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Sometimes when I hear criticism of my husband, I want to come out of my seat and clock somebody. Ann Romney Quote“Sometimes when I hear criticism of my husband, I want to come out of my seat and clock somebody. One day when you are older and your children have started their own families and have moved to another city or state, or when your friends become elderly and pass away, your wife is the one who will still be right at your side. This word means to assign, to designate, to allocate, orA to intentionally give something to someone. It refers to a calculated decision to show attention, awareness,or consideration to someone else. In this case, it refers to a man purposefully showing attention to and consideration for his wife. However, as it is used here, it includesA the management of the house and everything that happens in that house. Because Peter uses the Greek wordA aponemo (a€?givinga€?), this strongly suggests that the husbanda€™s attention, awareness, and consideration dona€™t occur accidentally. Thus, a€?rulinga€? onea€™s household would include how a leader manages his home life, his children, the upkeep of the physical house or apartment where he lives, and his personal finances. All of this would be part of his oikos a€” his house.A Important information about how well potential leaders will serve at church or at work can beA ascertained by delving into these four points. He tells husbands that they are to give honor unto the wife as unto the a€?weaker vessel.a€?A The word a€?weakera€? does not mean inferior or substandard. One of the most strategic factors to consider when selecting new married leaders is the conditionA of their marriage. This is the Greek word asthenes, which actually carries the idea ofA something that is fragile and of great value, like a priceless, beautiful, hand-painted porcelain vase that must be treated with supreme care. She is to be given a place of high honor in his life, as if she were a fragile and priceless vessel.
Although you cana€™t make this a hard and fast rule, most often the children of potential leaders are a reflection of the kind of leadership those candidates are currently exercising in their own home.A Since people can impart only what they have in their private lives, it is good to observe what potential leaders have imparted within their own homes. If theya€™re not leading their own homes with excellence, why would you imagine they could lead an entire division of the ministry with excellence? When you and your wife approach a door, open the door for her and let her goA through the door first.
If you step through the door first and then let the door slamA in your wifea€™s face as she follows behind you, you give her the impression that sheA is of little value to you. When your wife walks up or down the stairs or when she gets in or out of the car,A show enough consideration for her to reach out and take her by the hand and helpA her. One thing is for sure: If a potential leader cana€™t decently take care of his own domain, youA dona€™t want to put him in charge ofA your domain. It tells a lot about his personal integrity, his character, and how he respects the rights of others. Instead of spending all the extra money on yourself, on your fishing trip, or on yourA personal pleasures, why not sacrifice a few of your own desires and give her thatA extra money to go do something for herself? When a person doesna€™t regularly pay hisbills on time, he inconveniences and upsets other peoplea€™s financial plans. When you give her a check or cashA and tell her to go buy something for herself, it will probably shock her!
This failure to keep financial commitments often reflects a lack of respect for othersa€™ needs and rights.A It also may simply be a sign that this person is immature in his understanding of money management and responsibility. But as sheA realizes that you are making a sacrifice of your own desires to bless her, it will sendA a gigantic signal that you love her and want to bless her.A 4. A persona€™s financial problems may also be an indicator that hea€™s experiencing problems in his marriage as well. Or perhaps his life is unstable due to irregular work conditions.A No matter which of these factors may be the cause for a candidatea€™s financial problems, they are all serious enough to require thoughtful consideration on your part.


SheA works hard to be beautiful for you, and it is only right that you acknowledge itA when she looks pretty.
Does this person have the time, energy, or maturity to handle a position of greater responsibility in your church, ministry, or organization?A Never forget that it is impossible to separate a persona€™s public life from his private life. What is in a potential leadera€™s personal life is exactly what he will bring into his public life.A If he has order and peace in his private life, it will give him a solidfoundation for public ministry. If you have sons, you are also providingA a good example to them of the way they should honor their own future wives.A 6. If this is the case, what do these things reveal about those people who are being consideredA for leadership at church, business, or organization? Since what is happening in my privateA life is exactly what I will bring into my public life, I want to bring more order into my ownA personal affairs. When you give her time that is completelyA undistracted, it lets her know that you want to be with her.
Help me take an honest look at my life so I can see those areas that desperatelyA need my attention. Once I acknowledge the areas that need fixing, please give me the courageA to delve into those areas and to get things right. When you are at work, remember to pick up the telephone to call her during the day,A just to let her know you are thinking about her. It doesna€™t take long for you to makeA a quick phone call, but that moment of consideration means a lot to your wifebecause it communicates to her how much you value her. The way I handle my familyA life, my children, my physical home, and my finances brings glory to Jesus Christ. I am seriousA about my walk with God, and I therefore invite Him to invade every sphere of my life and toA bring it under His Lordship.
If you always have time to be with everyone else butA never have time with her, you are sending her the message that she is the lowest priorityA in your life.
If you are seeking new leadership for the church, business, or organization, have you considered these deeper issues?
If you had considered this before selecting leaders in the past, do you think it would have helped you make better leadership choices?A 2.
So take a few minutesA every so often to write a little note or card and leave it for your wife to find.
Have you seen glaring problems in a potential leadera€™s home that you overlooked because his gifts and talents were needed? HowA much time and effort does it take for you to pick up an ink pen and a piece of paperA and write two or three sentences of appreciation to your wife? Did you later regret your choice because he brought many of those same problems to his job?A 3. Ita€™s a small investmentA of time and creativity that speaks volumes to your wife about your love for her.A 10. Always remember special dates, such as your wifea€™s birthday or your weddingA anniversary.
Men tend to forget these things, but these are special memories to aA wife and it means so much to her when these times are celebrated with her husband.A Also, dona€™t forget to buy her a gift for these occasions. If you do any of theseA eleven things, you are sending a wrong signal to your wife, for none of theseA actions will make her feel cherished and treasured by you. Even if she smiles and laughs, trying to shrug off your verbal jabs,A this kind of behavior on your part is deeply hurtful to your wife. If there is a conflict between you, wait until you get homeA where you can talk about it privately, but never make fun of her or put her downA in front of others. And I must ask you again, do you want her to point outA all your flaws in front of other people?
You would prefer that she speak to you privatelyA about such matters, so show her the same courtesy.A A 3.


Never tell your wife there isna€™t enough money in the budget for her to buy a new outfitA a€” and then turn right around and spend a lot of money on yourself, your fishingA trip, your hobbies, grills, tv's etc.
When she sees you do this, it communicates to her that youA love yourself more than you love her. When you consistently make time for everyone in your life except yourA wife, you are making a very big mistake.
If needed, cancel something in your scheduleA so you can give attention to this most important relationship in your life.A A 5.
Too often men act as if they are racing when they walk,A usually leaving their wives to walk five to fifteen feet behind them.
Now, I understandA that you may think your wife walks too slowly, but what is the use of racing in frontA of her if you must then stop, turn around, and wait for her to catch up with you? ItA takes the same amount of time to get to your destination, whether you walk alongsideA your wife or you walk ahead and then wait for her.
She wants to be the one and onlyA woman in your life, so comparing her to other women is not wise and shows greatA disrespect. Your sexual relationship is a time ofA intimacy that is to be shared only between the two of you.
Therefore, when youA make jokes about it or talk about it in front of others, you are humiliating your wifeA and making her feel cheap. This is certainly not a way to cherish her or to treat herA like a treasure!A 8.Never lie to your wife or tell a half-truth to cover your tracks.
If you violate her trust by lying to her and she discovers it,A your act of deception will affect her ability to trust you in the future.
It may be difficult for her to hear what you have to say, but at least she will know you are being honest with her. If she discovers you have been lying to her, this will result in a far greater hurt than if you honestly admit to her what you have done wrong.A 9. Men who consistently forget these twoimportant dates and yet expect their marriage relationship to stay healthy are either ignorant or stupid. As noted earlier, the word a€?givea€? describesA a calculated decision to show attention, awareness, or consideration to someone else. This pictures a purposeful and premeditated action by a husband to intentionally showattention and demonstrate consideration for his wife.A If these kinds of thoughtful acts dona€™t come naturally to you, ita€™s time for you to learn how to doA them.
The truth is that you showA kindness and consideration to other people, so youA can do the same for your wife as well.
After you talk to the Lord,A it is also important that you humble yourself and ask your wife to forgive you as well. Let the Holy Spirit teach you, correct you, and show you how to becomeA more sensitive to the woman you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. I accept responsibilityA for the role I have played in wounding her and making her feel unimportant. As I follow Your leading in this area, please heal my wifea€™s heart andA bring tenderness back into our relationship once more. I accept Your challenge to purposefullyA show the honor, attention, respect, and tenderness she deserves.
My wife feels loved, respected, esteemed, andA special because I do the things that communicate value to her. When is the last time you did something really extra special for your wife toA show her how much you love and care for her?A 2. Have you been guilty of jesting about your wife in front of others or of puttingA her down in front of the children?



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