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From special day to relieving stress: Kevin Cotter's new book sees him re-imagine his ex's dress - with hilarious results.
After leaving him after 12 years on July 4, 2009, Mr Cotter's ex told him that he could do as he wished with her lace-edged wedding dress.
If anyone was in any doubt, the irreverent paperback proves that a wedding dress may in fact have more uses than a Swiss Army knife, and can get you out of some very tricky DIY spots - not to mention having in-built shoe polishing, hairdressing, showering and cooking applications.All of the photos are taken by Mr Cotter's brother Colin.
Soap suds: Following his divorce, Mr Cotter set about turning his ex's dress from a painful memory into a new beginning.
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Tara Ellison says that having a child in the divorce equation makes the obligation to keep things amicable stronger. It sounds like the plot of a sitcom or a chick flick starring Cameron Diaz, but the concept of being friendly with your ex’s new Significant Other seems to be gaining popularity.
In the name of goodwill, and at the behest of my daughter, they even invited my then-fiance and I to their wedding (we went!). We’ve had plenty of time to sort through that now and happily it’s all water under the bridge.
The cold truth about divorce is that when you have kids, you can never really sever yourself from your ex-partner. What you don’t anticipate is just how much this new mate will affect your own life — it’s almost like you’re being roped into an arranged marriage. I met this challenge with both good and not-so-good behavior, depending on how things were going.
Even though we’re very different types, with different backgrounds, I found myself liking her.
I’ve seen this equation from both sides of the fence now, as I have since remarried and have step-kids of my own. Of course, if you’re dealing with someone who has emotional or substance issues or simply isn’t open to being civil, all bets are off and the best thing you can do is maintain your distance and keep tight boundaries.
While we are a long way from doing that, this past Christmas we had them over for dinner and it was very pleasant, and she continues to be very gracious towards me.
When you divorce, the right thing to do is to behave decently, as you say, but this is an output of morality, not an input. I agree it would be morally wrong to bring on the hate if no kid was present, but I do not think that not bringing on the hate because one is present shows that the author is immoral. The very clear and simple reason I must strive to be a grown-up about this (and preferably a nice grown-up) is that I have a child in the equation. Guys, IF you decide that you absolutely MUST get married in order to be a happy camper, do yourself a favor and look for a woman who has got an functioning inner moral compass, rather than someone like this. A person with a functioning inner moral compass will do the right thing simply because it’s the right thing to do! And yes, you womenz should feel free to do a gender flip, and consider the exact same advice.
In other words, true ethics are not situational, based on the perceived benefit you are going to accrue by being ethical. New Rochelle Football Captain Gets Loud About His Team’s ChancesRochelle’s football captain plans on leading his team to success.
This Pneumatic Post Driver is Simple and BrilliantDriving posts for fences is a pain, and this automatic pneumatic tool makes it painless. Viking Invaders Struck Deep Into the West of England – and may Have Stuck AroundThere’s something in the water. Married Bliss Comes and Goes Like the Tide – 6 Ways to Keep the Tide INThe honeymoon never lasts forever, but you can keep that loving feeling going every single day. Millions Spread out Across the Entire LandscapeDown low in the fields of gold the ground hugging layer of tiny herbs may be found. How to Find Peace With Your Soulful AndrogynyAuthor Andy Hall examines his life compared to stereotypes of the man box and finds peace with his androgyny. Straight Guys, Here is Why Some Gay Guys Dread Meeting YouAll of these problems are ripples of a larger problem, pressure on all men in patriarchal societies to define themselves with hypermasculinity. I Hate You Messages for Ex-Husband: Divorce can shatter lives in a way that can never be imagined. 2) Divorcing you is something that I never wanted, but you took me and my love for granted. 3) I forgot to read the fine print on our marriage certificate which said ‘Beware of a cheating husband’. 4) If I knew that lusting after other women was one of your hobbies, I would have made spying on you a hobby of mine. 5) I can’t sleep on a bed which has been smothered with another woman’s scent, and I can’t be with a man whose morals are so bent.
10) The difference between you and me is that our divorce was just a chapter in your life’s book whereas it was The End in mine. 15) The problem with our marriage was that you wanted freedom from the responsibilities of committing your life to me, while I saw my freedom in committing my life to you.
16) I lusted after the man I loved, not knowing that his love for me, was lust in disguise.
18) I always knew that marriage was going to be all about sacrifice but I never knew that all the sacrifices had to be made by me. 31) The way you have pushed me into a pool of depression and pain, I don’t know if I will ever be able to love again.
36) For the way you have ruined my life forever, I hope that you fail in all your endeavors. 40) For how conveniently you made your way into another woman’s bed, I just wish you were dead. The room was festooned with flowers and the guests sat in expectant silence as Mendelssohn’s Wedding March began to play.


The groom, David Gavin, waited nervously at the altar, turning occasionally to try to catch the first glimpse of his bride. All eyes were on the woman who walked down the aisle wearing a long, flowing gown and carrying a beautiful bouquet.
Even now, five years after that wedding, Adele, 37, has an astonishingly close relationship with 35-year-old David. Adele and David decided to legally separate, but remained the best of friends, going out to see films and even continuing to run a local amateur football team together. Understandably, he was nervous about introducing his new girlfriend to Adele, but he didn’t want to hide the relationship from her. Korena, 33, an accountant, admits to concerns when David told her he was still very close to his ex-wife.
Both Adele and David deposit ?200 ‘when they feel like it’, and both can take small amounts from it when needed. Again while some might commend David’s loyalty to his former wife, others will undoubtedly question it. After a few more strained meetings, David suggested the two women go out for a drink without him. As for gossiping about each other’s quirks and comparing notes on David in bed, Adele says: ‘If anything, it’s my sex life that gets discussed more than theirs.
Korena agrees: ‘We avoid those conversations, but what we do joke about is the fact that when he’s grumpy the best thing to do is feed him and then he chills out.
Couples counsellor Denise Pickup says that although Adele and David’s relationship is unusual, there is a growing trend for couples to remain close after divorce.
The time to worry, Denise says, is when a new partner is unhappy about a friendship with an ex, when one ex-partner wants to be friends more than the other, or when someone keeps their friendship with an ex secret from a new spouse.
That said, when David and Adele sent off their divorce papers, they were returned to them because the court couldn’t see a valid reason for their split. Instead of feeling threatened, though, Korena remembers laughing at the idea: ‘They were like siblings, not an ex-husband and wife. When Adele announced she was pregnant, Korena and David revealed they were planning to get married. David and Korena, who live in Doncaster, now have two sons, Alexander, four, and 18-month-old Ethan. By Sella Oneko South African lawmakers have voted against a motion to impeach President Jacob Zuma.
I know that we haven’t met and I don’t know when we will—but I feel a connection with you.
When my ex and I were in the tangled throes of learning to let go I told him that there was a special someone out there who would love him in the way that I just couldn’t. I knew that there was a woman just for him, who would love nothing more than to be his—one who walked quietly and was supported, despite his chaos.
A woman who wouldn’t challenge him, but instead would just be a soft, little, brown bird who wanted most to feather a small nest of love with him—I know that you won’t ever fly away. I am thankful that he’s found you and that you are teaching him to believe in love again. Because no matter who we are or what we have experienced—we all need someone to show us that love is possible. I know that it isn’t easy to share a life with someone who has a past and seemingly comes with baggage—thank you for not seeing my two little girls as baggage.
My heart is honestly warmed knowing that they have another person in their lives who loves them.
Because the truth is, none of us are perfect—but we all still deserve to be loved for exactly who we are.
I know that I could be jealous and mean and resent that my daughters have a new woman in their lives—but I just can’t be that woman. I hope that you show him what real love is, and that he doesn’t know what he would do without you. I know that you will always take his side when we are having disagreements over our girls—and even for that I am thankful. Because we all deserve to have someone in our corner—even when it is dark and filled with cobwebs.
Because in seeing that someone can choose him with his suitcases of mistakes and coats of what-ifs—helps me believe that someday someone will choose to love me in that way. As odd as it may sound, it makes me dream of a time when we will all be together sharing in the amazingness of these two little, blonde angels—you with him, and someday, another man with me. And it won’t be conventional, and we both may have more children added into the mix and new wedding bands holding our dreams close to our hearts—but it will be beautiful. Thank you for being the woman who I could never be—and for taking the chance to love a once broken man. Thank you for opening your heart to my little girls and showing them compassion and love—because truthfully, all of our lives are better because of you. Kate Rose is an artist, free thinker, lover, writer, passionate yogi, teacher, mother, rule breaker and rebel.
The author writes about him not being easy to love, his mistakes and his chaos, and the new love as someone who walks quietly, won’t challenge him but just be a little brown bird. Tiger Woods’ ex Elin Nordegren apparently likes Lindsay Vonn — at least enough to go to dinner with her.
On paper it may look like you’ve made your escape, but you’re effectively still tethered to each other until your kid turns 18. You may find yourself stuck with the unpleasant task of having to negotiate sticky custody schedules and logistical issues with this new wife, which can quickly become hellish. But regardless of how any of us feel, sharing custody means that this woman has direct influence on my kid and is with her as much as I am, during holidays, birthdays and important events. She likes a lot of the same things I do (it’s hard to escape that one since we both married the same guy) and we share some similar sensibilities.


Under different circumstances we might even have become good friends but she’s married to my ex and that puts a limit on how cozy we’ll get. Some people are never going to be friendly with their ex’s new partners no matter what and that’s okay, too, but it becomes so much easier on everyone if you’re not engaged in that constant drama.
With the passing years, everything gets easier and we’re able to negotiate a healthier balance.
As you move on, you find you’re less inclined to begrudge people around you any happiness, because you’re be too busy being engaged in your own life. I’m delighted to see this article and hope that others have the courage and caring to share their wisdom for the good of other families. Just Look at What We Have Helped to ChangeWe’re the guys who eat stereotypes for lunch. It is the regret of devoting and wasting all the precious years of my life for a man like you. She was his ex-wife, Adele Carrington, who had agreed to be matron-of-honour at David’s second marriage ceremony. They are best friends, godparents to each other’s children, see each other most weekends — and even share a bank account.
David worked as an accountant, Adele in adult education, and they planned to start a family one day. He insists he wasn’t on the look-out for a new relationship, but that it was a case of a friendship blossoming into something more.
There’s only ever a few hundred pounds in it and they use it in an emergency if their bank cards are ever lost or don’t work on holiday. But now, with social networks such as Facebook, it’s easier to stay in touch with an ex-partner.
She gave birth to her daughter, Keisha, in 2006, but her relationship with Keisha’s father broke down and she found herself a single parent. Korena decided she wanted Adele to walk down the aisle first as matron-of-honour, which she duly did. So I asked them to be godparents and, when they had their children, they asked me to be godmother in return,’ she says. They spend Christmas together, regularly go on holiday together and babysit for each other.
Thank you for making them chocolate chip pancakes and for cuddling with my youngest before bed. She can usually be found walking barefoot in the moonlight between worlds with the dreams of stars still hanging in her hair while swaying her hips to the music of life; smelling of sweet bourbon and honeysuckle. You inspire so many people women and men to act with the love you and the other writers share. The fact that Elin can maintain a good relationship with Tiger after all she went through speaks volumes about her as a person. In light of that, I decided to really commit to seeing if we couldn’t find a way to get along better.
My ex’s wife is beautiful, with impeccable fashion style, and no matter what the occasion, she always looks perfect. It can be such a delicate balance with many emotions to consider; if you’re smart, the last thing you want to do is willfully stir the pot and cause ill will with a person who spends a tremendous amount of time with your kid.
Whether it was cheating, betrayal or a lack of love – you will be able to relate to the messages and quotes in this post if your husband was responsible for your split.
I was over the moon when I walked down the aisle to marry you, unaware of the sorrow and sadness I was pushing myself into.
I regret the fateful day when we got married, because that is when I pushed myself into a life so horrid. She lives for adventure and wakes each morning with the excitement of a new day waiting to unfold at her feet. A woman who is involved in the young daughters’ lives, but has not even met their mother. We went out to dinner together a number of times and found that if we set aside our grievances, we could actually enjoy each other’s company.
Typical juicy topics I might delve into with other girlfriends not married-to-my-ex-husband would include sex-life challenges, arguments with their mates or child-raising complaints — and those are all best kept off-limits. Do you really want her venting about you and what a jerk you are around very sensitive ears? I thought we were unusual, but I recently met a family that frequently vacations with the husband’s ex and her new husband.
David was my best friend and I hated hurting him. We talked in a very adult way, although David was very upset, as was I. She truly believes the best is yet to come and waits, with bated breath, to see what it may hold.
We traded nasty blows and had some knockdown drag-outs about any number of issues and then my ex would get in the ring, too, and it would become a full-scale war.
It took a while to get to this point but life is so much more pleasant if you can co-parent without the conflict.
These days we are friends, the 3 of us, as I was not blessed to find a man to love me so well. I make sure to send her a Mother’s Day present to acknowledge all she does for my child, and my daughter benefits from the mutual goodwill. If appropriate, channel your feelings into a message and push it out as a Facebook post or a tweet without taking any names. Let your husband realize that you will never forgive him for forgetting the vows and promises he made on your wedding day.



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