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Think about it: if someone told you he’s waiting to bump into his perfect woman on a street corner and just naturally hit it off with her, you’d think he’d been neglecting his meds. We all know women love confidence, and if you’ve been affected by a history of rejections and expect to be turned down in the future, women can sense it. This is why overcoming fear of rejection is one of the most important skills in successful dating.
And, just as your fear of rejection is self-perpetuating, your resistance to the fear will likewise increase with time. A few years ago, I was on the phone with my brother after having been rejected by the same girl for the third time. My brother, who knew far more about women than I did back then, gave me advice I’ve never forgotten.
Read previous post:How To Get a Friend With Benefits RelationshipWant a hot girl who you can hookup with in a casual “friends with benefits”relationship? She’s got to be in your area, have similar life plans, be mutually attracted to you, share some fundamental beliefs with you… finding someone that meets all your criteria is always a bit of an undertaking. The issue goes from tricky to astronomically difficult when you’re not even willing to step up to the plate. We can deal with other types of rejection, like for a job or a sports team, because those rejections involve only a rejection of our skills.


When you get rejected, it shakes your confidence, and may even convince you that you deserve to be turned down.
They reject you when they detect your insecurity, so you become more nervous for the next girl. Conquering that fear is going to give you the strength to carry on and the poise to present yourself in an attractive way.
When your fear is gone, you’ll start experiencing more successes with women, which will make you even bolder and more confident with the women that follow. Like anyone who’s ever tried leading a romantic and sexually rewarding lifestyle, I experienced a ton of rejection in the beginning.
When pursuing someone for a while, or right after a rejection actually occurs, it can seem like that woman is the only one in the world. It’s easy post-rejection to sink into negative thoughts and start dwelling on previous failures. If you worked your whole life to get your dream job, would you come to your new office, put your feet on the desk, and do nothing? As long as you remember that everything that happens to you in your dating life is a learning experience, you’re golden. But when a girl tells you she’s not interested in you, she’s rejecting everything you are, your entire identity, everything you’ve put together and consider you.


I couldn’t understand why no matter what I was trying, it seemed all my flirting attempts bombed. I made the same mistakes, I’d get too hung up on the wrong girl, and I’d beat myself up, wishing I hadn’t wasted my time with girls that went nowhere. But the just practice mantra reminds you of something—that’s the farthest thing from the truth! The pain, the work, the setbacks…those are the ingredients that make you into a king with the ladies. There are hundreds and hundreds of millions of women out there, and this rejection does not represent them as a group. Think about how you could’ve done better, and how you’re going to use what you’ve learned at your next opportunity.
The same goes for relationships, and even the happiest couples experience a lot of pain and struggle. The pain you experience in your rejections is toughening you up for the future, getting you ready for when you really need to be able to take an emotional beating.



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