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Our own Hanna Rosin's new book The End of Men: And the Rise of Women is coming out next month, and the Atlantic is previewing it in its September issue with Hanna's piece about the so-called "hook-up culture" that has conservatives in a decade-long huff and much of the media in a sex panic. The typical assumption about hook-up culture is that it's something men imposed on women, exploiting modern contraceptives and sexual liberty to get away with having sex with women without having to commit or do anything icky, like pretend to like them. In other words, young women believe maintaining a boyfriend is so much work that it's impossible to have one while simultaneously building a career and a nonromantic social life—and that the latter two are higher priorities. If you want women to be more interested in long-term commitment, the best place to start is with fixing men. The narrative has always sat uneasily with me, as it's based on the presumption that women are so foul that men will only put up with them in order to get sex.


Which suggests that all the people who are so upset about hook-up culture are attacking it from the wrong angle. Men need to learn to be a value-add to the lives of their girlfriends, instead of a burden. 24, 2012: The original version of this post did not give credit to researchers Elizabeth Armstrong and Laura Hamilton.
So I was stoked to discover that Hanna's research led her to conclude that women aren't being victimized by delusions of feminism and the men taking advantage of them. Instead of scolding women for their self-defeating bed-hopping, they should be scolding men.


Traditionally, women are expected to spend a great deal of time on their men with tasks like ego-stroking, cleaning up after them, and plan-making. If men demand so much time and attention from girlfriends that those girlfriends can't have a life outside of the relationship, that suggests men are asking way too much of women.
Young women want romance in theory but find that in practice, relationships are more trouble than they're worth.



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