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02.01.2016
As I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts, in the past I’ve been commissioned by a couple of matchmaking websites to write about the hilarity that ensues in the world of online dating. However, in the course of this brief journey I did get the chance to interview several women who do engage in online dating on a regular basis.
But the one complaint I consistently heard from my interviewees is that at some point during the first date, a fair share of their gentlemen callers decided it was a good idea to…um…how can I put this and still keep it a family show…flash them their junk. Yes, apparently quite a few men out there think part of the getting-to-know-you process involves dropping trou, as if he were proudly showing off his shiny new Camaro, or more apropos, his Beanie Baby collection.
After being enlightened by my new online dating lady friends, I got to thinking (which is always a dangerous thing). Except by then you’ve invested all that time (in terms of dates) leading up to the moment of disappointment, er…I mean truth.
Ninety percent of the women in my online dating poll chose the latter option, but each admitted she’d come up with some lame excuse in order to skirt the truth. Then shake his hand and get the hell out of there, knowing that’s one less uncomfortable conversation you’ll have to have three or four dates down the road…giving you valuable extra time to do really important things like oil your wood floors or trim your Bonsai bush. For more of Stacy’s comedy check out her book Confessions of a Band Geek Mom available in bookstores and on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.
Many singles rely on online dating websites to find a new healthy dating relationships or even marriage. A Huffington Post article highlights why the companies reached the agreement with the California Attorney General. Online dating is a bit different from traditional dating in that you are never really sure the person with whom you are communicating online is the person you will meet in real life. Let someone know that you will meeting another online dating single – this will ensure that someone else knows where you are and is available if you need them.
What are your thoughts on these online dating companies screening clients who create listings or personal ads on their online dating websites?
This online dating advice might sound like common sense, but when you’re really desirous for a relationship you may be tempted to let your standards slide.
Online dating coach Kimberly Koehler is the leading online dating expert who teaches singles how to successfully digitally date. I wrote a few funny articles on the subject (from an outsider’s perspective), but when it came down to actually signing up and documenting my escapades, I drew the line.
But even if I were, it just seems a little too weird to be lining up dates as part of my job. In the name of full disclosure, what’s wrong with letting a man show you his jumblies on the first date?
Even when she’s dressed he can tell how big her breasts are, her hip size, basically the entire shape of her body.
And if you subscribe to your mama’s dogma (“A good girl does NOT put out on the first date”) it could take several dates before you get around to seeing the equipment a guy has to work with. In Season 7 of Seinfeld there was an episode entitled “The Sponge” in which Elaine’s favorite form of birth control is taken off the market. Once you exchange pleasantries online, meet the guy at Starbucks for chitchat over Chai lattes.


She’s also an award winning keynote speaker and stand-up comic who gave up the glamorous life of coach travel, smokey comedy clubs, and heckling drunks for the glamourous life of raising kids (who happen to be bigger hecklers than the drunks). The point being you can’t find innovators via a dating service because we don’t have an established benchmark as to what makes an effective innovator. With increased media attention on the dangers of online dating, some singles have become skeptical with the process. After a woman was sexually assaulted, her case reached the California courts and scared many potential online daters.
What are some things you can keep in mind, in addition to knowing companies will screen their clients that may keep you safer in online dating? Guard personal information as much as you can to avoid any identify theft down the road if something happens. While you might be anxious to meet someone, it might prove more valuable and safer to you down the road if you take the time to really get to know them a bit more.
Do you think this will create healthy dating relationships through safe love matches in the future?
Don’t let a man talk you into cutting corners by not following the rules of the dating site.
My FREE gift to you will assist you in taking control of your dating life by educating you on the top 7 behaviors that sabotage your dating efforts. Yeah, yeah, I know Gloria Steinem went undercover as a Playboy Bunny back in the day, and then wrote about it. Because as we all know, using the phone or washing one’s hands is every woman’s idea of foreplay. And worse yet, you’re suddenly forced to ask yourself, Am I a nice, enlightened, evolved enough person to overlook this guy’s shortcomings, or do I politely dump his ass in favor of someone who might actually be able to rock my world?
Obviously, they hadn’t endured enough disappointment yet to realize that charity and sex don’t mix. As a result, she buys up every last vaginal sponge in New York, then uses her stockpile so judiciously she interviews potential lovers before she even dates them to make sure they’re sponge-worthy. If that goes well both of you head to the restroom where he proudly displays his manhood in all its glory. The situational variability is far too great and accurate predictors of the future are only useful when there is a steady continuation to the present. Some women have actually been attacked by their online dating match once they meet – a fear that perhaps sits at the back of the mind of someone meeting a potential love match for the first time. Because I would prefer to block my number, and because I prefer being able to talk at my convenience. But personally I don’t want to waste time meeting guys who “…enjoy taking long walks on the beach…or to the liquor store…” all for the sake of a joke.
The older women, however, were all in the camp of, “Oh, hell no.” As one 40-something lady succinctly put it, “I’m done driving VW Beetles. If you like what you see declare him sponge-worthy, set up a date for Friday, and let nature take its course. When was the last time your life moved in straight line?What happens when pragmatic thinkers work with big-picture thinkers?


By asking you to call them, they are placing the responsibility of getting together on you. Instead, make it part of the deal right up front, so you know full well what you’re getting. However, if after seeing his full regalia you envision him trying to pick a lock with a piece of uncooked spaghetti, respectfully tell him, “I’m sorry, your attributes don’t quite measure up to my needs, but thanks for trying. All you have to do is click your heels and ask the Great and Powerful Omni Web for your wish to come true, or so I’m told. It may be creative, but it’s not the best way to find out if the two of  you are compatible.
They’re usually arrogant and looking for a submissive woman to boost their ego to make them feel superior. I know that sounds a bit shocking, but stick with me through my logic before you push me off that chastity bridge our mothers built in an attempt to keep us fully clothed until marriage. Open innovation has become a jumble of buzzwords that somehow connect the dots between ideation and commercialization – Collaborative open innovation networks (COINs), crowd sourcing, idea markets and countless acronyms, homonyms and even eponyms. This is the complete opposite of the rigidity and uniformity that comes from dating service apps. You need to have a conversation with a man to find out if  you really have something in common.
So now we are to believe that the way to enlisting the most talented innovators is the same path many are taking to finding their true love. Innovation is deviation—and you need deviants.Have you ever noticed that in creative communities everybody is a little weird? This is the false and misguided belief that drives so many Human Resources departments today.
People in those communities not only know that but they expect other people to share their weirdness and be okay with it.These are exactly the kind of people that you can’t find with the dating-service model.
More and more companies are moving their recruitment efforts to social media, depending on big data to find amazing new people for their teams.In this way, these HR divisions have essentially become dating services. Then he became passionate about restoring injured pigeons he found in Washington Square Park. But is it probable that you can find the missing piece to your innovation puzzle via a transactional platform? To say he was an outside-the-box thinker is an understatement.Automating the search for innovators like a dating service will only give us a generation of vanilla. It’s the thing about dating that you’ve heard so many people say but that almost always turns out to be true: the person you end up with is never the person you think you’ll end up with.
You need to apprentice them, you need to get their hands dirty—put them to work and see what they’re capable of.Often, the talent you want in your organization is the talent that you don’t know you’re looking for. The dating-service model of recruitment results in a bland, uniform team that has little authentic diversity – cognitive as well as cultural.Alignment is not conducive to innovation.



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