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Note: When you click on one of these links and purchase literature, a portion of the sale may go to support the website. Our families will not appreciate the change NA is working in our lives unless we show them. In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure.
The answer to the problem of alcoholism seems to be in education–education in schoolrooms, in medical colleges, among clergymen and employers, in families, and in the public at large. The way still isn’t easy every Step we take, but we will find happiness in those fleeting moments when we can get outside of ourselves long enough to be fully attentive to the people in our lives.
The real truth is that we have no complete explanation for the world’s individual and social wrongs. Laughter, like a drenching rain, settles the dust, cleans and brightens the world around us, and changes our whole perspective. Today I need to remember that discussion is the better path to follow.  I need to hear and understand what the other person is saying and from where they are coming.
We were always more than surprised when they seemed to pass more quickly by staying busy, just a our parents had said it would. Forgiving yourself means you can leave places that feel bad, you can end relationships that no longer work, you can avoid situations that cause you continual pain and grief. Even the most accomplished pianists begin at some point by playing simple scales and exercises.
A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours.
If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.
If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her. If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours. People’s lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too.
Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn’t. After sending my material off, I waited an appropriate amount of time, then began checking the mail.
As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might. Sadly, we become more tense, more limited in our own joy, by holding someone else to our expectations. On the Back TableThe fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous is a 12-step program based on our literature. Enabling JavaScript in your browser will allow you to experience all the features of our site. We go to a meeting every day, we spend every evening with our friends in the fellowship, and every weekend we dash off to a service workshop. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. Every thought you have can be part of a continuous prayer and everything you do can be your practice of healing. The continual search for answers to life’s ups and downs can lead us to question all aspects of our lives.

Nonetheless, I will have faith in the God of my understanding and continue on the journey of recovery. The easier, softer way is to take these Steps to freedom from our fatal disease, and to put our faith in the Fellowship and our Higher Power. From cradle to grave, the drunk and the potential alcoholic will have to be completely surrounded by a true and deep understanding and by a continuous barrage of information.
Heretofore, much of this education has attacked the immortality of drinking rather than the illness of alcoholism.
Seldom do we readily accept that painful moments are often the price tags for peaceful, happy times.
We’re taught that if someone treats us wrong, we still should be respectful in our response. Today, I’ll read pages 60-62 of Alcoholics Anonymous(Third Edition) about being self-centered.
While certain individuals are admittedly guilty of wrongdoing, it often turns out that they’ve also been victims of cruelty or neglect. Perhaps we think of our day’s work and the chances it may afford us to be useful and helpful, or of some special problem that it may bring. For too long I have argued, fought and produced enemies – today I wish to embrace the spiritual path of serenity and reconciliation. Lord, may I freely give without expectation of something in return even though I know Your constant generosity. As adults, we hear that in many instances the only way to conquer a problem is to wait it out.
Nature is the greatest university when we want to learn about balance, harmony, the Natural Laws and how to live life. With daily practice, their hands learn to find the correct notes and become limber enough to play well. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative behavior, that is their issue, not ours. If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that person’s property. Everyone I knew in skydiving was pushing through the course, meeting all their requirements, and hurrying to get their license. We say we aren’t going to have contact with our parents until they do something we expect of them. Until then, there are pieces of straight-grained wood, shavings, a round bottom, and metal bands, but there is no barrel.
While such an order can be initially restricting, perhaps even feel artificial in its arbitrariness, it is absolutely necessary. Please feel free to take a look at our Information Pamphlets (IP's), The Basic Text and It Works How and Why by clicking the linked icons below.
When we do this, the people we share our lives with are sure to notice the change and be grateful that we’ve found NA.
No matter how difficult the road becomes, no matter how narrow, how winding the turns, there is hope.
As our relationship with our Higher Power unfolds and deepens, acceptance becomes almost second nature.
Each mind is so different, actuated by such different motives, controlled by such different circumstance, influenced by such different sufferings, you cannot know all the influences that have gone to make up a personality.
Maybe the moralists are right and happiness doesn’t come from seeking pleasure and ease. Nor do we appreciate that happiness lives within each of us; never is it intrinsic to the events we experience.

Our goal, as people committed to a spiritual way of life, is to reise above all blame placing while striving for improvement in our own treatment of others. Possibly today will see a continuation of a serious and as yet unresolved problem left over from yesterday. Usually it is because I feel threatened, angry, discounted or I am wrong and I do not want to admit it. We can do nothing else, for no matter how important the awaited event or the news is, we can no more shorten the time than we could wish a speedy arrival of our birthdays when we were young.
I thought if I kept coming, the guy in charge of lights would turn mine on, and then I would possess and understand serenity! They learn each new piece of music very slowly at first, until, with study and practice, they can play almost without effort.
Like the musician, we become talented through daily practice – the daily building of a dream. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business. I proudly announced, whenever asked about getting my license, that I didn’t plan on having it until June. Don’t they understand how important our meetings, our service, and our involvement with the fellowship are? It was a dilemma unlike anything I had ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary one if I was to succeed in this program. No matter what happens as we walk through recovery, we rely on our faith in a loving Higher Power and continue onward. Being truly there for another person is the key, which unlocks the gate holding happiness back. Our immediate temptation will be to ask for specific solutions to specific problems, and for the ability to help other people as we have already thought they should be helped. We may even resist forgiving ourselves because we think that means saying we were bad and wrong.
Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what’s ours. This was a sport I needed to get right, and getting it right meant that I needed to learn at my own pace.
Perhaps at the end we will not need such structure, but neither will we reach the end without the means. Therefore, we must rely on other agencies, on outside friends and their willingness to supply great amounts of money and effort. But not forgiving ourselves when we need to often leads us to return to situations that are unhealthy for us. Until they are held tightly together as a single unit, there is no completeness, and usefulness will not be forthcoming.
I consider before I react.  However, when I do get into arguments and say hurtful and painful things that I do not mean, I am brave enough to say I am sorry. I have come to the point where I now know that no matter what happens, things will eventually work out for the best for me. All the pieces of our personality, no matter how perfectly formed, only enclose what is inside us. All spiritual practice, while it may bind us into a cohesive whole, points to the emptiness of the center.

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