I blame every make-over show ever aired, those show feed our guilty pleasure of giving a guy the perfect make-over and transforming himself into the person we actually want to be with. Every guy has that one gross-out habit, or a couple of hundred, whether it’s picking his nose, spitting, grabbing his balls shamelessly in public, or even worse farting and telling you there’s a surprise under blankets. I like to call them time robbing hobbies with absolutely no future potential ruining his mood and mine. Okay, this is one of the things I really don’t like about guys, but apparently they just can’t help it.
This is a thing almost all men share: the fact that they resent you for taking so long to get ready. We cook, clean, paint our toenails, pluck our eyebrows, and hold a conference call all at the same time while he has difficulty answering a simple question with the TV on.
And expecting you to rescue him (and the boys) when they find themselves yet again at the police office trying to explain how that goat got in their neighbor’s pool in the first place.

And if he does it’s immediately followed with a “but…” or some stupid explanation why he was acting like a dick. This is a story about how a short, semi-young girl tries to find love (or sex) in a world filled with men, awkward moments and many, many dilemma’s. But apparently that’s being inconsiderate, and I haven’t seen the light yet of what his “inventions and talent” could do for the world. I once read that, while we as females are able to secretly look at other men from the corner of our eyes, men are incapable of doing this because their peripheral vision isn’t as wide as ours. They like you to look good, but they just can’t understand why you have to spend so much time trying to look nice when you always look perfect, even without your make-up on or without some fancy clothes. While he’s being his perfect rational self (and in some weird way is right), the only correct response when a girl’s complaining is. And do we really want a guy like Kanye West, crawling onto your lap and balling his eyes out?

Men will never stop telling little white lies in order to make you feel good about yourself. But in reality he’ll just be playing around with the drill all day, while you’re trying to figure out the seemingly easy IKEA instruction manual.
He will never tell you that yes, your ass does look fat in those jeans or that you’re wearing too much makeup (is there really such a thing) or that he finds your heartbreak over Zayn Malik leaving One Direction ridiculous.

Dreams contact lenses 5.99
Quotes from the book my life next door
Teamwork tips


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