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Whether you are married and lost a child or separated and divorced, you need to support each other. There are five stages of mourning that people who have had a loss typically go through.The first stage is denial. It helps everyone to get together, look at pictures and other memorabilia such as the child’s favorite toys that they had, and reminisce about the past. Some men avoid talking about their feelings and demand that the family does not talk about theirs. When you think of the unfairness of losing a child, you can generalize and see everything in life as unfair. Frank HealyLicensed Professional Counselor, Highly Superior Autobiographical MemoryFrank Healy is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the State of New Jersey. Actress Leanne Cope speaks to the media during "An American In Paris" Broadway Opening Night after party at The Pierre Hotel on April 12, 2015 in New York City.
Whether your child died of an illness, an accident, or was a stillbirth you need to mourn, though often difficult it is important to learn how to deal with your feelings and continue your life. You and the child’s mother are experiencing the same loss and you will each have your vulnerable moments.
Understand that a skilled therapist can help you sort your feelings out and that it is healthy to share feelings. Even if one or all of you start crying, it is good for you to get together and talk about the good and the bad.
If you neglect your other children they may feel that the deceased one was your favorite and it will make the loss of their sibling harder on them.

Do not burden your children with the thoughts and feelings that you should be confessing to a therapist or clergy. This is unhealthy for everyone and can lead to avoidance of other issues, overall stress and poor communication.
Blaming just makes you angry and can make you sick, and it does nothing to help you move on with your life.
Although it is never easy to lose a child, there are things you can do to help yourself and your family deal with the loss. It is harder to lose a child than an adult relative or loved one because you wonder what they would have become and you get angry that they did not get a chance to live long. Use the fact that you are both mourning to foster empathy for her and hopefully she will have empathy for you. Getting together with family can also help to just take your mind off of everything and enjoy yourself.
Especially if your other children are young, they won’t know how to process all of their feelings anyway, and piling on your feelings will only confuse them more. Instead, encourage your other children to talk about their feelings of loss with you so that you can all process your feelings better. Blaming god can make you lose your religious faith and cut you off from major support you could get from your church community.
If you had a moment when you simply did not feel anything or don’t believe that you lost a child, you were in denial.The second stage is anger.
At this stage you feel cheated and get angry that your child did not have a chance at a full life.

Churches are great places to go for support as you can talk to the clergy about the child and the afterlife.
For example, if your 4 year old died in the swimming pool when you were not there you blame the adults who were there and should have been watching. If your 17 year old was killed in an accident you blame them or the other drivers.Stage three is bargaining. This stage is where you think of what your child may have grown up to be and how the death could have been prevented. You need to express yourself to safe trusted people and feel your feelings.Finally, stage 5 is acceptance. Although you are never going to be glad you lost your child, you accept that they are gone, and you can be happy that you had the child and remember the good times without sadness. Sometimes people who have had a loss do not want to stop feeling sad because they think it is the only way to stay connected with the lost loved one.
The truth is that you still feel connected to your lost child when you remember the good times.

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