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And now I wonder what you’d think if I said, hey look I’d like to get your number and a link to your Facebook. We’ll be the undead Dagwood and Blondie When I teach you how to zombie, teach you, teach you how to zombie. It was on No Need to Argue, the second album from the Irish rock band that everyone spent a few years pretending to like. But "Zombie" (along with any Cranberries song, really) carries with it one massively unforgivable sin against science: It fosters faux intellectualism, and faux intellectualism is the fucking worst. Now if I tell you what a nice guy’s supposed to Would that compel you not to scream when I approach you?


And everybody will love you, and you can sing along to this post-apocalyptic, postmortem love song.
It's worse than just being dumb.Apparently, "Zombie" was written on a righteous righteousness tip to call out North Ireland for some serious bitchassness, and that's cool, I suppose. You’ll have to promise me you’ll take this news calmly, But honestly, I’m sort of a zombie.
Brains are all I’ve eaten all week it’s true, But if my heart were still beating, it would beat for you.
When this song got really popular, he started moping around all the time, saying shit like, "I just feel so bad for what's happening in Ireland right now." This from the same guy that drove his car into the side of his mom's house because he got the D and R mixed up on the gear shift. We were on the basketball team together, and he lived two streets from me, so we became friends.


And since he was in our social circle, and since our social circle's ethos was driven by the desire to (a) have people think we were tough and (b) trick girls into considering the notion that we were advanced enough for them to want to give us handjobs, The Cranberries' No Need to Argue album became a part of his discography just as quickly as Too Short's Cocktails.
In the land of the blind, the guys that hang out with the one guy in school from Africa are fucking boss? Something like that.At any rate, one day at lunch, the "Where are you from?" conversation started happening and some big brained kid probed further.



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