While Too Scared to Scream may not be the most exciting film ever made it does feature a lead character who is very good at being disturbingly strange and awkward!
Hatchet for the Honeymoon is the first Mario Bava film Uncle Jack has seen and it proved to him why people rave about the strange Italian director's movies so much! A rich fashion designer who is married to a woman he despises must kill women in wedding dresses with a small meat cleaver so he can understand a vague memory involving stairs and the voice of his mother! When Uncle Jack found this film it had a horror film sticker on it, I imagine when looking at the cover and thinking of films such as The Exorcist that this is a common mistake! A man losses his marbles and kills his whole family with a baseball bat, the man then disappears! Soon Stallone and his comrades, including one very crazy Vietnam veteran (Robert Factor) who murdered his family, find a nice family traveling in a mobil home and take them hostage! Palance is a paranoid-schizophrenic who thinks one of the new doctors killed an old doctor which he liked!
This movie teaches you that if a power plant ever fails causing a black-out everyone will go crazy, fight, loot and burn! A couple who are writers go to stay in the house of a "celebrated 1930's movie goddess," so they can write a book about the man's father who created a famous painting of the actress! The Final Terror is a decent 80s horror film about teens who volunteer to help clear land deep in a forest with a couple park rangers and run into a killer! Cathy's Curse is similar to The Exorcist except that the girl is possessed by a doll which is possessed by the evil spirit of a girl who died in a car crash! Honeymoon is about a French woman who gets married to a man she does not know and has never met so she can stay in the United States and help her imprisoned boyfriend! A man who runs a video company gets hired by a shady character to video a woman in her apartment in order to dig up dirt!
The best part of The Swamp of the Lost Monster is the VHS box because the monster and chick on the front of the box are not in the film!
Tower of Evil is an English film which starts off with a bang- severed heads, naked corpses, a crazy naked chick with a knife, and then it gets considerably more boring!
Asylum Blackout is a film I wanted to see for quite some time but never made enough effort to find it until now.
Horror films involving escaped inmates are not uncommon but they definitely do no appear often these days, so I definitely appreciated first-time produced writer S.
Director Alexandre Courtes was fantastic in his direction of this piece, which also serves as his first feature film. Overall, Asylum Blackout is a film I recommend to horror fans seeking good horror in a simple but very effective package.
All three levels of the dreaded Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) exam will be administered on June 7. The CFA curriculum, which consists of three levels, is considered to be the hardest test on Wall Street. In the room where I was writing Level 2, the entrance into the test center was in the front of the room, and all the test takers sit facing the entrance.
Just before the 2 hour mark (or maybe it was right at the 2-hour mark), the proctor started reading the instructions over the loudspeakers, but the doors to the entrance were still open. Everyone watched as the door closed on the girl, who just had this blank stare on her face. That girl never came back into the room, and wasn’t able to take the second part of the exam. I saw him in the distance sitting on one of those portable heaters with his hands in his face, he was clearly upset. When taking L2 in [New Jersey], there was a regional blackout that made the entire convention (testing) center pitch black.
When I wrote Level I at the Javits Center, two of the proctors stood right in front of my desk (I was front row) and chatted through the afternoon session of the exam. If X-Acto knives were allowed in the CFA exam, I would’ve stabbed them both to death. And everyone else in the room was pretending they couldn’t hear what was going on, even though they knew exactly how the guy felt. A bunch of test-takers got screwed out of a little cram study session during the two hour break when hotel staff decided to throw all their backpacks in a massive pile. Everybody brings their notes to the CFA exam in hopes of cramming during the two-hour break in the middle of the exam. Apparently the bags were a fire hazard, so during the first part of the exam the hotel staff essentially bulldozed all the backpacks into an empty ballroom. I know someone that went to a fast food restaurant for lunch during the level 1 exam since it was the only thing near the test site.
A test-taker was in the Holland tunnel headed to New Jersey and realized he was supposed to take the test in Long Island. One guy was so preoccupied by the CFA that he opened his car door into oncoming traffic and nearly had it ripped off. A test-taker answered his cell phone in the middle of the test and still didn’t get kicked out. Some test-takers have complained that the Excel Centre in London test site is near the airport so they can hear the airplanes overhead. My favourite parts were when people with high heel walked up to get some water or go the bathroom. I am waiting for the bathroom in this massive line about 10 minutes before the start of the exam. Anyway, As I am standing in line with this guy in front of me he starts to sweat profusely and I can literally hear this guys stomach rumbling…this is where he really freaks out. Another guy claimed that he squirted lemon in his eye and stumbled into the bathroom and used the soiled sink.
I’[m] squirting lemon in my iced tea (for a little caffeine pick me up) right before I walk in to the exam center. Everett McGill who has starred in decent movies like Silver Bullet (as the werewolf priest) can act well! Hopper's manager learns of a woman in Italy who can really heal people and pays the church who watches over her for her!

A detective in the small town where the murders occurred becomes convinced that the killer hitched a ride in a car which crashed leaving one man dead and the other horribly disfigured and an amnesiac! When fellow white supremacist inmates plot an escape from a prison bus which goes horribly wrong and lands the bus deep in a lake, Stallone and four other inmates escape!
One little problem, the father of the nice family (Cliff DeYoung) is a war hero, and his wife (Kay Lenz) has a stupid face with a GIANT mouth which drives Uncle Jack insane!
Donald Pleasence and Jack Palance are in this film so on that fact alone it should be watched! The beginning of this film, before Palance and company escape is much better than the last half that gets a little dumb and the story gets some stupid holes but watch it any way! They discover that his father and "Lorna Love" were lovers and Love was involved in black magic! While many of the characters are prone to spazing out for very little reason- quick to anger, that is the films only real flaw other than having a crappy name!
Our possessed girl- "Cathy," is much more discrete about her condition than Linda Blair was in The Exorcist also, hiding her evil side from her father who is the only person that she likes!
The woman is visited by her new husband even though they are never supposed to meet and he won't go away! There is an underlying plot about an ancient cult that never really manifests as one expects it too, and when a really cool looking killer shows up in the end it dies in about one second before one gets a really good look at its face! Blending the slasher element with one of my favorite horror tactics, the nowhere-to-run scenario, this story gives the viewer a horrific tale that can somewhat be explained, but is best viewed first-hand. His atmosphere is superb and he makes excellent use of lighting and shadows in a film that spends the majority of its runtime in darkness. The atmosphere is great and it allows for good thrills thanks to a moving story with plenty of haunting scenes. To put it in perspective, fewer than 20 percent of candidates pass all three on the first try.
But we’ve heard some crazy horror stories ranging from bathroom disasters to concentration-breaking distractions.
You could feel the collective gasp in the room as what just happened weighed down on everyone. I called out to him, and when he moved his hands away from his face, i saw his red and puffy eyes, like he was crying. One prepared guy had a flashlight on him and the other test-takers basically wanted to kill him.
Amid the darkness, one very well prepared gentlemen took out a pocket flashlight and continued writing the exam.
But there wasn’t one at this hotel so everybody left their bags outside in the hallway.
Concentrating during the exam, my brain did block out some of the minor sounds but the high heel sound got into my head and I picked it up whenever someone walked past and it would last a good 30 to 60 seconds, both ways. There is this guy panicked out of his mind in line ahead of me who I noticed for the previous half hour had been rocking back and forth in the corner of the lobby murmuring his notes back to himself from memory…a real whack job. He starts pounding on the stall doors ( there were only 2) and, of course, no one is coming out so this a– clown drops his pants, hops up on the sink, and blows s— all over the sink! Some of it squirts the wrong way, gets me in right in the eyes and I literally, can’t see a thing.
In this film however, thanks to the script and directing, McGill's character is bland, and everyone's character is bland and dumb! She is really, really bizarre and bears the stigmata of Christ which bleed when she is in a deep seizure like trance! After massive reconstructive surgery not even the man's dental records are any good so our detective has no way to know for sure if the wreck's survivor is a psycho or not!
Pleasence plays a crazy, pot-smoking doctor who runs a sanitarium which uses unusual techniques to treat its patients! The man who is an exact replica of his father comes under the spell of the supposedly deceased Love and his wife becomes the victim of phantom attacks! While Ally Sheedy is highly unattractive and her character is very unlikable her husband and his lover are bad enough that they make the movie worth watching! The evil doll has eyes which are stitched shut and look awesome- eyes which are stitched shut always do!
Very low on action, the Man Beasts don't show up very often and not until late into this vomit bag of cinema! As one might guess by the names of all the stars this is not an American production it is Mexican! Starring Rupert Evans, we follow a group of prison cooks assigned to an asylum for the criminally insane.
The first act moves slowly but does a great job at giving us good character development for our lead, George.
He excels in his execution of the actors, from the crazy prisoners to the fear-panicked cooks who are in way over their heads. Also don’t drink too much coffee or tea or anything else for same problems noted above. Also both (you and your friend) will have to gallop across the exam hall to give the illusion that a horse is running through the exam hall. The man (Michael Moriarty) who is sent to pick up the woman who they name "Mary" for publicity's sake begins to hear voices before he meets her and when he does meet her he falls for her and her strange untalking ways! Determined to make sure the horrible murders do not happen again the detective keeps close watch after the crash victims new life! The nice family's daughter has an equally square head with a really dumb, little, round chin stuck on it!
A theater troupe puts on plays called Murders in the Rue Morgue where people get fake murdered on stage!
It is a good thing Sheedy's character gets buried alive in the same town where Matheson's character did ten years earlier so he could rescue her! There is a small amount of gore- a mutilated dog, a pulverized old man's face and a couple other things! The crazy man who has a dark past is a really awesome character and makes this show quite enjoyable as the viewer wonders what insane thing he will do next!

The Swamp of the Lost Monster has all the quality of a cheap Mexican pulp comic (which Uncle Jack loves unlike this movie)! Originally called Horror on Snape Island, (the island on which our evil lighthouse is located and from which few can escape alive) Tower of Evil has nice boobs and a nice rotten corpse, but still manages to disappoint! Day in and day out they waste their lives creating slop for the prisoners, some of whom spent the non-incarcerated days of their lives eating other humans. George is fully aware of the less-than-stellar life he lives – a struggling musician forced to work a job he hates for a lowly paycheck most would hate more. We feel for the cooks and their horrendous deaths thanks to his execution of the kills, and he provides a haunting villain to lead the prisoners in their destruction of the authoritative forces around them, which unfortunately includes the innocent cooks. I had to go to the bathroom so bad in the morning session and was so far away from the bathroom. I feel around for the sink, run the water and immerse my face in the sink, and to my horror, it’s full of s—! All kinds of wacky perspective shots and confusing chaos is created by Bava's mad filming style! Beaten and scorned for his ugly looks, McGill escapes the whaling ship where he was the best harpooner and becomes the king of a desolate island!
The first thing she asks when she shows up to visit is, "are there any rastafarians around here!" Awesome she looks so rasta! The rat beast enjoys lighting phones and stereos on fire and grabbing people with his rubber band tongue more than actually killing them!
Randi Allen who plays Cathy isn't the best actress but does a pretty good job of being a naughty, possessed child! The film's pluses and minuses- A shitty looking monster, terrible slap-stick humor, extreme boringness, radical horse dancing, a wild west type atmosphere (everyone is a cowboy), and a super lame hero (so lame it makes him a little cool however)! Tonight, the safety the cooks feel behind the wall of glass keeping the prisoners at bay will be shattered when a storm strikes and the asylum loses power – allowing the prisoners to move freely and begin a nightlong massacre of everyone locked in the asylum.
He is appreciative of his life though, thanks much to a wonderful girlfriend who loves him despite his failures in being successful. I was very impressed with Courtes’ execution of the horror, and I am not just talking about his gut-wrenching kill sequences. I am laughing my a– off but this guy didnt miss a beat, he rinses off his pants, throws his shirt in the trash and walks into the test wearing only his windbreaker and wet pants.
As king of his island he captures, kills, rapes and maims all who trespass, he declares war on all of mankind!
One can't really understand the unusualness of this movie and its strange, old school synthesizer soundtrack without watching it, but this might help, God is symbolized by a helicopter! Despite the fact that this movie is very slow and has little of the violence which typical slashers do, the film did leave Uncle Jack very anxious to know who did it, all the way until the end! Any way Palance and his other murderous cohorts including a killer priest which is very well played by Martin Landau escape to find and kill their new enemy!
Cathy's mother (played by Beverly Murray) has such light, grey-blue eyes that it is very disturbing (if you see her you'll understand)! If Looks Could Kill is a film which does a decent job of keeping one on the edge of their seat! He was able to allow me to envelop myself into the film and put myself in George’s shoes, and the horror of being in their situation, hearing voices of the insane nearby, hearing the screaming pleas of the innocent being killed in brutal fashion, and hoping to dear God that they do not find them was enough to leave me with a haunting experience I did not expect but gladly accepted.
At this point I go rummaging through the garbage in sheer hysterics to find anything to wipe my face, and to my relief I find a discarded shirt. Far too much time is spent in a vain attempt at character building and the viewer grows to dislike both McGill and all his captives more and more as the show goes on! There is much more emphasis on the synthesized soundtrack and silence then actual talking in this film!
There is an awesome shop owner who loves America and gets mad when he learns Factor only killed one "commie" in Vietnam, a big mistake on the shop owner's part! George and a few other cooks find enough bravery in themselves to help the guards round up the loose inmates and bring them back to their cells, but when they learn that the inmates ditched the medication used to keep their behavior at bay they realize they are dealing with convicted killers with nothing to lose. The fact that only one of his numerous captives attempts to make an escape and kill McGill is highly unbelievable! Interesting movie, definitely not for everyone, many people will find it a little dull, but for anyone who must watch all films from the land of madness, check it out! While Stallone appears to be the film's main bad guy when looking at the front of the box it is actually Factor's character!
The film quality is very scratchy as if it were taken right off an old reel from a movie theater! One by one the guards are brutally killed off, leaving the few remaining cooks to defend for themselves with very little weaponry whatsoever. And worst of all, this film ends with absolutely no resolution and very suddenly, leaving the viewer feeling ripped-off having bother to watch it so long!
This VHS is most likely difficult to find due to the obviously low budget they had for distribution- cheap paper in a generic black case and only a side label on the cassette that looks like a typewriter could have printed it!
They move about the dark asylum doing their very best to avoid confrontation given they are extremely outnumbered and lack the mentality to kill at will, but eventually they run out of places to hide. Those captured are forced to watch heinous acts committed against their buddies, with their own impending doom just moments away. If one finds this film cheap somewhere it is worth watching but don't search for it that hard it isn't that great! These scenes were very effective and I applaud the writer for giving us a level of horror that I did not expect to experience in this effort. Then, as if the film couldn’t get any better, we are left with an “insane” climax that will leave you discussing the film and not soon forgetting what you just saw.

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