Babies can barely defend themselves against a cushy blanket during a vigorous game of peek-a-boo, let alone the forces of gravity.
Which means they always miss the part where the baby turns out to be a full-grown grizzly bear.
But it's all true: It happened to a particularly rubberlike youngster in Paris who flopped right into the arms of Dr. According to witnesses in a neighboring building, the miniature daredevil was playing near the window with his older sister moments before he fell from his apartment.
Obviously the bouncing baby boy was a little shaken by the experience mentally, but physically he was good as new after a quick blow on his thumb to reinflate him.
After seven years, countless jumps, and the prestige of being the youngest person in the U.K. It was a routine jump (or at least as "routine" as jumping out of a perfectly good airplane can be) until Holmes released his main chute, only to watch it wrap around itself and become tangled. You can really feel the fear and desperation he was experiencing during his short and inevitable journey to Squishville (Population: Not Your Bones). Astoundingly, Holmes landed with much less of a splatting noise than either he or his jumping partner was expecting.
Depending on your perspective, 5 inches can be a perfectly average and acceptable collection of inches, thank you very much -- or it can be a horribly inadequate source of despair (stop laughing, Becky). Back in December of 2008, a 25-year-old factory worker from Barnsley, England, discovered the latter firsthand by somehow surviving being pulled through a gap the size of a goddamn CD case. While many of us can't fit into our sweatpants without the aid of Crisco and a running start.
Matthew Lowe was processing steel beams with a machine presumably made by ACME when his clothing got snagged on its conveyor belt. WARNING: We are about to show you a close-up photo of what was left of a skydiver who plummeted more than two miles straight down with no parachute, then landed on a set of power lines. As she was whipping through the air from a height of 11,000 feet, she pulled her ripcord to open the parachute. At that point, the sight of the power lines rushing up toward her had to have seemed like part of a cruel prank intended to kill her in the most cartoonish way possible. As her jump buddies landed and made their way to her crash site, they feared they would be scraping her charred pancake of a body off the ground.
In Konakova, Russia, two base jumpers climbed one of those giant high-voltage towers that transmit electricity long distances. So, as the unidentified man jumped from the top of the 400-foot-tall tower, his friend filming it for future YouTubing, one immediately notices that his parachute is taking a really long time to open.
Somehow, this gentleman only broke his vertebrae, pelvis and legs, and didn't shatter into a million Russian base jumper pieces. During World War II, Air Force Sergeant Alan Magee flew in the B-17 Flying Fortress that ran missions under the call sign "Snap!
That's because a German fighter had managed to get close enough to shoot the wing off of "Snap!
Fortunately for him, relatively speaking, that building was a local train station that had a huge glass ceiling that he promptly crashed through. For many years, it was rumored that he survived the fall because a bomb exploded directly underneath him and its shock wave slowed his plunge. Of course, said mission turned into the most terrifying disaster movie this side of the SS Poseidon.
Okene ended up bunking in a 4-foot air pocket under the surface, holding back the water as best he could and stacking mattresses as the cold water rose to keep dry.
When the company finally got around to sending a recovery team (they had, understandably, been assuming everyone was dead), Okene gave a diver the shock of a lifetime: The second he heard human sounds, he announced his presence by pounding the shit out of a wall with a hammer. After a quick rescue operation and a stint in a decompression chamber, Okene emerged back in the land of the living, as good as new.
If there's one thing to be learned from notable documentaries such as Twister and Sharknado, it's that tornadoes are as disastrous as tornado movies are terrible. In 2006, the 19-year-old Missouri native was in his grandmother's trailer home when the weather became rowdy. The astonished agents of the National Weather Service measured the precise distance of his flight at 1,307 feet, which is the longest tornado-aided flight a human being has ever survived, especially with such minor injuries. So while most of us were busy building booger constructs and pissing ourselves at the thought of rides at Six Flags, Ollestad was deep sea fishing and going on jungle safaris to find secret surfing spots.
When it came to pure mad skills, Ollestad was the world's best-equipped child to cope with any bullshit fate could throw at him. On February 19, 1979, Ollestad -- 11 at the time -- and his father were flying to Big Bear Mountain to retrieve a trophy he had won the day before. Because the trip had been just their family's version of a quick afternoon errand, Ollestad didn't even have a pair of gloves. After nine hours, Norman finally made it down the mountain in surprisingly good condition, immediately inciting a media frenzy. While Australia holds a virtual monopoly on the most deadly everything on the planet, North America does surprisingly (terrifyingly) well in comparison if you add natural disasters to the mix.
On July 9, 1958, a massive rock slide dropped some 30.6 million cubic meters of rock right into Alaska's Lituya Bay.
Sonny must have been accidentally praying to Poseidon, because the tsunami completely failed to crush them.


Although they described the aftermath of the megatsunami as "something like the end of the world," they seem to be very nonchalant about their own miraculous survival. Allow us to introduce the six most daring men who have ever lived: Colonel Sidney Bruce, Lieutenant Colonel Frank P.
The recording is from July 19, 1957, when these five Air Force volunteers (and one photographer with the worst gig in history) stood directly under a 2-ton nuclear missile that detonated 18,500 feet (not 10,000 feet, as the video claims) above them.
The whole "radiation is harmless" schtick was obviously a load of crap; the radiation from aerial nuclear testing has health implications to the people living in the area even today.
The fact that they all had cancer at some point of their lives is probably just a coincidence. So if we told you that an 18-month-old baby survived a six-story fall from the window of his apartment building unscathed, you'd probably be somewhat dubious. And even though his experience and training kicked in immediately, the chute had already hit the fan (we're less sorry for that one), and the reserve couldn't deploy. Knowing that the end was near, Holmes used his few remaining seconds on this Earth (or above it, if you want to get technical) to wax philosophical on the nature of the universe, brilliantly summarizing the hopelessness of the human situation in a heartfelt, five-word requiem: "Oh, fuck!
Rather than spreading all over the landscape in a thin layer of Michael jam, Holmes survived the fall with a mere broken ankle and a collapsed lung -- all thanks to a lowly blackberry bush.
Unable to free himself and totally powerless to prevent the inevitable, he stopped resisting and surrendered completely to the situation. Once it did, though, the time it took for Lowe's blood-curdling screams to alert his fellow co-workers can only be measured in Planck units.
You hear all the time about people dying because they fell off of ladders, but then you'll hear about a lady who survived a fall out of an airplane. We don't want to promote any national stereotypes, so you can decide for yourself whether or not vodka was involved in this decision. However, in 2006 MythBusters tested out the theory and declared it BUSTED, and that's good enough for us. All of the ingredients were in place: He was young, happy, and gainfully employed as a cook on a Chevron service tugboat. To make things worse, sharks and barracudas soon started roaming the ship's interiors in search of a meal.
It states that when you increase atmospheric pressure (say, by sinking 100 feet underwater), gases become denser. Divers all over the world marvel at his tenacity, as those depths can only safely be dived for about 20 minutes at a time. In an attempt to shield himself from the storm, Suter was just standing on the sofa and attempting to close the living room window. This became even clearer when Suter, wearing only his underpants, was sucked out of the trailer through a collapsing wall into the raging darkness beyond.
By the time Suter regained consciousness, he was lying four football fields away from the remains of the trailer. Really, the only reason we're not thinking Suter is secretly Superman is the fact that in 1955, a 9-year-old girl also miraculously survived a 1,000-foot tornado ride. He became a master at everything extreme, from comfortably riding on his father's back while he was surfing at age 1 to effortlessly skiing impossibly difficult slopes at freaking 4. All he had was an impossibly steep mountainside, his father's training, and a primal will to live.
Ulrich and his 8-year-old son, Sonny, had picked that fateful night for a nice father-son boat trip. Instead, it was all "Guys, you want a ride?" The wave snapped their anchor chain and swept the boat aboard. These guys rode the biggest tsunami in recorded history, and they discuss it with coffee mugs in their hands like it ain't no thing. Ball, Majors Norman "Bodie" Bodinger and John Hughes, Corporal Don Lutrel, and cameraman George Yoshitake.
It starts with five men nonchalantly standing on a patch of desert beside a mildly assholish sign that says "GROUND ZERO -- POPULATION 5." Suddenly, two planes fly over them and launch a nuclear missile that detonates directly above them.
The aim of the stunt was to assure the American public that nuclear radiation wasn't much of a problem, and that air-to-air nukes probably were relatively harmless to people standing directly underneath them, maybe.
And if we then elaborated by telling you that he survived said fall thanks to a well-timed bounce off of the awning of a cafe below, you could be forgiven for thinking that we just sprouted a face-mounted horseshit cannon. And just to put the icing on the ol' bullshit cake, the awning that broke his fall was only open that day because its closing apparatus had broken. But a single 14,000-foot, 100 mph free fall with a gimpy parachute is enough to make even the most seasoned skydiver shit his flapping skypants, same as the rest of us. That's right: He fell two straight miles, landed in a bush, and walked away from it (metaphorically speaking) mostly fine -- save for (presumably) some of those scratch marks that look like pound symbols on his cheeks.
That surprisingly not-mutilated-beyond-recognition woman is South African Christine McKenzie. They broke her fall (without electrocuting her in the process) enough that she found herself still alive after flopping to the ground below.
It is, after all, one of the few times when busting the myth makes it more amazing: All that saved Magee was a split-second pause in his descent caused by crashing through a pane of glass like a goddamned Hollywood stuntman. Still, as we have previously pointed out, under the right circumstances people can be borderline invincible. Suddenly, his ship was hit by what a spokesman later called a "sudden ocean swell" (which is presumably corporate speak for "Shit, we accidentally summoned Cthulhu again").


Trapped in the dark abyss with no one else in sight and wearing nothing but his boxers, Okene waded through the ship's corridors (which were slowly filling with icy water). He could hear them fighting for the remains of his shipmates in other rooms and swimming in the water just below him. Meanwhile, Hollywood screenwriters are still trying to wrap their heads around the fact that a dude who was just about to get married actually survived a disaster. Getting caught in one means a quick, nasty, flying trip at NASCAR speeds, with lethal winds and flying debris in a heated contest to see who can pulverize you first.
The twister had been hurling him around until he ended up in a grass field almost a quarter mile away and across a barbed wire fence. Carry-dragging the injured Sandra with him, he started making his way down, an inch at a time.
A movie is also in the works, although its production has been delayed -- presumably because they're still trying to find an actor who can read the script without being immediately hospitalized by a serious case of spontaneous ball-shriveling. The Ulrichs found themselves riding atop the titanic wave, over fields and forests, at speeds another survivor estimated were close to 600 mph. They didn't fight wars (at least, at the time), wrestle alligators, or brave inhuman weather conditions to earn the Cracked Medal of Misguided Badassery.
The men are startled by the force of the explosion, but otherwise observe it calmly and without fear.
These guys were not shielded from the blast in any way: When the cameraman found out the nature of his mission, all he had to protect himself was a baseball cap.
And that doesn't compare to the story of Troy Duncan, a man who survived being cut in half. And if we further explained that the child also landed smack dab in the arms of a random passerby who just so happened to be a doctor? His entire body (except for his head, which luckily slipped through a bigger gap) was dragged through the 5-inch opening before the machine unceremoniously spat him out the other side. She was a veteran skydiver who was on her 112th jump when everything that could possibly go wrong did, save for maybe getting sucked into the jet engine of a passing airliner. One day when the apparently cereal-hungry sergeant was doing bombing runs over Saint-Nazaire, France, one wing of his plane started making all three of those sounds. Even though the plane was in a deadly spin from that whole lack of a wing thing, Magee was able to escape via a swift eject.
There are a few men and women who have been able to survive things that could -- and by all rights should -- kill a horde of elephants. He managed to locate a source of light, some Coca-Cola, and a few tools, and he made it to a relatively safe corner of the ship. Meanwhile, that lethally cold water aided Okene by absorbing the murderous carbon dioxide he was breathing out, so the CO2 levels never built up to toxic levels, either. Ollestad was more or less OK, because of course he was, but the other survivor (his father's girlfriend, Sandra) had a dislocated shoulder and a busted head. Because the universe really wanted to rub it in, Sandra soon lost her grip and fell right before Ollestad's eyes.
Hanging on by his fingernails, Ollestad made his way down until he finally got to more solid ground. And then there was that one megatsunami that was tall enough to lick the tip of the Empire State Building. They rode the wall of water (which raged back and forth in the bay) for 25 or 30 minutes, until things calmed down.
One of them wears sunglasses and chews gum throughout the process, eyeing the blazing death warrant above him with mild disinterest. Slake your lust for death-defying stories with this list of soldiers who survived unbelievable injuries. Unfortunately, humans don't share many attributes with Play-Doh, and after being extruded through the machine like a wad of fleshy clay, Lowe emerged with a broken back, hips, pelvis, and ribs, with a ruptured stomach and bowels just for good measure. However, while descending to earth, he discovered that he was having an even worse day than he thought. The floor of the trailer started "moving just like Jell-O." A massive force hit the trailer, tearing the doors from their hinges and generally wrecking shit. This less-than-ideal situation was soon made a whole lot worse, because the rescue helicopters completely missed them. We assume that a cloud shaped like a middle finger drifted across the sky immediately afterward.
Having found the challenge slightly too easy, he decided to up the ante by descending the rest of the way by skiing: He used a couple of branches as poles and his sneakers as skis.
Ulrich, being a '50s kind of guy, eyed the all-consuming wall of water, threw his kid a life preserver, and said, "Son, start praying." Then he presumably poured himself a final glass of whiskey and looked around for a secretary to bang. An excited voice narrates the entire video, going apeshit over the explosion as if it were the decisive touchdown at the Super Bowl.
There was far too little air for him to breathe, and he was ruining it with every breath by puffing out carbon dioxide.
He was in free fall, and there was no water, snow drifts or bouncy power lines waiting below.



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Emp threat to power grid

Rubric: Solar Flare Survival



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