You see, I LOVE more than anything teaching people to empower themselves and to live the life they have dreamed of but felt like they may not quite achieve. When I moved from Johannesburg to Australia a few year’s ago, I created the perfect storm for myself with the best of intentions but the unintentional consequences of not fully understanding what I was getting myself into. You see, I had been surrounded by friends, loved ones; established professionally in a leadership, learning and development community where I was recognised, sought out and handsomely rewarded.
Then I met and fell in love with a wonderful man who happened to live on the other side of the world!
Idealistically speaking, I honestly thought that due to my experience in working and training people in remote African countries that most people have never had the opportunity of visiting and having succeeded in making a difference in their lives through training and development, I could fit into a culture that at least had a lot more similarities than the communities I had worked in.
Very soon, I found myself on the end of misunderstandings which deteriorated into mistrust and suspicion and ultimately led to me being offered the door. It was a devastating event in my life  and one that left me with little self-esteem, unsure of who I was, broken and angry at this new land in which I lived. I have learnt that even though I may not like difficult conversations, they are the conversations that deepen relationships when done with positive intentions and self-control. I have learnt that I cannot take for granted that people know and like me straight-up and that I have to set solid boundaries and guidelines upfront to ensure positive relationships can occur. I have learnt that I am responsible for no one other than my thoughts, feelings, words and actions.
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At Skill Junction we are passionate about providing real value and practical solutions to help you grow in your career. Before going through this activity, you should have talked about assertiveness in detail along with giving examples so that delegates know what is expected of them here. Being able to have an opinion about important subjects and defend that position is an incredibly important skill in life. Many countries around the world regularly broadcast soap operas on TV; social programs which usually contain a lot of angry and emotional discussions between various extreme characters. This exercise helps delegates to use the scenarios on such programs and turn them around with assertive communication. Being assertive is not just about expressing your rights; it is also about increasing the efficiency of your communication with others.


This fun exercise shows the effect of assertiveness in achieving goals by presenting a combination of passive, aggressive and assertive behaviours in the task. Download a free comprehensive training package including training guidelines, soft skills training activities, assessment forms and useful training resources that you can use to enhance your courses.
Here is the experience of becoming pro-active in response to bullying as seen on the enneagram or the NTS.
Assertiveness training is necessary in order to train the Attention to act according to Human Rights Values (point-four) and the Golden Rule (point-eight).
The important factor at point-six is Will Power, but it may be in the form of Help or Assistance from Bystanders.
Now, if through role playing and attention building exercises, we teach, instruct, impart and transfer the knowledge and understanding from the enneagram above to our selves and our students, we can expect to reverse the bullying cycle.
Using the NTS (Nine Term Symbol or Enneagram) it is possible to see exactly which part of the process are lacking and need training for any given student or situation. Point-three, which is The Self, has to do with the real human being and not their acquired personality.
What ever level of understanding of the Golden Rule or level of Self Confidence or degree of Help (and so on for every point around the NTS) will determine the outcome of the situation and how intentionally a person can act given the forces from the bully. Slideshare uses cookies to improve functionality and performance, and to provide you with relevant advertising. Because a lot of the time our feelings and thinking gets in the way – you see, we have self-perpetuating habits and patterns that hold us back. A great way to learn how to be assertive is to know how it contrasts with being aggressive or submissive. Often, we come across such potentially heated debates during the course of a day, but the subjects are mainly to do with practical daily tasks rather than deeper philosophical issues.
The negative emotions and feelings generated by these experiences can stay with us for a long time afterwards and make us feel overtly emotional, weak, stupid or even unworthy.
Assertive communication as opposed to passive or aggressive communication is usually the best way to handle aggressive communication. It can accurately spot activities in the collection which are similar to the one you are currently viewing. Download our training resources and extend your portfolio to meet market demand and deliver state-of-the-art interactive training courses.


Without training, we assume people can simply do what they are shown through words (basically what they are told) and what they are shown through other media. Will Power, Conscience and Help can all be understood as aspects of what enters the process at point-six. Self Confidence is a buzz word, and the closer a person comes to essence, the more true self confidence they attain naturally. Ok, who am I kidding, of course I go from my gut and tell it like it is from my point of view – and its not very nice for the other person to hear! This activity helps delegates to analyse a given situation and analyse various responses delivered and see how their feelings are affected as a result of each response.
Through these discussions delegates can see if their views are markedly different from those of others and if so what it may suggest when they interact with others. The solutions to such issues are usually non-obvious where many thinkers have been putting efforts in exploring them and providing insights. One way to deal with this emotional baggage is to acknowledge it and take responsibility for it. The focus of this exercise is on learning how to constantly use assertive communication and not necessarily only at the beginning of a conversation. This article suggests a few useful sentence formulations to help you express yourself assertively and increase your confidence in dealing with potentially aggressive people.
But, people can not act until all of these points and inner lines of the Compass (the six labeled lines inside the circle) are working together. What comes in at point-six and how we define it depends on the situation and on the people involved. The idea here is that sharing difficult experiences and the feelings generated by them will allow delegates to acknowledge them to another person and therefore more easily come into terms with them.
Well, people can try, we can pretend, we can do something, but our actions will not be effective until all of these parts come together into one whole system.
Again, role playing as a means of assertivness training can help the student and the adults with this action of aiding the development of self confidence.



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