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What’s more, this lack of self-love was playing out in my life and keeping me from experiencing real joy and freedom. My strict Indian upbringing had me believe that my job was to conform to other people’s rules, from how I dressed and socialized down to whom I would marry.
You’re thirty-two and you still get pimples, your teeth are wonky, and you’re getting out of shape. With self-awareness and practice we can notice these thoughts in our minds and make a conscious decision to stop them or reverse them into positives.
There’s always someone who wants a piece of you—your boss, spouse, kids, friends, parents, siblings, the bank manager.
I know life is busy, but I always make time to do things that make me feel looked after—exercise, time alone, a little pampering. I liked to party, drank alcohol, had relationships, and had no interest in getting an arranged marriage.
This dishonesty seemed harmless until I realized that I was sending an unloving message to myself that who I really was, was wrong and shameful. The more you do it, the easier it becomes, and as long as you are not hurting anyone, expression from a place of honesty opens up so much space inside you.
For some reason we have learned to shun feelings of hurt, sadness, fear, depression, hopelessness, and so on, as if they are somehow wrong.
I had little compassion or acceptance for my own feelings of rejection, hurt, and unworthiness. There’s no such thing as perfection, though you could say that you are perfect in your imperfection.
So isn’t it funny that we berate ourselves—the opposite of love—for not meeting a standard that’s impossible to reach in the first place?
Many years ago I remember being surrounded by people who had quite a negative outlook on life. I realized the most loving thing we can do to help ourselves out of a negative state is surround ourselves with positive energy.
About Pinky JangraPinky Jangra creates blogs, videos and cartoons about all things spiritual, psychological and emotional, teaching what people didn’t get taught in school – inner wellness. Thank you Pinky, I have been on this spiritual journey of self discovery for 3 years and it is wonderful. DisclaimerThis site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice.
Indie bestseller Joe Konrath recently suggested that even if you do all the right things to become a career author, you’ll still need luck to succeed.
You can’t guarantee luck, but you can focus your attention on the things that are within your control. As you write more words every day, you’ll get better at your craft and your chances of luck will improve dramatically.
If you’ve put hundreds of hours into a book, then you need to go out there and tell people about it.
If you wish to make your kids feel special, there are many gestures and ways to do something for them. Read a book a month.  Reading a book is actually an achievement in this technology and media  driven world and reading a full book is a great way to achieve a sense of accomplishment.
At the end of each day before falling asleep write down something you feel proud about, either on the day or in the past. Tell someone else how much you appreciate them, being able to be open and honest is great for self worth. Everything you do, do to the best of your ability even if it cleaning the toilets or something equally as mundane, develop a reputation as someone who takes pride in their work. Dress as smart as you can for each occasion, whether it be work, meeting a friend, or going for an interview.  Take pride in your appearance.
Speak up for yourself in every area of your life, this might be hard to do at first but the first time you do it will be immense and if you carry on your self esteem and feelings of self worth will soar.
Sing at the top of your voice, not outside but in the house and really give it loads (I love singing Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers at the top of my voice, ah!
Work on your strengths.  A lot of people focus on building up their weaknesses, instead get better at what you are good at. Don’t read a newspaper for a week and gauge how you feel about yourself and the world around you. Always, Always, Always be honest with yourself and others.  There is no need for lies and the energy it takes to continue a lie is unbelievable. Take a chance and take a risk or two.  You don’t have long to live so just get up and do it.

Listen to your self talk and slap the little person criticising you, I mean it, imagine there are two people one on each shoulder, the one who criticises you give them a slap or a punch in the mouth and start to pay attention to the one who is praising you. Don’t be afraid to accept help from other people, it means they respect you enough to help you with something. Face your fears.  Nothing will send your self esteem soaring more so than facing your fears and eventually conquering them. I love the blog, specially everything about attachment, It helps me believe that I can change my withdrawing-anxious relationship stile into a secure one, and become the kind of person I would like to be with.
We spend so much time doing our best work on the outside -- working on our bodies, careers, relationships, cooking skills and goals. It's just as important to spend time doing work on the inside -- developing deep and lasting self-love, acceptance and compassion. This is a healing tool where you tap on specific parts of your body while repeating a mantra or affirmation. Use the mantra, "Even though I (insert your problem), I deeply and completely love and accept myself". Your true identify is something deeper and more eternal than your fluctuating circumstances.
We cause ourselves so much pain and suffering when we stifle our true nature and ignore our burning desires and dreams, for the sake of fitting in with the status quo and meeting the expectations of others. When an event or person triggers a strong feeling of anger or pain inside of you, or you simply wake up feeling irritable for no reason, don't beat yourself up for letting it get to you, or attempt to suffocate your suffering. Instead of focusing on what you perceive to be 'wrong' with you, focus on all of the amazing things you do have to offer.
There is a common myth in our society that there is such a thing as 'perfect' and we should all strive to be it.
Taking conscious action to increase our self-love in these areas can make our life much more magical. Giving yourself permission to nurture yourself creates the beliefs that you are worthy and loved. When I was sad and hurt after a breakup, pride took the part of me that was sad and tried to shut it away. I tried to quickly move on from heartbreak, dealing with everything in my head rather than my heart.
Love yourself enough to distance yourself from people who dim your light and find those who help you shine brighter. Her experience, knowledge and inspiration come from everyday life, 10 years (and counting) of personal growth and her work and study in behavioural and biological science. I am grateful to you for confirming what I am just now finding out – how I allowed myself to be limited by others and negativity.
We’re all in this boat together – great news is you can only really go up the scale!
I needed to hear more about loving myself, though I don’t necessarily feel unloved by myself at the moment. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Nobody likes to hear that they could spend hundreds to thousands of hours on multiple difficult projects and still fall well below the bar. If your dream has always been to write children’s books about dental hygiene, go to town. No, but you should try to find a compromise between your dream story and something that more people will buy. Authors who create multiple books in a series tend to have more luck than those who write a standalone and move on. One rule of thumb says your author business should consist of five parts of marketing for every one part of marketing.
The instances in which a self-published author with no website or online presence has had major success are few and far between. The more people you know, the better chances you have of making a connection with someone who can improve your career. I especially liked your comment about how the luckiest authors are the ones who have worked the hardest. The more we can make ourselves feel whole and worthy as individuals, the more we have to give to the world. If you're feeling anxious or self-critical about a particular issue or problem, you can use EFT to release your negative emotional energy and re-establish inner calm and peace. We identify with our successes and failures, relationship status, job title, bank balance and titles as if they tell the complete story of who we are.

You are inherently divine, beautiful, worthy and deserving -- no matter what is going on in your world. We speak to ourselves using harsh words we would never dream of directing towards other people. There will never again be someone quite like you, and you are here to give the world your own special blend of gifts, passions, interests and quirks. Observe where in your body you can feel the pain, with patience, love and an understanding that it is not who you truly are. Energy flows where attention goes, so the more you shift your perception towards your positive attributes, the more of them you will uncover. Love it, have fun with it, take care of it and feel appreciation for all of the wonderful things it enables you to do, but don't invest your self-worth in your appearance.
The truth is we are all human, flawed and prone to making mistakes as we navigate the world and learn and grow from our experiences. As a result, I spent precious time and energy in situations that I didn’t even want to be in. But, I find that if you do it confidently and lovingly, those who care will respect you for it and even change their behavior with you. Being honest in my eyes means that our words and actions reflect the truth of our heart and soul—in front of anyone and everyone.
Once I realised, though, that I should be giving myself the same amount of love and attention that I give to my family and friends, it became so much easier to grasp. All my life I have had a deep seated belief that if I wanted something with all my heart I had better not ask for it as I am not entitled to it.
We agree that luck is a key component to a successful book business, but we also think it’s very possible to manufacture your own luck.
When you’re looking to have good fortune as an indie author, however, you need to remember that some genres just sell better than others.
Most people in this business want to become better writers, and writing in a new genre is one of the best ways to accomplish that.
We’re not sure if you need to go that extreme, but you still need to make marketing a major priority. If you’re having a hard time choosing what to spend your daily marketing time on, look no further than growing your mailing list.
Sure, there are some authors out there who are extremely talented and just never caught a big break, but both marketing yourself and networking are major parts of what it takes to become a successful author.
If you choose healthy rewards, then your kid will feel special and you will feel satisfied. Make time to connect with your inner spirit, your eternal self, through meditation, yoga, journaling or getting lost in an activity you love. Allowing yourself to show up to life as your authentic self is one of the most empowering things you can do, and it can profoundly enrich your relationship with yourself.
By remembering your common humanity you immediately take the pressure off yourself and no longer feel so isolated and alone. Your life as you know it, is a unique expression in consciousness that will never exist again.
It feels almost alien at first, but once you get into the swing of it you wonder how you have made it this far in life without treating yourself in this way.
The ironic thing being that only when we really remember ourselves, and love ourselves, can we truly serve others in the most beneficial way! Additionally, you may find out things about the genre that excite you in new creative ways.
Connect with big-time authors to offer them your help and to learn the ins and outs of the trade. It can feel like a lottery at times, but you’re never going to win the grand prize unless you buy some tickets. If you haven’t caught a big break yet, maybe it’s because you haven’t worked hard enough to create one for yourself. Besides, it will lead to positive reinforcement and your kid may learn the best lessons of life. I’m smart, multitalented, not bad looking, generally happy, I have lots of friends and enjoy life. We are all fragile when in pain, so we must support ourselves, comfort ourselves, and love ourselves when we need it most.

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