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07.07.2014
1. PASSIVE COMMUNICATION is a style in which individuals have developed a pattern of avoiding expressing their opinions or feelings, protecting their rights, and identifying and meeting their needs.
As a result, passive individuals do not respond overtly to hurtful or anger-inducing situations.
2.   AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION is a style in which individuals express their feelings and opinions and advocate for their needs in a way that violates the rights of others. 3.   PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION is a style in which individuals appear passive on the surface but are really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind-the-scenes way. People who develop a pattern of passive-aggressive communication usually feel powerless, stuck, and resentful – in other words, they feel incapable of dealing directly with the object of their resentments.  Instead, they express their anger by subtly undermining the object (real or imagined) of their resentments. Assertiveness allows us to take care of ourselves, and is fundamental for good mental health and healthy relationships. If you have an idea for a podcast you would like to see or a question about an upcoming episode, e-mail me. When you finally summon up the courage to confront the person, do you use apologetic words such as “Sorry”, “I am afraid that”?
When approaching situations like this, we may be subconsciously sabotaging the situation by our use of language.
Assertive behaviour gives you the ability to have controlled conversations with others while respecting everyone’s needs. Here is a structure for helping you communicate more assertively and have a greater sense of control. Provide reasons: Make sure to present concise reasons that are directly related to your request. If you want to change someone’s behaviour use factual descriptions rather than your judgment or opinions. When you can express yourself freely without fear of others the whole organisation benefits enormously.
If you would like to discuss how assertiveness training or coaching could support you or your organisation, contact us today. Last month’s winner of the free prize draw was Ben Goddard, Chartered Civil Engineer at Mott McDonald. 46% of UK employees describe their working atmosphere as “bad” – the 2nd worst in Europe. January is an excellent opportunity to reflect on the previous year and plan for a successful 2014. At the first hint of corporate size or ambition, Chief Executives will usually create an Executive Board, and seek to design a formal strategy writes Tony Crouch, Outstand’s Risk and Strategy expert. Products electronically transferred are your acceptance to the terms and conditions of the license and usage as described.


Finding the middle ground between the two can be a tricky proposition, but with professional help from a psychologist you can achieve the right balance in your life. Assertiveness is relating or communicating with others in a way that is respectful of their rights and feelings, and not offensive; yet at the same time, allows you to openly communicate your thoughts, feelings and opinions. If you are passive in the way you communicate, you are probably too afraid of what the other party might think or feel – thus you withhold certain thoughts, beliefs and feelings which you feel might make the other party upset. If this occurs repeatedly over time, this can cause you to become depressed or anxious about relating to others. This might lead to others avoiding or not listening to you – which in turn affects your relationships and whether things get achieved at all. It is highly probable that a lack of assertiveness has meant that you tend to go along with and agree with another’s thoughts and feelings. On the other hand, being too aggressive can lead to the loss of relationships, or the inability to make new friends. A trained psychologist is able to help you work through the interpersonal difficulties which stem from lack of assertiveness.
People find that being more assertive allows them to feel empowered in life – they are more comfortable with who they are and their personal relationships. Furthermore, studies have shown that an increase in assertiveness is associated with feeling less depressed, and lower levels of substance abuse. Joey Tai is an endorsed Clinical Psychologist, with a passion for helping clients to develop and maintain positive relationships. Please call 1800 877 924 to make an appointment or book Clinical Psychologist Joey Toey online. Appointments AvailableAre you looking for a Brisbane Psychologist with Appointments Available Now? Prisoners of War (POWs) often act in passive-aggressive ways to deal with an overwhelming lack of power. Or do you suddenly explode because pressure has built up over the past few months and you end up using emotionally charged sentences? In this article, we’ll be looking at how you can change your language to achieve more effective outcomes.
They show this by boosted ego, show-off, need to build an empire, bragging about monetary wealth, having ‘yes-men’ followers and so on.
Use the following simple step-by-step procedure to deliver your messages and requests assertively. By using “I” you put the focus on yourself and how their behaviour has affected you which is of course what you are entitled to report. We complain today more than ever before in history but few of our complaints get us the results we want.


Assertive training may also help one to recover the daily unpleasantness experienced at home workplace, school, colleges due to certain behavior exhibited by friends, teachers parents etc. What happens as a result of this is that your own personal communicative needs are not met, and this could lead to you feeling frustrated, disappointed or angry with yourself. Once again, this might lead to feelings of frustration and disappointment, and over time, develop into depression and general anxiety when relating to others. Once again, this could have a detrimental effect on self-esteem, as there is a tendency for the individual to blame themselves in these situations. If you are tired of not being able to communicate effectively and need some help in being more assertive, now is the time to make a change! But once they have reached their high tolerance threshold for unacceptable behavior, they are prone to explosive outbursts, which are usually out of proportion to the triggering incident. POWs may try to secretly sabotage the prison, make fun of the enemy, or quietly disrupt the system while smiling and appearing cooperative. They don’t seem to initiate debates and if they have something in mind, however useful for others, they may keep it to themselves. In fact it can be quite fulfilling and satisfying as you can go on to express yourself the way you want to. All leaders should be aware of their skills, abilities and knowledge and take leadership opportunities when they arise.
This product may not be re-sold, distributed, stored in a database or retrieval system, downloaded, except by written permission from the publisher. You might focus on pleasing others, to the extent that you feel unfulfilled in your own life. Appointments with our Brisbane psychologists are available from 8am to 8pm; including Saturday and Sunday. Our reception hours are usually 9am to 8pm Monday to Friday, and 9am to 4pm Saturday and Sunday. After the outburst, however, they feel shame, guilt, and confusion, so they return to being passive. These individuals value themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and are strong advocates for themselves while being very respectful of the rights of others.
Instead, the assertive style of communication will come to dominate, boosting the naturally shy to be more talkative and silencing the naturally aggressive to be more considerate and open to others’ ideas. Worst of all, this inability to relate to significant others may well have a detrimental effect on your personal relationships.



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