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31.08.2014
Self-compassion is the extension of kindness, care, warmth, and understanding (instead of beratement and criticism) toward oneself when faced with shortcomings, inadequacies, or failures. Self-compassion is the care and nurturing we offer ourselves when we make mistakes, embarrass ourselves, or come short of a goal we were hoping to achieve.
Having self-compassion means to honor and accept your own humanness and accept that in life, you will encounter a number of unfortunate circumstances, sometimes where you’re the one at fault.  Self-compassion is having grace for oneself. Now, consider for a moment: how you respond to yourself when you’ve messed up or haven’t done something quite right? One way to practice is by taking five minutes at the end of the day and writing about the worst thing that happened to you during the day.  Pretend like you’re writing about it from the stance of someone who cares about you.
Self-reflection in his practice as a case manager and also clinical counsellor within a Family Service Centre. As I grow older for example, I find that gratitude is a core practice that I would like to do more consistenty. I think we do a huge disservice to our children when we stress self-esteem instead of self-respect.
For more posts on the topic of Children, visit Bridget Chumbley’s place, One Word at a Time. When we understand that before anything else we are sons and daughters of the Living God, it will change the way we look at ourselves. Amen…I think we, as a society, are seeing the consequences of placing so much emphasis on self esteem in recent years. We are relational creatures and we find our way through our primary relationship with our creator, who loves us dearly. Tremendous teaching…I hope this makes it to every parents email, blog or whatever…just so they see this truth!
Confidence is one of my favorite traits, as I believe lack of confidence and self-esteem is one of the easiest ways to sell ourselves short. So confidence and esteem can be gained by changing our outer reality, by it is most often gained by changing our inner one. Low self-esteem ALWAYS forms in childhood when the individual is developing an initial view of how he or she, as a person, fits into the world. Signs of low self-esteem: social withdrawal, sensitivity to criticism, hostility, excessive pre-occupation with personal problems, physical symptoms like head aches, fatigue and insomnia (sleep disorders). 3. Some people may require talking to a counselor or an expert, especially those who went through a more challenging past. A person should not allow the low self-esteem to hinder him or her from realizing the true potentials.
If you think you are suffering from a low self-esteem, you can chat anonymously to a facilitator on the MobieG LIVE CHAT. If you’ve been around children’s sports in the last ten or fifteen years, you might have noticed a strange trend, there is no score-keeping. So why have we shielded our children from experiencing losing the game or getting a “C” in math?  Self-esteem. While one could argue a lot of reasons for an increase in the use of anti-depressants, I believe our culture has defined self-esteem and the basis for it incorrectly. If you listen to our culture, it tells you that how you feel about yourself is the most important part of self-esteem, but our feelings will carry our mind and attitudes from highs to lows and back again, day in and day out.
Do you see how extremes of self-esteem lead to a selfish heart and ultimately a “me” focused attitude? In the next two lessons, I will focus on this last point a lot more, and in the last lesson, I will examine our ultimate example of someone with perfect self-esteem, Jesus Christ. About Latest Posts Erynn SprouseErynn and her husband, Jeremy serve with the Patrick Street church of Christ in Dublin, TX .
Compared to those who try to use guilt, shame, or fear as motivators to complete a project or goal, the ones who practice self-compassion are the ones who spend less time dragging their feet when it comes time to perform a task. Those who are accepting and caring towards themselves after a perceived or real failure will be much more likely to “get back on the horse” and keep going. Contrary to what some might assume, self-compassion does not relieve someone of their ownership of a problem; rather, self-compassion actually serves to assist someone in being able to make a more realistic assessment of the role they played in problem process.
Those who are more compassionate with themselves will not crumble if they receive feedback from others. Being self-compassionate is not an innate quality, and it’s often learned in our family of origin. In one study, participants who did this every day for one week reported experiencing a greater sense of happiness toward their lives.


What he said that day struck a chord with me as it reminded me of the value of self-reflection especially within the context of everyday life.
This is because increasingly I feel that how we feel about everything in our lives also stems from how we have been conditioned to perceive them. The best that I can say about self-reflection is that its akin to the feedback that is required for any system to excel.
Any open system, and we are all open systems unless you tell me that you live in an isolated cave and do not interact with any other human being, requires an accurate feedback mechanism to relay to it crucial information so that the system can adapt and thrive.
But how do you as an individual system made up of yourself and all your fears, expectations, hopes, memories etc obtain your own version of valuable feedback system?
An individual with a healthy self-respect “likes” themselves — even when encountering the inevitable failures in life. If they sold self-esteem in the Sky Mall catalog, it would like like a smiling (but evil) Buddha.
Being the mother of a 11-year-old girl going on 16 or something, I’m dealing with this on a daily basis. This is to reassure the self of the many capabilities and potentials that may be developed. Hugging may be a very simple act, but this could very well give warmth to a dampened spirit. Please enjoy and carefully consider this first lesson in our new series on Biblical self-esteem. We must train our thoughts to anchor our self-esteem so that it is not tossed about by feelings. There are two extremes when it comes to self-esteem, those with too much and those with too little. She doesn’t feel like she should have to do anything for the church unless she gets the starring role and lots of recognition. I pray that you might find these lessons encouraging and a radically different message than what you hear in our world.
We are dealing with this a lot with our teenage girls at church right now and I needed this! Take for example, a homeless man on the street; when encountering him, you may notice his pain and wonder if under different circumstances your life could have turned out the same way.
This is because those who practice self-compassion know they have inherent value and abilities to recover— even if the feedback is not positive.
When you’re tempted to be self-critical or judgmental, try to speak to yourself as someone who cares about you would; consider what they might say to encourage you.
Depending on our childhood circumstances, this may or may not have been a skill that we learned from our parents. Specifically with the ever increasing pace of life, we all need to consciously find the time to sit down and reflect on our day, our week, our relationships, our current stage in life, our life philosophy and what we hope to achieve. Well you can do so by harnessing the power of self-reflection where you practice contemplation, wearing other person’s perspectives, do thought experiments etc.
To esteem something is to “hold in high regard.” Self-respect and self-esteem are quite different. While on the other hand, you raised an excellent point, it’s almost like self-respect is not even part of the equation. When life is lived in fellowship with him, to his glory, all the rest falls into its proper place. But my Dad has long insisted that Self-esteem is bogus, and I think self-respect got thrown out with it, because us kids got neither. God does not expect us to feel good about ourselves; He expects us to feel right about ourselves.
The world tells you self-esteem is found in externals, looks, children, intelligence, husband, marriage, home, job, etc.  But God tells us that our self-esteem is found in the cross and what it represents. It seems that I quickly become frustrated with my family and myself, and that leads me to questioning is there a problem with me or my family. Self-reflection can also be a moment we accord to ourselves to honour, accept and yes console ourselves even. So I believe that by practicing a gratitude mindset, we will start to shift our conditioned perspective towards positivity.
Perhaps in another blog post we will explore further what is the exact process of self-reflection or at least the process that I employ. Tagged close system, contemplation, feedback, fulfilling life, meaningful life, meditation, open system, purposeful life, self reflection, wisdom.


Self-esteem balances precariously upon a comparison with someone who’s always “a little better.” When we esteem someone or something, we face serious trouble if we do not measure up to those standards. Most of the time feeling right about ourselves should lead us to positive thoughts, but sometimes feeling right about ourselves should lead us to repentance. It requires constant dedication and attention to our moods with Biblical thoughts to counteract feelings.
High class on Sunday mornings and leads the Children’s Bible Hour program on Sunday nights. I think a lot of poor choices that we make as women come back to believing Satan’s lies about who we are and what we should be.
Compassion for her and her situation leads you to offer a listening ear, a comforting hug, or maybe some kind words of encouragement. Gratitude alone does wonders for the soul as it allows the mind to relieve itself off some burdensome thingking when achieved.
You are a system made up of the interaction between your awareness, your relationship with your memories, emotions, expectation, conditioned perspectives, fears, etc. For now, it is good to note the invaluableness of self-reflection and start your own self-reflection practice in the best way only you know works for you. Our esteem may ebb and flow, whereas a healthy self-respect (liking ourselves) is always grounded in what we are (and are not) — not in what we can or cannot accomplish. He takes any type of discipline as if they were directed at his spirit and not his actions. Once you actually spend a day paying attention to the things you say to yourself in your mind, you might be shocked at how much your feelings hurl insults at your self-worth. You might find it odd to read a verse talking about humility of mind when self-esteem is the topic, but the two are completely intertwined. But we should find ourselves becoming more and more like Louise and less and less like Mary and Sandy.
She is a full-time mom who homeschools their three children: Grace (8), Sophia (4), and Levi (2). Sometimes, self-reflection can also partly be used to practice gratitude or remind ourselves of other practices that we want to set aside for daily practice. Within each of us sometimes resides a vast complexity that mirrors the complexity of our external relationships.
Yes, a good self-respect will help him some, but if he doesn’t (with the help of his counselor) work through these things that are tearing him down, he will have no self-esteem and therefore will have no self-respect.
We go to therapy or take medications if we don’t (I am not talking about clinical depression!). Something described as “deceitful” and “desperately sick” in God’s word is not something we want to heed in our lives! Everything should be focused on them, their abilities, their lives, etc.  The second group has low self-esteem.
Thanks so much for writing this series and helping us get back on track with a Christ-centered esteem.
You would think in the richest, most free country in the world, we would have more self-esteem than anyone else in history. The cross will tell you that you are undeserving and a sinner, that you still have things to work on that God wants to perfect in you. My husband is always amazed by our daughters’ ability to be extremely upset and sobbing one minute, then laughing and smiling the next! If only they had been prettier, a better mother, a better wife, a better whatever, then xyz wouldn’t have happened. You are a Christian woman made to serve a God who wants you to realize that you are fabulous, wonderful, and purchased at a great price so that He can make you into what He wants you to be.
She doesn’t necessarily like cleaning, but she does like helping others and the Lord’s kingdom. She knows that she is defined by more than the job she is doing tonight, so she goes about cheerfully doing what needs to be done even if no one thanks her or even notices.



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