When Apple wrote "there's no limit to what your iPhone can do" on its website, did it ever imagine that its flagship smartphone would be put to use as a voodoo doll, a cure for warts, or a means of stalking celebrities? With over 200,000 apps in its iTunes marketplace, it enjoys a huge market lead over competitors. But is quantity really an important factor in the apps race or does it just lead to a proliferation of frivolous applications for people with either too much time or money?
Don't dialThis little app is designed to stop you from making those pesky calls to people you probably wouldn't have dialled had you been sober.
The Don't Dial app tests your sobriety with a number of tasks and will lock down certain contacts on your phone should you fail. The location-based service gives details of the latest hangouts for stars so you can see which celebrities might be lurking in your vicinity or any 'hotspots' they might have frequented in the past. Sending a photograph of your wart to a "professional mental healer" would apparently work a spell that would doom your wart to a VERY slow death. PassionBringing a real sense of purpose to the iPhone's inbuilt accelerometer is this app that measures your competence in bed. The device's microphone and timer are also put to good use with this application that will rate you out of 10 on the basis of duration, orgasm and activity. Ask The HoffI can understand the thrill of asking the Octopus to help you make decisions, but help from the Hoff?
Virtual VoodooNot quite as disturbing as it sounds, this app lets you stick pins into any bitter foe whose face you manage to snap on your iPhone camera.

Paranormal State EMF MeterHave ghosts been bothering you or is it just some dodgy plumbing that makes your hairs stand on end in the long, dark night. Of course if drinking too much should actually be your goal, then drink buddy will also let you track the consumption of you and your friends. Bubble Popper ProNot everybody thinks popping bubble wrap for fun is a complete waste of time.
GottaGoFor people with substantially less time on their hands than the bubble poppers, this app means they need never waste precious time in any social situation they find tedious or uncomfortable.
However its closest competitor, Google, is speedily making up ground with 65,000 apps to feed its growing army of Android smartphones.
CelebspotterIf you are growing sick of random celebrity stalking then here is an app from the king of gossip, OK!, that will allow you to do it in a far more purposeful fashion. I imagine that Steve Jobs invented the iPhone for all sorts of reasons, with the possible exception of this one. This app lets you fart on command with a selection of different farting sounds from the festive favourite Burrito Maximo to the more subtle Silent but Deadly.
This app tries to emulate his remarkable World Cup performance with a psychic app that lets you choose between two different options. He seems to have enough of his own life challenges to be trusted to weigh in on anyone else's.
Just add the face to the creepy little doll and start pricking to send a spiteful little spell.

The Paranormal State EMF Meter will (supposedly) set you straight by measuring any abnormal electromagnetic frequencies. To avoid this and other career limiting situations, the Drink Buddy app will let you set a drinking curfew for yourself with a counter that you can quickly update on the go. Boasting a large blur-proof digital display, you need never forget how much you and your pals really drank that night.
After some subtle prompting, GottaGo will ring them up with a fake phone call that appears real to the rest of the world - including their unsuspecting companion. Friends armed with a pin access code will have the say over if and when you can regain access to certain numbers. Regardless of his lack of credentials as a soothsayer, this app will dole out Hoff-style advice after you ask a question and shake your phone. For variety, bubble wrap enthusiasts can set different colours and sizes and can even enter bubble popping competitions with like-minded people who also have a vast amount of spare time on their hands.
Its called iLickit - and all you have to do is lick the screen to get an expert appraisal of your licking ability.

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Rubric: Canada Emergency Preparedness


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