Sep 03, 2013 Sometimes assertiveness gets a bad name, because people confuse it with aggressiveness. Few of us are exactly in the middle of this yardstick, but all of us can benefit from consciously practicing assertive behavior. Count your blessings: Express gratitude for what you have or convey your appreciation to one or more individuals whom you’ve never properly thanked. Cultivate optimism: Imagine and write about the best possible future for yourself, or practice looking at the bright side of every situation. Avoid overthinking and social comparison: Cut down on how often you dwell on your problems and compare yourself to others. Practice acts of kindness: Do good things for others, whether friends or strangers, either directly or anonymously, either spontaneously or planned. Nurture relationships: Pick a relationship in need of strengthening, and invest time and energy in healing, cultivating, affirming, and enjoying it. Do more activities that truly engage you: Increase the number of experiences at home and work in which you “lose” yourself, which are challenging and absorbing.


Replay and savor life’s joys: Pay close attention, take delight, and go over life’s momentary pleasures and wonders – through thinking, writing, drawing, or sharing with another. Commit to your goals: Pick one, two, or three significant goals that are meaningful to you and devote time and effort to pursuing them.
Develop strategies for coping: Practice ways to endure or surmount a recent stress, hardship, or trauma.
Learn to forgive: Work on letting go of anger and resentment towards one or more individuals who have hurt or wronged you. Practice religion and spirituality: Become more involved in your church, temple, or mosque, or reading and pondering spiritually-themed books.
Take care of your body: Engaging in physical activity, meditating, and smiling and laughing. Lawyers who shine in the stress tolerance success factor will face crises and problems rather than surrendering to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.  These lawyers have effective coping mechanisms, remain calm and maintain control, have optimism towards change issues, and appear to be and are stable and relaxed.
Lawyers who have higher social responsibility competency will demonstrate that they cooperate more, contribute more, and more constructively contribute to their social groups relative to those with lesser abilities in this factor.  Those with lesser ability may demonstrate more antisocial attitudes, act abusively, and take advantage of others.


Upcoming CLE OpportunitiesI periodically offer state approved CLE programs that provide a high level, functional introduction to emotional intelligence (EI), the law, and professionalism. When checked, Shutterstock's safe search screens restricted content and excludes it from your search results.
But if there were a yardstick to measure human behavior, assertiveness would fall right in the middle, with passiveness at one end and aggressiveness at the other.
Together, the 1-5-15 factor formula comprises the model which contains the set of emotional and social skills which the EQ-i 2.0 measures. I provide normal personality and emotional intelligence assessments, assessment interpretation and feedback, and professional development planning and training activities for lawyers, judges, other legal services providers, and their organizations. If you see yourself as usually at one extreme or the other, self-esteem may be an issue for you to explore further.



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