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I think about my daughter just starting out on this journey called marriage and then the decades that Dave and I have under our belts and I want to be able to tell Britta exactly what she should and shouldn’t do to make sure her marriage is long and happy and free of conflict or pain. If communication is missing in your marriage, before you even realise it, it will slowly destroy your relationship.
Love is overrated, it’s RESPECTING your spouse that will strengthen your bond and help your relationship in the long run. Let your partner know that your respect and value for him or her supersedes the specific issue you are discussing. True commitment means that you are willing to make sacrifices to keep a relationship alive. Both partners in the marriage must be prepared to put their partner’s happiness ahead of their own from time to time for the marriage to truly work. Studies reveal that individuals who have a strong sense of humor are less likely to experience burnout and depression and they are more likely to enjoy life in general — including their marriage. Recognize that marriage is a journey that ebbs and flows; passion will wane, but reignite over time. The success of your marriage is not measured by how you celebrate the good times, but by how you support each other through the challenges.
Always remembering what it is about your partner that drew you to them will make certain that you never forget your love for your partner. HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT THESE GOOD THINGS?Mending Fences With Friends and FamilyDressing Your Truth .
Treat your spouse and your children as good as, if not better than, you treat your best friend!
For more related articles read these pages For the guys: Learn how to better communicate with women! Marriage a little stale? As a result, the Plotkins developed a marriage training course based on the seven expressions used by King Solomon in the Song of Songs to describe the concept of marriage. Don’t miss this humorous and informative panel discussion that will inevitably give you some insights into how to have a successful marriage.
This presentation was given at the National Jewish Retreat - a yearly event hosted by the Rohr Jewish Learning Institute. When you are used to running your own life in your own way, it can be very off-putting when you’re suddenly living with someone who has different interests and different opinions than you.
A major cause of conflict in couples is the belief that everyone should think and feel the same way about everything.
You may feel compelled to correct your partner, pointing out to them all the reasons why what they think wrong and why what you think is right. Open-mindedness implies not judging what is right for someone else based on what is right for you.
If you have lived alone for a long period of time you can lose sight of what it feels like to not get your way. Whether you’ve been alone like me, or lived with a boyfriend, compromising on most decisions, if you are not used to it, can be a shock. When you are open to compromise, you find that there are things you have to give up for the sake of the relationship, and it isn’t always easy.
If you are someone who has gotten used to always being in control, it is important to prepare for “not getting your way.” First, be honest with yourself and admit that you like to do things your way. One of the biggest destroyers of marriages is anger, primarily when it is misused and misdirected. The quality of patience allows you to create more peace in your life and therefore a more peaceful marriage.
There will be times when your husband will do things or say things that will “push your buttons” and make you want to lash out at him.
Forgiveness, like patience, involves defusing and replacing anger and blame with acceptance and love.

Forgiveness does not condone bad behavior but it allows two people to remember that they are both flawed, and both deserving of being forgiven. If you marry the right person, your husband will value your happiness as much as his own and that is a great gift. If you did not learn the lesson of being generous to others as a child, you can still cultivate it now.
The example she showed me of generosity without any benefit to herself left a deep impression on me.
If you can master all of these qualities early in your life, you will be way ahead of the marriage game. But if you are like me, it may take the benefit of age to cultivate them, to finally become the woman who can have the marriage of her dreams. Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. Filed Under: CONTRIBUTORS, INSPIRATIONAL BLOGS, INSPIRATIONAL BOOKS, INSPIRATIONAL VIDEO, Uncategorized, WOMEN that "Share in Positive Action" for Our World!
A Celebration of Women™ Foundation Inc., was born to shape a better world through building residential homes that are mandated to enable the education of young women, support self sustainable programs, graduating future women leaders. Everyone talks about honesty in a marriage but that’s only possible if communication lines are open. But considering the vast number of decisions every couple has to make during the course of their lives, you’ll often come across situations, where you will have to find middle ground. The challenge is that taking steps to maintain the relationship means that you may not get your way in certain areas. Spending all your time trying to change your partner or perfect those annoying little traits will bring nothing but disappointment. There are so many variables that can have an affect on the happiness and success of a marriage. There are three C’s that I think are most important, communication, compromise and caring.
It helps keep the flames and the connection alive especially when life has a way of pulling you apart from each other. Goldie Plotkin realized there was a common denominator in all of these couples: they were missing basic training for marriage. Kids who never dated much if at all & who don't have any kind of interaction with the opposite gender before they get engaged need to learn how to relate to a spouse. The qualities that insure a happy marriage are those most of us only begin to master after going through many painful life lessons.
I finally stopped using it as an excuse to feel sorry for myself and began to pay attention to how it was asking me to change. It is difficult to accept or respect someone else’s point of view, especially when to you, it just seems wrong. It requires that you put the judgment of right and wrong aside and accept and appreciate a different point of view.
I lived by myself for 20 years before I got married, so you can imagine how comfortable I was making all my own decisions. When you form an intimate bond with someone they can become a lightening rod for your anger and frustration just because they are there and accessible.
It helps you navigate problems and upsets with a clear head and prevents you from being an adversary to your husband. But if you can cultivate patience, you will find it easier to take a breath and chose to react with love and kindness. Anger has many expressions but will show up most of the time in the form of resentment and grudges. As human beings we need to be taught early how to share with others and how to unselfishly put someone else’s interests above our own.

It requires being conscious of other people’s needs and giving your time and energy when appropriate. If you look back, the people who you remember with the most fondness are the ones who really extended themselves to you.
I was laid off from my job the day before I was set to go on an expensive two-week vacation.
Virginia has coached hundreds of woman by helping them to uncover their blocks to love and marriage.
Advice that comes from real-life couples who have successfully navigated the sometimes rocky road of marriage. So even if you’re busy with your work, children, gym, household chores or social activities, just set aside 15 minutes in the day, especially for your spouse. Dating also creates variety and interesting experiences in your life that in turn create memories that strengthen your relationship and can act as a shock absorber during difficult times. Many things may change throughout the course of your marriage but the one thing that will always remain is the reason you fell in love in the first place.
You have to be willing to talk about anything and everything with your partner and you definitely need to be able to make compromises and realize that you won’t always get your way. So keep your words and deeds respectful (even if your thoughts aren’t at that moment), it has a much more positive effect than swearing, throwing things or making rash decisions. You don’t need to agree on every single detail, but you should be aware of what you disagree on and think of how to solve problems. We may go to bed with issues that still have to be resolved, but we agree to disagree and think about a possible solution-i.e.
I didn’t marry for the first time until I was 53 years old, and by that time I had been through so many rocky relationships that I was “forced” into learning how to be a better woman. With no one to answer to, I fell into a mindset that made me oblivious to how easy I had it.
Not only do you have to come to an agreement on the big issues such as money, where you will live, or where you’ll vacation; but there are hundreds of smaller decisions that you now have to share like what time to eat or what to do Saturday night. You might even find that it is a big relief not always being in charge and actually let other people share the responsibility. It was a stretch financially for her, but she took the risk of giving me the money not knowing whether or not I would be able to pay her back. It allows both people to go beyond themselves and create a union that is supportive and strong. Use this precious time to sit and talk about things, not just about work and family but anything and everything!
Also, look at how your in-laws deal with these topics, this can help you to better understand your partner. She has different people who present the workshops from a Torah and psychological perspective. For a long time I neglected to cultivate and nurture the qualities that I needed to have a healthy marriage. Even when I was in a relationship I still had the power of choice and lived on my own terms. It may be hard at first but there is a lot you can gain by letting someone else take the lead. Like a toothache, ignoring them will not make them go away and they will begin to truly poison your marriage.

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