On the other hand, everything I’ve observed in decades of coaching and observation tells me that there really is a process—subtle and far from obvious, but real—that draws wealth to some people, and almost seems to snatch it away from others. I’ve spent enormous amounts of time pondering this, thinking of all the people I’ve coached, trying different processes myself. The possible disappearance of all jobs isn’t bad news for those who are willing to fall back on the traits that made us such a successful species long before jobs were ever created: our ability to master unfamiliar environments and tasks by playing, fumbling, experimenting, and observing. Freedom from fixed ideas also opens our attention to a subtle but consistent source of guidance that seems to come from within. If these instructions sound frustratingly nonspecific, it’s because I can’t know what your internal guidance will say.
Although it seemed like a good idea at the time, my boosterism had some significant blowback. The difference between a dangerous spell—um, I mean goal—and a safe, effective one has everything to do with parts of speech. By using adjectives, you can avoid this trap by focusing all your efforts on the quality of the experience you want to create.
I realize that all this sounds a little woo-woo, but psychological research on happiness backs up my strategy.
My clients form my own database of sorts, convincing me that good goal-setting magic is (to use the social science terms) robust and valid.
These efforts helped Ilsa and Sue work and parent better, and handle the difficulties conjured by their original goals, all of which eased my fairy godmother guilt.
At least I know what ­I want in these moments: I want to stab myself in the head with a crab fork. My experience is that there’s almost always a way to get what you want, but (stay with me here) you have to ask for it.
On the other hand, I’d noticed that whenever something good happened, she explained it as a fluke. Despite its attendant miseries, there seems to be a useful place for a pessimistic explanatory style.
If you want to change your explanatory style, start by evaluating where you fall on the spectrum from pessimism to optimism. Testing your explanatory style is the beginning of mindfulness, of watching the way your brain tells stories.
Once you’ve become aware of your explanatory style and its elements, make a concerted effort to describe positive events as personal, permanent, and pervasive.
The great thing about developing an optimistic explanatory style is that it’s self-reinforcing.
This may sound a little mercenary because of the way our culture deals with money (obsessing about it continuously without ever mentioning it out loud), but I’m going to say it anyway. We look forward to reading your stories and thanks again for being a miracle in my life.  Just the fact that you are reading this makes you a bit of a Pronghorn to me.
Since childhood, I’ve had a vivid recurring dream in which I can move objects without touching them. A friend just gave me a gizmo called Mindflex, a game that includes a magnificently dorky-looking headset, a console, and a little foam ball.
This oversimplification makes my brain wince…which moves the Mindflex ball, confirming for me that the New Age ideal of mental magic—the notion that thoughts can create reality—is kinda, sorta supported by evidence. Next to the Mindflex on my desk is a photo box containing many images I’ve torn from magazines. I’ve made several vision boards that bombed out, and some that were so successful that the hairs on the nape of my neck prickled for months. When you start assembling pictures that appeal to this deep self, you unleash one of the most powerful forces on our planet: human imagination.
I’ve known for some time that staring at objects while holding pictures in my head makes reality oddly responsive.
Just days later, I was working on another illustration involving parrots (this children’s book was set in post-genocide Cambodia—what fun for kids!).
That’s when I began believing that animals respond to intense visual images held in the human imagination. For example, as I rummage through my current collection of images, my body is utterly unmoved by photos of mansions or designer clothing. Though it makes no logical sense, I know from experience that gluing these pictures on one big page will begin catalyzing something beyond my mind’s capacity to calculate or conceptualize.
But if you want to actually GET CLIENTS with your website and MAKE MONEY, as well as provide valuable information to your leads or prospects, then consider the information I’m sharing with you today. I was recently on a private Facebook group with fellow female hypnotherapists and saw a post from one of them with a link to her new website, which she was proudly sharing with the group. A few women asked me to share with them as well so they could learn to help their businesses. Having a lead capture offer and continuity marketing system is a more reliable client-attraction system with a website than just a static website with information on it.
This would come through emails (or direct mail) on a fairly regular basis—always in a giving mode (80-100% give, only 20% or occasional direct offers to purchase or at least contact you for further, personalized help).
Do you need help learning how to use your time and money wisely to get more clients, help more people, and make more money?
It might seem like a bold statement, but I believe that the majority of all success or failure in any endeavor is a direct result of what’s happening in your head and heart, which I explain succinctly through the TEAR formula. Understanding and following the TEAR formula will make you exponentially more likely to achieve your goals.
This is why it is the cornerstone of all I teach and do, and those who work with me are people who get this concept (and if they don’t, I cannot work with them). If you don't have a clear pathway for money to come to you, you are not set up for financial success. Whether you have had issues with money your whole life or if, like me, your money challenges started when you began your business, becoming very clear on how you are aware of money in your life is a key element to having a better experience with it. Are you experiencing changes in your life that will eventually lead to a better and more free “you”?
I’ve done a lot of my own inner work around various money blocks and have learned some great concepts and techniques around attracting money more easily and consistently, and I share these with my private clients.
Treat money like you would a person you are dating and want to have a good relationship with. This perspective has completely shifted my concept about money and my relationship with it! I promised to share in this next blog some specific ways that I and my clients and readers have used that have helped us to get measurable (and often very quick) results from tapping into the power of gratitude. We’re told to believe a thousand things, but the value of releasing beliefs easily isn’t one of them. Returning to the open mind-state that’s natural to all of us enables us to spot new opportunities when old ones disappear and create innovative solutions to unprecedented problems. You see, Ilsa’s business did succeed, but its rapid growth required her to work like a pack mule.
In my fairy godmother role, I should’ve paid less attention to logistics and probed deeper into the reasons Ilsa and Sue had focused on those particular ambitions, because stated goals are quite magical. Ilsa expected business success to produce feelings of contentment; Sue thought a baby would make her feel loved. Use your brainpower right now to imagine what your life would be like if you realized the goal you just identified.
Over and over, researchers studying happiness have found that the situational elements people crave—money, social status, possessions—don’t reliably lead to an experience of well-being.
For example, when I asked Ilsa to go back in time and imagine what she once thought she’d get from a successful business, she described herself with the adjectives relaxed, joyful, and secure (ironically, the demands of her wildfire success made her feel tense, joyless, and insecure). She realized that her noun-verb goal (having a baby who’s beautiful and also colicky) actually created the opposite of her adjective goal—she felt unappreciated, haggard, and drained. So if you find yourself longing for some idealized goal, take a moment to go fishing for adjectives.
I’ve also noticed that what these people lack is almost never the freedom, money, youth, or support they think they need. There’s nothing I can do to help someone who won’t look inside and identify a clear desire.
Day in, day out, her mind serialized every piece of bad luck into another episode in a continuing Saga of Doom and deflected every happy event into the Meaningless Trivia scrap pile. Some people appear to downplay positive aspects of their situations to limit their expectations and help them feel less pressured. The mind slips into them over and over, and at first, steering down another route is extremely difficult.


Initially, you may simply notice that a thought seems negative; as you pay more attention, you will begin to see how you use the three Ps. Tell the story of a bad event without personalizing it or thinking that it will have a broad, lasting impact on your life.
It increases your hope and expectation that your whole health-and-fitness regimen, mental and physical, will be worth the effort. She’s managed to drop a pattern of emotional eating, stay on an effective workout schedule, and lose five pounds. The fact is, of course, that I am bizarrely fortunate to be doing what I’m doing right now. I am continuously amazed by the way people frantically look for jobs when almost nobody likes them and they are going away. You may think your survival hinges on replicating what somebody else made up and labeled “job.” But do you know what that person was doing?
This month I will be somewhat cryptic, because although things are in process, they are not yet signed, sealed, and delivered. Post your Pronghorn Alert on my Facebook or Twitter page (use the hashtag #wildworld) between now and Noon Pacific time on December 12th (Yes! The headset transmits your brain’s electrical activity to a fan in the console that blows the ball into the air. The discoveries of physicist Werner Heisenberg, not to mention my recurring dream, long ago convinced me that the mind influences physical matter. My goal is to teach you how to use one aspect of that magic, something indubitably cheesy but surprisingly effective. I was persuaded of this by two events so striking and improbable that I’ll describe them to you in some detail. I wanted to paint it from a child’s perspective, with the pachyderm rearing back, lifting one front leg, raising its trunk, and opening its eyes and mouth in surprise.
In the midst of my research, I learned to my surprise that there was a species of parrot indigenous to my own turf in Arizona. So does my Mindflex, and perhaps even complex phenomena like one’s love life or career.
What interests it are pictures of an abstract sculpture, a dried leaf, and (overwhelmingly) a map on which the migratory route of the springbok antelope is shown in red. Do it as a lark, a hobby, a physics experiment (though calling it that may cause Werner Heisenberg to spin in his grave like an Olympic ice dancer). All the posts were about how great it looked, how pretty it was, and how her personality came through on it. A woman who was also a former web designer, however, countered back to not take my advice until looking at my website and that how I had my website set up would not be effective in a UK market (where both the ladies were from). Conversely, failure to understand and follow this formula is likely to lead to a failure to achieve your goals.
Is it a loving passionate affair, or is it fizzled out and down in the dumps?  Is it a love story or a horror story?  Has it been that way for a while (even “all your life”)? For about three centuries the Western economy has been dominated by jobs that require fixed, repetitive actions. Like any codependent life coach, I wanted everything for Ilsa and Sue that they wanted for themselves. Sue eventually had a baby, who filled her heart with love—and her ears with colicky shrieking that nearly unhinged her. This frequently leads to either outright failure or the kind of success that doesn’t make people nearly as happy as they expect.
Some people may have deep desires to establish world peace, stop global warming, and end poverty, but maybe you actually think more about, I dunno, reaching your target weight. For instance, if your New Year’s resolution is to lose ten pounds—a noun-verb goal—but your adjectives are strong, confident, and healthy, you might realize that your actual aim is to get fit.
When she scanned her life for activities and relationships that made her feel aligned with those adjectives, she found them everywhere: in gardening, reading novels, playing with her niece. It turned out that her magical adjectives described the way she felt when connecting with old friends.
Then use them to identify the aspects of your life that are already drawing you toward your heart’s desires.
Here’s a helpful hint: Right now, think of something that sounds fun, something you could do today. In the seven years I’ve known her, Julia has changed her explanatory style deliberately, gradually, and successfully. Stopping habitual thoughts as they flash along these pathways, turning one’s mental energy to a new way of thinking, requires an effort that is not merely impressive but heroic.
The idea is to identify a destructive thought pattern, then simply label it and watch it and let it pass by whenever it appears in your mind. This frame of mind will help keep you not only happy but healthy; studies have linked it to improved immune function, better lung function, quicker recovery from heart surgery, and a lower risk of heart disease. Even more dramatic are the changes in her posture and facial expression, which have gone from cringing and miserable to alert and interested, making her much more attractive and approachable. That said, this good fortune came my way because my friends and I decided to make it happen. Most of the clients I’ve coached tell me two things: #1) They absolutely hated all the jobs they’ve done in their lives, and #2) They desperately need another one. The resulting collage will be a vision board; its purpose, to depict (and lead me to) my desired future. I thought it was a joke—oh, sure, like I could do that—never expecting that a few years later I’d be invited to speak in Africa and while there meet folks who are healing African ecosystems. Even a rich, happily married beauty queen with a Porsche in the driveway and a house on the ocean will crank out this same damn vision board. I had no photographs that showed this scenario, and it wasn’t the easiest thing to imagine.
I stared at these parrots in my bird book, wishing that one day I could see a living specimen. I also noticed that the mental state that produced the elephant and parrot miracles was very different from the hankering I directed at my usual goals. For example, I want to be better at social media—you know, all that Faceplace Twootle Googler stuff. After a few more posts where I tried to share about having foundational elements but adapting it to your own target market, we agreed to disagree. I am frequently testing and changing things on them and there are more things I have plans to change.
You’ve got to guide them to a next step on their information and transformation journey. It requires more trust and for them not to have the fear that you’re just going to try to sell to them.
There is a win-win logic behind this offer-capture system that serves both you AND the person seeking help, in a fully authentic way that is win-win. I know at times it may seem like it, but take comfort in knowing that you create your own reality. I longed for a magic wand that would let me bippity-boppity-boo their dreams into reality, fairy godmother–style. Both women were in more distress after achieving their goals than they’d ever been before.
But using magic inexpertly, as most fables (and almost every Harry Potter movie) can attest, is a bad idea. Loiter there awhile, observing your dream-come-true with your mind’s eyes, ears, nose, skin.
It requires that you translate holistic, right-brain sensations into specific, left-brain words.
Both Ilsa and Sue managed to give more attention and time to the things that evoked the feelings they really wanted.
Focusing on these people and activities will lead you gently toward even more fulfilling experiences.
It’s like going into a restaurant and saying, “Bring me the food I love best!” without identifying the food. We held the seminar on Pismo Beach, California, for reasons I will describe in a minute. The first day, as we stood on the beach, some of us used the animal-calling exercise described in Finding Your Way In A Wild New World.
She stressed that other people’s interest never lasted, even though I knew she had been the one to end most romantic relationships (not pervasive). Giving up defensive pessimism may invite disappointment in certain situations, but overall, Julia’s quality of life and her physical health are benefiting as she turns herself into a thoroughgoing optimist.


Not only does her mood improve every time she observes and alters a negative explanation rather than getting mired in it, but her body appears to love the change.
I just said “This is a tough job.” But of course, it’s not a job in the sense that most people use that word. To draw this to its logical conclusion, I suggest we all do what Salvador Dali was rumored to have done—purchase our own coffins, climb in, and pretend we are all finished with everything, forever.  The fact is, as long as we are breathing, the conditions of our lives will always be in flux, our ships still sailing in, the things we already own potentially dissolving (or disappearing). As a matter of fact, you’d most likely have it in your hot little hands by Christmas. This whole process makes me roll my eyes—as I was trained to do over the course of my very rationalist education—but damn if it doesn’t work.
So I went to a circus, found an elephant who seemed to be parked in neutral, crouched down in front of him, and squinted, imagining what he’d look like with his leg lifted and his trunk raised.
At that moment, I swear to God, I heard a scratchy thump, and three rare parrots landed on the window screen less than a yard from my face. And I’ve come to realize that you need to get into that mind-space if you want your vision board to work for you like a short-order cook hopped up on Red Bull.
Wondering, then finding out, is one of the most delicious things about assembling a vision board. However, I do know that I have elements in my website that DO help me to more effectively market to and get clients than the typical coach or holistic practitioner). Instead of looking at your situation as negative, try to identify how it serves you for it to be happening. Instead, I did the next best thing: I worked with them as they made to-do lists and financial plans and stocked up on computer software and folic acid. After years of helping clients like Sue and Ilsa, I learned how to help people set goals to get what they want without unintended consequences. Thanks to adjectives, you can fine-tune your strategy: Swap a fad diet for a meeting with a nutritionist, and sign up for weight training classes at the gym.
One day you may find yourself in a situation more interesting and delightful than anything you ever imagined. By the following day, so many whales were surfacing off Pismo Beach that it made the national news.
Changing your thought diet—your way of thinking—may be the best thing you can do to stay on your food diet.
I didn’t go down to the unemployment office in Phoenix where I live and ask an employment officer to please find me a job running luxury safaris in South Africa.
The whole construct of a job is just a cultural anomaly that has existed for a brief period of history. In fact, this is the single most important skill you can have in the 21st century­—not to do a job but to invent a job.
I was somewhat nervous about the entire event.  Even though I have been running them for years, I have never been to a retreat myself. For more information on the contest and to hear me talk about my own Pronghorn Alert, watch the video below.  Then pop on over and post your Pronghorn Alert pronto! Just page through a magazine (and walk through the world) noticing things that trigger physical reactions: a heart thump, a double take, a gasp.
You do this with focused, intense thinking—something you’re almost always engaged in.
I tried reading blog posts and signing up for all sorts of new online accounts, but I was making zero progress. Make sure they know they are the type of person you help and what kind of results they can get from working with you. Not so much, dear.” I used to think this kind of guidance was only available to the enlightened. On the other hand, if you immediately begin focusing on aspects of your present life that make you feel valued, satisfied, or unstoppable, you’ll feel an instant lift. Listen closely and you’ll hear my annoying little voice in your head, whispering, Bippity-boppity-boo. For example, putting a positive spin on events in our past is associated with an enormous array of health benefits, from improved immune function to reduced stress to quicker healing, with all their emotional and physical advantages. I didn’t send out a bunch of resumes and out of the clear blue sky get an offer to do this for money. We are problem-solving animals, born with brains that can make astonishing things like computers and Toll House cookies.
I had no clue what shamanic ceremony we’d be performing and, as some of you know, I have a slight tendency toward anxiety­—to the extent that waking up in the morning is an athletic exercise of will and courage.  The one thing that can reliably calm me down is an animal—any animal. You’ve felt the repellent energy of salespeople desperate to hook you—it makes you sprint away so fast, you cause sonic booms. Two weeks later, I was working on my laptop in a bookstore when a man with a kind face asked me if I liked my computer. But in working with thousands of clients, I’ve come to believe it’s always right there, nearer than near, whispering a calm truth.
To some degree, we may be able to literally explain away many devastating physical problems. Why in God’s name would such an astonishing creature submit to a lifetime of drudgery on the assumption that there is no other option, even when that option no longer works?
He turned out to be a social media specialist and an extremely nice guy, and I hired him to be my social media genius. I’M JUST SAYING. The fact is that real magic does not require the grandiosity of a Hollywood movie. Maybe you fell in love and weren’t sure if the object of your affection would love you back.
These calls to action help both you AND them to continue to serve them to a point of resolution.
Maybe you planted weed in the back of your walk-in closet and had to wait to see if it matured before the authorities caught you. You might even find that as you follow the things that make you feel appreciated, you’ve tripped into an entirely different career. So starting now, survey your life for anything (I mean anything) that can be described with any of those three words. Magic is glory, not what I call “gloriola.” On that same note, I want to thank anyone who gave so much as a glancing thought to my story about wanting a ranch where I could live close to nature. Putting all your attention on those aspects of your life will make you happier right now and help you create future situations that fulfill your true desires.
If not, if you spent sleepless nights or anxious days anticipating an outcome you could not control, welcome to the club.
Despite everything you may have been taught, it’s letting go, not holding on, that can always show you the way. All I know is that I can now sit on my front porch watching wild turkeys, deer, foxes, skunks, and potentially a bear (some of the coaches saw him down the road a bit, and there is nothing stopping him from visiting me).
I like to think of them as starter leopards. In short, I live in a three-dimensional miracle—and so do you. Before the Wayfinder Workshop, several tribe members gathered with a Shaman to dedicate the land to the objective of “Restoring Eden”—healing animals, ecosystems, and humans, in any way possible. So you might as well dive in and enjoy optimism knowing that while you cannot control all outcomes, you can control how well you cope with circumstances that hurt your feelings. My favorite story about handling disappointments comes from the India guru Amrit Desai. Stop trying.” Without words, she helped me find an incredibly deep flow wave of movement in my lower torso. One day his cleaning lady knocked over a display case and smashed most of the irreplaceable crystals. When she tearfully pointed out her mistake, expecting a violent reaction, the guru shrugged and told her “Those things were for my joy, not for my misery.” This month, accept things for your joy instead of making them the reason for your misery. Hope for your wildest dreams to come true, and then spend all your time imagining, discussing, dreaming, and enjoying the happiest possible outcome in advance. Your dreams are for your joy; even if they lie crushed on the ground, you need not make them responsible for misery. If you raise your eyes from the shards you’ll find more dreams all around, and many of them can come true.
As Marcel Proust wrote, “If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time.”  I’ll update you next month, but in the meantime I plan to enjoy myself!



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