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I am currently in the process of writing a massive guide about going on dates with an ex boyfriend when I stumbled across this question from a woman who wants to remain anonymous. Anonymous and her boyfriend have been broken up for a few months and she has done a phenomenal job of sticking to my advice. Her ex boyfriend is currently in possession of a record that she wants back and her ex actually called her to set up a day where they can meet up and he can give it back.
Welcome to the ex boyfriend recovery podcast where we help you get your ex back and have the fairy tale ending you deserve. Now, you may be asking yourself, “Well, how can this book be specific to my situation?” Because without a doubt, that was the number 1 complaint.
And I am structuring the book in a certain way where it creates a game plan for you to follow and then based on your situation, it’s going to teach you how to alter that game plan to fit your needs perfectly– long distance relationships for example.
We’re trying to create this family atmosphere where we help everyone, where we get and respond to everyone but enough about that. You know I was taking notes and my wife she was sitting right next to me and she stopped everything she was doing and she was listening as well which is kind of rare for her and then after you were done talking, she literally turns to me and goes, “I really like her voice.
So, that’s when I knew for sure that I definitely had to feature your question on the podcast but anyways, you have done a pretty good job at advancing to the point you’re at currently. I’m of the mind of the value chain where you have to start off slow and kind of slowly build up the attraction into a point where it boils over and he just can’t not be in a relationship with you. I’m actually writing a really good article coming up about this very kind of question that you asked, which is another reason why I picked your question because I’m literally writing an article about it and when you were asking about how to handle the date or what you do during a date, I just thought it was a perfect match for what I was already currently working on.
But it seems to me like you’ve already advanced to where you’ve locked down a date with your ex boyfriend. So, when it comes to dating you shouldn’t operate under the assumption that it’s going to take one date to get your ex-boyfriend to agree to be back in a relationship with you.
So, one of your big questions was should you ask him to hang out because you say he’s operating under the assumption that he’s just going to give you your record back and then that’s going to be it. I’ve talked about this a lot throughout ex-boyfriend recovery and it’s sort of ending the conversation at the high point. My wife the other day, she sent me this really interesting email and specifically, she’s in charge of Youtube and she wanted to do a Youtube video on make up and dressing up clothes and everything like that. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months and he just broke up with me a few weeks ago. My bf of 5 years broke up with me in August, he strung me along till November when I said I’m no longer making an effort and we had three months no contact.
He has turned off his phone (has a work phone that I refuse to call-I’m not pathetic), but is active on facebook (ok I’m a creep!
This post relates to my current boyfriend of two months who I really want to prevent becoming my ex. He says I’m his girlfriend, I have met a few of his friends, he is yet to meet mine and we went on a trip to a nice lodge for a few days recently.
Yet before I left to go away on holiday he sent me a message more or less saying he wishes I’d never broken up with him and basically saying he still loves me.
My ex refuses to meet with me alone (just the two of us), and insists on bringing a mutual friend with him. Hello I sent an email to [email protected] because of my situation being personal to post here.
We got into a texting fight because I told him AGAIN that I wanted us to move forward but wanted transparency and to be able to trust him and if he wants to keep his options open then so will I. So, while it started off awkwardly with all the built up tension and weirdness in meeting in such a different context to before. Specifically the no contact rule.Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? Thus, she is wondering how to turn a meet up that’s supposed to be about a record into a date where they can hang out. I kind of took a break last week, mostly focused on Youtube and creating videos because I really–I guess it’s fun to be on camera. I am actually in the process of rewriting my most popular book- Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and this thing is going to be a behemoth.
You know like, “The book created this nice little template for me to work in but it doesn’t speak directly to my situation.” I’m glad you asked that.
So, yeah, I’m super pump about it, you know we just finished writing a new book– The No Contact Rule Book. When I am choosing questions to feature on the podcast, often times my wife whose desk is sitting right next to mind, listens to me listen to all voice mails and you’re particular question, when I was playing it, listening to it, I was interested in it.
To me it looks like, you’re maybe rushing a little too fast but I’m not saying you shouldn’t go get your record or anything like that. So, congratulations for that and I’m going to do everything in my power right now to help you on the date. So, I think a lot of my effort or focus is on helping those people at the beginning of the strategy but that doesn’t mean we should leave out the people who are the end of the strategy– dating. You know you go on what I like to call kind of a small date, the medium date and then large date or the romantic date and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend again.
I think if– I would always let my wife dress me because that’s how bad I am at dressing up. She sent me this really interesting email about what the clothing says about you and what the color of the clothing says about you. It came out of nowhere… we both just sat down and had talked about how happy we both were with our relationship. However he thinks it’s too soon to meet my mum or me meet his cousin (his other family lives overseas).
Why would he keep dropping out of the conversation every time I try to organize meeting up when he’s already agreed to meet up for a coffee?
He completely flipped out, called me names, basically cussed me out and told me that I drove him away again.
I feel he’s making a clear, stubborn effort to avoid it to protect his own feelings of guilt and uncertainty. And there’s a lot of more interesting things going on but the podcast is still near and dear to my heart.

Today’s question comes from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but she has a real interesting question that I don’t think I’ve ever covered on the podcast before.
I’m going to give you certainly tips on what to do during the date but I would say, after the date, focus on building more attraction before you see him again in person. You did the no contact rule which is phenomenal but where I think you fell down a little bit was the attraction building through texting and then after texting you have to transition to phone calls.
So, when it comes to dating your ex, if I were to pick out one of the weakest parts about ex  boyfriend recovery, it’s the fact that we feature a ton of advice on the first parts of my overall strategy for getting an ex back, for parts like the no contact rule, parts like text messaging, parts like talking on the phone but we don’t really talk about dating a lot and what to do during the date. This process will take time which is why I like to teach what I like to call the three date method. Well, you just have to interest him, you’re right about being chill and not bringing up really bad memories or super emotional stuff. Especially if there was cheating involved, you should definitely not talk about that but talk about something that’s going to interest them. If it was up to me, I would probably go everywhere in tennis clothes because they’re so comfortable but obviously, I can’t do that. I’m sure you’ve seen this when it comes to like sales and advertising and how like yellow—you know like McDonald’s has red-yellow or something because it catches your eye and it makes you want to go in but when it comes to relationships, it’s really interesting in what the colors mean. So, if you want him to look at you in a passionate way or you want him to be super into you, red is definitely what you want to wear. He was so afraid of losing me because we both are from different religions and actually he and his family lives in Saudi since his age 4. We travel well together, are both creative and have the same sense of adventure as well as wanting the same goals out of life (more travel and eventually a family). He also thinks it’s too soon to become Facebook official and that we need to spend more time getting to know each other first. Just enjoy what you have, if it doesn’t progress over time then think about it because the more you worry about it the more it can hurt the relationship. I’m concerned that No Contact will end up being forever… and perhaps I need to let go. And also feel it’s these very feelings could work in my favour if I knew how to work with them!?
So, here I am again for another week and another episode of the ex boyfriend recovery podcast. I really took a lot of the people who complained about what the book didn’t have or what the book lacked in the past.
I don’t know when it’s going to be completed because I want to do a really good job for you but basically what’s going to happens is I have compiled a huge list of all the situations I’ve ever encountered through ex boyfriend recovery.
So, anyways– two year relationship, ended basically in the “Girl’s-a-crazy-this-guy’s-a dumb” paradox thing. I’m not trying to say anything mean to you or put you down or anything like that but if I were to pick on something that maybe you didn’t do as well and you weren’t as descriptive as maybe you could have been but if there is one thing that I can kind of pick at that maybe you could have done a little bit better not relating to a date. As far as what to say, I think this podcast episode is too short to tell you exactly what to say on a date. Now, if you listen to my strategies or read anything on my website, you know that I’m a big fan of slowly building up attraction and the same applies with dating. It just depends on—I know some men out there get really keyed up and they show up a lot earlier.
A tv show is an example there that I just used but maybe he has a movie, maybe—I know Game of Thrones is coming out soon which is we’re super pumped for. But anyways, here’s some interesting things that I’ve learned and also that my wife can help you out because now my wife is working full time with the ex-recovery team and she’s specifically really good at things like make up and dressing things up. So, according to this, there are three types of colors that you want to wear on your first date. The second one is perfect if there was cheating involved, specifically if you cheating and, that’s Blue. In fact we just discussed the idea of adoption someday and he said how great it would be to have a family with me. I Come from south america And my ex from France, we had A year together before I had to go home And we continued our history in A long distance way, last year I decided to leave everything And I came to live in France And we took an appartement together. Yet every time I’ve mentioned going out for a quick coffee to catch up he simply drops out of the conversation.
We started texting and rebuilding attraction, finally met up with each other and once again.. I jotted those notes down and basically everything that anyone ever complained about is going to be going in the book. So, I don’t forget but yeah, we’re really excited to add more products to fray and I have to say, thank you guys for being so accepting of the newest additions to the ex boyfriend recovery team. Build attraction with your ex through text messages and then of course build attraction through your ex through phone calls and eventually, once enough attraction has been build, the date should be easiest. Of course I write about it in my products and everything like that but for whatever reason, I’ve just never covered that as much. I will give you a few pointers a little bit later but let’s talk about what kind of a template to work in because I always think people look better when they have an overall strategy. Imagine that you were about to go on a blind date with someone you’ve never met before and then on the blind date, that person asks you to marry him. Repeat it to where it’s every single date you go on from this point on after that third date is romantic and puts him in the mindset of wanting to ask you to be his girlfriend again but we’re getting way ahead. Baby blue in particular—I know from my sales experience that Baby Blue is the most trusted color but Blue in general shows that you’re trustworthy and that you’re secure essentially. We had a fight in December and took two weeks off from our relationship then, but ultimately after meeting after that decided we wanted to be together and make our relationship even better. He Broke up with me And we have to love together for 3 months more And I dont know What to do. He says over time when things get more serious we will do all these things like meet family, become official etc.
Constantly questioning me about if I have done something or hooked up with anyone while were apart. Just sort of, kind of, if you imagine a graph, it’s sort of like the graph is constantly going up if the graph were to represent attraction of course. I think that’s partly due to my laziness but it’s also partly due to no one really wants to hear about it because where people mostly struggle is in the first parts of the strategy with the no contact rule.

Where I would have a date set up and I would show up maybe 30 minutes early because I was just nervous about it but my point here is you’re trying to go on small date and the goal of this date is to interest him and make him want another date with you. Because when you have him on that hook, when you have him hooked and you leave, you are putting yourself in a position where he’s going to want to see you again.
So, if you cheated or there was cheating involved, blue is definitely the color that you want to wear.
You will always get really good and insightful information from my podcast specifically about ex’s or just relationships in general and also please if you haven’t, write a review. And i know he afraid that he may agree that he still has the feelings towards me when he meets me face to face. He has been dealing with a lot at home, searching for employment being the biggest issue which has led to moving home and having money loaned by family.
I have got a child from my previous relationship and my ex loves her very much, to be honest at some point it felt like he would break up earlier with me if not her.
I am so deep in love with him Still but he has been really weird sometimes he arrived home And he sees me And kisses me hello And we hug And we Laugh ( even if we are not together) he tells me he doesnt want to stop kidding but at The same time he doesnt want it to happen all The time, sometimes he comes to me And hugs me, but I can see in his eyes he doesnt feel The same as me, I think he Still has feeling sur for me but he is done trying. But he still felt it was the right decision and he couldn’t offer me the friendship I wanted.
The first date should be real light, not threatening, but interesting enough to hold his attention to make him think about you.
So, I went out and got someone who knows a lot about it, enough to get me to marry her, my wife. And then finally, if you feel like you want to look slimmer or you feel that like Red looks terrible on you, –these are my wife’s words, I’m just summarizing from the email here I have pulled up in front of me.
Then when the course ended he just wanted to end everything so that he can end b4 other reasons end our relationship. Anyway during the break up I told him that we love him and I wish we could try again , also I gave him reassurance that I can wait for him ( I wasn’t thinking and I really want him to stay) . Please I need your help, I dont know how to get him back when we are living together ?? I would really appreciate it.
Im not the person to ask that stuff anyways, why would you even want to know… I told him over and over that I was more interested in the future and what would happen from now onward but I feel like hes stuck in just wanting to fight with me. The second date should take things up a notch and on the third date of course should take things up a notch and then ideally by that third date enough attraction has been built through both where he’s re-evaluating whether or not he wants you to be his girlfriend and he’ll ask you. We’re using Starbucks as an example because I’ve been to Starbucks and I’d know exactly how this can work. You’ll find he’ll text you more, he’ll think about you more, he’ll say nice things to you, he’ll say maybe I miss you and then you can go about setting up that second date; the medium date which I’m actually not going to talk about because I want to talk a little bit about what you should wear. I encourage you to write a review on Itunes for my podcast and that it’s going to do it for this week’s podcast of the exboyfriend recovery podcast episode.
If he takes this 1 step towards me, i guess he can surely make the other steps in right way. After he moved out I didn’t contact him , but he did contact my daughter and he wanted to see her . Light texting after no contact, although he is very reserved but responding and when our last conversation went right, I asked if he has still had my old records that I lent him and he does and he agreed to meet up and give it back but yeah.
So, once you get there early, go inside of Starbucks and then order a coffee or whatever the heck you want to order there, Frappucino, whatever. My wife and I last night, we had an interesting discussion about the bachelor of all things and how the bachelor almost glorifies cheating and how it’s socially acceptable for the bachelor or even the bachelorette to cheat and how it’s such a way of process. We decided to meet up a week after he sent a text saying he needed to take a step back and his feelings for me didn’t change.
I wasn’t sure is it a good idea so I kind of played on time , week ago he said he would like to collect his chair , as he moved to new place ( first time in his life he is living by himself now ) . He showed me when he cancelled his Zoosk account, I asked for proof and if I want to see a msg on his phone that I’m curious about he will let me. When he came I was polite but I didn’t start any conversation about us , when he was leaving he hugged me and kissed me .
Sit down at a Starbucks where there’s an open chair near you and then when he shows up, he will come inside Starbucks and then he will see you and then he’ll V-Line towards you and then you’re both sitting, he’ll give you your stuff and rather than asking, “Hey, let’s hang out after this.” You’ve already put him in this position where he’s going to hang out with you. He said he was falling in love with me but wasn’t willing to work on our relationship at this point.
Now, those are the three top recommended choices for what I think you should wear on the first date. Because you want him to look at you in that passionate way again but if you want to maybe be more creative, wear Purple. So I left after he said that and didn’t speak to him aside from asking for some things I left with him. I said we had have plans , so he asked can he come in the week as he is going abroad to his father for 2 weeks and he wants to see us before he will leave, I agreed and 3 days ago he came , he played with my girl and brought her gift , he smiled and hugged me and said he misses us and home , I asked how much and he did very much .
Whwn he was leaving I could not be emotional even I tried a lot , and at the doorstep I asked him does he love me , he said I love you, so I asked why he will not come back , he answered that he feel like he needs to try to live alone and see how it is .
Now he is abroad and I really have my hopes high after he said he loves me , but I do t know what should I do ? Do I ask if we hang out for a little bit or you know, I’m definitely going to be very chill and nice and positive when I see him, not bring up any heavy memories. He has very good knowledge and intelligent boy but now fully depressed, may b bcz of job, he is jobless. I will not contact him first now but I know he will want to visit us when he is back , also he said could I send him text if my D wants any gift from his holidays . Talk about something that you know will interest him and then end the date prematurely on purpose. He sent me a text yesterday and we talked throughout the day and I realized I have broken the no contact rule again. I have decided not to initiate anything with him, but I am concerned about him as he told me he isn’t sleeping.

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