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Assertiveness is the ability to state positively and constructively your rights or needs without violating the rights of others.
Acting assertive helps maintain honesty in relationships, allows you to feel more in control of your world, and improves your ability to make decisions.
I was doing some research recently and came across these 3 relevant questions that really got my attention because of how often I get asked these questions by leaders and their staff.  So, I decided to focus today’s article on some ways to answer them. Too often, we miss a message because of how it is delivered.  And, this is especially true if the person delivering the message is someone who we don’t necessarily like or get along with particularly well.
We call them tough personalities or difficult behaviours or even hard-to-get-along-with because this person is someone we don’t feel we connect with and we don’t believe have our best intentions at heart. I’d like to share a fabulous tool which I believe is an essential resource to understanding behaviour and helping us to adjust and adapt ours to get what we want in the workplace or even our personal lives.  It is a framework for understanding human behaviours.
Are you a lot more relaxed in getting to your destination, calmly and quietly outline your thoughts during a conversation, use your hand gestures to gently and correctly make your points known?  Talk about a topic calmly?
Sitting down and getting right to the business at hand – whether it’s answering emails, planning your day, answering calls or making inroads on your workload? Heading for the kitchen or workspace where you know you will meet and be able to connect with and eye-ball someone who you can have a conversation with – whether it’s to do a quick catch-up on recent events, find out what happened at last night’s meeting or catch up on all the latest gossip? Some of you may have found it difficult to “pigeon-hole” yourself because you are a combination of the styles mentioned and this is quite true.  But, for the sake of the total exercise, it’s important for you to clearly identify yourself with only 1 or 2, for both sets of questions.
This FRAMEWORK cuts across the various behavioural profiles that are out there such as DISC, Communication Styles, Colour Styles, Animal Styles as it provides the framework to help you to identify the behavioural styles of your workmates and adapt your language as well as your approach.  These frameworks are broken into a quadrant which includes 4 styles of behaviour.


So, to answer the question you had relating to you being a combination of the different profiling styles listed above – most of us have more of some traits and less of others. Your strong traits are your HIGH traits: 80% of us will have 2 traits that are HIGH and 2 LOW traits. Although it is not mathematically possible to have 4 HIGH traits, it is possible to have roughly equal proportion of the traits – this is known as a level-style blend.
Think now of the people that you get on with the most – what do you share in the way of energy and focus?
And, now think of people you get on with the least – what do you notice about their energy and focus levels compared to yours?
Yes, it is true that we get on better with those who have the same or similar traits to ourselves! But, as we have all found out, we have to work with a lot of folk who are NOT the same as us.  Rather than go through our working lives feeling helpless and powerless to others, if we could learn to adapt our behaviours, we can find a happy medium which allows us to connect with those who are different to us and therefore be able to influence them more positively. If you have HIGH energy levels, try lowering your energy by 1 level.  No, not 2 or 3 levels as this make you end up feeling uncomfortable and false. And, if you have LOW energy levels, try increasing your energy by 1 level – again, you do not want to start off by increasing your energy too high or you will come across as unauthentic and very unlike you. From a focus perspective, it’s about changing your language to adapt to the other person’s focus. For dealing with those who have a PEOPLE focus, try asking a question relating specifically to that person e.g.


Yes, it may feel “fluffy”, but the social focus is after all about the softer, people side of healthy relationships. Make sure you relate your conversation for how you want something done, to how it relates to the other person or their team, making reference to how it will support or engage others. Have You got your Priorities Straight – or have you lost focus?April 30, 2016 By Kerry Anne Cassidy Leave a CommentThis past week our oldest and smallest member of our family, Ziggy, our 15 year old miniature schnauzer, passed away. How Relevant Are You And Is This Affecting Your Career?April 30, 2016 By Kerry Anne Cassidy Leave a CommentOne of my clients is in the pointy end of an acquisition that is ultimately going to result in integration of the vast majority of staff involved and on a global scale and the release of a small number of staff whose roles are no longer relevant. How Habits Hinder Success: Why Eve Ate the Apple and What We Can Learn From HerApril 16, 2016 By Kerry Anne Cassidy Leave a CommentHave you ever set a goal and with determination set out to achieve it, only to give up a few weeks or month’s later? When you use direct, open, and honest communication in the workplace and in relationships to meet your personal needs, you feel more confident, gain respect from others, and live a happier, fulfilled life. I specialise in the science of Emotional Intelligence and incorporate the knowledge, tools and techniques from the fields of Neuro-science, NLP, Positive Psychology and researching global thought leaders.



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