Building confidence for dummies 8th,the secrets to success eric thomas pdf chomikuj,2014 victorias secret fashion show hozier - You Shoud Know

29.10.2013
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People often talk about confidence and self-esteem together, but they're actually very different. A good way to think about the difference is that self-esteem is an internal experience and confidence is an external experience. So confidence is the way that we feel about interacting and engaging with something external, whether it's talking and relating to others or doing something in our world; whereas self-esteem is a reflection of our own inner sense of self value, regardless of the external circumstances around us. If we lack confidence in any area of our life but our self-esteem is good it will act as a kind of a buffer, or a solid foundation.
People who have very low self-esteem are almost always ultra-critical of themselves, they have a raging inner critic and continually put themselves down, and even when they achieve something really quite significant, they never reward themselves. If you recognize that you have low self-esteem here's a really useful exercise that you might find helpful. This doesn't mean that people who have good self-esteem won't be confident, or that people who are confident won't also have good self-esteem, but it's not always the case. Confidence can be learned and is very specific, we don't actually need to feel confident about everything and that's ok, but a lack of self-esteem can cause much greater difficulty in our lives.


We will feel more resilient and more able to try something and regardless of the outcome still feel good about ourselves.
They never allow themselves to digest or own or celebrate the good experiences that they generate and create in their lives.
They are frequently incredibly supportive of others and yet don't offer themselves the same level of support and regard.
Some people have very good self-esteem and yet lack in confidence whilst others are incredibly confident but have very low self-esteem, in fact if someone is extremely confident then low self-esteem can be very well hidden. Self-esteem relates to the way that we feel about ourselves, it's a reflection of our inner sense of self value and entitlement, whereas confidence is a reflection of the way that we experience ourselves in our external world, in our relationships with other people and with situations and circumstances. We might feel confident in our working relationships and yet not in our closer, more intimate encounters; confident within certain social settings and yet not at all in others.
And not only do they not reward themselves but they don't receive compliments easily either. Even if a child is encouraged to have a go and confidence is built, if achievement is never recognized and celebrated then the feel good factor will be missing and the outcome won't be internally consolidated. For many people the things that they say to themselves would reduce a child to a place of absolute distress and despair within minutes and yet bizarrely we do this to ourselves all of the time!!


Confidence is also something we can learn, like a skill, and the more we do, the more our confidence will grow. However if we have bags of confidence but very low self-esteem then regardless of a successful outcome we very rarely feel good about our achievements. It's interesting that the things we say to someone else are very often a million miles away from what we might be say to ourselves. So for example, if I lack the confidence to cook, I could do a cookery course and overcome my difficulties but if my self-esteem is low, even if I became a confident cook and incredibly good at it, I might never acknowledge my achievement or place any value on it.
If your inner critic is a default position that you slide into easily then this may take a few practice runs. Despite being confident the feel good factor is missing and my poor self-esteem will remain. The key here is that if you do slip into a default position, it's really important not to then criticize yourself for doing this, be supportive of your learning process, and because people with low self-esteem very rarely reward themselves when you notice your inner critic and when you press the pause button, please validate and acknowledge yourself.



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