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While Illumination Entertainment is best known for its Despicable Me films and, more specifically, those adorable minions, the studio has other projects in the pipeline as well. Steve is currently at the Licensing Expo in Las Vegas, and while on the floor he snapped some photos of a collection of posters for The Secret Life of Pets. Delivery times may vary, especially during peak periods and will depend on when your payment clears - opens in a new window or tab. Find out more about your rights as a buyer - opens in a new window or tab and exceptions - opens in a new window or tab. By clicking Confirm bid you commit to buy this item from the seller if you are the winning bidder. Import charges previously quoted are subject to change if you increase you maximum bid amount. If you reside in an EU member state besides UK, import VAT on this purchase is not recoverable. The various breeds have different facial structures, offering a bit of diversity to the visual palette. Directed by Despicable Me helmer Chris Renaud and co-director Yarrow Cheney, the film takes place in a Manhattan apartment building and revolves around its animal inhabitants.
Though obviously it’s tough to accurately gauge the pic without seeing the animation in motion.
I've had to ask myself -- is it worth it?I've started a new diet -- for the fifth time this year.
I read all the new information, I set goals, I get myself all psyched up with a positive mental attitude and tell myself I can do it.
I just can't seem to keep a promise I make to myself.I've taken course after course on effective management training. I expect a lot out of my employees and I work hard to be friendly toward them and to treat them right. I think if I were home sick for a day, they'd spend most of their time gabbing at the water fountain. Why can't I train them to be independent and responsible -- or find employees who can be?My teenage son is rebellious and on drugs. I've attended time management seminars and I've tried half a dozen different planning systems.
They've helped some, but I still don't feel I'm living the happy, productive, peaceful life I want to live.I want to teach my children the value of work. Why can't children do their work cheerfully and without being reminded?I'm busy -- really busy.
I'd really like to think there was meaning in my life, that somehow things were different because I was here.I see my friends or relatives achieve some degree of success or receive some recognition, and I smile and congratulate them enthusiastically.
Most of the time, I can even do it by influencing others to come up with the solution I want.
I think through each situation and I really feel the ideas I come up with are usually the best for everyone. I always wonder what other people really think of me and my ideas.My marriage has gone fiat. He was doing poorly academically; he didn't even know how to follow the instructions on the tests, let alone do well on them. Athletically, he was small, skinny, and uncoordinated -- swinging his baseball bat, for example, almost before the ball was even pitched. We felt that if "success" were important in any area of life, it was supremely important in our role as parents. Don't swing till it gets close to you." And if he did a little better, we would go to great lengths to reinforce him. We tried to be encouraging and helpful and positive, but after repeated failure, we finally drew back and tried to look at the situation on a different level.At this time in my professional role I was involved in leadership development work with various clients throughout the country. In that capacity I was preparing bimonthly programs on the subject of communication and perception for IBM's Executive Development Program participants.As I researched and prepared these presentations, I became particularly interested in how perceptions are formed, how they govern the way we see, and how the way we see governs how we behave. This led me to a study of expectancy theory and self-fulfilling prophecies or the "Pygmalion effect," and to a realization of how deeply imbedded our perceptions are. It taught me that we must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as at the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.As Sandra and I talked about the concepts I was teaching at IBM and about our own situation, we began to realize that what we were doing to help our son was not in harmony with the way we really saw him. When we honestly examined our deepest feelings, we realized that our perception was that he was basically inadequate, somehow "behind." No matter how much we worked on our attitude and behavior, our efforts were ineffective because, despite our actions and our words, what we really communicated to him was, "You aren't capable.
You have to be protected."We began to realize that if we wanted to change the situation, we first had to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.The Personality and Character EthicsAt the same time, in addition to my research on perception, I was also deeply immersed in an in-depth study of the success literature published in the United States since 1776. I was reading or scanning literally hundreds of books, articles, and essays in fields such as self-improvement, popular psychology, and self-help. At my fingertips was the sum and substance of what a free and democratic people considered to be the keys to successful living.As my study took me back through 200 years of writing about success, I noticed a startling pattern emerging in the content of the literature. Because of our own pain, and because of similar pain I had seen in the lives and relationships of many people I had worked with through the years, I began to feel more and more that much of the success literature of the past 50 years was superficial. It was filled with social image consciousness, techniques and quick fixes -- with social band-aids and aspirin that addressed acute problems and sometimes even appeared to solve them temporarily, but left the underlying chronic problems untouched to fester and resurface time and again.In stark contrast, almost all the literature in the first 150 years or so focused on what could be called the Character Ethic as the foundation of success -- things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule. Success became more a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques, that lubricate the processes of human interaction.
This Personality Ethic essentially took two paths: one was human and public relations techniques, and the other was positive mental attitude (PMA). As I thought more deeply about the difference between the Personality and Character Ethics, I realized that Sandra and I had been getting social mileage out of our children's good behavior, and, in our eyes, this son simply didn't measure up.
Our image of ourselves, and our role as good, caring parents was even deeper than our image of our son and perhaps influenced it. There was a lot more wrapped up in the way we were seeing and handling the problem than our concern for our son's welfare.As Sandra and I talked, we became painfully aware of the powerful influence of our own character and motives and of our perception of him. We knew that social comparison motives were out of harmony with our deeper values and could lead to conditional love and eventually to our son's lessened sense of self-worth. So we determined to focus our efforts on us -- not on our techniques, but on our deepest motives and our perception of him.
Instead of trying to change him, we tried to stand apart -- to separate us from him -- and to sense his identity, individuality, separateness, and worth.Through deep thought and the exercise of faith and prayer, we began to see our son in terms of his own uniqueness. We saw within him layers and layers of potential that would be realized at his own pace and speed. We also conscientiously worked on our motives and cultivated internal sources of security so that our own feelings of worth were not dependent on our children's "acceptable" behavior.As we loosened up our old perception of our son and developed value-based motives, new feelings began to emerge.
We stopped trying to clone him in our own image or measure him against social expectations. Because we saw him as fundamentally adequate and able to cope with life, we stopped protecting him against the ridicule of others.He had been nurtured on this protection, so he went through some withdrawal pains, which he expressed and which we accepted, but did not necessarily respond to. He became outstanding as measured by standard social criteria -- academically, socially and athletically -- at a rapid clip, far beyond the so-called natural developmental process. As the years passed, he was elected to several student body leadership positions, developed into an all-state athlete and started bringing home straight A report cards.
He developed an engaging and guileless personality that has enabled him to relate in nonthreatening ways to all kinds of people.Sandra and I believe that our son's "socially impressive" accomplishments were more a serendipitous expression of the feelings he had about himself than merely a response to social reward. This was an amazing experience for Sandra and me, and a very instructional one in dealing with our other children and in other roles as well.
It brought to our awareness on a very personal level the vital difference between the Personality Ethic and the Character Ethic of success.
I was suddenly able to see the powerful impact of the Personality Ethic and to clearly understand those subtle, often consciously unidentified discrepancies between what I knew to be true -- some things I had been taught many years ago as a child and things that were deep in my own inner sense of value -- and the quick fix philosophies that surrounded me every day.
I understood at a deeper level why, as I had worked through the years with people from all walks of life, I had found that the things I was teaching and knew to be effective were often at variance with these popular voices.I am not suggesting that elements of the Personality Ethic -- personality growth, communication skill training, and education in the field of influence strategies and positive thinking -- are not beneficial, in fact sometimes essential for success. My duplicity will breed distrust, and everything I do -- even using so-called good human relations techniques -- will be perceived as manipulative. It simply makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success. Only basic goodness gives life to technique.To focus on technique is like cramming your way through school. You sometimes get by, perhaps even get good grades, but if you don't pay the price day in and day out, you never achieve true mastery of the subjects you study or develop an educated mind.Did you ever consider how ridiculous it would be to try to cram on a farm -- to forget to plant in the spring, play all summer and then cram in the fall to bring in the harvest? In the short run, in an artificial social system such as school, you may be able to get by if you learn how to manipulate the man-made rules, to "play the game." In most one-shot or short-lived human interactions, you can use the Personality Ethic to get by and to make favorable impressions through charm and skill and pretending to be interested in other people's hobbies. Eventually, if there isn't deep integrity and fundamental character strength, the challenges of life will cause true motives to surface and human relationship failure will replace short-term success.Many people with secondary greatness -- that is, social recognition for their talents -- lack primary greatness or goodness in their character. Sooner or later, you'll see this in every long-term relationship they have, whether it is with a business associate, a spouse, a friend, or a teenage child going through an identity crisis. As Emerson once put it, "What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say."There are, of course, situations where people have character strength but they lack communication skills, and that undoubtedly affects the quality of relationships as well.
But the effects are still secondary.In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do.
Whether they're eloquent or not, whether they have the human relations techniques or not, we trust them, and we work successfully with them.In the words of William George Jordan, "Into the hands of every individual is given a marvelous power for good or evil -- the silent, unconscious, unseen influence of his life. This is simply the constant radiation of what man really is, not what he pretends to be."The Power of a ParadigmThe Seven Habits of Highly Effective People embody many of the fundamental principles of human effectiveness. It was originally a scientific term, and is more commonly used today to mean a model, theory, perception, assumption, or flame of reference.


In the more general sense, it's the way we "see" the world -- not in terms of our visual sense of sight, but in terms of perceiving, understanding, interpreting.For our purposes, a simple way to understand paradigms is to see them as maps.
We all know that "the map is not the territory." A map is simply an explanation of certain aspects of the territory.
It is a theory, an explanation, or model of something else.Suppose you wanted to arrive at a specific location in central Chicago. Can you imagine the frustration, the ineffectiveness of trying to reach your destination?You might work on your behavior -- you could try harder, be more diligent, double your speed. But your efforts would only succeed in getting you to the wrong place faster.You might work on your attitude -- you could think more positively. Your attitude would be so positive, you'd be happy wherever you were.The point is, you'd still be lost. It has everything to do with having a wrong map.If you have the right map of Chicago, then diligence becomes important, and when you encounter frustrating obstacles along the way, then attitude can make a real difference. We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be.And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of those assumptions. The way we see things is the source of the way we think and the way we act.Before going any further, I invite you to have an intellectual and emotional experience. Take a few seconds and just look at the picture on the following page.Now look at the picture on page 26 and carefully describe what you see.Do you see a woman?
In what kind of roles do you see her?You probably would describe the woman in the second picture to be about 25 years old -- very lovely, rather fashionable with a petite nose and a demure presence. If you were in retailing, you might hire her as a fashion model.But what if I were to tell you that you're wrong? What if I said this picture is of a woman in her 60's or 70's who looks sad, has a huge nose, and is certainly no model. We could continue to communicate until you clearly showed me what you see in the picture and I clearly showed you what I see.Because we can't do that, turn to page 45 and study the picture there and then look at this picture again. It's important that you see her before you continue reading.I first encountered this exercise many years ago at the Harvard Business School. The instructor was using it to demonstrate clearly and eloquently that two people can see the same thing, disagree, and yet both be right. He asked us to look at the cards, concentrate on them for about ten seconds and then pass them back in.
He then projected upon the screen the picture you saw on page 26 combining both images and asked the class to describe what they saw. Almost every person in that class who had first seen the young woman's image on a card saw the young woman in the picture. And almost every person who had first seen the old woman's image on a card saw an old woman in the picture.The professor then asked one student to explain what he saw to a student on the opposite side of the room. As they talked back and forth, communication problems flared up."What do you mean, 'old lady'?
She's an old hag."The arguments went back and forth, each person sure of, and adamant in, his or her position. All of this occurred in spite of one exceedingly important advantage the students had -- most of them knew early in the demonstration that another point of view did, in fact, exist -- something many of us would never admit. Nevertheless, at first, only a few students really tried to see this picture from another frame of reference.After a period of futile communication, one student went up to the screen and pointed to a line on the drawing. Through continued calm, respectful, and specific communication, each of us in the room was finally able to see the other point of view.
But when we looked away and then back, most of us would immediately see the image we had been conditioned to see in the ten-second period of time.I frequently use this perception demonstration in working with people and organizations because it yields so many deep insights into both personal and interpersonal effectiveness.
It shows, first of all, how powerfully conditioning affects our perceptions, our paradigms. If ten seconds can have that kind of impact on the way we see things, what about the conditioning of a lifetime?
The influences in our lives -- family, school, church, work environment, friends, associates, and current social paradigms such as the Personality Ethic -- all have made their silent unconscious impact on us and help shape our frame of reference, our paradigms, our maps.It also shows that these paradigms are the source of our attitudes and behaviors. If you were among the 90 percent who typically see the young woman in the composite picture when conditioned to do so, you undoubtedly found it difficult to think in terms of having to help her cross the street. Both your attitude about her and your behavior toward her had to be congruent with the way you saw her.This brings into focus one of the basic flaws of the Personality Ethic.
To try to change outward attitudes and behaviors does very little good in the long run if we fail to examine the basic paradigms from which those attitudes and behaviors flow.This perception demonstration also shows how powerfully our paradigms affect the way we interact with other people.
As clearly and objectively as we think we see things, we begin to realize that others see them differently from their own apparently equally clear and objective point of view. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms.
But, as the demonstration shows, sincere, clearheaded people see things differently, each looking through the unique lens of experience.This does not mean that there are no facts. In the demonstration, two individuals who initially have been influenced by different conditioning pictures look at the third picture together. They are now both looking at the same identical facts -- black lines and white spaces -- and they would both acknowledge these as facts. The more bound a person is by the initial perception, the more powerful the "Aha!" experience is. It's as though a light were suddenly turned on inside.The term paradigm shift was introduced by Thomas Kuhn in his highly influential landmark book, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. Kuhn shows how almost every significant breakthrough in the field of scientific endeavor is first a break with tradition, with old ways of thinking, with old paradigms.For Ptolemy, the great Egyptian astronomer, the earth was the center of the universe.
But Copernicus created a paradigm shift, and a great deal of resistance and persecution as well, by placing the sun at the center. Suddenly, everything took on a different interpretation.The Newtonian model of physics was a clockwork paradigm and is still the basis of modern engineering. The scientific world was revolutionized by the Einsteinian paradigm, the relativity paradigm, which had much higher predictive and explanatory value.Until the germ theory was developed, a high percentage of women and children died during childbirth, and no one could understand why. In military skirmishes, more men were dying from small wounds and diseases than from the major traumas on the front lines.
But as soon as the germ theory was developed, a whole new paradigm, a better, improved way of understanding what was happening made dramatic, significant medical improvement possible.The United States today is the fruit of a paradigm shift. The traditional concept of government for centuries had been a monarchy, the divine right of kings. Then a different paradigm was developed -- government of the people, by the people, and for the people. And a constitutional democracy was born, unleashing tremendous human energy and ingenuity, and creating a standard of living, of freedom and liberty, of influence and hope unequaled in the history of the world.Not all paradigm shifts are in positive directions. As we have observed, the shift from the Character Ethic to the Personality Ethic has drawn us away from the very roots that nourish true success and happiness.But whether they shift us in positive or negative directions, whether they are instantaneous or developmental, paradigm shifts move us from one way of seeing the world to another. Our paradigms, correct or incorrect, are the sources of our attitudes and behaviors, and ultimately our relationships with others.I remember a mini-paradigm shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly -- some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene.Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all.
So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, "Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn't control them a little more?"The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, "Oh, you're right. I don't know what to think, and I guess they don't know how to handle it either."Can you imagine what I felt at that moment?
Suddenly I saw things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. I didn't have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man's pain.
Unlike my instant insight on the subway, the paradigm-shifting experience Sandra and I had with our son was a slow, difficult, and deliberate process.
The approach we had first taken with him was the outgrowth of years of conditioning and experience in the Personality Ethic. It was the result of deeper paradigms we held about our own success as parents as well as the measure of success of our children. And it was not until we changed those basic paradigms, until we saw things differently, that we were able to create quantum change in ourselves and in the situation.In order to see our son differently, Sandra and I had to be differently. Our new paradigm was created as we invested in the growth and development of our own character.Paradigms are inseparable from character. On the other hand, I am equally certain there are people who would have been far more sensitive in the first place, who may have recognized that a deeper problem existed and reached out to understand and help before I did.Paradigms are powerful because they create the lens through which we see the world.
We can see a reality that is superceded by his limited perception -- a reality that is as critical for us to understand in our daily lives as it was for the captain in the fog.Principles are like lighthouses. We can only break ourselves against the law."While individuals may look at their own lives and interactions in terms of paradigms or maps emerging out of their experience and conditioning, these maps are not the territory. They are a "subjective reality," only an attempt to describe the territory.The "objective reality," or the territory itself, is composed of "lighthouse" principles that govern human growth and happiness -- natural laws that are woven into the fabric of every civilized society throughout history and comprise the roots of every family and institution that has endured and prospered. The degree to which our mental maps accurately describe the territory does not alter its existence.The reality of such principles or natural laws becomes obvious to anyone who thinks deeply and examines the cycles of social history. These principles surface time and time again, and the degree to which people in a society recognize and live in harmony with them moves them toward either survival and stability or disintegration and destruction.The principles I am referring to are not esoteric, mysterious, or "religious" ideas.
There is not one principle taught in this book that is unique to any specific faith or religion, including my own. These principles are a part of most every major enduring religion, as well as enduring social philosophies and ethical systems. It's almost as if these principles or natural laws are part of the human condition, part of the human consciousness, part of the human conscience.
They seem to exist in all human beings, regardless of social conditioning and loyalty to them, even though they might be submerged or numbed by such conditions or disloyalty.I am referring, for example, to the principle of fairness, out of which our whole concept of equity and justice is developed.
Little children seem to have an innate sense of the idea of fairness even apart from opposite conditioning experiences.


There are vast differences in how fairness is defined and achieved, but there is almost universal awareness of the idea.Other examples would include integrity and honesty. They create the foundation of trust which is essential to cooperation and long-term personal and interpersonal growth.Another principle is human dignity.
The basic concept in the United States Declaration of Independence bespeaks this value or principle. Another is quality or excellence.There is the principle of potential, the idea that we are embryonic and can grow and develop and release more and more potential, develop more and more talents.
Highly related to potential is the principle of growth -- the process of releasing potential and developing talents, with the accompanying need for principles such as patience, nurturance, and encouragement.Principles are not practices.
A practice that works in one circumstance will not necessarily work in another, as parents who have tried to raise a second child exactly like they did the first can readily attest.While practices are situationally specific, principles are deep, fundamental truths that have universal application. They apply to individuals, to marriages, to families, to private and public organizations of every kind. When these truths are internalized into habits, they empower people to create a wide variety of practices to deal with different situations.Principles are not values.
A gang of thieves can share values, but they are in violation of the fundamental principles we're talking about. When we value correct principles, we have truth -- a knowledge of things as they are.Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value. One way to quickly grasp the self-evident nature of principles is to simply consider the absurdity of attempting to live an effective life based on their opposites. I doubt that anyone would seriously consider unfairness, deceit, baseness, uselessness, mediocrity, or degeneration to be a solid foundation for lasting happiness and success. Although people may argue about how these principles are defined or manifested or achieved, there seems to be an innate consciousness and awareness that they exist.The more closely our maps or paradigms are aligned with these principles or natural laws, the more accurate and functional they will be.
One is that he suffers from defects of spontaneity and individuality which may seem to be incurable. At the same time it may be said of him he does not differ essentially from the millions of the rest of us who walk upon this earth.In all of life, there are sequential stages of growth and development. No step can be skipped.This is true in all phases of life, in all areas of development, whether it be learning to play the piano or communicate effectively with a working associate. It is true with individuals, with marriages, with families, and with organizations.We know and accept this fact or principle of process in the area of physical things, but to understand it in emotional areas, in human relations, and even in the area of personal character is less common and more difficult. And even if we understand it, to accept it and to live in harmony with it are even less common and more difficult. Consequently, we sometimes look for a shortcut, expecting to be able to skip some of these vital steps in order to save time and effort and still reap the desired result.But what happens when we attempt to shortcut a natural process in our growth and development? If you are only an average tennis player but decide to play at a higher level in order to make a better impression, what will result? Would positive thinking alone enable you to compete effectively against a professional?What if you were to lead your friends to believe you could play the piano at concert hall level while your actual present skill was that of a beginner?The answers are obvious. It is contrary to nature, and attempting to seek such a shortcut only results in disappointment and frustration.On a ten-point scale, if I am at level two in any field, and desire to move to level five, I must first take the step toward level three. Thoreau taught, "How can we remember our ignorance, which our growth requires, when we are using our knowledge all the time?"I recall one occasion when two young women, daughters of a friend of mine, came to me tearfully, complaining about their father's harshness and lack of understanding. And yet they desperately needed their parents' love, understanding, and guidance.I talked with the father and found that he was intellectually aware of what was happening.
But while he admitted he had a temper problem, he refused to take responsibility for it and to honestly accept the fact that his emotional development level was low.
It was more than his pride could swallow to take the first step toward change.To relate effectively with a wife, a husband, children, friends, or working associates, we must learn to listen. Listening involves patience, openness, and the desire to understand -- highly developed qualities of character. It's so much easier to operate from a low emotional level and to give high-level advice.Our level of development is fairly obvious with tennis or piano playing, where it is impossible to pretend.
When these methods don't work, they look for other Personality Ethic techniques that will -- all the time ignoring and violating the natural principles and processes on which a high-trust culture is based.I remember violating this principle myself as a father many years ago.
One day I returned home to my little girl's third-year birthday party to find her in the corner of the front room, defiantly clutching all of her presents, unwilling to let the other children play with them. I was embarrassed, and doubly so because at the time I was teaching university classes in human relations.
And I knew, or at least felt, the expectation of these parents.The atmosphere in the room was really charged -- the children were crowding around my little daughter with their hands out, asking to play with the presents they had just given, and my daughter was adamantly refusing.
The value of sharing is one of the most basic things we believe in."So I first tried a simple request.
I was unable or unwilling to give patience or understanding, so I expected her to give things.
In an attempt to compensate for my deficiency, I borrowed strength from my position and authority and forced her to do what I wanted her to do.But borrowing strength builds weakness. It builds weakness in the borrower because it reinforces dependence on external factors to get things done. It builds weakness in the person forced to acquiesce, stunting the development of independent reasoning, growth, and internal discipline. Fear replaces cooperation, and both people involved become more arbitrary and defensive.And what happens when the source of borrowed strength -- be it superior size or physical strength, position, authority, credentials, status symbols, appearance, or past achievements -- changes or is no longer there?Had I been more mature, I could have relied on my own intrinsic strength -- my understanding of sharing and of growth and my capacity to love and nurture -- and allowed my daughter to make a free choice as to whether she wanted to share or not to share. Perhaps after attempting to reason with her, I could have turned the attention of the children to an interesting game, taking all that emotional pressure off my child.
I've learned that once children gain a sense of real possession, they share very naturally, freely, and spontaneously.My experience has been that there are times to teach and times not to teach. When relationships are strained and the air charged with emotion, an attempt to teach is often perceived as a form of judgment and rejection. But to take the child alone, quietly, when the relationship is good and to discuss the teaching or the value seems to have much greater impact. It may have been that the emotional maturity to do that was beyond my level of patience and internal control at the time.Perhaps a sense of possessing needs to come before a sense of genuine sharing. Many people who give mechanically or refuse to give and share in their marriages and families may never have experienced what it means to possess themselves, their own sense of identity and self-worth. Really helping our children grow may involve being patient enough to allow them the sense of possession as well as being wise enough to teach them the value of giving and providing the example ourselves.The Way We See the Problem Is the ProblemPeople are intrigued when they see good things happening in the lives of individuals, families, and organizations that are based on solid principles.
They admire such personal strength and maturity, such family unity and teamwork, such adaptive synergistic organizational culture.And their immediate request is very revealing of their basic paradigm. They may eliminate some of the cosmetic or acute problems through social aspirin and band-aids.But the underlying chronic condition remains, and eventually new acute symptoms will appear. Why can't I train them to be independent and responsible -- or find employees who can be?The Personality Ethic tells me I could take some kind of dramatic action -- shake things up, make heads roll -- that would make my employees shape up and appreciate what they have. Or even that I could hire new people that would do a better job.But is it possible that under that apparently disloyal behavior, these employees question whether I really act in their best interest? Is there a chance the way I look at the people who work for me is part of the problem?There's so much to do.
They've helped some, but I still don't feel I'm living the happy, productive, peaceful life I want to live.The Personality Ethic tells me there must be something out there -- some new planner or seminar that will help me handle all these pressures in a more efficient way.But is there a chance that efficiency is not the answer?
Is getting more things done in less time going to make a difference -- or will it just increase the pace at which I react to the people and circumstances that seem to control my life?Could there be something I need to see in a deeper, more fundamental way -- some paradigm within myself that affects the way I see my time, my life, and my own nature?My marriage has gone fiat.
Or maybe that it's useless, and only a new relationship will provide the love I need.But is it possible that my spouse isn't the real problem? If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent, loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee. If you want the secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus first on primary greatness of character.The inside-out approach says that private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others.
It says it is futile to put personality ahead of character, to try to improve relationships with others before improving ourselves.Inside-out is a process -- a continuing process of renewal based on the natural laws that govern human growth and progress. It's an upward spiral of growth that leads to progressively higher forms of responsible independence and effective interdependence.I have had the opportunity to work with many people -- wonderful people, talented people, people who deeply want to achieve happiness and success, people who are searching, people who are hurting.
I've worked with business executives, college students, church and civic groups, families and marriage partners. And in all of my experience, I have never seen lasting solutions to problems, lasting happiness and success, that came from the outside in.What I have seen result from the outside-in paradigm is unhappy people who feel victimized and immobilized, who focus on the weaknesses of other people and the circumstances they feel are responsible for their own stagnant situation. I've seen unhappy marriages where each spouse wants the other to change, where each is confessing the other's "sins," where each is trying to shape up the other. I've seen labor management disputes where people spend tremendous amounts of time and energy trying to create legislation that would force people to act as though the foundation of trust were really there.Members of our family have lived in three of the "hottest" spots on earth -- South Africa, Israel, and Ireland -- and I believe the source of the continuing problems in each of these places has been the dominant social paradigm of outside-in. To recognize and develop them and to use them in meeting our deepest concerns, we need to think differently, to shift our paradigms to a new, deeper, "inside-out" level.As we sincerely seek to understand and integrate these principles into our lives, I am convinced we will discover and rediscover the truth of T.
We weave a strand of it everyday and soon it cannot be broken." I personally do not agree with the last part of his expression.
It involves a process and a tremendous commitment.Those of us who watched the lunar voyage of Apollo 11 were transfixed as we saw the first men walk on the moon and return to earth. Superlatives such as "fantastic" and "incredible" were inadequate to describe those eventful days. But to get there, those astronauts literally has to break out of the tremendous gravity pull of the earth.
More energy was spent in the first few minutes of lift-off, in the first few miles of travel, than was used over the next several days to travel half a million miles.Habits, too, have tremendous gravity pull -- more than most people realize or would admit. Breaking deeply imbedded habitual tendencies such as procrastination, impatience, criticalness, or selfishness that violate basic principles of human effectiveness involves more than a little willpower and a few minor changes in our lives. The gravity pull of some of our habits may currently be keeping us from going where we want to go. But it is also gravity pull that keeps our world together, that keeps the planets in their orbits and our universe in order.



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