What if, instead of a€?either-or,a€? and a€?just-right,a€? we leaned into the a€?yes-and?a€? What if our capacity to fully experience the richness of each moment is a function of our ability to simultaneously hold both sides of a paradox? You are able to read these words because your ancestors were hardwired for fear; fear of a harsh, unforgiving environment, and fear of other humans whose intentions were not in their best interest. If you were to ask your closest friends what they cherish most about you, and then ask what drives them a little crazy, the answer would be two sides of the same coin.
Masculine and feminine energies; simultaneously attracting and repelling, are forces that in concert, spark the creation of life itself. Create a visual representation (a collage, drawing or painting) that represents a key paradox in your life, and meditate on it regularly. A deck of a€?Paradox Cards” (with instructions) to use when exploring a question or problem, or when looking to jumpstart creativity.
Given that we are paradoxical beings living in a paradoxical world, what might be possible if we were to let go of the need to pick a side?
One key to building healthy relationships over time lies in our ability to continually bring fresh eyes to our interactions; to let go of the stories and assumptions (hea€™s always like this, shea€™s always doing that) that so easily become self-fulfilling prophecies. I invited her to take some time to vent; to say whatever came to mind, no filters, no restraints, and if, at any point, she felt she was losing too much control, I promised to reel her back in. I confess Ia€™m fascinated with the process of expanding self-perception and so I invite you to take The Fresh Eyes 30 Day Challenge. Here is the challenge: for the next 30 days, before you put your feet on the floor in the morning, look at yourself as if youa€™re being introduced for the first time, and ask: Who am I really?
As the day progresses and you catch yourself in the midst of your own a€?ita€™s just the way I ama€? story, stop and ask: Is that true? Many years ago, as I was struggling with a decision whether to remain in college or pursue my dream of becoming a professional musician, my father suggested I simply toss a coin. Step one is to clearly articulate the question you want to answer, the issue you need to tackle or the problem you want to solve. In the case of my decision whether to stay in school, the problem first surfaced as an overall dissatisfaction with my school experience, which I thought at first was a question of whether I made the right choice in my selection of colleges.
The issue of how to cut costs to compete with a lowballing competitor was actually an issue of how to create long-term, sustainable relationships with customers that truly valued our service.
Step two is a deep dive into the nitty-gritty; asking questions, brainstorming, soliciting opinions and collecting data. As I was exploring my school decision, it meant doing my due diligence to research where I wanted to live and how I might survive as I developed my musical career.
As an entrepreneur, when it came to making decisions about talent development, it meant getting to know the people who worked with me at a deeper level; finding what sparked them and what was holding them back, discovering their unique gifts and connecting with them as human beings living full, sometimes challenging lives. And when it came to business development it meant engaging everyone, from the customer, to the CFO, to the guy on the shop floor, in a conversation about how we might create long-term, sustainable partnerships. With all of the research, ideas, advice (solicited and unsolicited), spreadsheets, projections and other assorted data firmly in hand (recognizing you can never know everything there is to know about anything), the next step, which is critical and not to be skipped, is to categorize, clarify, review, assess, interpret and otherwise hone all the information into column A and column B, pros and cons, and strengths and weaknesses, so that it presents a clear, well-organized picture. With the question carefully articulated, the information thoroughly gathered and the results meticulously organized, the final step is to get out the matches, or the shredder (literally or figuratively), and dispose of the whole kit and caboodle.
The capacity to access our own deeper knowing is critical for all decision-makers, and what is life, if not a series of decisions; sometimes tiny and insignificant, and sometimes life and death.
In anticipation of Rick Tamlyna€™s 2nd bi-annual Bigger Game Expo, coming up in June of this year (which I highly recommend), I offer this piece that was inspired by my experience at the first. Not long ago, I had the privilege of attending the first Bigger Game Expo, a remarkable gathering of remarkable folks doing remarkable work in the world; some on a global stage, some on a community stage, and some in the intimate space of their own hearts.
To each of these beautiful souls who brought their gifts and their passions and shared their stories, with Mother Nature and the beautiful Lake George as their witness, I say a€?thank youa€?. And truth be told, the most amazing gift of those four days came to me in the most unexpected place. I want to thank you for the beautiful gifts you gave me this week, particularly since Ia€™m imagining that shrouded in pain, you didna€™t see yourself as a giver.
And then on the last day, as we held each other in anticipation of goodbye, I felt your pain leaking out and I had to ask if there was more (than mom), and you said a€?noa€? and I said a€?oka€? and we held on for a few more moments and parted. So when you sought me out, suitcase in hand, to ask what I had felt that compelled me ask if there was more, again I was surprised. Ita€™s Monday morning, after a full weekend of working, studying, eating, drinking, dancing and communing with friends. Ia€™m putting the last few items in my suitcase in anticipation of my trip home, and I hear the familiar bleep that signals a text message. Even before I pick it up, therea€™s a funny feeling in my stomach (intuition?), and when I look at the screen, I see the name of my ex; someone with whom I had a long, tumultuous and painful relationship. What is fascinating, as I watch my own reaction, is the process my body and brain are going through in that moment. On the other hand, for a good part of the time wea€™re out in the world, our prefrontal cortex serves us well. One of our great life challenges is learning how to keep our prefrontal cortex online (dona€™t bite the hook), and to recover quicklyA (get off the hook) when we do find ourselves in the jaws of the crocodile (pardon my mixed metaphors). I suspect many of those blockages are actually constructed of residual scar tissue from the old psychological wounds we all carry. When data hits one of those scars, it signals a threat, trips the alarm, doses us with adrenaline and cortisol, shuts down our rational brain and sends us into panic mode. The question is: how do we get it unstuck?A Or even better, how do we not get stuck in the first place? We do so much more harm beating ourselves up for feeling what we think we shouldna€™t feel, than could ever come from the actual feeling itself. When I have an experience of jealousy or bitterness or anger or any of a myriad of feelings Ia€™m less than proud of, what I am experiencing is only a feeling. Of course I dona€™t pretend to have the answer to this question but let me offer the reader a point of view that it might not be that far in the future! In his TED Talk, Simon Sinek used the theory of diffusion of innovation to explain how mass market success or acceptance can be reached. Diffusion of innovations is a theory that seeks to explain how, why, and at what rate new ideas and technology spread through cultures.
In his Ted Talk, Simon Sinek explains that if you want to have mass market success or acceptance of an idea you cannot have it until you achieve this tipping point between 15 and 18% and then the system tips. In his book Crossing the Chasm, Geoffrey Moore argues there is a chasm between the early adopters of the product (the technology enthusiasts and visionaries) and the early majority (the pragmatists). The most difficult step is making the transition between visionaries (early adopters) and pragmatists (early majority). Moore’s theories are only applicable for disruptive or discontinuous innovations (those who force a significant change of behavior by the customer). Coaching is indeed disruptive and it forces significant change of behaviour by the customer. According to the 2014 ICF global Consumer Awareness Study, 17% of the global population is very aware about coaching, 41% is somewhat aware, and 42% is not aware (p8 of the report).
17% of the population are very aware and have been in a coaching relationship (2014 ICF global Consumer Awareness Study. The 17% of the population that is aware and have been in a Coaching relationship is probably mostly composed of the Innovators and Early adopters and a few from the other categories. If 17% of the population are very aware and have been in a coaching relationship, we should be very close to the tipping point and to mass market acceptance. However, maybe the tipping point in the cases of human evolution thinking or awareness, is higher than in the theory of diffusion of innovation. As we have seen before, our profession seems to be in the tipping point zone which would trigger mass market acceptance. Coaching is now thought in many universities such as Columbia University and Georgetown University, and many others around the world. Many Celebrity coaches, like Tony Robbins, Marshall Goldsmith and others promote the profession of coaching through their work. Coaching is certainly a profession which can contribute very significantly to a better world and when we will reach mass market acceptance we could see a major shift in humanity!


In fact, all Coaches are so convinced that they we have found a great way to improve human life, that they have changed careers, they have invested thousands of $$$ and time in their development and they have shifted their lives and are dedicated to change human lives.
I think that the coaching community through the ICF and the likes of CTI (Coaches Training Institute) is striving toward that goal of reaching mass market acceptance. Envisioned Future-Big Audacious Goal: Elevate coaching to an integral part of society, with ICF Members representing the highest-quality professional coaches. The International Coach Federation is committed to enhancing global awareness of professional coaching and of ICF.
In their vision story, The Coaches Training Institute CTI, one of the biggest Coaching school in the world, is hoping to transform 50 million lives by 2023. As we can see, these examples of big audacious goals could have a major impact on humanity. In light of the vision and work being done through organizations or events we can assume that we will eventually reach mass market acceptance but since we are an innovative profession and we like to generate disruptive and positive changes in peoplea€™s lives and in the world, I am calling on you coaches for your ideas by asking you what else? I would be glad to hear your ideas and then I could put them all together and come back to you with a summary.
I hope to generate a discussion that will move us forward on our quest to change the world! The second major stigma is that coaching is for people who have remedial problems which need to be fixed.
I am very grateful for this post, and I love the connection made to Simon Sinek’s TED talk and the theory of diffusion of innovation.
Someone who is on a path of personal growth understands that coaching is good to help moving forward.
This is a great article with a lot of great insights that are helpful to the community and our profession.
Frankly speaking, these sources do not provide an extensive outlook on the level of acceptance of our profession.
The ICF and other web conferences play a very small role because they do not target audiences by any large measure, but rather they recruite coaches under their umbrella in service of regulating the profession.
Furthermore, the community as a whole still acts as a big pie of technicians instead of business people.
The tipping point will occur when more voices from our community become loud enough they get to speak to minimum number of millions (not necessarily at once). Most people know that Steve Williams, Tiger Woods caddy, what was the highest paid athlete in New Zealand, grossing over $8.8 million while he worked with Tiger. Instead of a bunch of coaches or the ICF or other self-interested body trying to get the word out, a trusted celebrity informing the public would get the word out to millions in a flash. I think as well that many people think that coaches are only for very successful people, they think they cannot achieve greatness in their lives. Not sure how this will happen, but in this day and time media makes industries, fads, & fashions credible, faster.
Tony Robbins did a video after 911 of a coaching he did between a muslim and jewish men and it was amazing. Speaking as an International Leadership Coach for 24 years (since 1991), I have come to the conclusion that we must, each coach, throw our rope around a BIG, JUICY goal…the mountain top of our future. Although I am new, I have thrust myself forward in my complete belief and love of this profession to all those around me, creating and building opportunities. Coaches Training InstituteA®, commonly known as CTIA®, is the largest in-person coach training school in the world and the only program to teach CTI's ground-breaking Co-Active CoachingA® model in highly interactive courses. If you have ever been interested in finding out what the Co-Active Leader Program is all about, this is your chance.
Our new Business Builder Virtual course is carefully designed to help you market your coaching business and help you address your most critical sales and marketing goals. Best of all, for those of you who were unable to travel to the in-person versions of Business Builder, we now have created an interactive Virtual program. In Western culture, we started to actively disconnect ourselves from the natural world around the 17th Century, nature became something to be dominated and utilised. In fact, we consume so much that if we all lived liked the average North American wea€™d need five whole planets to sustain us (dona€™t worry America, Europe is close behind!). He continues, a€?we are all here to contribute our gifts toward something greater than ourselves, and will never be content unless we are.a€™ And there lies the power of the purpose-led Co-Active model. Zoe Greenwood is Senior Learning Manager for Earthwatch, a trained Co-Active Coach and student with the Institute for Leadership and Sustainability, University of Cumbria.
Paradox is embedded in every moment; each time we say yes to one thing, we are saying no something else. To see the beauty of a perfect rose, and know that it, like everything else in the physical world (including ourselves), is temporary. Paradoxically, you are able to read these words because they were also hardwired for love and belonging. Understanding that our paradoxical nature stems from thousands of years of evolution allows us to be tender and compassionate with ourselves. Consider that both live within each of us, and imagine the inner resources we might tap if we were to give them free reign to dance their dance. We are always dancing with stillness and movement, freedom and responsibility, joy and pain, logic and imagination.
How might we view the world and all of the creatures in it, if we were to acknowledge our own brilliance and our fallibility, our ability to be with uncertainty and our need to know, the perfection of the universe and the pain and suffering that exists on our planet today? My client (Paul) was in the midst of a significant challenge; one with far reaching implications for his life and career. On one hand, self-acceptance and self-love are powerful tools in building a life of meaning and fulfillment. If, in the course of engaging in this practice, you discover something new and interesting about yourself, drop me a line (my email address is listed with my bio), and let me know how youa€™ve expanded your own story. What I didna€™t realize at the time was that his seemingly trivial decision-making technique was actually a means of tapping into my intuition. As I began to peel back the onion, I discovered a deep yearning to fulfill a life-long dream of playing music. The question of whether to fire an underperforming employee was actually a question of whether I could find a way to utilize the strengths this individual brought to the table. It meant talking to working musicians about the realities of their lives, and engaging in some serious soul-searching about whether my passion to play music was strong enough to withstand the inevitable disappointments, rejections, thrift store shoes, and macaroni and cheese dinners.
It meant asking hard questions and telling hard truths, in service of their growth and the growth of the organization.
You approached me (or perhaps I approached you, I dona€™t remember and it doesna€™t matter), and you didna€™t just hug me (the lovely default greeting in our confederation of like-minded souls) you loved me.
Surprised because I still didna€™t think of myself as someone whose insight and intuition would catch your attention. I pulled into a rest stop for a power nap, and without thinking, found myself drawn to Facebook. This week, my intention is to stand in the river, to stand in the fire, and to stand in the rain.A For this week, and for every week to come, my intention is grace.
My prefrontal cortex (the newer part of my brain that houses my executive functioning and rational thinking), is temporarily offline, leaving my amygdala (sometimes lovingly referred as my a€?crocodile braina€?) in charge. Ita€™s the part of our brain that allows us to make sense of our experience, to think before we act, and to be compassionate and kind. Imagine your neural web is rigged with a TSA type scanner that reviews all incoming data, and when information is received that is perceived as dangerous, the alarms go off, the conveyor shuts down, and the cavalry (your fighting, fleeing or freezing amygdala) marches in.
How do we repair the breaks (heal the wounds) in the system so therea€™s no trigger, or ita€™s a quick catch and release; information moves through as data in, sorted, and stored or discarded. Invite self-compassion, tenderness and a sense of humor about yourself and the human condition.
I was inspired by how he explained and demystified how great leaders communicate from the inside out.
Everett Rogers, a professor of communication studies, popularized the theory in his book Diffusion of Innovations; the book was first published in 1962, and is now in its fifth edition (2003).


You have to cross this gap between the line that includes the first 2 categories and this tipping point (the chasm). I believe that we can use the theory of diffusion of innovation and crossing the chasm to try to assess how far we are from mass market acceptance. It has not yet reached the masses which means that the majority of people dona€™t know what coaching is and what are the benefits of it.
33% of the 2nd unaware (19%) and 3rd aware (47%) group said they would consider a coaching relationship. It is widely used by CEOa€™s and executives of major companies in the world and it is promoted by such great minds as Bill Gates the richest mind on the planet and Eric Schmidt Googlea€™s CEO.
At the dawn of the second part of his life he undertook an 18 months journey during which he is currently fulfilling his passions of exploring and discovering the world and human nature while preparing the launch of his Coaching and Consulting firm.
In the coaching profession, we see our clients as naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. It is targeted at uncovering the unique strengths and beauty within each person on the planet, and it gives them permission to live in the splendor of their own truth. I will definitely keep my eye on the space to find new ideas for how to correct these two stigmas and other ways to fuel the coaching revolution!
The challenge that I see is, however, it focuses on minute sources such as the ICF and an online web conferece around executive coaching. Anything from the Middle East is still fairly unclear (unless you’re using studies from Israel, which is a great start!).
Many of the coaches who are well known today have gone out of their way to become more than just coaches. Without Steve doing an amazing job supporting tiger as he rose to godlike levels of fame, it’s unlikely that any golf caddy would be a household name. All of your points were right on and I’m looking forward to being one of those coaches that will make a difference with the public.
I have practiced in a secondary school, successfully coaching some students willing to participate. Experience the first powerful leadership training called Leadership Discovery: Creating from Self, without committing to the full four residential retreat Co-Active Leader Program. Ita€™s a strange concept really isna€™t it, that there is one day in the year when we celebrate the Earth? Thankfully it is now starting to dawn on us that this culture of separation has led to the severe degradation of our natural capital – healthy soil, clean air, freshwater etc.
We should be celebrating Earths Day but of course, there is only one Earth (close by at least), so in effect wea€™re stealing from future generations. For the past five years she has been designing and delivering immersive sustainability learning programmes for corporate executives, working in Europe, Asia and the Americas.
What if we saw seeming polarities as the yin and yang required to complete the circle, and the tension between them as a universal creative force? It allows us to recognize fear and love as essential (and beautiful) aspects of who we are. How might we show up differently if we were to recognize and embrace that it is, in fact, all true. He was struggling to manage his emotional reactivity, which was impacting his ability to think and respond effectively.
On the other, there was something in the way Paul articulated this statement about himself that sounded like he was repeating something hea€™d decided (or been told) a long time ago, and never put to the test since.
Ita€™s a method Ia€™ve used many times since, and it has served me (and those I have shared it with). Had I never looked beyond whether or not I was at the right school, I would have been trying to answer the wrong question, and I might have transferred to another program without ever addressing the underlying issue. Whata€™s fascinating about this process is that even though youa€™re well aware youa€™re setting yourself up as the subject of your own mini-psychology experiment,A you will react. She came to the conference to find nourishment for her soul that has become depleted as she traverses the rocky landscape of helping her mother transition from this physical plane to the next.
He talked about grace; the grace he saw in his family and the grace he found in his own heart. Perfect when therea€™s a bear, or youa€™re about to rear-end someone at a stoplight; not so effective when youa€™re standing in front of the room trying to resurrect an exercise thata€™s tanking. Give yourself permission to bring loving kindness as you acknowledge that your humanity is showing, yet again. I was especially inspired by the part on which he talks about getting mass market success or acceptance. Here are some reasons why I think we could use these theories to assess the state of Coaching.
This makes it a very small profession compared to other professions at this time in history. This is simply not true, a coach will work with you, one topic at a time, on a guided journey of your own humanity, values, beliefs, and limiting saboteurs that hold you back. There is nothing which needs to be fixed, but rather dreams that need to be embraced and lived fully. It would also help if such universities as Georgetown and Regent could gain more exposure for their coaching programs. There is an interesting article on the internet about the benefits gained at a primary school in Turkey through coaching. Zoea€™s passion is creating opportunities for people to experience the wonder of nature and supporting the personal change that often emerges as a result. I saw that your eyes were tired, and your body was tired and your soul was tired and the blood didna€™t flow through your veins the way I have seen it flow before. The first two categories are more proned to act on their gut decision and to act on what they believe. Through this journey of discovery, you a€“ the client a€“ will start to make empowering choices about how to live your life in an authentic, naturally powerful way. Of course there is plenty to be done, actions we can take, but I believe that it is as much about love as recycling.
So here we sit today, having inherited this dual nature; rife with hair-trigger fear responses, and a deep craving for love and belonging. This was not (secretly in my heart of hearts, and up until that moment unbeknownst to me) the result I was hoping for. We’re capable of doing so much more and we must step outside that bubble of underestimating ourselves whether mentally, financially, or even professionally.
My father taught me the importance knowing who you are, your strengths and weaknesses, and being ok with it. Not that I thought you didna€™t care, or that wea€™re not connected on some level; it was the ferocity and authenticity of your love that surprised and delighted me. Without the shiny exterior, the truth of your heart was right therea€¦accessible, tender and vulnerable. Once we can clearly demonstrate to individuals, and not just leaders, that coaching can help everyone live a more fulfilled life through helping them uncover their values and strengths, and use them to their fullest potential, then I think we will see a greater acceptance of coaching. It wouldna€™t need to involve lavish parties and ceremonies in the woods, just a collective appreciation for our one planet and its finite resources as we go about our daily lives. I dona€™t know if I would have seen it quite that clearly if not for you bringing that word into my awareness.
That being said, there are many child psychologists out there but is their approach like the co-active model?



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