In the wake of liberalism and political correctness, more and more parents are latching on to the notion of self-esteem. Those who grew up swimming in the sea of the self-esteem movement were slapped in the face when the reality hit that not everyone is going to give you accolades or pats on the back.
Now that I am a parent, I caution myself in praising too much or praising the wrong things. I am certainly still figuring out the balance between praising my children and giving them unnecessary compliments. One thing the Lord has showed me is that children, do not in fact, gain self-esteem because someone lavished verbal praise upon them. Even though this blog entry is over a year old, I see that no one has commented on it yet, so I’ll do the honors. This theory insists that the self-esteem in view cannot be based on performance but must be unconditional. This unconditional type self-acceptance was essential because it contained the assertion that I am great just because I am me. This movement is an outgrowth and expression of Carl Rogers’ personality theory that we described in an earlier post. Note that central to this theory is the need for the individual to accept himself unconditionally, i.e. This peerless curb appeal resulted in almost instant adoption of self-esteem as a critical component of American culture. The role of self-esteem within our culture was expanded by its application to virtually every type of relationship. Adding to the marketing appeal and broad application of the self-esteem movement described above was the fact that this approach to psychological health and success could be applied on a self-help basis. Consequently, we see that the self-esteem movement became the packaging through which unconditional acceptance became the core concept of our culture. This leads us to ask whether self-esteem accomplishes what Carl Rogers and other propagators of the concept promise that it will do. Because their parents bought the lie too, that building a child’s self-esteem is critical to raising an emotional healthy child.
I try to avoid verbally praising my children for things that I expect them to do, like sit at the dinner table and eat dinner, or pick up their toys, or be kind to one another.


Rather, self-esteem and self-efficacy develop from discipline, healthy boundaries, and in knowing the person of Jesus. I would just sit there and listen to what THEY have to say, which is something that no one else did”. The movement did not call people to discipline themselves, work hard, and develop significant skills so that they could feel good about themselves and have confidence in their abilities.
This confidence not only assures unwavering self-esteem because it requires no conditions, but perhaps more significantly it stresses my innate value as an individual. This theory asserts that receiving unconditional acceptance enables the individual to accept himself unconditionally, which invariably leads to maturity and success.
It assigns me the right to feel good about myself without self-discipline, work, assuming responsibility, or developing character.
Does it in fact free the individual of harmful symptoms, instead developing them into psychologically healthy and successful people? Children born in the 70’s and 80’s were raised based on the idea that building self-esteem is a critical component to raising well-adjusted children. In Ottawa, Canada a rule has been established by the local soccer league stating that a team cannot win by more than 5 goals. There are certain things expected of us in life and there are other things for which we must strive.
That’s not to say though that we can skip out on hard work or the effort needed to achieve something. The post isn’t actually that old, but I moved it over from my Tumblr, thus losing the comments it had. And if they are trying to imitate someone else, aren’t they imitating because they WANT to be someone else? Conversely, virtually every kind of personal problem from academic failure to alcoholism resulted from a lack of self-esteem.
Rather, it mandated that the individual feel good about himself as he is, regardless of his performance, i.e. I convey whatever attitudes I want and choose whatever behaviors I prefer and feel good about myself regardless of what these might be. In addition, parents felt their obligation to accept their children unconditionally to enable them to develop self-esteem.


It seemed that a major concern of almost every American was the development of his or her self-esteem, specifically the acceptance of self unconditionally, realizing that they could prize themselves apart from performance.
There was a belief among parents that self-esteem was an extrinsic quality and needed to be fostered by parents themselves. Confusing the two creates children—and then adults—who are underachievers and yet “over-expecters”. Because it you didn’t and you wrote all of this, then you and I really do think alike on this subject. This perspective eliminates guilt, assuring me that that I am okay regardless of my performance.
Likewise, the development of self-esteem became a major objective of our educational systems. They have accomplished little, yet expect to receive the same kind of reward and recognition as those who have done much.
I will say to my daughter for instance, “Did you know it pleases God when you are kind to your brother? Whereas self-worth is finding worth in yourself from a greater source and in my case it’s the Lord. It was only as the individual developed this unconditional, non-performance based self-esteem that he would experience the promised benefits. Others should also be okay with me regardless of my performance, and if they are not, they are the ones with a problem.
In an attempt to make the losing children feel better about the fact that they lost, they have created “a non-competitive environment.” Swell, sounds like fun. Well, no, some of us are actually jerks by nature, so some of us shouldn’t be ourselves. In addition, the self-esteem movement assures me that this prizing myself regardless of my performance assures a healthy personality and success.



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