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28.03.2015
The Voice Dialogue Online Program enables you to understand the origins of low self-esteem and lack of confidence.
The role of your Inner Critic is to act as a kind of internal policeman and have you follow the rules of your family, society and culture so that you will “fit in” and be accepted. The way to overcome this self-sabotaging behaviour is to learn how to separate from your Inner Critic, find the rules that it is trying to enforce, and then consciously decide whether there is any merit in them. I wonder what other people would think of me if they really knew what I was like underneath.
When I think about self-improvement I feel that there is something wrong with me that needs to be fixed. The Inner Critic is just one of several inner voices that can influence our lives in a negative way. If you build a positive image of self you develop a higher level of self esteem, and you will naturally move into inspired, courageous acts to make your dream come true.
You will likely encounter uncomfortable situations as you work on building your self esteem. When I served my mission in Chile there was a day that I was extremely frustrated and down on myself. In the article I published on ‘growing your confidence’, I started by explaining that self-esteem and confidence are different and that in order to grow your confidence, you do need a certain amount of self-esteem (hence the birthing of this post) so let’s explore how to build your self esteem.
There are a number of reasons why people have poor self-esteem and the impact upon the life of someone with a damaged sense of self can be devastating. Generally speaking, people with poor self-esteem will have had challenging, often traumatic childhoods.
There are many posts written about confidence and self-esteem but they often leave out the missing pieces of a very complex jigsaw.
People with poor self-esteem tend to make poor choices that are not in their best interests reflecting the poor choices that were made about them. It gives you a simple, clear strategy for increasing self-esteem, building confidence and leading a happier, more fulfilling life.
With so many of them to follow, your Inner Critic is in a constant state of anxiety and always on your case. This Voice Dialogue Online Program will show you how you can take charge of these voices and lead a less-stressful, more empowered life.
You need to believe to achieve, meaning you can’t possibly achieve anything in life unless you build up your self-esteem. You might be forced to analyze your doubts, your blocks, your limiting beliefs, and the root core of your self esteem issues. People who lack faith in themselves are arrogant, smug, scared individuals, who feel the need to tell everybody how wonderful they are.
Maybe they don’t achieve much, or someone attempts to down them, and based on these situations, this crowd paints a poor image of self.
They will feel that they are not valid, that they are the problem and the communication that they grew up with will have endorsed this view. Recovery from a damaged sense of self to enable a healthy esteem to develop requires the person in question to make some sense of what happened to them. Healing from this can take years so starting today might be the best thing you ever did for yourself.


You might well be familiar with sentences like ‘you’re useless’ or ‘you always get that wrong’ and you may believe that that is how people speak to other people and to themselves. The idea is to be able to express yourself without being aggressive (I’m more than important than you) or passive (you’re more important than me). A lack of acceptance means that not only are we super critical of who we are but also of who others are too so we end up in a spiral of relationships that just keep affirming that no-one is good enough. Often we simply stop doing these things as adults but they can often be the ‘thing’ that gives us the most joy and connection with self and others. You arrived into this world ready to love and be loved because that is what we as humans do.
Adverts set the standard for how you should look, what you should wear, how you should smell, what you should eat, how you should relax. It is easy to see why “should” and “shouldn’t” are two of your Inner Critic’s favourite words - sometimes whispered sotto voce, sometimes bellowed full force.
Instead of your foe, your Inner Critic transforms into a trusted adviser and friend, and the self-sabotaging stops. You will discover how you can befriend your Inner Critic and deal effectively with the underlying vulnerabilities that fuel its anxiety. You might have low self-esteem if you grew up around people who carried a poor image of self.
But you need to set aside specific time to engage in personal development daily to reach this point, as your mental tools can’t fix themselves.
Visualizing helps you change the image, from a low energy view to a high energy, high self esteem view. Telling someone who has poor self-esteem to ‘let the past go’ or ‘just accept’ or ‘move on’ is tantamount to continuing the view that “you are the problem”. Often that involves understanding that what other people did, was about them and it was not your fault! This takes practice so you might need to calmly do this in the mirror when no-one is around. When we start to accept our ‘humanness’ it follows that we start to accept that about other people too and relationships with others can thrive more in this context which in turn helps us feel a sense of belonging and acceptance from others.
You don’t have to perpetuate the trauma through adulthood and have half a life defined by what has happened to you. For whatever reason, you are in a situation where you have to do that for yourself and recover from whatever happened that caused you to believe you are not worthy. Films show you the perfect male and female physiques, the perfect way to kiss and make love, the perfect romantic relationship you should have. Life literally unfolds according to how you view yourself, for how you choose to view yourself is how people choose to see you. On the other side of the terrible feeling is freedom, freedom to be whomever you want to be and to achieve whatever you intend to achieve. You see other people doing amazing things, people who believe in themselves, and you realize that you, too, can reach your goals and live your dreams. Seeing these people achieve great things can help you, too, to reach greatness in your life.
Until this is fully understood, developing a healthy sense of self is at best going to be superficial and at worst can create more damage.


This language is damaging to yourself and if you use it towards other people, it is damaging to them.
If you think you can stop doing it by yourself, then stop doing it and we’ll go from there.
Personal development programmes exhort you to be more sensitive, more assertive, more sensual, more aware….. If you view yourself in a poor light, you lower the bar for yourself, lowering your self esteem in the process.
As you work on your inner world an amazing things happens: you begin to attract the ideas to become successful.
Surround yourself with people who pick you up, people who believe in themselves and believe in you, too. The outside world is merely a reflection of the inside world, meaning that how you choose to think about yourself is mirrored back to you through your results. Starting this process will involve using your new found awareness to notice when you reach for your ‘medication’.
Ask yourself the question in the morning when you wake up and note it in your journal “if I had the life I would love to have, what would it look like?” Observe any changes over time when answering this daily while incorporating the other changes and understandings.
People proceed to view you in a low energy, poor light, treating you exactly how you choose to view yourself.
This means shutting off the TV, turning off the computer and turning off your cell phone, as you go about working on your inner world.
Your life will become so much easier if you surround yourself with high energy, confident people. You know it’s simply a matter of time before you reach your goal, before you live your dreams. Write down the sentences once you become aware of them and next to them, write down the opposite. The secret is no secret: how you choose to view yourself determines how other people treat you. You believe more in your self, and you proceed to move into consistent, inspired action, to make your dreams vivid, thrilling realities. Visualizing is a great secret to success, as when you generate a preview of what is to come, you gain confidence in your abilities and boost your self esteem.
You won’t want too as it will feel uncomfortable but at first you can imagine they are for someone else. After seeing yourself reach your goals a few times you gain full confidence that the goal is yours, and you instantly feel better about yourself.
You spent serious time each day honing your mental tools, dissolving your blocks and becoming free. You feel that you reached the goal already, and knowing this, your self esteem should grow significantly, quite quickly.



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