09.05.2015

10 ways to get your girlfriend to break up with you,get ex love back by vashikaran upay,free sms text online to mobile - 2016 Feature

According to experts, single women looking for a happy, secure boyfriend should look for a man with a sister or sisters.
Pro Tip: When surprising your son or daughter at college, make sure you know their correct dorm room number. Have you ever been dating some broad that won’t get off your nuts no matter how badly you treat her?
This one is a bit costly, but well worth it to get rid of a particularly clingy barnacle of a girlfriend.
Is she like a Chinese f**king finger trap, and the harder you struggle, the tighter her grip becomes? Every time you have sex with your girlfriend, set up a camera, but make sure that only you are visible in the frame. I “accidentally” put it in her butt and she screamed so loud that her dad ran into the room with a shotgun, slipped on her diaphragm, and shot himself in the leg!


It doesn’t even matter if her parents live in a trailer, or even if her dad really is a fag or not. Candlelit dinners, fancy restaurants, walks on the beach, hot air balloon rides, all that corny shit that stupid chicks think they like because they hear about it on Oprah or wherever the f**k.
Who knows, you might find that you get real, meaningful satisfaction out of watching snuff films, or practicing taxidermy on your neighbors’ still-living pets. Make sure that the stories that you are sharing are horribly offensive and personal, that you talk and laugh about them as loudly as possible in a public place, and that your girlfriend is within earshot when you do so. The only thing that matters is that your girlfriend has a heart attack when she hears the stories you’re sharing with the one person she hates more than anyone else in the world. It’s about goddamn time for you to grow a pair and get that monkey the hell off your back once and for all. Even better, ask your girlfriend to take part in your nightly prison rape fantasies (with you as the aggressor, of course).


After about the third time you do a beer bong or have a discussion about Lindsay Lohan’s tits with your most obnoxious manbot friend at the dinner table at Spagos, you can kiss her goodbye for good. No, you cannot just do the same thing with a mirror, because then you could probably also see your girlfriend, who I’m willing to bet could stand to lose a little weight and will be in the frame no matter how you try to hide her. No matter how many times she tells you that the clothes are too big, continue to buy them that size.
Not even the gnarliest porn star on the face of the earth would put up with this for very long.



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