I have often worked with people who whilst generally coping well with their lives, feel unhappy or unfulfilled and feel that something is lacking.  Generally these clients don’t have a diagnosable mental health problem, though will often disclose that they consider themselves to be “worriers” and “too sensitive for my own good”.
During our first session we explored his satisfaction with the various aspects of his life that were important to him, e.g. I often find that many people have not given much thought as to the priorities of their values and as a consequence may find themselves ‘chasing’ something that other people value rather than what motivates them.  As James had stated in our initial telephone contact that he was less happy at work, even though we found it difficult to pin down the reasons why in our first session, I asked him to take some time to notice what occurred during the upcoming week that might elicit difficult feelings for him. During our second session we reviewed James list of values and we noted that some of the values that appeared near the top of his list, e.g. Over the course of sessions 2 through 4 we spent time exploring how James could change some of his activities to be more in line with his values.  He confided that he had always felt a sense of disappointment that he had not continued with his academic studies after his degree and gone on to study for a PhD.
I saw James for a total of 10 sessions and during sessions 5 through 10 we agreed on various strategies that enabled James to check out his negative interpretations of events and as the positive data accumulated he became far more positive in his opinion of how other people viewed him and more willing to check out any ambiguous situations.  He also embarked on his Spanish studies and reported that he was enjoying his evening each week at college. Like James, you may be experiencing similar general feeling of dissatisfaction in your life.
Recent Posts Can you Control what you Eat?April 13, 2014Are some of us hardwired to eat too much? And in the comments below, make sure to let me know how you are going to reclaim your self-esteem – starting now. Well the reason why is because there is a truth detector inside us that knows when you are bullshitting, and when you are not bullshitting.
Right, you got to exercise every day and maybe not intensely, but at least a little bit every day. You know, don’t go and get a work out partner who is at the same fitness level as you are, get someone further down the road so when you want to stop they are going to say NO, keep going!
Where are you going towards a healthy relationship, but maybe cheating on the person or lying to them, or lying to them, or emotionally cheating?
Where are you at with integrity and what could be 5 ways, that starting right now, that you could bring yourself back into integrity with what you actually want?
And there is that part of you that is calling bullshit, affirmations are wonderful I use them all the time, and I advise my clients to use them.
Can you believe it my new book “Daily Love Growing into Grace” is out now, I can’t wait to share it with you. This video was so synchronistic for me today as I am guiding kids how to have more self-confidence!! We are grateful to have you a part of the Daily Love community Cheri <3 thanks so much for being here!
5 esteem able acts: 1) Go to early bootcamp class 4days this week 2) Find a local group to network within the job search 3) Make daily action plans for job search 4) Go to yoga class 5) Write in gratitude journal!!!! NOTE- Being Vulnerable and Graceful feels so much more honest than constantly being defensive and argumentative. As I read all the comments, I am struck by how much we are all the same, just trying to be better, kinder, fitter while working, studying, being in relationship with others. I am working at that honour myself path for a year now and I think it is time to master it, my heart is calling for attention. Mastin – this makes sense except for where you suggest aligning with people that are further down the road. There was a time when people would suggest that to boost your self-esteem you should look in the mirror and tell yourself repeatedly that you are special. Within resiliency, self-esteem is based upon identifying your strengths, valuing your accomplishments, ensuring you believe in your capacity to bounce back and an understanding of how you overcome the stresses which inevitably occur in your life. Competence, Educational Ability, Honesty, Humour, Independence, Family Support, Flexibility, Physical Attractiveness, Positive Relationships, Previous Successes and Spirituality. When considering the above list a highly resilient person will be able to identify a range of areas from which they gain their self-esteem. Sadly, we live in a culture where we are more likely to consider what is wrong with ourselves, our significant others, our home, our financial circumstances and the life we lead rather than what is right about each of these areas.

Our training courses create an environment where personal resilience is enhanced and well-being is protected, enabling people to respond effectively to challenges and perform at their best. We provide in company training courses to private and public sector organisations throughout the UK. You know this can get caught up in the idea of self-love, self-esteem all that type of stuff, but what is self-esteem? Right, and when you are bullshitting, well, you are not really esteeming yourself, because the way you are esteeming your self are through esteem-able acts. So you know this, and you start going down that path and then maybe a couple of days into it you are starting to feel good about it.
It’s the way you interpret events, the meaning you give events, and ultimately if you want to get your self-esteem back it’s like what do I want first of all?
Right, you want to surround yourself with people who are further down the road who can call you on your B.S.
So think about your life, think about the goals that you want; maybe you want a loving relationship, maybe you want a healthy body, or you want to have financial abundance in your life, or you want to get away from toxic people in your life, or you want to create a business, or whatever it is you want to do, right, where are you at with integrity, where are you going towards a healthy body, but stuffing your face full of sugar? But affirmations without aligned action and esteem-able action, kind of worthless, they are just words that you tell yourself when the rest of your body goes and calls bullshit.
Head on over, leave a comment as most importantly and as always here at Daily Love TV, take action and make it real. I have totally experienced that this week: doubting myself because of the opinions of others or even just the thought of what their opinions might be can be debilitating.
Focus on Empowerment for myself and others in Nursing- write the email summarizing clear boundary violations and listing ways to fix them. I was going to watch your video to help my teenage daughters, but instead it motivated me to help myself. This advice on self esteem is the best I have ever heard (and from years of counselling, I have heard a lot of advice). The course looks amazing, but after careful consideration and a talk with my therapist I have decided I am not ready for the course this year. It is now thought that this advice was unhelpful and could, indeed, be damaging by setting you up for disappointment when the ups and downs of the real world step in, causing feelings of disillusionment which could lead to a sense of low self-esteem and potentially unhealthy behaviour. Conversely, if someone receives their self-esteem from only a couple of areas they are leaving themselves vulnerable to experiencing low self-esteem.
So we need to re-train our thinking to find, apply and practice our strengths rather than obsessively trying to correct our weaknesses.
Be kind to yourself and make sure you take some time out for yourself; see our related article “Is self-care an indulgence or an essential part of becoming resilient”.
Try not to be negative, everyone has their problems and although your support network will listen to yours, going on about them can lead you to become isolated if they are your only topic of conversation.
Stand up for yourself and do what you believe in rather than following others and doing what you feel others expect.
You can access them all from this post Resilience Skills: An A-Z of definitions of the terms used. We specialise in practical training aimed at developing resilience, minimising the risk of stress and enhancing well-being within your organisation.
And there are all kinds of ways that we learn about how we can get self-esteem into our lives, right, we can do affirmations, we can go to personal growth retreats, we can read books, we can attend seminars, we can do all these things.
Right, like for example let’s say that your goal is to lose weight and you know that for you to lose weight you basically you got to cut sugar out of your diet, you got to eat a healthy diet, you got to eat a lot of healthy fats and fiber and greens and stuff like that and you got to exercise. And a funny things start to happen when you surround yourself with people who are further down the road than you, right, when you do esteem-able acts, when you trust yourself, when you act in integrity with the actual things that you want POOF self-esteem emerges. What can be 5 esteem-able acts that you know if you are really honest with yourself that you need to be doing?
So what can be those 5 ways that you can bring yourself back into having esteem for yourself?

We all know this is true, we just don’t want it to be, then we have to get off our butts!!
What I am taking out of this video is to continue to do the things you know to do that bring you into integrity for yourself. The people I am trying to learn from don’t necessarily have time for me nor want to work with me because they are also chasing after people that are more advanced than themselves. No-one likes a show off but mentioning a success to a friend and patting yourself on the back will boost your morale. It can be as simple as a cup of tea at a favourite cafe but ensure you celebrate your successes. Because you are staying in the integrity that you want, but if you go off the wagon and start downing the snickers bars and not working out like are you going to esteem yourself, are you going to have self-esteem?
I’ve had two bad eating days in a row, eating pastries that make me feel like a zombie.
I am going to 1 smile more 2 compliment people more 3 Notice more and be grateful more for all the kind things people do for me 4 Do more kind actions for people 5 Be less critical of myself.
At the meet and greet I wanted to stay in the back of the room, but you inspired me to make it closer to the front, next time maybe front row Ha!Ha!…and I’m loving your new book! If it continues too much even after bringing it up a few times (which i do) they are people I just need to avoid. I have to focus on people who make me feel valuable and ditch the fair weather friends, once and for all. When asked, Susan feels her self-esteem is built solely on previous workplace successes and feelings of competence relating to her job role. Have you read all the books, all the personal growth, all the affirmations, all that stuff and there is still apart of you that’s like “bullshit”? For example if you want to lose weight, take advice from fit people right, you don’t want to take weight loss advice from someone who is 300 pounds overweight. I have to stop stressing about where to move to next and focus on what I want, then follow the path that corresponds with it. If Susan’s boss was to leave and her new boss did not hold the same opinions relating to Susan’s competency and therefore stopped praising her work, it would not be long before Susan’s self-esteem plummeted.
And you can sit here and say all the positive affirmations you want that I love myself, I love myself, I love myself but if you are doing action contrary to your own conscience, contrary to that truth detector inside of you, you are never going to esteem yourself.
Planning my meals, tracking my food, walking every day, reading the support website and reading my books instead of watching TV and checking my email all the time. So it is important to look at ourselves from many different angles and consider our strengths in a wide range of areas. And the other thing is if you are looking for your self-esteem in other relationships, outside jobs, approval from other people, you setting yourself up for major, major let down because can you control other people? Love my family – show it by hugging them, being present, happy, and open and curious to their lives 4.
Preparing my lesson as best I can for the kids, really getting more creative than usual and writing it all out. Sending my energy healing info to a yoga studio, for them to post, so I can begin using their space and gaining more clients! Feel my feelings FIRST — take a reading of how I am feeling and sit in that feeling and recognize it for what it is,and not be afraid of my feelings. Am struggling with serious depression feeling like such a failure, a screw-up – in general.

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    Sitting mindfulness meditation are also helpful the Zen tradition of week since my retirement in 2011, from a aggravating.