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The first thing that may come to mind when you first learn of your partner’s condition is to opt out. There will be days when your partner seems like a completely different person than he or she was on the first day that you met.
Dealing with a mental illness or disorder can be one of the most debilitating and discouraging experiences someone can endure. It is not uncommon to know multiple people who are dealing with or who have dealt with conditions that are similar to what your partner is going through.
It’s easy for all the focus to turn to what is “wrong” or “lacking” in your partner, but always remember that the relationship is two ways, and if there’s trouble in paradise, it might be something you’re doing wrong and could have little to nothing to do with your partner’s condition.
As much as we try sometimes a relationship is just too much and time spent apart would do everyone some good. There’s still much to be said about dating someone with a mental condition, and I know I only covered the bare bones. By clicking on the button above, I confirm that I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy.
Very rarely can a breakup lead to a solid friendship, and until you’re okay with the idea of your ex dating someone new — and vice versa — you’re not ready to be pals. The best part is: You’re more likely to know when you’ve found the right person for a second date .
YBF: You've worked with some of the most beautiful women in Hollywood (Meagan Good, Regina Hall, Gabrielle Union, Taraji P.
This is exactly why black men have problems with black women-always complaining and dissing everyone rather than uplifting our black men that are trying to do better for themselves. You spend the earlier parts of your relationship trying to “read” the other person; trying to make sure you’re both on the same page. You will see your partner at his or her highest highs and lowest lows, maybe irrational, lethargic, erratic, manic, aloof or incoherent. Maybe that person ended up in a pretty stable place mentally, or maybe, things did not end up so well for that person.
Your partner needs to feel like you trust him or her, just as you would want to feel trusted by your partner.
Be willing to take or at least share the blame, be willing to take criticism from your partner (even though you are trying very hard because, yes, it is difficult to date someone with a mental illness) and be willing to change and to compromise. Some mental illnesses and disorders are just too complex and debilitating for one person to handle alone.
The important thing to remember is that every mental illness—just like a physical one—requires patience, understanding, resilience and flexibility. She was raised for most of her life in NC but also spent a few years in Nigeria with extended family as a young child.
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If your ex is pushing for friendship, stand your ground if you’re uncomfortable with the idea. Deep down, you know that you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone you had to beg to be with you.
No woman on her deathbed says, “I really wish I slept with my ex-husband one last time.” Let the break be clean. Give yourself two rules: Don’t post anything about the breakup drama online, no matter how vague, and resist the urge to stalk your ex.
This is the person who begins the evening by noticing (out loud) you are wearing the same perfume he gave his ex-girlfriend on their first anniversary.
This date is like being back in junior high with a kid who is dying to try out all the new words he’s learned in the locker room.
Getting to know this ray of sunshine reminds you of watching a disaster documentary on PBS. You’ve learned (the hard way) the kind of person you don’t want to spend an evening with, which better equips you to identify the kind of person you DO want to date.


I'm proud of Terrence for moving pass all the negativity out there and leaving people in the dust. The brother is smooth & last but definitely not least is making a name for himself in Hollywood. That’s a pretty hefty chunk of the dating pool, not to mention the unreported cases and the probable addition of cases since that report was published. These are only a handful of the mixture of emotions and dispositions that may be found in just one condition, not to speak of an array. Don’t make your partner feel like they need to be on a leash or like you are his or her patient. You are both giving a lot to make the relationship work, more than  a lot of other couples relatively speaking, so make sure to put everything into perspective. It is not uncommon for relationships to end—temporarily or permanently—so that one partner can seek the services he or she needs. She is a recent graduate of Wake Forest University and is a pre-med biology major with a strong interest in mental health, health communication, and mass communication. It can be a tricky situation when someone we love isn’t able or willing to help themselves.
Considering the fact that the person who is worried about dating someone with a mental illness probably has an undiagnosed illness, I’d love to see you do a follow-up on that. When mourning the end of a relationship, be sure to avoid the following “don’ts” of breakup etiquette.
Right now, you’re not looking for a friend who looks exactly like the person who broke your heart. Recruit a support system of friends and family to help you fill the time normally spent with a significant other.
Besides, if your ex rejects you a second time, it won’t just hurt; the rejection will sting with extra humiliation and regret.
As always, you have high hopes—or at least an open mind—that this one will be different from recent experiences.
You’ll learn all about the impending ravages of global warming, overpopulation, economic collapse, and killer solar storms—and all the reasons why he hates his job, his apartment, his roommate, and pretty much everything else. Well-dressed and well-mannered, he seems a refreshing departure from past experience—until you attempt actual conversation. Her body language and your intuition combine to warn you that she has already moved past “dating” for its own sake and is ready to pick out “his and hers” bath towels with the first remotely suitable partner. He was a BET for what seems like forever, and out of the blue the guy is getting roles and interviews like he is Will Smith.
You know you’re superficially compatible, but what about the important things—values, life goals, political beliefs? Mental health conditions come in far too many forms—depression, suicidal tendencies, anxiety, bipolar disorder, OCD, substance abuse, addiction, eating disorders, schizophrenia, personality disorders, autism and Asperger’s, those that don’t immediately come to mind and so many layers within each of those conditions—to try to come up with a one-size fits all approach for how to deal with dating someone who is mentally ill. The answer is, you’ve gotten yourself into a relationship that you now realize may have a few additional obstacles, but what relationship doesn’t experience its hurdles anyway?
On the flip side, if you know someone who seems to be on a downhill spiral with their condition, don’t scare your partner by saying, “look, I just don’t want you to turn out like Tom, Dick and Harry.” Again, that puts a lot of pressure on your partner, and pressure is the last thing that’s going to make him or her feel comfortable in his or her own skin and capable of dealing with his or her condition.
Of course, you will always be looking out for your partner, and it’s important that he or she knows that, but in order for your partner to be confident that he or she can live with the condition on his or her own, your partner needs to know that he or she doesn’t need to rely on you for every little thing. She enjoys writing and blogging and eating snacks off of her chest while she watches her favorite shows on her laptop. As a person afflicted by illness, it is difficult sometimes to articulate your feelings in a way someone else can understand.
Don’t forget to take care of your own behavioral health as you move forward, one way or another. Resist the urge, however, to call or text whenever you would have when you were still dating. Many people feel lost after a breakup; not because they miss their ex, but because so many of their daily habits once revolved around someone else.


If you have a tattoo-design epiphany in the days following heartache, wait a few months before acting on it. You mentally check off the ones you promptly inducted into your private First Date Hall of Fame (or is it Hall of Shame?). How is that spelled?” The person across from you is so busy pressing buttons that you feel superfluous to the process. Yes, the world is full of problems and perils, but is it necessary to dwell on them during a first date?
Then it becomes apparent that you have almost nothing in common, in spite of his attractive appearance. Plus you know he's gonna be politically correct: his career is just starting and he's not going to say anything that could be offensive. Let’s say you care about this person enough to consider spending the rest of your life with them.
Still, here are a few suggestions for how to try to make it work with a significant other who is struggling, or how to let them go. The main thing to remember is that, in most cases, your partner’s illness does not define him or her.
I can guarantee to you that your partner wishes things were different, that you didn’t have to see him or her like this. Then, there are the practical questions to consider, like are you willing to move for said person, or what is said person’s health history?
The best way to know how best to deal with the harder days is to learn as much as you can about your partner’s condition.
You need to assure your partner that “normal” isn’t what you want, that you want him or her to be happy and healthy.
The temptation may be to pretend you’re unaffected by the breakup; don’t let pride get in the way of being real.
Instead of clinging to lost hope, find a wise friend who can help you walk through the reasons why you’re having a hard time letting go. It is another layer that you must now decide whether or not you can not only tolerate, but accept and live with.
Although it is difficult to admit, there will be times when you question whether or not it is worth it, and it never hurts to have reminders of why you are willing to stick around.
Sometimes our dating choices are in the process of becoming mentally ill, as in schizophrenia, or Asperger’s.
You don’t have to sob at the office, but take some quiet moments to reflect and be honest with yourself. What do you do when the person you’re falling for is struggling with a condition that’s too complex for even your partner to understand?
I mean you need to understand how your partner has learned to deal with his or her condition as an individual.
Not all our dates feel comfortable disclosing their status until they feel the relationship has promise—making it doubly difficult. The way in which two individuals can deal with identical conditions can be anything but identical. Knowing what works for your partner and not just what you think will work best for them will make the ride a little less bumpy.
And, if your partner is just learning about the condition for the first time, too, make sure your partner knows you are with him or her for every step along the way.
Holding your partner’s hand through his or her educational experience might aid in the acceptance process.



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