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There’s just nothing like getting to see and hug and eat rice krispie treats with all of your favorite people at once. WebsiteLindy WestLindy West is a Seattle-based writer, editor, and performer whose work focuses on pop culture, social justice, humor, and body image.
THIS IS AN ALL-CAPS SUPER EXCITED COMMENT TO AN ALL-CAPS SUPER CRAZY-BEAUTIFUL, EMOTIONAL, FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC WEDDING POST!! My husband and I listened to Aham’s TAL segment while waiting for breakfast one morning on our first anniversary trip this past October. I’m glad that I’m not the only one that went WAIT, THE GUY FROM THE TAL PIECE MARRIED LINDY WEST?! Your dress is just so crazy creative and the photo with the kiss mark on the cheek is amaze! Ditto to everyone (gorgeous dress, beautiful wedding, loved TAL story…), but I wanted to point out that a pre-ceremony cocktail hour seems like a tradition that needs to happen.
For me (they’re beautiful for other people), processionals are the worst thing in the world. To play the media you will need to either update your browser to a recent version or update your Flash plugin. As a body-positive activist, it occurred to me pretty much immediately that my wedding was an opportunity to make a really bold (and potentially viral) political statement. I wanted to make a statement with my dress—I didn’t want to hide my body the way fat women are taught to. After about two months of uninterrupted blazing sun, the skies opened up and poured on our wedding day. I remember that episode of TAL so well and thought it was fantastic and brave as was the piece from the Guardian. I LOVED EVERY PHOTO, EVERY SMILE, THAT KISS MARK ON THE HUSBAND’S CHEEK, EVERY COLOR.

Love the body-positive discussion, all the colours in the wedding, and of course, Rice Krispie squares! As you said, your partner and your family will (should?) love you as you are and you shoudl be celebrated in whatever form you come in. I read and reread and reread the Guardian piece as I moved from pre-engaged to engaged, and it meant so much. I also totally listened to that episode of This American Life, I had no idea that was your husband!
I’d be hidden away behind a curtain or in some little side room while everyone is at my party but me.
Except we’re just going to mingle because we only have so many hours of alcohol service and we want to save them for after the ceremony. The worst case scenario is that I tell my dad I don’t want him walking me down the aisle (due to a lack of aisle like with you), then later feel bad and reverse on it once the damage has already been done.
I stopped letting diet culture control my life years ago, and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done for my mental health.
My friend Mark Mitchell and I came up with a strapless mermaid gown that hid nothing, simply because I thought it was beautiful. I’d been watching my weather app all week, alternating between rage, agony, and disbelief. I think I was the only person in my family who wasn’t trying to lose weight for *my* wedding. Thank you for sharing more gorgeous pictures and thoughts from the gorgeous, love-filled day!
People camped out in the woods and stayed overnight to have bagels and coffee and leftover desserts in the morning. I wanted to be the role model I never had as a fat teenager—a fat, happy, unselfconscious, beautiful bride.

On a less superficial note, I was so touched by the obvious love and sincerity of this momentous occasion. It doesn’t 100% fix my feelings, but it was the first idea that made me feel like it was possible for me to want a wedding. My career has been incredibly hectic over the past couple of years, and I don’t see people as much as I want to. I wanted to spend the months before my wedding celebrating with my fiance, traveling, eating and drinking, and fully enjoying the beautiful life we’ve built together.
The temperature, which had been in the eighties, dropped to a nice sixty-five-ish, so I wasn’t sweating in my dress (and photos!), and, magically, the only real rain fell during dinner when everyone was under the tent. So it felt really wonderful to get to reconnect with everyone I love in such a joyous, fun way (and capture it all on film!). I never thought I’d be able to marry my hot best friend and have fun and feel wanted every day of my life. I ate the foods I normally eat, worked out the way I normally work out, and was able to spend those important months focusing on the things that were really important to me instead of just obsessing over my measurements. How amazing that people traveled from so far to celebrate and support the two of you… I wish you two so much joy, love, and prosperity going forward in your life.
Aham asked me to marry him at a surprise party in front of all of our closest friends and family. May you continue to be a light for all of us that struggle to assert our beauty in a society that pushes us to conform to a narrow slice of beauty.
I’d been kept secret by so many men throughout my dating history, and he wanted to make sure I understood that he was proud to be with me.

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