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Do you have healthy friendships with people who believe you can make it in the good times and the bad? What about those that are in an outer circle, but are extremely supportive, and excited about you and your marriage? We have to make the choices, not just for our personal relationships, but also for the relationships that influence our marriages. We made it to week three and chapter three of The Seven Principles for making marriage work! This week, we start getting into the exercises and principles to help move our marriages in a positive direction. This chapter listed for different exercises to help begin building your love map with your spouse. As we continue further on, you will realize that this book is very exercise heavy, and will be much more helpful if you participate with the material. But there is something about us being in one another’s presence that makes my wife happy. Over the years, Gottman  has paid attention to signs that lead him to believe that a couple will divorce.
One signal of a rocky conversation that can lead down the path to divorce is a harsh startup. The four horseman are four types of negativity that can mess with your marriage. Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Criticism isn’t the worst of the four horsemen, but it does open up the door to the other three, so watch out for it.
Defensiveness is when you blame the other spouse, which is easy to do when a conversation gets heated.
Flooding means that your spouse’s negativity- whether in the guise of criticism or contempt or even defensiveness- is so overwhelming, and so sudden, that it leaves you shell-shocked.
The four horsemen, and flooding make it more difficult for a couple to respond to repair attempts. The last determining factor for Gottman’s research in predicting a divorce was sour memories.
The first time I read this this book I was frustrated and disheartened after this chapter. I noticed a lot of these things in Lisa and my marriage which Bummed. The post 5 ways to Make Stupendous Love in Your Marriage appeared first on Stupendous Marriage. We are spending several weeks reading John Gottman's 'The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work'. When we have a healthy thriving marriage, our immune systems get a positive kick in the pants. Of course, that is why he wrote this book – to fill us in on what really works to help marriages thrive. Gottman suggests that being friends in marriage is at the center of making a marriage work. When the positivity in a marriage is greater than the negative – it supports a good marriage. Those marriages that believe in one anothers’ dreams and aspirations develop a deeper connection and meaning with their spouse. The post 6 Stumbling Blocks to a Stupendous Marriage appeared first on Stupendous Marriage. In today’s culture, is that even possible? The news would have us believe that couples are cheating, divorcing and falling apart left and right! Whether you believe that story or not, the truth remains that it takesmore than one person to fill all the needs in our lives.
I believe that my relationship with my spouse is the most important relationship I will have on this planet; however, if I make my mate the one and only center of my universe, my life is gonna be screwy.
Feelings come and go. To make your marriage last you have to be committed to your spouse no matter how you feel. The romantic feelings may come and go, but your feelings of togetherness and bondedness don’t have to stop. Have you acknowledged and dealt with your past  so it doesn’t negatively bind your marriage? The post Husbands: Have a Better Prayer Life by Working on Your Marriage appeared first on Stupendous Marriage. Whenever I read books about prayer, it makes me want to be a better pray-er, but I get frustrated because I’m no George Muller.
Somewhere into about my 30th book on marriage that I had read after a horrible vacation with our extended family, I picked up Gary Thomas’ Sacred Marriage. I had read the verse, but had never thought about what it meant for my marriage, or my prayer life.
These two things,  Prayer and marriage, help us realize we don’t have it all figured out.
When we were first married, I put our relationship on the back burner. I assumed all would be amazing after we stood at the altar. I let things coast until year five when we went on that vacation from hell I mentioned earlier. I felt like praying, and when I did, I began to notice things I prayed about… found answers. Your inlaws will be crazy, or you will think they are crazy because they don’t understand you.
Your kids will love, hate, disrespect, whine, throw up on you, hug you, smile at you (sometimes all of these within a matter of 10 minutes). We keep training our bodies to win the race and not looking back (Paul talks about that in 1 Corinthians 9). The post No Connection Outside the Bedroom – Episode 149 appeared first on Stupendous Marriage. The post When Should We Start Having Babies – Episode 148 appeared first on Stupendous Marriage. Stu says "Be Sneaky" about finding pockets of time for intentional connection with your spouse! Stu says “Be Sneaky” about finding pockets of time for intentional connection with your spouse!


A Question we recieved talked about couples having different schedules, so how do you find time to connect?
Stu says "Be Sneaky" about finding pockets of time for intentional connection with your spouse! On this episode of the Stupendous Marriage Show, Stu and Lisa talk about Inlaws that are causing issues in marriage. The post Inlaws Causing Issues In Marriage – Episode 144 appeared first on Stupendous Marriage. My husbands’ brother is unbearably rude, and every time I bring it up to my husband, he takes offense and defends his brother! I don’t want to strain our marriage over this, but should I just continue to bite my tongue indefinitely?
Currently the Mayor of London, he previously served as the Member of Parliament for Henley-on-Thames and as editor of The Spectator magazine. Johnson was educated at the European School of Brussels, Ashdown House School, Eton College and Balliol College, Oxford, where he read Literae Humaniores. On his father's side Johnson is a great-grandson of Ali Kemal Bey, a liberal Turkish journalist and the interior minister in the government of Damat Ferid Pasha, Grand Vizier of the Ottoman Empire, who was murdered during the Turkish War of Independence.[5] During World War I, Boris's grandfather and great aunt were recognised as British subjects and took their grandmother's maiden name of Johnson.
Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix, and stay conscious.
He wrote an autobiographical account of his experience of the 2001 election campaign Friends, Voters, Countrymen: Jottings on the Stump. Johnson is a popular historian and his first documentary series, The Dream of Rome, comparing the Roman Empire and the modern-day European Union, was broadcast in 2006.
After being elected mayor, he announced that he would be resuming his weekly column for The Daily Telegraph. After having been defeated in Clwyd South in the 1997 general election, Johnson was elected MP for Henley, succeeding Michael Heseltine, in the 2001 General Election. He was appointed Shadow Minister for Higher Education on 9 December 2005 by new Conservative Leader David Cameron, and resigned as editor of The Spectator soon afterwards. A report in The Times[22] stated that Cameron regarded the possible affair as a private matter, and that Johnson would not lose his job over it.
The Conservative Party hired Australian election strategist Lynton Crosby to run Johnson's campaign.
Johnson pledged to introduce new Routemaster-derived buses to replace the city's fleet of articulated buses if elected Mayor. I believe Londoners should have a greater say on how their city is run, more information on how decisions are made and details on how City Hall money is spent. Ken Livingstone presides over a budget of more than ?10billion and demands ?311 per year from the average taxpaying household in London.
Under my Mayoralty I am certain that London will be judged as a civilised place; a city that cares for and acknowledges its older citizens.
The Mayor’s biggest area of responsibility is transport, and I intend to put the commuter first by introducing policies that will first and foremost make journeys faster and more reliable. Sometimes, reading quotations will give us inspiration and help us recover from our sadness. We talk sex, kids, inlaws, money, communication and anything else about building a stupendous marriage.
They answer listener question about marriage issues and highlight great writers, thinkers and speakers who are passionate about marriage and healthy relationships. This chapter asks "how well do you know your spouse?" - and shows us how to do that better. When life happens and your world is rocked (it’s not an IF, but a WHEN), one of the MAIN ways to help during that season is to have invested the time and energy with them to be connected to their world. I went looking online to see if I could find some resources to help, if you haven’t read the book, or purchased it yet to read along. Even if your spouse doesn’t participate, I would challenge you to do as much as you can on your own. It’s one of the original books on marriage that helped me begin this blog and podcast.
This means starting conversations on a negative note – with anger, criticism or sarcasm. You feel so defenseless against this sniper attack that you learn to do anything to avoid a replay. If a spouse does not respond well to a repair attempt, The four horsemen trample the conversation.
Meaning, if you do something fun and novel with your spouse, you feel more connected to them because your brain has released chemicals of excitement and bonding at the same time.
This relates to the adventure element from above – take up hobbies with your spouse, or learn to enjoy some of the things that they love. His “love lab” being an apartment of sorts where he actively spies on couples and records their behaviours!
I know we are all wired for relationships – not just in marriage, but this very important relationship that we live out day after day has so much to do to help or hinder our physical health.
We talk a lot about learning how to communicate as a couple, but Gottman says that that is not the basis of good marital therapy or even super helpful for couples! When negative feelings get to be greater than the positive feelings, it takes more work to get back to the positive side of things. The movement can be cute or funny, or something completely unique, but it is an active attempt to deescalate. Even in re-reading this first chapter, I have forgotten many things in the years since I read it the first time! Yet, the longer I’ve been married the more I see how easy it is to lose your footing on the foundations of your marriage. Being a guy who is trying to align his life with the Bible, I tend to go back to the story about Adam and Eve.
It comes when we together as husband and wife believe we are engaged in a relationship that makes a difference and has meaning. When we start comparing our marriage to other marriages, we set our relationships up for failure. You also need to keep growing yourself which will make YOU more interesting to your spouse!
Where can you take the time to go deep with your spouse and solve something that may seem complex?


That we need someone else to bounce ideas off of – or to give us a good swift kick in the right direction. A learning (and relearning) to be humble with that person who shares the same bed with you. If you work on your marriage, it forces you to get out of isolation and actually talk to that other person in the relationship. You only feel like you are because you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. I’m sure Lisa will want to chime in in a later episode, but today, its just my answer!
In reference to his cosmopolitan ancestry, Johnson has described himself as a "one-man melting pot" — with a combination of Muslims, Jews and Christians comprising his great-grandparentage.[6] His father's maternal grandmother, Marie Louise de Pfeffel, was a descendant of Prince Paul of Wurttemberg through his relationship with a German actress. They have two sons—Milo Arthur (born 1995) and Theodore Apollo (born 1999)—and two daughters—Lara Lettice (born 1993) and Cassia Peaches (born 1997).[13] Boris Johnson and his family currently live in Holloway, North London. In 1999 he became editor of The Spectator, where he stayed until December 2005 upon being appointed Shadow Minister for Higher Education.
He is also author of three collections of journalism, Johnson's Column, Lend Me Your Ears and Have I Got Views For You.
On 2 April 2006 it was alleged in the News of the World that Johnson had had another extramarital affair, this time with Times Higher Education Supplement journalist Anna Fazackerley. Yet Londoners have little confidence in the Mayor spending their money with care and prudence. It was here that David Cameron and all his supporters gathered to congratulate him on becoming Mayor of London. I wanted to reread some of those first books to renew my dedication to healthy marriage, and also to go deeper for myself. Gottman suggests that husbands do this more than wives, but it can happen to either spouse.
When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, they were kicked out of paradise where all their needs were met. We long to be part of something meaningful and for our lives to be engaged in something that makes a difference. A documentary about two brothers whose real life neighbor was Fred Rogers, and the impact Fred made in their life.
Likely during the writing of this very blog post Lisa will come in and ask me a question and I will half-heartedly give a response. Are you expecting God to heal areas that only He can – or are you trying to shoulder all the burden? He addressed feelings of fear and anger and confusion and identity – and he talked about them thru themes in his shows. You can stay locked in the past – bound by whatever it was, OR it can help you understand what your current hang ups might be.
She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. And (catch this) after a difficult first 5 years, most couple who stuck it out were happier and healthier than the 5 years previous. Through Prince Paul, Johnson is a descendant of King George II, and through George's great-great-great grandfather King James I a descendant of all of the previous British royal houses.
His comic first novel Seventy-Two Virgins was published in 2004,[16] and his next book will be The New British Revolution, though he has put publication on hold until after the London Mayoral election.[17] He was nominated in 2004 for a British Academy Television Award, and has attracted several unofficial fan clubs and sites.
In 2004 he was appointed to the front bench as Shadow Minister for the Arts in a small reshuffle resulting from the resignation of the Shadow Home Affairs Spokesman, Nick Hawkins. You can join in by purchasing the book and reading along with us, and leaving comments here or at the Facebook group.
Join in by purchasing the book and reading along with us, and leaving comments here or at the Facebook group. If anything is broken outside the bedroom, it usually reflects in the bedroom (with a lack of sex). He didn’t want to change us, he loved us as he found us everyday in front of the tube.
He would pray that God would make the ground between the tv set and where a child sat watching – Holy Ground. And when we take the time to think deeply, or slow down and have a conversation or just be in one anothers presence, we can connect in ways that aren’t possible when we are shallowly skimming the surface.
In 1995 a recording of a telephone conversation was made public revealing a plot by a friend to physically assault a News of the World journalist. He in turn, created a show where people were encouraged and built up – not made fun of.
Enjoy worship services together, talk to one another about dreams and visions for the future – your independent dreams and those you have together. His cardigans and shoe swapping let me know things were going to be ok, and he liked me just the way I was. Try to be the type of person worthy of their love and respect, instead of demanding it from them. Have you ever missed someone so much that even the thought of them made you burst into tears? Sometimes, ita€™s not just about missing someone, ita€™s wondering if theya€™re missing you too. If you cana€™t get someone off of your mind; Ita€™s because your mind always know what your heart is thinking. Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will. I need you because you make me laugh more than anyone else, and Ia€™m the best me when Ia€™m with you.



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