that time, we were both dealing with very highly emotional situations in our lives, but i would like to try to see if there is a possible future there but right now he is probably looking at me as a friend, or an idiot who stuck around for no reason. I know i need to respect myself more and require it from him but i dont know how and its hard because we are on good terms, but i am really out of sight, out of mind for him unless he hasnt heard from me in a couple weeks and he is bored (it seems like).
He now says he wants to be friends and see where it leads us but he doesnt reach out or try to spend time other than when we have to see each other. And then he goes and does this on New Years Day and then the “official” breakup in February? How can I send him reminder texts (if he thinks I’m just trying to be friendly back) without freaking him out that I’m trying to get him back? How do I build attraction through texts if he only wants to talk about casual things and never brings up the relationship on his own? I blocked him from Facebook and Twitter because I couldn’t ( at the time ) handle seeing any of his information, but he even told me to unblock him. I want these texts to end up on the right path that gets him chasing me again, but I just don’t want to screw it up in the process.

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