About 90% of brides today give up their maiden names after getting married, whether out of respect for tradition, a desire for cohesiveness or even to avoid having to explain family relationships, especially after children enter the picture. But there’s no doubt brides are opting to use their maiden names – as more than just a password hint for online accounts – these days.
But bureaucratic and similarly pragmatic reasons can also sway women in the other direction.
If such considerations seem thoroughly modern, they actually date back to the 1850s in America.
Stone didn’t insist on using her maiden name immediately upon tying the knot, however, referring to herself as “Lucy Stone Blackwell” in her wedding announcements. Some of the most common questions I was asked as a newlywed were, "Does it feel any different to be married?" "Have you got used to calling him 'husband' yet?" and, of course, "So are you taking his last name?" When I answered in the negative (for all three questions, actually), the latter query was followed up with further questions.
I decided at the ripe old age of 15, almost 10 years before I met the man who would become my husband, that I would not change my name for marriage. As I grew older, learning more about gender politics and the inequalities that women still face in society cemented that teenage decision to keep my name. To put it bluntly -- as I sometimes do when people really grill me about my decision -- it's not 1950 and I'm not cattle that needs to be branded with my owner's name. If you are debating whether to change your surname for marriage, don't listen to the people who question your decision -- don't even listen to this article -- but take time to ponder for yourself your thoughts on name and identity, and what's important to you.
As more women postpone marriage until after their early 20s, many feel reluctant to give up the identities, both personal and professional, that their names represent. Hyphenating has become a popular alternative, though many parents are reluctant to then saddle their children with clunky last names that bust out of application form boxes. No word in the history books, though, about whether she chose a monogram or floral motif to adorn her paper stock.


The expectation that women should change their last name for marriage, swapping their own identity for their husband's, is -- inarguably -- sexist. I do think it's unequal that children automatically take their father's name, but other approaches are not yet as widely accepted as women keeping their surnames -- though I think this is will change with time. Whether or not I have the same last name as my child won't stop me loving them or feeling attached to them. However, that's the name I had for the first 29 years of my life before my wedding, and that's who I see myself as. A few decades ago it was common to assume any married woman you met was a housewife; that's not a good reason for women to stay out of the workplace. I love my husband dearly, and hope we are together until we die in each other's arms at the exact same moment at age 100, but it would be naive not to realize that something like a third of western marriages end in divorce.
If you, however, are not as fond of your name or do not see it as part of your identity -- perhaps because it's from a parent you don't have a good relationship with, the name is something you got teased for, or you just feel it's not particularly you -- then I think marriage is a great opportunity to take a new name. If you, too, do think "it's just nice", ask yourself what you find nice about it before committing to a decision. But among the many items on a bride’s checklist is one decision that has lifelong implications (besides picking the lucky guy): whether to change her last name. Both bride and groom can keep their original names, but having to repeatedly explain “Yes, John Roberts is really my husband, even though I’m Emily Jones” can make a person crazy. And I say "inarguably" because no one could claim there is an expectation of the same name-change in men. Also, with this logic, would I no longer feel like I'm part of my parents' family if I take a different surname from theirs? But I believe this should be the case for men as well, and that neither gender should feel obligated to switch names.


Are there no boys in your family to carry on the name?" And then, in a conspiratorial whisper, "Do you not like your husband's last name?
Several times I've introduced myself to someone on email and received a message back signed off with "P.S.
In these days of blended families, the idea that everyone in a family would have the same last name is a touch old-fashioned. Reflective Groom' on meeting me for the first time -- just as people familiar with me greet him as. But the things that make weddings nice are that they bring together family and friends, celebrate your love, and are an excuse for an awesome party.
And if it is so nice to have the same last name as your spouse, perhaps it shouldn't only be women stepping up to make the change. Edgar Hoover Share with your friends Quote of the day Man needs his difficulties because they are necessary to enjoy success. We have categorized all quotes with different topics and tags like love quotes, inspirational, motivational, life, friendship, success, smile, achievement and belief quotes.
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