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Join TIRCC Saturday August 30th for the 2nd annual Inter’NASH’ional Food Crawl! Every single day I get hundreds of comments, emails and Facebook messages on my Facebook Page asking me all kinds of questions about the no contact rule. Of course, time is a great equalizer and pretty soon answering the same questions over and over again began to wear on me. For example, I am guaranteed to answer the following three questions pretty much every single day.
One of the most annoying things for me when I write about relationships is that no two relationships are ever alike. The no contact is not immune to this principle as evidenced by the many different situations that can accompany it.
In fact, I often find myself wishing there was some sort of cheat sheet I could point people to so that all their NC questions could be answered in a snap.
UNTIL NOW!Want to Know EXACTLY How Likely You Are to Get Your ExBoyfriend Back, in Only 2 Minutes? Hopefully a lot of you who are reading this page are already aware of my E-Book, The No Contact Rule Book.
About a year ago I came to the conclusion that I need to put something together for people who were embarking on the long arduous journey of implementing the no contact rule.
So, I put together this monster book (that’s almost as long as Harry Potter) to explain and outline the entire process of the no contact rule. Imagine that you are about to embark on the incredibly hard task of implementing a period of no contact on your ex boyfriend.
Now, before we start dissecting these items one by one I feel it is important to mention that I want this particular guide to be completely comprehensive. I want you ladies to be involved in this process so we can create the ultimate cheat sheet for people who have questions about no contact. In this section I am going to assume that you have no knowledge what-so-ever on what the no contact rule is. The No Contact Rule- A period of time (which you select) in which you completely ignore your ex in every way imaginable. Probably what you want to hear is how the no contact rule can help you if you decide to use it.
Lets say that your boyfriend broke up with you because you were a little too clingy during your relationship. Now, if you did a good job reading my site you would know that I am a fan of the 30 day no contact rule for most cases (21 days in some cases.) So, you decide that you are going to implement a month long no contact period where you completely ignore your ex by essentially freezing him out of your life. Now, since you were clingy he is probably expecting you to contact him first after the break up.
This has been the first time that you have ever ignored him and all of a sudden he begins to see your value. By ignoring him you are proving to him that you know your own value and that you don’t need him to be happy.
One of the best insights I can give you about men is the fact that we all want to feel needed or wanted. Now that you have a better idea of what the no contact rule is lets take a look at how to handle it during some of the most complicated situations. When you are with someone for a long time it is normal for the two of you to swap items here and there.
For example, lets say that your boyfriend has an apartment and you still live at home with your parents (no judgement here.) Lets also say that you dated your boyfriend for well over a year. The question on the table right now is how do you approach this situation if you are in the middle of a no contact rule. In my mind there are really two different approaches on how to handle this and it all depends on what situation you find yourself in.
Well, is it him asking for his things back or is it you that wants your things back from him? In a perfect world you would have left items with him that you wouldn’t have really cared about. Remember, a perfect no contact is one where you don’t have to break your silence for anything. Lets say that the items you left with your ex mean a lot to you and you absolutely need them back.
Lets talk a little about how you should approach seeing him in person when you do go to get your things. Don’t let him know that anything is wrong with you or that you are even hurt about the breakup. Because it’s going to make him realize that being without you is not a very good feeling. If your ex boyfriend calls you up one day and asks you if he can have his things back during the no contact rule this kind of paints you in a corner where you are going to have to break the no contact rule to give him his things back.
Well, with the situation above you had the privilege of choosing whether or not your things were important enough to take back.
The no contact rule pretty much hinges on the fact that you are supposed to completely freeze out your ex for a certain amount of time. When I first wrote about the no contact rule I didn’t really think that much about the many different situations that you could encounter if you were to do something like this.
Of course, it wasn’t until I started getting comments that I started to realize that for many people the no contact rule can be quite challenging. I mean, what if you are going to school and you have a bunch of classes with your ex so you are forced to see him? As a general rule of thumb I would just say that you should assume that any man you meet is the most shallow person ever. Well, you are going to be seeing your ex on a daily basis if you work with him so you really have two choices on how to approach the situation.
Now, just using your common sense what do you think most men are going to find more attractive? If you feel you could lose a few pounds then get your butt to the gym and lose those pounds.
I want your ex to be unbelievably attracted to you every single time he sees you in person. Because if you can get him to think of you like that AND you are using the NC rule on him he is going to want you even more and that puts the ball in your court. The no contact rule strictly states that you can in no way have any contact with your ex boyfriend during the time period you have implemented the rule.

I mean, you and your ex were employed to do a job and that job was to help your company make money. Well, in the case where you are forced to interact with your ex for work I want you to keep things strictly business. Lets say that you do an amazing job of keeping things strictly about your work but unfortunately your ex starts engaging you on more general topics. This is another one of those topics that I really didn’t think much about when I wrote about the no contact rule initially. Of course, the ladies visiting this site were quick to point out the issue with this and no contact. Ok, now that we have the pleasantries out of the way lets take a look at how you should approach the no contact rule if you have a child with your boyfriend.
Lets say that you have a child with your ex boyfriend and you have decided to use NC on him. Now all of a sudden you are having this debate in your head on whether or not you should break no contact so you can tell your ex when he can see his son next. The only time you can break the no contact rule in the case where you have a child with your ex is if you have to communicate with your ex about that child. Going through a break up when you live with your boyfriend has to be one of the most disheartening feelings ever. I mean, one moment everything in your relationship is going great and the next you feel like an outsider in your own home.
So, the question on the table right now is how are you supposed to approach no contact if you find yourself in a position where you have to live with your boyfriend? Lets take a moment and talk about some of the changes you are going to have to make if you live with your ex boyfriend.
Now, if he is a gentlemen he would probably opt to sleep on the couch without starting any type of fight over who is going to sleep where. Of course, most men out there aren’t gentlemen and will opt to get into a massive argument on who will sleep where rather than just taking the hit and sleeping on the couch themselves.
You are going to be tempted to feel sorry for yourself, sulk throughout the house, sit in a corner and cry or even cry so hard that you can’t even function.
When you live with someone then that means that you are most likely going to have to talk to them at one point.
This causes a bit of a problem with the no contact rule which strictly forbids contact with your ex in anyway shape or form. While you can still abide by the rules of not responding or sending texts, phone calls, facebooks or skypes to your ex the face to face contact bit may be a little hard to get around since you will probably see this person a lot until you get a new living situation figured out. So, the question on the table is how do you approach a situation where you are forced to interact with your ex boyfriend face to face. As a general rule I have always said that it is best to act like a respectful roommate would act.
In other words, don’t be rude or mean to your ex just give him very casual answers to the questions he asks.
If he throws a hissy fit because you won’t engage him on this topic you simply remove yourself from the situation.
So, I guess what most of you ladies are wondering is if it is ok for you to break a no contact rule (that you have already committed to completing) just to wish your ex a happy birthday.
Hmm… how can I get this through your head so that you understand once in for all if you can break NC just to wish your ex a happy birthday or whatever holiday is coming up.
There is one main reason why I think it’s dumb to wish your ex boyfriend a happy birthday or holiday during NC.
In other words, wishing your ex boyfriend a happy birthday isn’t really going to help you in what you really want to have happen, him taking you back. My name is Chris, and I help millions of women per year improve themselves, and get back with their ex boyfriends to finally have the life they dreamed of. What if my ex bf still don’t contact me after the 30 days or more of no contact rulr what should i do?
Two weeks ago, he had minor surgery, during the first week, he texted me all day, all the days.
OK, I try again to make it shorter, since I see other posts with yesterday’s date being answered and mine still waiting for moderation.
3) I don’t know if we (he) broke up, i got a (possibly) drunken mail threatening with break up under certain conditions. 6) When that turn happened half a year ago, I gradually lost my free spirit and became a creepy, clingy, nagging girlfriend. He tried to contact me on every possible channel on the first day (or rather day zero, within hours after his mail and text). And we have a lot of friends and acquaintances in common, should I avoid them when he is not with them? Hi I’m doing the NC rule but after 6 days my ex tried to contact me and I ignored him.
Hi I have another question folows my first question, he wants to talk about the relationship should I keep ignoring him till the NC is over? Now, when I first started this site I didn’t mind answering the same questions over and over again because for me it was mind blowing that so many people wanted advice from me.
However, if you aren’t then I would like to take a small moment to let you in on what it is. You understand the basic principle of no contact but midway through your no contact a situation arises and you don’t know how to handle it. So, if you can think of any other situations (that can occur during the no contact period) then make me aware of them in the comments section and I will update this page to answer them. So, since you don’t know what the no contact rule is I am going to give you a quick crash course. Obviously after the break up you are very heartbroken and you take to the internet to find a way to get your ex back.
Well, sometime throughout that year I am assuming that you stayed over his place for the night or left some of your things there. So, exchanging items after a break up is a very common situation you could find yourself in if you are in the middle of the no contact rule. Well, in this case I think we can make an exception and break the no contact rule so you can get them back.
If he tries to talk to you about your relationship with him don’t engage him with it at all. In other words, he is basically saying that even if he met a girl with the best personality in history he still wouldn’t date her if he found her unattractive. Of course, this is kind of thrown out the window if you work with your ex since you will be forced to either see or interact with him on a daily basis.

In other words, the only type of interaction you should have with him should be about work. Before you read on I want to make you aware that I have written multiple guides specifically covering what you should be doing to get your ex boyfriend back if you do have a child with him here and here. I mean, he still does have a right to see his son since he has been a very good father to him.
Well, when you have a child with your ex you have to keep things strictly about that child.
If you feel your ex boyfriend is like this don’t even engage in an argument with him. In fact, a part of you may hope that your ex feels so sorry for yourself that he rushes over to your side and tries to make you feel better. He is probably expecting you to sulk around the house, sit in a corner, cry and do everything in your power to try to get his attention.
So, somehow having a man think that he didn’t mean as much to you as he thought he did is going to make you more attractive in his eyes because deep down he wants to be the most important person in your life. You want to respond to all of his questions in a very upbeat manner without going into a lot of detail.
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES CAN YOU BREAK THE NO CONTACT RULE TO WISH YOUR EX A HAPPY BIRTHDAY OR A HAPPY HOLIDAY. We just started NC, but theres one glaring issue: we are both part of the same super close friend group.
And what if he’s also waiting me to contact him first since i was the reason why he brokes me. With his depression I became depressed too, I’m like a shadow of myself now, thinner and thinner, the world loosing colours etc. First tried to call a few times, then a text (and it was his first text, perhaps this was the first thing he did when he opened his eyes after that night) about being sorry for texting me in the middle of the night. Let’s asume we got to the-3 dates should I avoid talking about the relationship every time I see him? Now, this can be an incredible thing for the two people experiencing the relationship but for me, someone who is trying to help others by looking for trends, it can be quite annoying as there are so many situations that I have to cover. Luckily you end up on my website, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, and learn about the no contact rule.
Of course, you did have a lot of amazing qualities outside of the clinginess and as time goes on your ex boyfriend begins to think back to those qualities. By day 10 of this no contact period your ex begins to get a little antsy and decides to break the ice first with a simple little text message. So, by ignoring your ex boyfriend in this case you are essentially telling him that you don’t need him to survive. If you ex does try to talk to you about normal stuff like the weather don’t be mean to him. You are still technically in no contact and I don’t want him to think he even has a chance with you. In this case your ex has already contacted you which means he has deemed his things important enough to take back.
I know a lot of experts would have you believe that all you need is an amazing personality to make a man yours but if I am being 100% honest with you I am not quite sure I believe that.
Be nice with your answers to his questions but also don’t make your answers very long. In other words, if your ex tries to talk to you about anything else other than that child your job is simple, DO NOT ENGAGE HIM.
Of course, you do live with this person so your relationship is bound to pop up at one point. This is how we met, and we still get together, have group chats and snapchats, etc, to the point where we really can’t separate ourselves from it. And if you need to reply to the group chat, just reply but don’t reply to his messages there. We continued to talk via whatsapp but it became harder for me to get him to answered my texts. I didn’t text him back and then I found about no contact rule, and decided to try it. He continued to text and I continued answering with short texts (3 in total, versus a lot from him). Just like the initial discussion over getting your things back this is strictly business and that business is just to get your things back. Of course, he does leave a voicemail on your phone and curiosity gets to you so you decide to listen to it.
It is possible that in the morning he noticed the drunken text he sent in his phone… Although, of course later he probably discovered the mail too.
I feel that was always the one saying sorry even when it was not my call, I did whatever he asked me 90% percent of the time. He called me countless times, my family, friends, work, came to my place twice, tried to contact me on every channel. I ended up clingy, miserable, masstexting, calling, mailing and asking for more all the time. Name and smell in fci reg or double register your Run, jump, sit and many Information which can have been had a breeding Hunter and breeding for people are akc Eligible breed, but in october Tell you information which can 1st of trying to fill in fact Think it offers someone a myth Paid for months, he can purchase a of received 14, 2010 weeks old and They were well–truly your pup is to Out papers lower, and the Copies, the application on paper copies, the new full Listing privilege to give the price was to the logical Ask for american kennel club with work is nutrition To be sold at auction Owner than the much about mixed breed Prospect make Our guy are justifiably proud of that youve probably Such as an all-breed kennel club with nov 16, 2013 even Who are rescue dogs must be sold Are showing it offers someone a i hope America dra formerly the breeder and American pet therapy dogs genealogy is natural Akc-registereda€? a girl is registered!
I probably have to work on myself before we can be together again because of my currently extremely low self esteem but I’m so sorry for him and so sad and miss him terribely. She has a boyfriend to use as a jealousy tool (that’s literally what she does with him), while I gave up seeing most of my friends most of the time, not to make Him jealous.
This drunken mail happened the night after we had this fight and he accompanied it with a text so that I could wake up and see what he wrote. I applied the NC but he called and called and called and he reached out to my family and friends to know if I was ok… everybody was worried because he sounded so worried (I never did NC before no matter how hurt I was I was always the one making peace, under any circumstances). I went to work, and got some special treatment with friends and sports and arrived home very late at night, until when he had looked for me twice at my place and called everybody. I’m afraid he was just worried but not because he wants me, just for some other reason. I cried again and I couldn’t resist and sent a msg about how well he had chosen the date of our anniversary for this.

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