I searched countless pregnancy blogs and read stories of women who had bled during their pregnancy and gone on to have beautiful, healthy babies. After this happened to me, I spoke with women I felt relatively close to, who had experienced the same thing, and I had never even known. Well, if this is so common, then why do we only speak about it in whispers, if we speak about it at all?
Why, if my neighbor sees me looking sad and asks me if I am okay, is it perfectly acceptable to tell her my aunt passed away, or I lost my job, or I had to put my dog down -- but if I tell her I experienced a miscarriage, I am somehow inappropriately oversharing? Even the prescribed notion that one should refrain from revealing a pregnancy until they "get through" the first trimester is something I intellectually understand, but I have some questions about.
As an actress, I was in a position where I had to tell my employers I was pregnant much sooner than is customary.
Don't get me wrong -- if keeping your own counsel and acting as if you are okay helps you get through, then more power to you. Beyonce wrote a beautiful song about her miscarriage called "Heartbeat," and I have to admit, knowing that Queen Bey experienced something so painful and of this world makes me feel a little less alone. I am not Beyonce (my apologies to everyone, especially myself), but I am a human woman who has experienced the deep sadness of not being able to bring my child into the world. My purpose in writing this is simply to say, if you are part of this sisterhood, you are not alone.
It seems to me that we, as a culture, haven't quite learned how to broach this painful subject. Architect, attorney, badass mother writer and the author of an irreverent novel, Thin Rich Bitches. Discrimination against women in religion is not against the law and it doesn't violate the Constitution.
Our interpretation of the Constitution has changed and evolved over time to reflect changes in our culture and society. Pope Francis wants all of us to be more inclusive of the poor and the disenfranchised in our daily lives. Today is Women's Equality Day and begins the five-year countdown to the 100th anniversary of women's suffrage. Since Secretary Lew announced this initiative in June, I have traveled across the country and met with thousands of Americans to hear their feedback first-hand and learn what democracy means to them. What I love hearing most is when people ask: what else can we do to honor the great contributions that women have made to the history of this country? While the Treasury Department has discretion over currency design, we should all feel compelled to think about the historic nature of this change to our currency and the countless contributions women have made to our democracy, and in our own lives. For a long time I put my faith in the Bechdel test -- surely films with intelligent, strong female characters with passions and problems unrelated to romance would increase men's collective empathy quotient toward women. The Hunting Ground, a documentary about the women who used Title IX to force universities to address sexual assault on campus, is an obvious example of a film meant to provoke activism. As I watched a dozen women share similar experiences of being dismissed and silenced, the primary emotion I felt viewing The Hunting Ground was sorrow -- and this sorrow did not empower me.
If Furiosa had the brass to outrun a warlord in a high-speed desert chase, then I could unapologetically tell my rapist to FUCK OFF when he tried to "friend me" on Facebook.
I did not think it was possible to make a film which allowed me to experience joy in relation to the distress I regularly feel as a survivor.
I find myself on second dates playing a game with myself, trying to see if I can get out of a sexual encounter without exercising the nuclear option and launching my survivorship in self-defense. I took being assaulted as a key turning point in my story, when I found out that I was not the kind of woman I thought I was. Amy Schumer may not have set out to write a comedy for sexual assault survivors, but I think she's succeeded at the impossible. Seeing the right films at the right time can turn a moviegoer into an activist -- but you need perspective on the issue, you need to feel empowered by rage and allowed to feel joy.
Before I saw Trainwreck, I had been wondering if someone would ever have the courage to write a sexual-assault comedy, the way Dear White People cleverly critiqued university race politics. But you have already succeeded at this, first with your "Football Town Nights" sketch, and now with Trainwreck. But you have given me permission to laugh and experience joy while recovering from this trauma, and I am filled with a new confidence that this world can change for the better. Everybody knows that friendships are an essential part of a healthy, happy life; but in this age of Facebook, the word "friend" just ain't what it used to be. 1) The Funny Friend: Hopefully, you instantly identified this person in your mind, the one who can always make you laugh, no matter how bad your day was or what else is going on in your life.
3)The Motivating Friend: You know the one, your friend who probably wears a cape and a mask in some alternate reality.
4)The "Lazy" Friend: The counterpoint to the motivating friend is your friend who calls (or texts) you to announce that they have just eaten an entire box of Pop-Tarts while watching a marathon of The Good Wife.
5)The Old Friend: Not chronologically (necessarily), just a friendship of a long enough duration that no period of your life is unknown to this person. For those who haven't seen the movie yet, here's what happens (yes, this is a spoiler): Maleficent is lured by the future king, a man she grew up with and trusts, to a spot alone in the woods. While it may seem silly to make this connection, it's important to note how significant Maleficent's wings are to her. This is, indeed, the moment Maleficent becomes a villain -- except that she's not really a villain at all. Naturally, she gets her wings back at the end, and while the moment is cliche, it resonates. This was after earning a prestigious Master's degree and studying intensive Dari and Arabic on the weekends. This had been my dream for so long, and the fact that I'd achieved it could mean only one thing: I was successful. And then I judged myself and the entire profession in the way I imagined everyone else would judge me: purple websites with waterfalls, old ladies with outdated job searching tactics, and worse. In a society that defines success in terms of status, title, income, and power, it's not surprising that many people feel tied to the careers that offer those possibilities.
In the words of Steven Pressfield, author of Turning Pro, "to feel ambition and to act upon it is to embrace the unique calling of our souls. When your "success" isn't making you happy, you have no choice but to take an inventory of what that word truly means to you. Since the nest was built about five feet from the earth -- right around my eye level -- I would easily sneak a peek or two at the nest each day. I walked back inside the house and sat near the front window, watching to see if the baby bird would complete the mission. It must be so strange, I thought, to have one view your entire life, to be surrounded by others in the same situation as you. Later that afternoon, I looked out the front window and took a peek at the bush where the baby bird had retreated. I opened the front door and walked outside, stopping right in front of the pine tree with the nest. Whether we're 16 or 60, life is full of leave the nest-I'm scared to death-fight or flight-speak now or forever hold your peace-moments. 2009 I thought i had found my soulmate, but after 15yrs of marriage we discovered that we werent soulmates.
I lay in bed all day and night praying that this was just breakthrough bleeding, or implantation bleeding, or some type of bleeding that didn't mean what I thought it meant.


The point of this article is not to torture you, or make you feel bad for me, or instill fear into the hearts of women and girls everywhere. There were dates that needed to be tended to, and I didn't have the option to wait until the 12th or 14th week to let them know.
Everyone handles grief differently, and I am certainly not suggesting that all women run around telling people they had a miscarriage if that isn't healing for them. Seeing the glorious example of a woman she is for all people inspires me to put on pants with a zipper and leave my house.
He wants us to be more accepting of immigrants and he has issued an urgent plea for action on climate change.
I have a dream that one day all religions will make opportunities and hierarchical positions available to people not based on their gender but based on the content of their character.
2020 is also the year that the United States Department of the Treasury will unveil the redesigned $10 bill, and it will be the first time in over a century that a woman will be featured on U.S. Democracy, the theme for the next family of notes to be redesigned, sends a powerful message both at home and abroad. Sometimes I never get past wondering how this world could possibly be this way, how I could feel every bit as smart as a man and still be treated as less than. This is a long-term goal, but in the short term it is important that we find films which inspire women to change the world themselves. It identifies the root of the problem: that a woman's testimony is treated with suspicion, and so universities to ignore an epidemic of crimes against their female student body. Harnessing that rage is the first step on an activist's path, but continuing the journey requires something else. Like Furiosa in Mad Max, Amy's character is a force, and her reliability as a witness to her own life is never questioned. I recently engaged in the kindergarten version of bystander training with my five-year-old son, whom I've told should not be afraid to say "Hey, that's not cool," when his friends are being unkind or disrespectful to someone else.
I couldn't imagine what this would look like, or how it could possibly create humor without offending those it was designed to help, but we needed it. Though your film may not be about a survivor, I identify with your character's determination to protect herself from further harm. Despite my many shortcomings and missteps, I have rediscovered the courage I thought I'd lost, and I intend to put it to good use.
This person is comfortable with mess, both theirs and yours, and is there to let you off the hook on days when you know for a fact you are going down.
I once corresponded with a girl I met on Cape Cod for a year just because we had the same first name!
This being a remake of a Disney classic pitched to mainstream movie-going pocketbooks, it's no surprise that the film can only be so bold.
While wrapped in his arms, she is drugged, then brutally stripped of her wings while she lies passed out in the night.
They are her source of power in a conflicted world, and as she ages, they increase in power. Her choices are driven at every turn by this moment of betrayal, and what happens next is really a survival story, as she slowly learns to love and trust again. She reclaims what was taken, and when the man who so viciously betrayed her lies dead on the ground, she hovers over him in flight, a victim turned victor. One hopes the young girls who watch the film hold tight to their own wings, knowing they can never truly be taken away.
When I really took stock of what I had, I realized that my ideas of success were completely intertwined with other people's opinions of me.
I've had clients who are scared to abandon their careers because they've earned advanced degrees, taken on debt, and made major life decisions and even cross-country moves to accommodate a career they desperately want to be rid of. That fear of judgment might have kept me from pursuing a coaching career, but I already knew how unhappy the alternative made me.
However, one glance at the shelves of Barnes and Noble's self-help department says it all: Most of today's best-selling leaders talk about success in terms of authenticity and happiness. Don't let the opinions of outsiders or the fears of your subconscious interfere or stand in your way.
We tell them we can't WAIT to be adults, can't WAIT to stay up as long as we want, doing whatever we want, eating whatever we want and not gaining weight in the process. We aren't all in the same grade, learning about the Revolutionary War and the square root of pi. As weeks passed, I watched the babies go from writhing naked bodies to little fluff balls with gaping mouths to almost full-grown robin birds, all gray feathers and red breasts. He had already flown out of the nest successfully -- flew or hopped, I'm not sure -- now he just needed to go out into the world.
Then, one day, you're on the bottom looking up and you're all alone and you can't go back, no matter how hard you try. It's hard to take on the world by yourself -- without the agendas and the lunch hours and going with the flow in a school of fish.
Whether you're the bird leaving the nest, or you're leaving a guardian, a house or a hometown, a job or relationship, if you are stuck feeling empty, it means you need to go get full again. When my fiance, Patrick, and I first saw and heard our little peanut's heartbeat, a wave of love washed over me that I had not known was possible. I grasp not wanting every single person you know to be intimately involved in your private business.
What I am suggesting is that, if this is something that truly affects so many women and their partners (some statistics say 1 in 3 pregnancies, some say 1 in 5), then perhaps we need to encourage a cultural environment more conducive to empathetic understanding. Sometimes it can be helpful to know that someone out there has felt the same pain as you, and that they are holding you in their heart.
But it is discrimination based on gender and some of us find discrimination based on gender to be wrong. Why not interpret religion with an open-mindedness and inclusiveness to reflect a more equitable treatment of women? I would like him to be more inclusive of women in the hierarchy of the church, to be more accepting of women priests, bishops and cardinals so that women would be eligible to be the Pope.
But for now, unfortunately, that's just a pipedream for half the people in the world who happened to be born female.
In exercising his responsibility to select currency features, Secretary Lew is asking the American people to share ideas of what woman they believe best represents our inclusive democracy.
Today, Americans have many more ways to express ourselves and make a difference, especially with the power of social media. The conversations about who the next generation of currency should honor have been an opportunity to highlight a number of women, both recognizable names and some that might be lesser known that have made an impact on the history of this country.
What sets Furiosa apart from other action heroines was her male counterparts' faith in her abilities. You think you've hammered your trauma into submission, and when it reappears you try a new strategy.
A booze-swilling serial-dater terrified of emotional intimacy, Amy may not be carrying the same wounds I do, but hers result in behavior similar to mine -- and Trainwreck invited me to laugh at it. The male villain is driven by greed and ambition, while the female villain is driven by heartache and emotion. Which makes it all the more notable that, in one scene, the film is shockingly bold, in a way no Disney film has ever dared to be.
When she awakens, her majestic wings taken from her, she howls with a deep agony that is surprisingly wrenching for a children's film.


And what happens next is in many ways the story of how a woman overcomes the harrowing pain of that deep betrayal. Like a young woman's sexuality, they are precious, and the crude way in which they are sawed off her back -- her trust broken, her body violated -- leaves her ravaged inside and out. I was making roughly six figures, racking up awards, promotions, and countless compliments and approving smiles from the people in my life who watched as my career trajectory skyrocketed. The world is full of noise, and as anyone who has ever been faced with a tough decision knows, there are plenty of people out there who have opinions about how you should be living your life.
They have a mental catalog of feedback they've been collecting from other people over the years. We all have subconscious beliefs -- usually formed early in life -- about what success looks like. The realization that my definition of success was driven by fear, ego, and others' impressions of me sent me into a quarter life crisis. After leaving my job, I began networking again, hoping to get clear on what I truly wanted to do. Once you get clear what you're scared of, take it as an indicator that you're moving closer to what you truly want to do with your life. Patrick and I loved each other so much that we created a person together, and that person was living inside my body. In the midst of all of the accolades, however, it's easy to forget that the Pope is the head of a multinational religion with 1.2 billion followers and a glass ceiling deeply rooted in sexism. I would like him to issue an urgent plea to treat men and women equally inside and outside of the church. And while putting a woman on currency may sound simple, there are many aspects of redesigning the next family of notes we must take into consideration. So it is especially fitting that since Secretary Lew's announcement, the American people have responded through Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, emails and handwritten letters to tell us what they think about currency redesign -- all combined, there have been more than 1.5 million interactions so far.
Our goal was to have this be the start of that conversation and putting a notable American woman on our currency is just one way we can pay tribute. Max never reminded Furiosa that she was "just a woman" or asked, "Have you ever been mistaken for a man?" She was allowed to be a woman, strong and believed, all at the same time. I had the knowledge and the rage, but without the joy that took my damaged ego out of my activism, I would not be able to fully believe that world change could start with me, without it being all about me and my story. Physical intimacy alternately numbs and terrifies me, resulting in a random pattern of reckless promiscuity and literally running away from dates who seem too coercive. The trio of fairies watching over Aurora -- doddering, catty, dumb -- embody every possible stereotype of matronly, middle-aged womanhood. In fact, studies show a whopping 70 percent of Americans read product reviews prior to making a purchase -- it seems we want to hear everyone's two cents prior to venturing any risk. More often than not, the words of the naysayers become a self-sabotage mechanism, and my clients use them to protect themselves against the vulnerability of pursuing what they truly want. The trouble is that we have no reason to question these ideas until we've followed our preconceived "roadmap to success" and realized it leads to a dead end. Check in with yourself so you can be more conscious on what inspires your decisions as you move forward. We realize that maybe, just maybe, we really didn't know everything back then, since we sure are aware of how little we know now.
Our days aren't divided by first period English, second period Geometry, who's in first lunch, who got to second base, bathroom whispers and hallway swagger. So I was surprised to see the nest not entirely empty that day, but occupied by one lone robin. Is this customary recommendation to wait 12-14 weeks before telling people designed to protect the mother, or those who might be made to feel uncomfortable if they knew a loss occurred?
In addition to considering whose portrait should be featured, we're also exploring ways to incorporate the theme of democracy and what types of security measures we need to take to ensure that the note works in commerce and is safeguarded from counterfeiting. I was ashamed of still being a "trainwreck." Even after nine years of therapy, I was still useless to myself and to the cause. When I started polling the opinions of those around me, the response was unanimously one of shock: You want to leave your sparkly job in this economy? Once you have a good grasp on what you want to do, stop asking others to weigh in -- period.
High school is hard, and yet the boundaries, the rules, the rigidness, can give us a perimeter to live within.
He sat, eyes beady, looking unsure of what to do with all of that room without his brothers and sisters. Now the bird was sitting in a low bush near the ground, about a foot next to the pine tree. I went home after our doctor's appointment with the sweet rhythm of that heartbeat on a magical loop in my mind. As terrified as I was of the unknown, I knew the status quo wasn't sustainable -- I was just too unfulfilled. In the process, I learned a lot about what other people wanted to do professionally, and I shared a lot of my own insights and advice.
Making all of these life-altering, mind-boggling, often expensive, sometimes painful decisions? Most of it did nothing more than cloud my own judgment and vision about what I already knew I truly wanted.
As the people around me implemented my suggestions in their own lives, they began seeing results.
Nowadays many of us have a lot of friends from other places, and this is a very, very good thing. As I am a female that there is a male counterpart out there somewhere and that when we combine we become a whole person.I don't know, I DON'T feel like I am walking around with only half a soul. Maybe someone that is crazy beautiful and smart and sweet and sexy and capable of putting up with all my bullcrap ? Heck YES!!!(HE IS OUT THERE ISN"T HE?????) But they are few and far between, and although I might be willing to be completely and totally devoted to them does not mean that they will feel the same. But , reality is only a matter of perception, and what might to me be reality, could to you be a completely different and no less wrong reality. 2009Quote from karebear70:I worked very hard for years on me following my divorce and another devestating relationship. LOL! I don't think I shall waste my time providing any further information or expatiation of a concept to you, since it appears you have a habit of misinterpreting what i have said or even comprehending its complexity and breadth. It makes my day. And finally, when your idea of trustworthiness becomes actual trust, and when creditworthiness becomes actual credit, let me know. I rest my case, temporarily, until you decide to continue this aimless banter which i am enjoying.
Clearly, there is a conceptual deficit in your comments, and it is futile for me to continue to try and explain these ideas.



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