If you had MASSIVE amounts of confidence in yourself, how would your life be different right now? But waiting for external factors to give you confidence is like building your house on sandy ground. The majority of men who are active in the dating scene are a good example of this common approach. This approach may work, but this type of confidence reveals itself to be weak further down the road.
This type of confidence is built on external validation from women and the responses received, and not from within, and so when the flood comes, their confidence goes with it. For example, one day a woman might shatter their ego by leaving them for another man, or worse, telling them they are not satisfying any of their needs. At this point most men will start to doubt their worth and their confidence level will drop tremendously, and it’ll affect the way they approach future relationships. So the confidence doesn’t come from how many women you can attract, but comes from being a man who is always moving towards his goals and being unshaken by the inevitable ups and downs of living life. A man who has dominion over themselves has self-integrity – staying true to their words and commitments. Every time we fail to listen to our inner voice, and do not take action in something that we need to, we lose trust with ourselves and our abilities.
The more we proactively direct ourselves and succeed at doing so, we create momentum that sets us on an upward spiral towards unstoppable confidence. On the flip side, when we put off what we want to do or know we should do, we lose momentum, and more importantly, we lose trust in ourselves. Conversely, if our assistant procrastinates or complete misses deadlines regularly, we will lose faith in their abilities to follow through. Your ability to take control of yourself and move towards your heart’s deepest desires will give you loads more confidence than any external factors like how much money you have, the car you drive, or how many women flirt with you can ever give you. In order to build your self-esteem, you must establish yourself as the master of your own life.
I really don’t know what to say but this is really an amazing article, I needed this and I really appreciate it, thank you so much. Momentum is good in that what we choose to do repeatedly becomes a habit and part of our character.
Confidence will allow you to reach your potential, but only time and hard work can allow you to surpass it.
So thank you, sincerely, for such a great article (and props to the person who first stumbled it ?? Nice find that will begin to make a difference in _my_ life starting now. There is so much bullshit out there on how to gain that elusive level of confidence necessary that it is refreshing to see someone giving practical steps towards achieving it. So that’s what the sinking feeling in my gut was every time I knew I needed to do something. That was a very good article and I found it to have extremely useful information in it, that is not only practical but reasonable as well as outlined in a clear and simple to understand outline. I agree with your Blog and I will be back to check it more in the future so please keep up your work. Those things, especially realizing it’s okay to be who you are, flaws and all, are the other part of achieving a peace with yourself. What would be the result?  You’ll have greater passion as you pursue your goals and dreams in life.
It’s almost as if character traits can be developed and habit-forming as we practice them. Armed with this knowledge, practicing active visualization is a great key for developing or incorporating a new character trait.
If you don’t have the will to succeed with your goals, I think I could safely say that you either have the wrong goals, or you need stronger resolution or will to succeed.


How strong would be your own will to succeed be- if you’d be able to experience fulfillment, success and confidence?
In the past, my own expectations of myself and for developing a better life were relatively low.  At times, my confidence would hit rock-bottom.
If you’re struggling with low expectations and in gaining confidence, I hope the above list greatly motivates you as you pursue your goals and dreams. In my next post, I’ll write about the link between your confidence level and the values you hold. As qualified and experienced coaches, we have helped many, many clients with issues about confidence and have now written a book about how to increase your confidence.
They try to attract as many women as possible, allowing their confidence with women to grow only when they attract a better woman than their last. Their confidence is not grounded upon past experience or external validation, but their confidence is built on the belief that no matter what happens, they can trust that they’ll handle it and take immediate correct action.
It’s our ability to get ourselves to actually do what we want ourselves to do; in other words, self-discipline and self-trust. This lack of self faith continues to spiral downwardly as we flounder to control ourselves. When we do something well, regardless of how small the task, we build positive energy and momentum. You will have built the momentum necessary to getting things done, and you are simply riding on that energy and building on previous successes. The better they perform on the tasks assigned to them, the more confident we will feel towards their abilities to handle responsibility. The more we follow through with actions, the more confidence and trust we’ll establish with ourselves.
Each time we successfully follow through, we build trust in ourselves to keep pushing forward beyond our current comfort zone.
The trick is to start with where you’re at and go one notch above what you’re comfortable doing. Do Something that Scares You – As with all skills, we get better with practice and repetition. Set Goals – According to a study done at Virginia Tech, 80% of Americans say they don’t have goals. Get Clarity on Life Areas – Get clarity on the life area that needs the most attention.
Get Motivated – Read something inspirational, listen to something empowering, talk to someone who can uplift our spirits, who can motivate us to become a better person, to live more consciously, and to take proactive steps towards creating a better life for ourselves and our families. Getting External Compliments – As funny as this point suggests, go find a friend or family member and ask them “What do you like about me?” “What are my strengths?” or “What do you love about me?” We will often value other people’s opinions more than our own.
The more power you have in getting yourself to take the right actions, the more self-confidence you will have.
Knowing you can do something and doing it, is far different than doing something even though you’re not sure you can. We have confidence in our ability to drive, do our jobs, etc… Fear is what keeps us from doing greater things, and that is not something an itemized list can overcome. As much as I view this site for fashion, these articles were what got me hooked a long time ago and this one is perfect. I hope to use your article as a guide to helping me get back to where I belong and once had been and begin to build the momentum to get back on the horse.
This way you will always have to set goals to achieve, will you every become that person you imagen yourself to be? We’re transparent, independent, passionate community and we’re crazy enough to think that we can make things happen. If it would be strong, you must step outside your comfort zone to experience your dreams in life.


We stop giving them tasks (at least the important ones), and we start to look for a replacement assistant. When we begin with small successes, we build momentum to gain more confidence in our abilities.
The more often we proactively do things that scare us, the less scary these situations will seem, and eventually will be rid of that fear. Socializing with others will give us opportunities to connect with other people, and practice our communication and interpersonal skills. And the people who regularly write down their goals earn nine times as much over their lifetime as people who don’t. Regularly doing things that you are good at reinforces your belief in your abilities and strengths.
When you help other people feel better about themselves and like themselves more, it will make you feel good about yourself. We are the best at beating ourselves up for things not done well, and we are the worst at recognizing what we’ve done well in. Some people think that when they’re in a slump, using positive affirmations will help them get out of it. It looks like you’ve been doing this for a while now, how long have you been blogging for?
Each completed task, regardless of how small, is a building block towards a more confident you. By setting goals that are clear and actionable, you have a clear target of where you want to be. One of the biggest reasons people get lazy is because they don’t have a plan to achieve their goals. For example, if you were the only person in the world, do you think you could have low-self esteem? Hearing from another person our strengths and positive qualities helps to build a more positive image of ourselves. What are some small actions you can take immediately to demonstrate that you are capable of achieving goals you’ve set for yourself? When you take action towards that goal, you’ll build more confidence and self-esteem in your abilities to follow through.
Whenever I have a few hours filled with ways in which I’ve maximized my time, I feel highly productive and this boosts the confidence have in my abilities as an organized and efficient person. Maybe giving them a genuine compliment, helping them with something or telling them what you admire about them.
Self-esteem only comes into the picture when there are other people around us and we perceive that we are inferior.
For example, clean out your closet, organize your papers, pay all your bills, or just make that call to that girl already. When you’re baking a cake, it’s a lot easier to follow a set of clear instructions, than randomly throwing ingredients together. Say something like “I am sitting here being very unproductive right now, is this the ideal me? Accept that it’ll serve you more to just go down your own path at your own pace rather than to compare yourself. I have five weeks to complete it (which is realistically more than enough), and I’ll get the joy of accomplishing something. When you are done, write a description of this person and all the attributes you’ve observed.



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