Aside from the basics like eye contact and a confident stance, you’ve got to try and express yourself with authenticity and security.
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October 2, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 37 Comments In the spirit of truth-sharing, I’ll tell you that being the wife I am called to be is my weak area, my Achilles heel.
Like many married couples, we tend to get caught up in the cycle of an argument that’s been played out time and time again. Revisiting those same issues makes us feel like failures, trapped by the past, stalled in our progress. I don’t want to be fatalistic or resigned in my outlook, even though I may feel that way at times. Marriage teaches me things about myself that I loathe: how selfish I am, how easily offended, how weak and needy.
By far the most difficult times in our marriage occur when we are both bearing unusual burdens that slowly wear us down, burdens like extended illness, or financial stress, or parenting issues, or major decisions, or unpredictable catastrophes. The problem is that in wishing my husband would take on that role of Rescuer, I’m asking him to fill a space only our Father God can truly fill. I wrestle, too, with feelings of disappointment and unkind thoughts toward a husband whom I truly wish to respect. So, how can I love my husband                                                           when I feel unloved? How can I be so filled with the Spirit, so filled with the Father’s love for my husband, that I have a constant and abundant supply to give?
The Father can melt my stubbornness, soothe my anger, hold my hurt, and forgive my sin, too. He can also help me see the truth in the situation and  who my husband is in the Father’s eyes, a dearly beloved son.
When I see that truth, who my husband really, truly is at heart, I’m overwhelmed by compassion and ashamed by my traitorous thoughts.


But at last I see that we two are the same: lonely, weary hearts in search of love and acceptance and a Rescuer. Instead of being angry with my hubby for failing to rescue me, we can turn hand in hand to the Father, the One who rescues us both.
Sometimes I just feel like completely giving up my husband is so mean angry and unloving with me.
I never feel so much like Paul in Romans 7, battling with the flesh, as when marital issues arise.
One way God has been using this to teach me in the past several days is to point out that I am engaging in a bit of idolatry. WordPress hasn’t been notifying me of all of my comments, so if I forget to actually go in and check the comments, they just sit there unseen.
Check out another post of mine 6 Ways to Stir Up Love in a Difficult Marriage for even more ideas. I have searched for so long for someone else who feels keenly the disappointment and ache of our Father and Lord NOT being a physical presence here yet, and is strong enough to admit it! After all, God cannot help with the bedtime routine or sweep the kitchen or sign permissions slips or pay the bills, at least not in a physical sense. After 33 years of marriage, I certainly know how much work it takes to maintain a marriage. I recently quit my job to stay at home, and now I have been feeling so worthless an unloved. Im so glad i happened upon it, im not married yet but I am engaged to be and have found myself worried and upset and arguing for no reason every since the recent passing of my Grandmother. I’m so thankful that you found this here today, and I pray that it continues to bring you comfort in the months to come. In these experiences, I’ve provided examples and  genuinely expressed how they can work in almost any situation.
It is not a bad thing to want a good marriage, but it is wrong to put that much importance on it.
My husband and I both love the Lord with all our hurts, but our marriage is definitely not anywhere near perfect.


My fiance has been here to talk to but just handles these things differently than what im used to, its not his fault and i need to be more understanding. Thankfully we have that promise in Christ that the good work He began will someday be complete! That’s all I can do right now, but I believe it is the best thing I could possibly do. We spend so much time trying to keep up with the kids and life…that we rarely spend true time together.
My husband and I are under a lot of stress with finances and home life…along with my husband working and going to school full time. Those who do understand this, and try to live His love out, are very often taken advantage of, which makes loving His way that much harder to do and takes that much more of a toll.
Also, communication is the key, we had to learn how to do that respectfully by going to marriage retreats and talking to mentoring couples. In the midst of being taken advantage of, however, the hunger and desperation for such love is revealed. He makes me feel so unloved but I am trying to be understanding even when I don’t have much left to give when I feel so down. Lastly, we had to take ownership of our own desires to be happy, because happiness is a slippery emotion that comes and goes whether the people around us tries to keep the emotion present or not. For me, especially, hearing someone else validate that such feelings are normal is a huge burden lifted. Either way, a godly counselor would be able to help you dig into the root issues underlying the behavior. Doing so sets the tone for the way other people interact with you, how much joy you allow yourself, and the life experiences you attract.
Owning your personal power not only greatly enhances your ability to accept and feel joy in your life, but it also inspires others to do the same for themselves!



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