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The answer: Because we have not evolved (as a world society) to understand the necessity to create an authentic emotional self.
The narcissist and many other individuals haven’t realized that establishing healthy boundary function and living truthfully in self-honouring ways keeps us safe, and grants the freedom to be real, navigate our lives with authenticity, self-love, self-esteem and self-respect – whilst making decisions that work for the greater good. Narcissism is a term with a wide range of meanings, depending on whether it is used to describe a central concept of psychoanalytic theory, a mental illness, a social or cultural problem, or simply a personality trait.
Some researchers believe that narcissistic personality disorder may be more likely to develop when children experience parenting styles that are excessively pampering, or when parents have a need for their children to be talented or special in order to maintain their own self-esteem.
On the other end of the spectrum, narcissistic personality disorder might develop as the result of neglect or abuse and trauma inflicted by parents or other authority figures during childhood. There are several types of child abuse, but the core element that ties them together is the emotional effect on the child. Exposing the child to violence or the abuse of others, whether it be the abuse of a parent, a sibling, or even a pet.
Child neglect—a very common type of child abuse—is a pattern of failing to provide for a child’s basic needs, whether it be adequate food, clothing, hygiene, or supervision.
Older children might not show outward signs of neglect, becoming used to presenting a competent face to the outside world, and even taking on the role of the parent. Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways. Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may reinflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else. Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests.
Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves.
They also like to belittle and ridicule others and they pick their vulnerable targets well.
So then ladies, if you are the Other Woman having an affair with a married man, the chances are he is a prize narcissist. Many narcissists know exactly how and when to appeal and what manipulative tactic is going to work best in which situation.
A narcissist can size up another individual, lure them into ‘trust’, and ascertain their weaknesses very quickly. The need for ‘artificial energy’ (taking for outside self in order to create self) is a bottomless pit. Our new world can now create “I win, everyone wins” mentality, and it’s time this awareness and training took place. Inevitably his ‘bad feelings’ are someone else’s responsibility, because he cannot claim these feelings as his own. So whichever mode the narcissist is working through in order to try to feel healthy, the same criterion applies.
Victims of narcissism are significantly poisoned, and recovery requires a virtual exorcism of the disease and the psychic vandalism that could continue for years. A Celebration of Women™ Foundation Inc., was born to shape a better world through building residential homes that are mandated to enable the education of young women, support self sustainable programs, graduating future women leaders.
The attention of a narcissist is in short supply when it comes to people, so when that prized attention shifts your way it can feel good. Narcissists move quickly to cement promising relationships, whether personal or professional. One thing that gets said about people who find themselves on the receiving side of a relationship with a difficult person like a narcissist is that they are somehow wired to attract and be involved with people like that. Society’s lack of authentic emotional training left us with the belief that ‘it’s weak’ to be authentic and real.
Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others. However, many mental health professionals believe it results from a combination of factors that may include biological vulnerabilities, social interactions with early caregivers, and psychological factors that involve temperament and the ability to manage stresses.

Children need predictability, structure, clear boundaries, and the knowledge that their parents are looking out for their safety. Contrary to this old saying, emotional abuse can severely damage a child’s mental health or social development, leaving lifelong psychological scars.
But at the end of the day, neglected children are not getting their physical and emotional needs met. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Narcissists, when on the prowl for an extra-marital affair, will usually attract women who crave drama (i.e. They tend to talk loudly to emphasise their self-importance using great hand movements to back that up, and they are control freaks who tend to lose their charm when destabilized or threatened. The narcissist will often argue and curse more than others, as well as using lots of sexual language. Don’t ever try to change him as he ENJOYS being one, but the more emotionally attached you get, the easier it will be for him to manipulate you, so as I first said above, don’t walk, RUN!!
They’ve been expertly hiding their damaged emotional self and navigating life with acute perception and mental analysis of their environment.
High level narcissists are incredibly intuitive, manipulative, criminally minded and very dangerous. They are parasitical in their approach and will take from outside sources and people whatever is necessary to sustain their false image. Many women die in this version of love, or at the very least spend years, if not the rest of their lives, emotionally, mentally, financially, physically and spiritually crippled. Prevention, disconnection and recovery require becoming very clear about what narcissism is. For him to acknowledge he is ‘down’ is terrifying and means admitting feelings of emptiness and powerlessness. The victim of the abuse will literally ‘become’ to the narcissist all the aspects of himself that he is disgusted by. Fortunately there are quantum solutions, that can significantly reduce contemporary recovery time.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel special -- it's something all of us want without even realizing it's something we seek. Most people don't really know what a narcissist is or how to tell if someone is a narcissist. Many of us take this quick, deep interest as a sign of depth of emotion (who doesn't secretly wish to believe in love at first sight?). This implies that there really is something wrong with you if you are involved with a narcissist.
A narcissist feels terrorized at the thought of vulnerability (being emotionally honest), and develops a pathological false self to guard the unresolved emotional wounds. In psychology, the term is used to describe both normal self-love and unhealthy self-absorption due to a disturbance in the sense of self. Narcissistic personality disorder is further characterized by an abnormal love of self, an exaggerated sense of superiority and importance, and a preoccupation with success and power. Sometimes, a parent might become physically or mentally unable to care for a child, such as with a serious injury, untreated depression, or anxiety. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations.
But hey, that’s enough about Gordon Ramsay, the epitome of narcissism in the extreme. Paul Dobransky explains that the myth of vampires was originally modelled on the human pathological narcissist. All young women should be educated before dating to become empowered and aware enough to avoid highly damaging narcissistic relationships. He has limited if any resources to supply his own ‘good’ feelings and just as few resources to work through and transform his own ‘bad’ feelings. Even though this information may seem extreme it is important to understand that narcissism is sometimes exposed gradually. We may just chalk it up to the human foible of the sort that makes young women fall for the bad boy.

What we don't realize is that in the initial stages of a relationship, work or personal, a narcissist works hard to make you feel this way. A youthful narcissist can be particularly hard to detect because some narcissism is developmentally appropriate.
If a narcissist doesn't sense you can be useful to him (by admiring him or doing things for him), he's likely to hardly pay attention to your existence. Other times, alcohol or drug abuse may seriously impair judgment and the ability to keep a child safe. They also like to go for the hottest women they can find, because they believe such women will be insecure and therefore the most susceptible to their manipulative tactics!! Little do they know, that the narcissist is gathering intelligence to threaten you with, torment you with and manipulate you with at a later date. The narcissist’s false self is his survival, and quite literally he will lose everything in his life (and even his physical life) before giving up the desperate grip on maintaining the facade. A boastful narcissist is likely a turn off, but most narcissists initially come across as agreeable, open, well dressed, physically appealing, self-assured and entertaining.
Usually a narcissist subtly invites you to admire him in some way, and in the beginning it can be easy to do this.
A narcissist has an uncanny psychic ability to know what a person needs to hear to get them interested. Since everyone in the young adult realm is a bit self-focused as they seek to separate from their families and establish themselves as independent beings, it can be hard to discern who is actually going to stay self-absorbed. But if you can provide for him in some way, and are willing to engage in the initial charming, approving banter, you are likely to find that narcissist everywhere all at once. It is a trap that plays into the hands of a narcissist, who actually does believe there is something wrong with you and colludes against you to get you to buy into that notion. Whether the abuse is a slap, a harsh comment, stony silence, or not knowing if there will be dinner on the table tonight, the end result is a child that feel unsafe, uncared for, and alone.
Many an individual who has connected to a narcissist has been sucked dry emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. The results that nice guys may suffer at the hands of abusive women are similarly devastating.
Non-narcissists can be charming too, so don't conclude that everyone that is charming is a narcissist. So you provide the mild admiration he invites and enjoy what seems like his valuable, and limited attention. He'll applaud your looks, your possessions, your style, or intelligence or creativity, or whatever quality he senses is a vulnerable one for you. Many of us probably can pull the biggest offenders out of a line up, but without the education that comes from experience we can't identify most everyday narcissists. There is not one among us who is perfect, who has absolutely no issues left over from childhood.
He explains that when celestial bodies elevate to a level not self-sustainable they create vacuums around them which feed off and destroy surrounding celestial bodies. Therefore, even though this article has been positioned for women, I also urge males in destructive relationships past or present to read this article in order to understand narcissism.
This plays to the narcissist's advantage, causing you to get quickly involved in a deeper fashion than you'd be likely to do if you could remember to take your time.
Every day narcissists are everywhere and lacking awareness, we fall for them -- for their charm, for their attractive qualities for being made to feel special, for attempting to grasp their elusive attention. The demands and expectations escalate and the narcissist is rarely content, appeased and fulfilled.
Importantly I will state narcissistic enmeshment and damage can occur in any relationship in life.
Anyone who has been in love with a narcissist will testify that the experience left them lifeless.
The good news is that you can also grow to be more aware and watch for telltale narcissist red flags and avoid this type of relationship before it happens at all.

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