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Self esteem is a term used in psychology to assess somebody’s evaluation of their own worth. Positive self esteem is healthy: this is the favorable opinion of oneself or self respect that the dictionary talked about.
If you are looking for a self esteem definition, then perhaps you are suffering from low self esteem – or somebody close to you may have this problem. Positive self esteem does not involve comparing ourselves with other people, but having an intrinsic sense that we are significant and worthwhile – that we have a right to be here. A lot of my emotional healing grew out of realizing the truth about some of the concepts that I had been taught wrong. When I refer to a person in a position of power I am not just referring to our teachers, the police, or judges or government. It was a huge part of my survival mode to go along with these false teachings and when I became an adult I still believed the false truth that they were right and I was wrong because I had never known anything different and I didn’t know what the real definition of respect was. I get a lot of comments in this website about respect that communicate that most of us have accepted a false definition of the word respect when it comes to whoever we believe is in a position of authority or power oin our lives.
Based on the following definition of respect, do you think that abusive controlling or manipulative parents should be automatically respected? A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements. Have you ever used or do you use the above definition of respect as a guideline to understanding what you are being accused of when you were being called “disrespectful”?
And another thing to consider; by this definition of respect in the above quote, what about when parents don’t listen to their children?
In the case of most of the people who read Emerging from Broken, the people who have been in power and authority in our lives, have misused their power. Disrespect is part of everything these days, from entertainment to the presidential election. My financial situation is not good, but I have found myself unable to make moves to get a better job. Is there something to the idea that people can FAKE respect in order to get what they really want? I am taking things step by step and improved my work situation certainly over what it was even a few years ago by doing this process of emotional healing. I really love the way dreams can bring up from the subconscious the issues we cannot consciously articulate. Julie and Dianne, I am sorry your Moms were so demanding, immature, and disrespectful to you. I recently broke off contact with my father which has caused a tsunami of family crap, but the thing my father keeps going on about is that he gave me so much, what did he ever do to me, where is my respect for him? Anyway, on a slightly funnier note, I always remember this one time when I was little, maybe about 6. It was through re-parenting that I made the biggest steps forward in recovery and emotional healing. Darlene, Dianne, I just want to add that it was in observing and interacting with abusers in church that allowed me to develop a lot of the insight I have about abusive relationships. My mother has said she is sorry for a couple of vague things, but never without a ‘but’ to justify what she did.
Forgiveness attached to false respect, compliance and obligation means nothing and will not contribute to healing in anyway. I can’t think of a single incident in my life in which I got pleasure out of hurting another human being.
Pam, as always, you have been able to put into words things that I have felt or thought about church and christians and people! Lisa, I dont know if this will help, but when I read your story, it made me think of how I feel about my parents and forgiveness. Marone… It is because of our inner strength and things abusers lack that makes them insanely hateful of us. I’m still thinking about that definition of respect due to someone because of their abilities, qualities, or achievements. Sister Renee from Luke 17 is one of the commenters in this site so I have checked out the website and it is wonderful as you say! The definition from the dictionary was foreign to me and if I followed the definition I wouldn’t find anything I admired about their qualities, abilities or accomplishments. I have had a low respect of myself for a long time that I am working towards building and healing. One of the “golden rules” that is usually taught in society is to respect your parents (as well as your elders). The self esteem definition used in psychology does not assume that self esteem is always favorable.
Negative or low self esteem is not psychologically healthy and usually has a bad impact on our lives. People with healthy self esteem usually find it easier to forgive others for hurting them or doing other bad things, because their happiness is less dependent on the actions and opinions of other people.
Confidence is more about our performance in a situation, while esteem is a general opinion about ourselves.
Be careful not to make it worse by feeling bad (or criticizing the other person) for having low self esteem. There are many ways to boost self esteem and in many cases, this has the power to make us happier.
The people who were in a position of power in my life taught me a lot of false definitions of words like love, respect, relationship, trust, forgiveness and a few others. I made huge leaps forward when I saw these word definitions through the grid of the truth about them verses the false ways that I had been taught about them.

If you find that the subject matter I am writing about resonates with you, get this book today! That equal, basic respect is important and even when someone is disrespectful to me, I try hard not to sink to their level. She’d ignore me and make me do chores while she just sat and watched tv, and never once would have a conversation with me. I looked up to people in church, thought they knew much more than I did, and they let me down because they were just people working through problems, like me. Now I am beginning to understand how this whole question is affecting my present life in other ways.
I was thinking about this last night and I set the intention to see if I could get any insights from my dreams.
That the idea of true respect should include wanting to make sure that my needs are taken care of? I can deal with co-workers and clients much more successfully since I have started the healing process. The bible, like any other teaching, can be skewed to suit the abusive manipulative (disrespecful) person!
I had to learn to fill all my needs, hug myself, love and accept myself and respect myself.
I agree that there are more people in church practicing churchianity than true Christianity. I wonder what kind of “respect” he would get in prison for the crimes he committed!
I personally value people being good to one another, so I have no tolerance or patience (or respect) for people who abuse others–either physically, verbally, emotionally, sexually, or spiritually. I think it’s important that we survivors learn to NOT feel guilty if we do not respect our abusive parents. Maybe I’m misunderstanding this, but when I was in college I received many honors, awards, and scholarships due to my abilities, qualities, and achievements, but I still felt very empty inside.
Darlene, could we say that the fake respect shown by schools, employers, etc, is part of a grooming process?
The ways that I learned to let go of guilt and shame and the ways that I recovered from all this stuff is by seeing where it started in the first place and by seeing the TRUTH about the messages people give by thier actions.
I was never aware I had any of these features of my own and how wonderful I was the way I was. It is so horrible how there are laws in place to protect children but these laws are not helpful when it comes to the parents who will not respect them. A person with low self esteem is not usually very happy, even when living in circumstances that they feel ought to make them happy. For the same reason, they are more able to identify, state and seek to satisfy their own needs and wishes in a positive way.
So people can be self-confident (sure that they are able to do certain things) while still not respecting themselves.
The psychologist Abraham Maslow included a self esteem definition in his list of basic human needs. Growing up from so young with the false definitions I had been taught caused me to automatically accept them as the truth. One time when I was in my thirties my mother referenced the bible to me saying “what happened to that bible verse that says ‘honour thy mother and thy father’?” This was her way of dictating to me that if I went against anything she wanted or whatever she said, that I was being disrespectful. I learned a lot from those experiences and even though so many of us expect church to be perfect, I think the lessons I learned because it isn’t perfect are all the more valuable. So, this morning I had a dream where some people came to me and they acted very polite and respectful.
I was wanting someone to hold me and love me like a small child should be loved by her mother. Am I just on strike from participating more fully in the working world because the child within is STILL not getting the love and attention she needs? I don’t want to be poor and all, but I hear the insistent voice of a very small child who missed out, and she holds me to account and wants me to take her seriously so she can grow and feel loved.
And when it is twisted just enough, or when important things are left out of the teaching, it sounds true. I found that in church there was a similar grooming process to other grooming processes in that I was accepted and welcomed but I had to keep producing whatever they wanted (compliance, service etc) more and more in order to get that acceptance. I do go to church but I look for those who are genuine and stay away from those who aren’t.
I looked up stuff like child neglect and got actually government websites and I was even more shocked at what the governments in Canada, the USA and the UK have in place as LAWS attempting to protect childrens rights. To understand why, we have to look more closely and come up with a self esteem definition that goes beyond what you would find in a dictionary. This is because happiness depends as much on how we feel about ourselves as it does on any external circumstances. So developing healthy self esteem is an important step in being able to find our own path in life.
However, some definitions of self esteem include self confidence and it may be tested in self esteem evaluations or questionnaires. I think children want to respect their parents but when parents aren’t honorable that desire is frustrated and the result is an angry child.
They told me that they wanted to consult with me and pay me for helping them to understand their problems because they had heard I was very insightful. One of the people did give me a hug, but he didn’t seem to really want to, and then they said, well, we really want to get our consultations, so just pull yourself together and come meet us at the table. How can I move forward with improving my material well-being while at the same time acknowledge the truth of the neglect and abuse so present in many working environments? How I overcame depression, low self esteem etc by finding out where it started and how I and my self esteem got so damaged in the first place.

If my mother wants to repair our relationship, she has to actually admit what her part in the destruction of it is. There is a lot of respect in this culture for people who can perform, but when your self-esteem is non-existent to begin with, it really doesn’t seem to help. I saw the truth there myself when I was still very broken and when I started to ask about it I was pretty heavily judged. Everyone knows that sometimes they are hard to be around, but your parents love you and just want to raise you to be the best that you can be. If your father fucks you in the ass is that considered to be just a little bit disrespectful on his part ? Is not doing what someone else wants or not agreeing with what they say the same as being disrespectful? Only the name you use will be seen by others so if you don’t want your real name or your last name published, don’t use it. She would never give me explanations as to why she could not do chores, but I had to do her biddings. I tried to gather the papers and stuff I needed to work with them, but my emotions were too strong about my needs not being met first. At so many times in school and worked I have been rewarded for my talents and efforts, but never felt like anyone was really looking and seeing the true needs of a wounded child. Now I am struggling with knowing that if I get a job, the goal is also to make the company look good. And as you say, we learn a false definition of the word and the people who think they are entitled get away with it! Of course mothers with schizophrenia are hard to be around especially when they are trying to convince you to take a handfull of their pills.
In this website we are usually talking about when they don’t have the adult child or the young child’s best interests in mind at all. If they’ve been forced to respect their parents when their parents have done nothing to deserve their respect, the child will be angry and rebellious as a teen. People get hurt by thinking Christians are more than human but Christians often have more problems that nonbelievers as their brokeness is what brought them to faith in the first place. I think it is still difficult to give myself permission…but that depends on the situation. I guess it has to come down to my own self-care, because the culture is often just as unconscious and abusive as my family. Thank you for giving me strength to keep going over and over this area until I can be my friend, someone I respect and admire one day. All teens are somewhat, rebellious (none of us are perfectly, honorable parents)but troubled teens are angry teens who have suffered some level of abuse from parents or those who were in authority over them as children.
There is nothing respectful about pretending to like what we hate but it is still possible to express how we feel with respect. When people control other people there is no actual relationship and relationship is a big part of the joy in life, so standing up to my parents IS love. Anyway, I know exactly what your talking about when it comes to peer preasure to comply and I’m happy to say that no longer has an effect on me. He was always laughing at me and sneering at me, making fun of my sensitive nature and my vulnerability, my softness and my caring. There are two main assumptions that I cannot forgive : the assumption that without a doubt our parents loved us and that they did the best that they could ? In both cases (as a child and as an adult) this is called a dysfunctional relationship because the elders decide and communicate that not everyone in the relationship has equal value. The things we analyze here are foundational and important to ourselves and everyone who is touched by our lives. Of course she yelled and screamed nearly every day about things ,so we all were disrespected in one way or another I suppose. It is the only chance they might have to see how wrong they are; not that that is my expectation but if I tolerate the way they treat me, then I am consenting to it. After I became a Christian, I was taught that I should honor my parents, no matter what they were like. I’ve decided that love is unconditional but respect has to be earned and without respect their can be no trust and without trust, there can be no relationship.
I tried confronting them on the dishonorable things they did to me and others that I love with the truth.
Because my love for them is unconditional, I pursued the avenue that gave them opportunity to earn my respect and allow me to honor them, as God wants children to do. They refused that opportunity and frustrated my efforts to honor them in the same way that they frustrated the natural desire I had to respect them as a child. This is when I knew that there would never be any trust in our relationship and though I let them back into my life as an adult, our relationship never improved because they don’t have enough respect for their children to try to live and behave in such a way as to derserve that honor. Then it became apparent to me that the most honorable, truth preserving thing I could do was walk away.
I’ve seen many Christians struggle with carrying a pretense of honor for parents who are less than honorable, thinking they had to do so to honor God.
We get so tangled up when we neglect the spirit of the Law and apply it by the letter only; or when we chop out a piece here and de-emphasize the portions of scripture that come before and after and give it proper context. It’s really important for people to read the Bible themselves and not allow teachers to misapply their interpretation to their personal situation. Her consequences of her actions or inactions are biting her today, but that is not YOUR fault or responsibility or burden to bear. It isn’t a sin to do so and I believe that God is pleased when we seek the truth rather than accept a lie because of peer preasure or fear of authority.

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Comments Self esteem definition psychology pdf kalat

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