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If your out of high school smoking weed still, you're a loser and should be cleansed from society.
We did our own research into the lexical world of VAGINA, and this produced some interesting results.
The fact that Republicans are trying to legislate something they are unwilling to even say adds extra layers of hilarity to VAGINAgate. In a world conspicuously devoid of adverts for wiener cleaner, it’s a bit disconcerting to see ‘Woo hoo for my froo froo!’ posted on the side of telephone boxes throughout the country. Such terms are perhaps just about acceptable when you have a little girl with a tricycle injury and don’t want her uttering the C-bomb. The problem with euphemising the term ‘VAGINA’ is that it takes serious discussion of them off to the menu.
Of course, the implication that you can’t really love your VAGINA unless you use a certain product is deeply impertinent. Until they finally realised that it annihilated everything good inside your flange, douching that made you smell detergent-like was an incredibly popular activity, promoted mostly by VAGINA-haters in the US. In light of this, it’s of utmost importance that you learn to call your VAGINA what it is, and furthermore, accept it in its natural state.
Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett and Holly Baxter are co-founders and editors of online magazine, The Vagenda.
Other people are content with the shirts they arrived in (“Waterboarding – baptising terrorists with freedom” and “If you don’t BLEED red, white and blue, take your bitch ass home!”). A grizzled man in camouflage pants and combat boots, whose T-shirt – “Connecticut Militia III%” – confirms him as a member of the “patriot” movement, is talking to a zealous young girl in a short skirt, who came in dancing to “Uptown Girl”. His rivals, who are useless individually, were meant to co-operate with each other and the national party to deny him the nomination. This anger, which can supposedly be turned on anyone who gets in the way, has mainly been vented, so far, on the protesters who disrupt Trump’s rallies. It is their removal by police, at Trump’s ostentatious behest, that causes the disruption, rather than the scarcely audible protesters. After a horrified split-second, the Trump crowd, massively more numerous, rallies with “USA!” and – perplexingly, since one of the main themes of the speech it has just heard was the lack of jobs in Connecticut – “Get a job!” The two sides then mingle, unobstructed by police. There is no violence, only this: some black boys are dancing, with liquid moves, to the sound of the drum. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.
There couldn’t be a better humorous way to wish someone than a funny rhyme on their birthday yet make them feel how special they are. On your special day, let me wish you abundance of joy, I know you are too old, but I still bought you a toy! Yet another funny way to greet on someone on their birthday is to wear a hilarious costume. For this, you will have to change the traditional birthday song with some awesome and crazy twist.
One of the most creative, surprising yet funny ways to say happy birthday is through a prank call. This is one of the most successful and funny ideas to say happy birthday to someone you love. T-shirts have always played a good role in making any occasion memorable and funny at the same time. This funny birthday greeting turns really interesting if he or she is pretty inquisitive about those birthday gifts.
I’m only writing this because I know you’ll check to see if I wished you a happy birthday the next time I ask you for a favor! So excited to measure your popularity and overall value as a person based on how many birthday wish comments you receive! Just wanted to show how much you mean to me by exerting minimal effort to express basic human pleasantries! Your profile picture is so saturated and hipstamatic’d to within an inch of its life, I’d swear you’d turned another year younger!
I don’t know you at all but we have a lot of mutual friends and I think I met you at a party once. I can’t believe something as gross as your parents having sex made something as normal as you!
You’re one year closer to finally finding out the terrible truth your family has kept hidden all this time! After checking out the profiles of the other birthday well-wishers, I agree with what you were saying about most of your friends being ugly and boring! Rumor has it that you are as old as your nose and your two big toes, but a little older than your teeth. We were all worried when you arrived that the stork had delivered a bad egg…but we were wrong. Happy anniversary of the nine month anniversary of your dad blowing his load inside your mom.
On behalf of the world we would like to take this time to thank you for adding another year to your life and for providing another 365 days of fresh CO2 for the trees.

Since your mother worked extremely hard on your birthday to birth you, shouldn’t she be the one getting the presents, cake, and party? It may not display this or other websites correctly.You should upgrade or use an alternative browser. Showers with gas work best, just bring them in under the pretense that they are having a shower and going to a place where all snack food is free and all you can eat. If anything it's that attitude that keeps marijuana illegal and wastes more of our money enforcing it. Perhaps because our VAGINAS, especially those of our American sisters are, much like Stalingrad, increasingly under siege (Stalingrad is another euphemism for VAGINA). The feminist backlash to the suggestion of transvaginal probes involved women inundating Senator Ryan McDoogle’s Facebook page with detailed information about their lady bits.
From the Inga Muscio classic Cunt: A Declaration of Independence to Dr Catherine Blackledge’s The Story of V, to Caitlin Moran’s How to Be a Woman, women have been trying to wrestle their vaginas out of male hands and away from male terms which don’t belong to us for ages now.
Half the population carry them around in their pants without freaking out, yet if VAGINAS were supposed to complement the saccharine, flower-gathering view of everyday women by smelling like a lavender patch, they would.
VAGINAS are a wonderful arrangement of flaps capable of the most magnificent things, just as God, in Her infinite wisdom, intended.
Outside the Connecticut Convention Centre in Hartford, frail old men and brawny moms are selling “your Trump 45 football jerseys”, “your hats”, “your campaign buttons”.
Only a minority within a minority of Americans, it was assumed, could possibly be stupid enough to think a Trump presidency was a good idea. But Trump won four out of the five key states being contested on “Super-Duper Tuesday” on 15 March. According to his new manager, Paul Manafort, this requires him to appear in “more formal settings” – without, of course, diluting “the unique magic of Trump”.
His people seem uplifted but, out on the street, they are ambushed by a large counter-demonstration, with a booming drum and warlike banners and standards (“Black Lives Matter”; an image of the Virgin of Guadalupe, holding aloft Trump’s severed head).
Four young Trump guys counter by stripping to their waists and jouncing around madly, their skin greenish-yellow under the street lights, screaming about the building of the wall. Yes, of course it is a bit sad that you are getting a year old but at the same time you have this amazing feeling inside to celebrate it. Just some few fresh words, when spoken or written with love can make the birthday boy or girl feel joyous and special. Happy Birthday on your very special day, I hope that you don’t die before you eat your cake.
Rather posting those usual birthday wishes and animated cartoons, why not a virtual birthday party instead?
Say for example, you can talk to the birthday person like a caller from a popular game show. But this prank requires the birthday person to be at home so that you can turn his or her birthday into real fun. When you drive the birthday boy or girl to the location, have someone to push a human-like pinada in front of your car.
All you have to do is to get a human-size carton, where one of his best friends should be inside, wearing a really creepy mask.
Now I’m going to force an inside joke out of something trivial I recall from that night: Like, MCNUGGETS?!
You could have clawed and fought and beat your little baby fists to stay inside your mother, but instead you just said “whatever” and let the chips fall where they may. State representative Lisa Brown hilariously offended some Republicans last week when she had the temerity to utter the word during a ridiculously euphemistic debate about female contraception and abortion.
The fact that ‘VAGINA’ is back with a vengeance can only be good in the face of patronising advertising such as the below, from a well-known feminine hygiene brand that we don’t care to publicise here. Celebrating because you got the right product to make your natural VAGINA less disgusting: not exactly the passive aggressive message we relish. The potential for hilarity (pastrami curtains, anyone?) has been eschewed in favour of prudishness. How on earth are we supposed to retain possession of them if we can’t even call them what they are? Lisa Brown being banned from saying "vagina", it's no wonder America were at the forefront (pun intended) of fanny denial. Once you do that, you’ll realise that anyone who says otherwise is most likely a DOUCHEBAG. He won New Hampshire and South Carolina with over 30 per cent of the Republican vote, then took almost 46 per cent in Nevada. Then, as talk turned to persuading and co-opting his delegates behind the scenes, Trump won New York with 60 per cent. But whether or not he can resist denouncing the GOP and the “corrupt” primary system, and alluding to violence if he is baulked at at the convention, the new Trump will be much the same as the old.
Here is the rest of the world, the real American world: young people, beautiful people, more female than male, every shade of skin colour.
There was no alcohol inside; they’re drunk on whatever it is – the elixir of fascism, the unique magic of Trump. If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.

All you have to do is set the entire clocks in the house ahead by 1 or 2 hours to get things confusing. Invite his friends and with a surprise, burst a big balloon on his head (the balloon should already be filled with some itching powder). So, you got to collect 20 to 25 t-shirts that completes the line: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN (or whatever the name you want). Wrap the box neatly but ensure that there is enough space for the person inside to breathe.
We encountered two Italian exchange students who told us that the standard slang term for down there in Italy is ‘potato’ - a visual we’re finding it slightly difficult to get our heads around. They suggest a variety of terms, ranging from ‘mini’ to ‘twinkle’ to ‘hoo ha’, before uttering the immortal tagline ‘whatever you call it, make sure you love it.’ VOM.
The whole ‘froo froo’ shebang has led to an internet-wide speculation on how you should refer to your lady parts - with equally cutesy results. Fundamentalist Christians are no better, as the online post ’51 Christian Friendly Terms For VAGINA’, which jokingly suggests such legends as ‘sin bucket’, ‘devil sponge’ and ‘neighbour of anus’, goes to show. Which is why it is of utmost importance that, if you can bring yourself to do it, you stop referring to your ‘la-la’ and start using the proper anatomical terminology. Pussy polishers that claim to say woo woo to your frou frou are just the natural extension of douching, which should have died a death before we even knew they did more harm than good.
When he cleaned up on Super Tuesday in March, he was just shy of 50 per cent in Massachusetts; a week later, he took 47 per cent of the votes in Mississippi. Now, let’s face it – what’s that one word people get to hear over and over again on their birthday? You can even throw a virtual party with the help of virtual party apps, which is already inbuilt.
The excitement heats up when there are more interesting questions from his or her side, as if it is a real call. Perhaps, you can sketch few funny cartoons, write some funny phrases or poems or sketch illustrations on the card.
This funny trick goes really well if you are with the victim so that you can keep him diverted even if something is about to go wrong. Once the birthday person opens the gift with an intention to get something big, he will get the scariest moment of his life. A schoolgirl, meanwhile, insisted that her mother referred to it as her ‘fairy’, which is just begging for years of psychoanalysis later in life when she realises that at the same age, she believed that a fairy took her teeth in exchange for money. The same happened to Texas Governor Rick Perry, who since deleting the posts became the lucky recipient of oodles of hand-knitted and crocheted VAGINAS. We wouldn’t go so far as to suggest that you inundate the Facebook page of that ‘feminine hygiene product’ (read: vagina perfume) with ‘VULVA’ posts, but here’s the link and a labelled diagram of the general area. I’ll talk right over them, there’s no problem!” But it’s impossible to leave the protesters where they are, because it would not be safe. Whether you are going to greet the person directly or need some unusual ideas to rock the day, here are some great funny ways to do it. For example, Chinese, Italian, Latin, Romanian, Spanish, Japanese, French etc… and when the moment comes – throw all that out. Shortlist some funniest YouTube birthday videos, copy and paste the URLs on your friend’s wall. Finally, when he or she is completely into the phone, sing a nice birthday song and give a f****** surprise.
The birthday boy will look puzzled when he steps out the next morning to office and finds out that the world is running too slow. Preoccupy the washroom so that he or she is not allowed to wash off the itching powder away. Shout it from your office cubicle, your freelancer’s Starbucks table, your library cubby hole (also a euphemism for VAGINA). Finally - the mystery of where those milk teeth disappear to is solved (and with it, the origins of the possibly mythological disease ‘VAGINA dentata'). Then there was the viral video, ‘Republicans, Get in my VAGINA.’ VAGINAS are back, and they mean business. This surely is going to be the most hilarious moment of his or her life and yes, of course, one of the funny ways to say happy birthday.
If no, then here we bring you 15 most unique birthday greetings to tell someone on their special day.
He or she will be bewildered and probably will take few seconds to figure out what’s happening around.
Most itching powders, especially the ones designed for birthday parties are manufactured using natural products.

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