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30.04.2015
There are lots of ways to improve your self-confidence over the long-term – but sometimes you need an instant boost.
Most of us have a critical inner voice that tells us we’re stupid, not good enough, that we’re too fat, thin, loud, quiet… Being able to change that inner voice is key to feeling self-confident on the inside, which will help you project your confidence to the world.
Whatever the situation that’s causing you a crisis of self-confidence, you can help yourself immeasurably by holding yourself to your own standards alone.
Even if you’ve only got a minute or two, duck into the bathroom to make sure you’re looking your best. If you believe in a higher power, whether God, or another spiritual force, it can be a real boost to self-confidence to say a silent prayer. Keep your self-confidence up by taking gradual steps forwards, rather than freezing when faced with what seems like a giant leap. Have you ever sat through an entire class at college or meeting at work without saying a word?
About Latest Posts Ali LukeAli writes about personal growth and development on her blog, Aliventures. Sometimes people just drag their confidence downhill because they are always repeating negative thoughts to themselves and our thoughts define our reality. My confidence tip is to maintain a Universal Perspective, remember how small we all are and how fleeting our lives are. And I am also interested on speak slowly point, because all this time I have been speaking quickly. Confidence, I agree about the smile, in Chinese the character for confidence and faith are the same. Once you are comfortable saying the words to yourself, ask a friend to listen to you say the phrase.
There are certain things that people who know me, whether it’s as a personal friend or people who have just come to know me through social media, have started to associate me with.
I get text messages, for example, from time to time saying “just heard a Prince song and thought of you.” Those make me smile since, yes, I am admittedly a huge fan. But the thing I love more than either of these is when someone sends me a motivational or inspirational quote. So when someone emails me with a “just heard this quote and thought you’d like it…” I get pretty stoked.  First of all, the quote is probably going to be something that personally motivates me. And just as importantly, I’m thrilled that when the person heard it or read it they thought of me.
As you can imagine after reading the preamble to this article, this happened to me recently.
Lack of confidence, in our cases, will simply become a self-fulfilling prophesy: if you don’t believe a crowd will respond to you you’ll sound unsure which will only make it more likely that they don’t respond. So I return to that simple and concise saying over Tom Couglin’s desk and I urge you, dear reader, to live by these words.


You can’t walk into an important work meeting, (or a class at college or a room full of strangers at a party) whilst frantically re-reading a self-help manual, or making a last-minute phone call to your life-coach. You don’t just smile because you are happy and confident – you can smile to make yourself feel better. Give them your smile; you’ll almost certainly get one back, and being smiled at is a great self-confidence boost.
Make your inner voice a supportive friend who knows you fully but also recognizes your talents and gifts, and wants you to make the best of yourself. Other people have different values from you, and however hard you try, you’ll never please everyone all of the time.
Brushing your hair, giving your face a good wash, retouching your makeup, straightening your collar, checking you’ve not got a bit of parsley stuck between your teeth … all of these can make the difference between feeling confident in your physical appearance and feeling anxious about an imagined flaw.
Perhaps you spill your drink on someone, you arrive late for the big meeting because of traffic problems, or someone who you wanted to speak to gives you a cold brush-off. If you’re not sure what to do, look for one simple step that you can take to make progress.
If you gabble, you’ll end up feeling worse as you know you’re being unclear to your audience or to the person you’re in a conversation with. Have you had an evening out where friends chatted happily while you sat and stared silently at your drink?
By changing our inner voice and speak to ourselves in a more positive way, it will definitely boost our self confidence.
That brings up all of the feelings of success and confidence which at least put me in a positive space.
Taking an extra few moments to take a total account of appearance, loose ends, accessories etc, has made a huge difference for me.
This may at first feel intimidating but once you get past the ego and accept this, you will be able to rise above the Battle of the Egos out there and smile at it all (because it is all so, so silly) and this will give you immeasurable self-confidence. Up until now- I thought that a sign of intelligence was being able to speak quickly, as if you know everything about the topic that you were speaking about. I used to think that by speaking fast, you will picture urself as if you have command over what your are talking and shows your confidence. It suprises me how so many people complain about nothing, they’re warm, they have a roof over their heads, their healths fine.
I find that expecting myself to do a piece of work and expecting to do it successfully is critical when it comes to saying no to the inevitable distractions that the mind throws up to derail my efforts.
If you want to start to speak out and be heard, you have to practice hearing your own voice first.
I also get phone calls and texts when my beloved Cowboys are losing which doesn’t exactly make me as happy as the Prince messages do.
I really enjoy these and I tend to weave them into my everyday conversations and as well as my seminars and articles on a regular basis.


Whether it’s DJing someone’s special event or presenting a seminar to my industry peers, these eight simple words are something I live by. I’ve never really believed the saying that it’s the number one fear for most people (over drowning? It can lead to forgetting all the things we used to do that made us great (and gave us confidence in the first place) and if there’s anything worse than a timid performer it’s a cocky performer who ain’t all that. Take the essential steps in rehearsing what you are going to say as well as previewing the music you are going to play.
The act of smiling is so strongly associated with positive feelings that it’s almost impossible to feel bad while smiling. Don’t worry that people will think you’re too overweight, underweight, too feckless, too boring, too frugal, too frivolous … hold yourself to your standards, not some imagined standards belonging to others. That might mean making eye contact at a party, introducing yourself to a stranger, breaking the ice in a meeting, or asking a question of your interviewers that shows your knowledge of their industry and company. Chances are, you weren’t feeling very self-confident at the time – and you probably felt even worse afterwards.
As a corporate trainer, the first the my audience perceived was the image I presented to them…followed by my presentation.
But that is so wrong, I was often told by people to slow down, never thought that my fast pace is sounding like jibberish to them. We should be able to enjoy the lush things, a plunge in a pool, an ice cream, life’s a sensual experience.
And you build up your affirmations and their strength overtime you get into a power mode that you can’t conceive of today. We need to be confident that the next song we are about to play will work.  We need to confident that when we ask a crowd to do something they’ll respond. We start believing that it’s all about our talent and we can flip the switch on the mic and words of wisdom will suddenly flow. And remember that commonly-held values and standards vary from society to society: you don’t have to accept them just because the people around you do. If you’re giving a talk or presentation, pause at the end of phrases and sentences to help your audience take in what you’ve said. Even if you don’t think you have much to say, your thoughts and perspective are valuable to those around you. Make them the centre of your being and who you are, when you invest who you are into something it’s something deep like your identity, so your bound to go at things with enthusiasm then. Practice saying it out loud in front of the mirror until you really start to hear yourself saying the words.



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